| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 7:27:51 PM | I am interested in hearing opinions on this one.
When on dates is it okay to talk about politics? I know on a first date it shouldn't be discussed and for most people it shouldn't be discussed until you really get to know someone.
However, politics is not only interesting for me, it is a big part of my life. I have started an organization that educates young professionals , on political issues. So I am placed in an awkward position, since I am extremely passionate about it.
Do I:
a) Dance around the issue and ignore something I am passionate about
b) talk about it and risk alienating someone
c) none of the above, some combination of the above
Anyway any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks! | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 7:32:42 PM | On a first date,you should keep things light.
Topics like politics and religion are things you talk about when you know someone
a lot better.
Just a personal opinion. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 7:39:15 PM |
When on dates is it okay to talk about politics?
Any fricken time you want!
Don't believe the naysayers. If you want to have lively discussions, find out right quick if you'll be the least bit compatible or not or get to know them so much better than all that small-talk babble stuff would EVER manage... then bring it up. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 7:39:34 PM | | Yeah I agree on a first date, its just at what point can you bring it in :) | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 7:40:03 PM | The only rule I have about acceptable discussion topics is: there are no rules about acceptable discussion topics as long as both parties are comfortable with the subject matter. :-)
Really, the point of this whole exercise (dating, that is) is to get to know someone, yes? So why restrict what you talk about just because you might disagree or, worse, offend this other person with your opinions? If you can disagree without it getting ugly, then no problem. And if you CAN'T disagree without it getting ugly, then you've figured out that you'll probably want to move on to the next person. Either way, it's a win-win if you ask me. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 7:40:25 PM | | I always talk about politics and religion on the first date. I've got to know where they stand if i'm going to date them. Why waste my time if they have 'bad' politics. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 7:44:27 PM | If it's VERY important to you or think it's VERY important to your date...
you should mention it before you go out.
If not that important...
bring it up as regular chit-chat whenever. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 7:51:37 PM | If your politics i.e. Job, are literally part of your life, I would urge you to seek out like minded people. Now days there are sites,grops etc aimed at people in specific situations.
You can always say just what you typed here on the first date,That seems to be explination enough without heavy detail.
The worst things to discuss on the first (few) date(s) are:
1. Politics
2.Religion
3.Ex's
4.Problems in general (Mental,Physical,Job etc.)
In my experience when any of these are brought up, there isnt a second date.
A first date is all about first impressions. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 7:52:59 PM | If I don't care to date a Republican, does that count? LOL
I look at a person's Political stance as saying quite a lot about their philosophy of life and their self-integrity. As a comparison, if you are a Christian and felt that living by the 'book' was important to you, would you date a non-Christian? | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 8:00:10 PM | | Most of the guys I've talked to about politics --both liberal and conservative have gotten really hacked off at me. They can't stand being wrong. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 8:03:10 PM | | Excuse the ignorance but what does "really hacked off at me" mean? | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 8:09:29 PM | | Get it over with if it is that big a deal for you. It is for me and I couldn't be with someone whose views differed GREATLY from my own. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 8:12:06 PM | Quite often we answer our questions if we reread our own thread post.
One would assume that you have exchanged some e-mails and telephone conversation before you meet for the first time. So you should have some clue whether she is conservative, liberal, involved in politics, what have you.
When you get to the date, just mention that you have started an organization...I am passionate about it, are you interested in or participate in politics much?
You either need to find someone with similar political views if this is a big component of your life or at least someone that is capable of engaging in debate and reaching the conclusion that you have different opinions and that is okay.
While you don't want to alienate people if they are ultimately unsuited to you, you are better off finding out early than really liking the person and finding they have a deal breaker that is just not going away for you. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 8:17:43 PM |
Quite often we answer our own questions if we reread our own thread post.
Absolutely, I was just trying to get a consensus, if there was one, on the subject :) Just in case I was totally off.
My personal opinion is that since its important to me I bring it up, like what most people have said (maybe not on the first date, but definitely at the latest the second) | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 8:27:16 PM | I would say you should bring it up between the 2nd and third course... However if you are only having coffee, then you might want to consider ordering a coffee cake, so as to carry you over....
Unless you are a total novice, there isn't a particular time to talk about politics EXCEPT, when you first meet and sit down.... The hi glad to meet you, what are your thoughts on politics simply is NOT the time...
As it has been posted before, dating a like minded person, they very well may bring it up themself. BE ABLE TO LISTEN, especially if you don't agree with their choice of candidates, or political stances. IF you say, I think so in so is the stupidest person since the pet rock, and that is the person they back, chances are likely you will not have a pleasant time...
