| The "magic" age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 8:02:43 AM | This is sort of a re-post - but I wanted to target this to those of us who are 45+.
Last year, at age 55, I posted a profile to another Internet dating site. More than a few women who had interesting profiles on that site responded to my introductory e-mails with the answer (with variations) "You're too old for me". Now, if these women had been 25 or 35 or even 45, I could understand it. But why would a woman who posts a profile on an Internet dating site who says she is 50 or older tell a man who is 55 that he's "too old for her"?
I recently had a conversation with some people where I was working and one of the women said, "I only date guys under 50. Guys over 50 are too stodgy, too dull and just boring." (She happened to mention that she was 58.)
Comments? | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 8:14:39 AM | Hell op, i know the feeling....lol, i run a motorcycle dealership and i gurantee the 25-35 yr. olds can't keep up....on any level | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 8:21:28 AM | Evidently nobody's told them about 50 being "the new 30"!
I date people of all ages - I'm currently seeing a 38 year old man as well as a 60 year old. (and yes, they both know I'm seeing others) | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 8:29:39 AM | Well truth be told it does seem to happen more often with men over 50. You (we) run into more of them who are "tired" every evening after work, which also sometimes means they are spending their weekends running the errands they were too tired to do during the week. I am not saying this of all men over age 50 but it truly does seem to be happening more, the more over 50 I meet.
I tend to doubt if they are really "tired". I think that they have become set in a routine and are too "stodgy" to break from it.
Complacency seems to settle on many of us older folks without us much realizing it, much like that extra weight which has gathered around the middle.
It is up to each one of us as individuals to decide if that is the life we are satisfied with or if we would prefer to get up off our romps and strive for something more. I hope that those who strive for something more can find a partner who is open to recognizing these traits.
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 8:37:54 AM | Hello FD,
I am 55 and not opposed to guys my own age,
your just in the wrong part of the country....lol, (jk)
I have dated guys in several different age ranges, it just
depends on the mindset of the other person. It seems like
you would be very interesting to get to know. 
Happy   & Happy NY
Jude | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 8:42:08 AM | | EVERYONE seems to think they are "young for their age", and seek out younger mates. I find it all too funny, because when I meet some of these people, woo boy! You may FEEL young, but you look "age-appropriate" [or older], for dang sure! I don't really like guys TOO young, anyway--I have too little in common with someone who is just starting to click at work (I'm closing in on retirement). The one guy I recently dated would still be working when I'm 70. What would *I* be doing, twiddling my thumbs at home waiting for him?? | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 8:47:31 AM | | She's got a problem. If she thinks "guys over 50 are too stodgy, dull and boring," she is either limiting her pool of eligible men or she's not dealing with her own advancing age and wants to be seen as 35. I pity her. | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 8:58:44 AM | | The logic of specifically targeting much younger men escapes me. I can see the exceptional relationship occasionally happening (older woman, younger man). I know a few long-time, happily married couples that fit the description. However, to exclude men who are the same age or older is to discard much of what makes men interesting. If some men are "tired" or complacent, the answer would seem to be to keep looking. 50+ year-old men are not all tired and complacent any more than 50+ year-old women all have stereotypical attributes. | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 8:59:06 AM |
She's got a problem. If she thinks "guys over 50 are too stodgy, dull and boring," she is either limiting her pool of eligible men or she's not dealing with her own advancing age and wants to be seen as 35. I pity her.
Compassion is nice...pity might be an unnecessary insult (at least I would be insulted if someone pitied me). I don't think I need to add the usual disclaimer here to avoid being bashed for making generalizations, since I've already said that I date people of all ages...but your comment triggered another response.
I do like people of all ages, however, those men under 50 do seem to have a lot less complaints than men over 50. Some of the over 50 complaints are lack of energy, tired much of the time, too busy much of the time, sexual dysfunction (E.D....and that's a BIGGIE!!). I never seem to meet men under, say, 45, who have ANY of those complaints. Now I do meet men over 50 who don't have these complaints either...but more do than don't, in my experience. If you really want to pity someone, perhaps you should pity all those over 50 guys who can't get it up anymore, or can't do anything but sit in their easy chair watching tv after work, or can't....or WON'T...do much of anything. | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 9:27:59 AM | OP I would be honored to date you, but then you would have to want to date an OLDER woman! But the commute would be worth it! 
It is very difficult for me to date an older man, seeing most older than me have one foot in the grave!  | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 9:28:43 AM |
"I only date guys under 50. Guys over 50 are too stodgy, too dull and just boring."
Stodgy and boring have no age limit. I have dated guys 13 years younger than me who were boring; I have dated men eight years older than me who are NOT boring.
I will say that older men are sometimes stuck in the past. They look at "things" differently than younger men, i.e. gender issues, a woman's place, etc. Also, geography can affect the outlook of men.
BUT shouldn't we consider each person as an individual? | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 9:42:52 AM |
shouldn't we consider each person as an individual? I agree wholeheartedly.
