| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 6:14:38 AM | when we were younger we were taught that we should have morrals.why now years down the line, that they dont even count no more.theres to many diseases around and some NOT all people think sex is a number one thing.me personally, it should stay special between two people.  | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 6:55:33 AM | I too feel this way. It seems most men treat sex like they are trying on new shoes or something . . . and if it's really a 'good fit' they will consider the possibility of a relationship. In my mind, that's putting the cart before the horse. The chemistry they seek does not exist outside of a serious relationship (at least for me). I've had a few conversations that made me feel like sex would be the "audition" for the role of your life, but without getting to know the fellow first how are we to determine if this is part you want to play? And who wants to have sex with someone who openly admits their likely to drop you if you don't automatically perceive and fulfill their every desire?
 What a turn off!
For me it is in the making of connections on the mental, emotional and spiritual levels that make true partnership possible, and without that you've no foundation to build on--this takes time and effort. I sure hope there are few guys out there who feel the same.
 Maybe the question should be, "Is there anyone out there who really wants to build a relationship?" | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:01:24 AM | | Oh Ladies I so agree to this topic.I run into this daily.I was told," well you are 50 and this is the year 2008" so does that mean I should lose the morals and values I was raised with?Some seem to think so. | |
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V5RED
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Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 5 | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:03:57 AM | The funniest thing that always comes to mind when I hear people whine about "Old-fashioned Values" is that they by no means guarantee that you will be safe from STDs.
If anything, serial monogamists are at the mercy of their partner's "honor". Usually once a couple settles down and gets married they start having unprotected sex, possibly on the pill, possibly not. Now for those couples, what do you think happens if one partner cheats? And let's not pretend that there aren't married couples that do! 
All of a sudden you've been riding bareback, possibly for years with a partner you THOUGHT you could trust, who might well have been lying to you for days, weeks, months or even YEARS. Depending on your level of sexual activity, that's a heck of a lot of Russian Roulette... 
Now take casual daters that are having sex. I will freely admit that if you are a casual dater and going at it bareback with every date you meet, you are playing with your life. But how often do casual daters implicitly trust the cleanliness of their partners enough to risk condom-free sex? Drunken idiots aside, most people live by the philosophy "no glove, no love". So if anything they are practicing SAFER sex than a well-established couple...
So at the end of the day what's the difference between a supposedly-monogamous couple and a casual coupling? The latter is hoping for the best but has covered themselves to protect against the worst, while the former is hoping for the best and possibly letting their guard down.   | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:10:43 AM | I once had a internet lady friend in Michigan or some other state north of me (ohio). She actually it would be ok for her son to try it out (sex) before marriage, to help decide on the girl. I could not believe it!
Yes sex should be between two people in love for it is the ultimate phyiscal sign of love.
Where have the morals gone? PArents have not taught their children and the polictical correctness (what you believe is correct). | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:12:26 AM | people haven't really changed, they are just more honest and upfront about what they are looking for. As they say, there is nothing new under the sun.
if anything, things are better now for people as they have the right to choose and not effected by the social norms they once were. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:13:04 AM | hey wendycats
so when u say old fashion values i'm gonna have to agree with you even tho i'm a guys and only 20 but i'll have to agree with you noone anymore expecialy my age people all they wanna do is screw anything that walk's but i do agree that sex between 2 people should be a special time in a relationship and well its hard to find a gentalman u know they guys that open up the car door for u, always let the girls go tho the door first, always let the lady walk on the one side so if a car go's by while ur walking to will splash the guy not the girl and a guy that will pay for anything on a date and wont accept ur girl's money and so on well i hate to say it but i think i'm the only guy out there that will do any of that stuff i do it cause i like to not cause i wanna impress a lady. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:17:30 AM | | Agreed sex should be special. So many people want to run for that instant gratification. Before they even get to really know each other. Maybe it's why we have some many failed marriages these days. Personally I think sex before you really get to know each other can really complicate the relationship. I've tried the instant gratification thing and while it is good for the moment it doesn't seem to fulfill my ong term desires...so my vote is back to old fashion values. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:20:51 AM | I guess I look at values as a whole package and not just about sex...it's having someone hold a door open for you...someone making sure your needs come before theirs. I don't think it's all about sex.