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 8:29:54 PM | | Choose to date someone with like interests and politics. You should find that out in emails before you go on a date. Nothing worse than trying to make a valid point (in your view) to someone who has the total opposite view. It just isn't worth it. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 9:24:00 PM |
Do I:
a) Dance around the issue and ignore something I am passionate about
b) talk about it and risk alienating someone
c) none of the above, some combination of the above
b---if just telling someone about your organization alienates someone, a long-term relationship would probably not work out anyway. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/7/2008 10:04:57 PM | If both parties understand the drastic difference between debate and argument then I would say as long as it isn't the first date I would say go for it. But this will take time to find out so that is a moot point.
Both parties having the ability to agree to disagree and respect each others difference in opinions is also key. Yet another thing not usually there early on.
Emotionality, taking things personal and a lack of understanding is common early on. Mix those with something already heated, emotional and personal, watch out! | |
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K-lo
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Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 19 | |
| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/8/2008 2:52:03 AM | Get it out there early. You both need to know whether:
1) One or the other of you will constantly be bored to pieces listening to each other, and or listening to yourself talk about your passions to a brick wall that would rather have a rubber ball bounced off of it.
2) You have the same political viewpoints. I could date someone apathetic to politics, but not someone who is a polar opposite of me . . and has strong convictions for those opposite viewpoints.
Well, that's it. I only have two reasons. But, I say get it out there early. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/8/2008 3:30:32 AM |
Do I:
a) Dance around the issue and ignore something I am passionate about
b) talk about it and risk alienating someone
c) none of the above, some combination of the above
My responce for you is. B.
Why dance around the issue. You know that it's something that is very important to you so get it out in the open and talk to them about it. You might put someone off by your stance, but at least your being honest with yourself and them right? Better to see if your standing on the same ground as them in your views right away then to wait and end up falling down a hole after you get attached to them. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/8/2008 4:00:03 AM | when you say politics, are you referring specifically to politics of government; or are you referring to any type of point of view (e.g. at-work office politics)?
inevitably, opposing opinions will be found out eventually (and EVERYONE has opposing opinions at some point) so the question is do you want to find out straight away or would you rather it took you longer, say a fortnight or a few months?
also, are you talking about politics for FUN (e.g. because its a big part of your life) or to determine whether your date shares your political viewpoint?
you also have to consider your date's feelings - its not all about you. what does SHE want to do? does SHE want to talk about politics as much as you?
final answer: b) and some of c). | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/8/2008 6:38:31 AM | Liberals and the far left are the ones most intolerable of another point of view. All others ( Dems, Rep, Indep. Libertarians) would have no problem discussing politics or having a different point of view concerning politics......
IMHO..........No problem talking politics on first date as long as that is not (all) you talk about. Having light conversation over a wide range of topics is fine as opposed to dwelling on just one topic like politics.
Having said that and speaking of politics............. anyone notice how Hillary`s campaign is bombing and sinking big time ? Can you spell Titanic ?  | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/8/2008 10:22:45 AM | Ha Hillery , hate to say it but the dems finally have a shot at the White house in a while and they field Hillary and an African American.. Might as well field a gay guy and act surprised when they lose ..
And Politics , I would say yes talk about them , Personally I want to know who hugs trees , saves wales, and argues Terrorists cought on a battle field deserve rights and then support killing babies..
When someone supports causes of life yet agrees to take it in the womb I would find that a good reason to walk away from them and point out they need to stop over compensating by saving all that is not human and just save the humans un born as of yet ,, | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/8/2008 2:53:56 PM | | OP, I'd put it in my profile in bold so that people who make it past that filter know what they're getting into. There's nothing wrong with passions. It's just finding people that share them is the hard part. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/8/2008 3:30:34 PM | Since you are into politics as you state ~ you should be nimble enough to deal with this.
Politic can be discussed with some objectivity and tact. But it all depends on what level each one of you are at with understanding.
If you've been tuning into all the hate and left bashing and, say ~~ she has not ~ she might get upset when you start foaming at the mouth and wish to leave you or change the subject. ~ But if she's tuned into the same slash and attack, elevated blood pressure with the wild hawkish stare ~ with hate and vemon bubbling up and filling both your senses ~ It might be quite an evening for both of you.
If politics is your love ~ you cannot hide it ~ and any woman that might wish to be your darling need to have some apperication for it. It's team sport game ~ saddly ~dar | |
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