Mietzele | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 9:47:52 AM | no problem here datin guys in their fifties amd beyond......!! I AM 54... and notice that with the older we get, there is less drama, and it actually is getting more relaxing and fun...  | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 10:01:30 AM | More than a few women who had interesting profiles on that site responded to my introductory e-mails with the answer ( with variations) " You're too old for me"
OP.... Your current profile says you are searching for " OTHER Relationship", which you further describe as a long term friendship with sexual intimacy.Perhaps this isn't the kind of relationship the women you contacted wanted and it has nothing to do with your age. Perhaps, " your age" is just an excuse/ reason to give you, in order to avoid having to tell you that your agenda for a relationship differs from theirs. Perhaps, they just don't want to be bothered explaining it to you or they're afraid they'll get some backlash from you, about it.
Just a thought. | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 2:45:17 PM | First time I here something like this.
I wonder...where you feel this magic?
In my opinion...for most of the men ...the magic age of 50...is real slow down...physical slow down... | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 2:58:24 PM | OP.....I feel your pain. I, too have received those "too old for me" replies. If they only knew. Most of the people in my social circle are 10-20 years my junior, and I can still party them under the table and make it to work on time the next day! It's all in the attitude, and knowing how to 'pace' yourself.
I tend to doubt if they are really "tired". I think that they have become set in a routine and are too "stodgy" to break from it.
I would WELCOME a break from the routine. I may be tired after work, but never too 'stodgy' to break from the mundane. I relish the spice of variety.
shouldn't we consider each person as an individual?
I agree. I also agree that 'age' is just a number. I've dated women 10 years older than me, and I've dated women 20 years younger. It's just a matter of having enough common ground (i.e. similar interests) on which to base the relationship. | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 3:01:41 PM | | Try being a 57 year old woman and having a 56 year old man state he does not date anyone older than he is...................I guess that was better than some other excuse.............. | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 3:12:11 PM | Ageism is a prejudice like any other and it is alive and well in both genders. The only way you can find out if the50+ person is "too stogy, dull and just boring is to meet them face to face and see them for a while. I have met lots of men who are 50+ on dating sites who are very interesting, funny, fit, intelligent, kind, generous and fun to be with. I have also men 50+ men who have basically given up on life and are not interested in their growth as human beings. They are not interesting to me because I am full of life and have lots of interests. Given that I am just turning sixty, the fifty year olds are a tad young for me. But if I met one who was interested in me and had the qualities I am looking for you bet I would meet him at least a few times. I think it is sad when we prejudge others. It says more about us and how we narrow the field when it comes to meeting a life partner. Mind you would I want to be with someone who is that prejudice and narrow? I don't think so.
There are a lot of men and women on POF who are not ageists. They are looking for people who give or take a few years the same age. For me 5-7 years below or above my age is about right. I am going to keep looking until I find a good match. Of course we may have to have an over 75 by the time that happens. | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 3:25:59 PM | OP..... if I were to say,
'You are too YOUNG for me'
would that be any better?
actually, looking back, I think I was pretty boring at 5o | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 3:27:16 PM | | We all age differently. I know very young 58 year old men. I know very old 45 year old men. It all depends. | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 3:30:18 PM | OP - it's tough not to generalize things like this, but I guarantee it happens to all of us. I put my profile on Match, and not one email. When I did a search for men ages (45-55), I would say that 90% of the men were seeking women under the age of 45. I cancelled after a 3 day trial.
The best way to approach dating is person by person. It's hard not to generalize, or lump people together, but by generalizing, we tend to pass up some really good people. My experience with some men in my age group, is they do get into a "routine". They enjoy going to the same steak house, they enjoy going to the same vacation spot, they shop at the same store. If they are content that way, so be it, but for me, variety is the spice of life! | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 3:38:25 PM | 90% of the men were seeking women under the age of 45. I cancelled after a 3 day trial.
You didn't even give match.com a chance!
That's okay, my 3-month subscription yielded the same result.
And Yahoo Personals as well, but I gave it six months.
Heck, what do I have my age range set to?
Ahh, 28 to 50.
Wow, I must have been getting desperate before I gave up. | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 3:43:17 PM | Well I will be 52 in a few months and I have had more fun with men around my age and a few that were in their late 50's early 60's.....Seems like we laugh and have a good time instead of just "lets go F......k" as alot of the younger men want to just do. | |
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| The magic age of 50?
Posted: 1/10/2008 4:02:48 PM | While I don't know why a 50+ woman would tell a man of 55 that he is 'too old for her' I do know that 50 *IS* a magical age. I turned 50 in July and am loving it. My youngest child turned 18 this year. The two events have really given me a sense of freedom from many of the responsibilties I've carried for the past several years - especially those of a single mother.
I've dated older and younger men. If there are common interests, the age isn't an issue for me. I will admit that I prefer to date men my age or older. | |
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