Where has it gone? We let if loose...we allowed society to put little value on many of the things that we miss so much now. My son is almost 20 and I really think the girls his age are missing out on things...he is polite and I hope he's learned values and manners and respect, but overall...from seeing many of his friends...it's just not there now. I feel sorry that those girls won't be treated like they should be. I just hope they've been taught them so they can pass them on etc... | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:23:36 AM | Where have the old fashioned values gone? For an answer to this one needs not look far to understand what has happened to our values. All you have to do is pick up the remote and turn on the television and cable access. Shows like Desperate Housewives, Sex in the City, just to name a couple definitely don't display a sense of Old Fashioned Values. And what about daily soap operas? How about some of the talk shows you see today?
Lets not forget about what's being talked about in our public school systems these days. Lets see, I saw one show, on TV, where the so called experts, claimed that it was irresponsible for schools to teach abstinence solely. Rather they should be teaching the practice of safe sex as well. What kind of message does this send to the youth today. You should think about waiting until marriage, but in the event you don't want to, it's ok as long as you use safe sex measures? And we wonder why teenage premarital sex is rampant.
The problem is that we, yes we, as a society have embraced, if not encouraged actions that are contrary to what we were taught. And believe me there are certain groups that haven't helped things out by making values based on religious values taboo in our school system.
As I mentioned earlier, one does not have to look far to understand what's happened to Old Fashioned Values...... | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:25:05 AM | at what time in the history of the world were people without bad values? even adam and eve were not able to be trusted.
maybe your experience with life is not that which is real but imaginary. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:30:37 AM | Ok I am most likely going to catch some greif here. LOL
Yes ideally it would be nice to have some old fashion values, but I for one do not want the seperate beds other then coupling...only 3 postiions..and no TOYS! As for it being special with only one person. Come on ladies have you never been with a guy that you thought was all that and in bed you were like UCK! Same with men. Sex is not the ALL in a relationship but it surely plays on your self estem in time if its not in a relationship and its when ppl either get therapy or they cheat.
So I am NOt into one night stands has it happened in my life YES. Lucky for me I ended up with a best friend out of it. Is it a practice that is safe no hence why its not for me. By safe I dont mean jsut STDS .Pregnancy and what not I mean emotional on both and respecting even yourself!!
Do I believe in sex before marraige... shhh dont tell my teenage son but heck yes. I am a grown women and I know what I like in the bedroom and Out. Come on lets be honest. THere are times when you want sweet love making and other times when breaking a few lamps and sewing clothes is well worth the memories.
LOL ok I know some will give me crap and its ok. Cause I know I am not a slut. I am picky but I surely am not a prude. When I see old fashion requests I chuckle some. Careful what you wish for addage. I want a man thats got some good old fashion foundations but the bad boy lives free in the modern world. It keeps things intresting. Hence the captured bad boy that runs naked with you under the cover and protection of darkness so your not in jail! LOL | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:33:40 AM | I don't mean to be contrary, but I disagree....somewhat;)
First, one would have to define what they mean by someone having "old fashioned values".
Are we talking about the good ol' days when people went to church on Sundays as a "perfect little family" but once behind closed doors all hell broke loose??
Or perhaps the good ol' days when teenage pregnancy/single motherhood "didn't exist"...BUT the orphanages were so full they were refusing babies??
Or maybe we miss the good ol' days when women were seen as chattel and had no rights?
Or how about them good ol' days when women were told by their local priests that they couldn't "refuse" their husbands even when they came home drunk?
I know that I personally miss nothing of the good old days where back in the 70's, I was refused a school loan simply because
I was a woman and I was told by a fat middle-age male chauvinist pork that women belonged in their kitchen and that it was a "waste" of money and time for us women to get an education!!!
Nor do I miss the days when women and children were left literally destitute in the streets because there were no laws enforcing the fathers who left them to pay child support. Some people would like to think that all that happened a very long time ago and
that it's all water under the bridge now. But look at me...I'm NOT that old for god's sake and all of that happened to ME personally. The father of my children, with whom I was married for 5 years and whose children were both wanted AND conceived within that marriage NEVER once paid any child support or stayed involved in his children's lives, because he didn't HAVE to. ( yep, them were the good ol' days alright;)
So no I'm sorry but I personally don't miss the good ol' days or the good ol' fashioned values (cough) that came with them...at ALL!
As far as I'm concerned, there are as many people today who are kind, good, and honest people as there ever was in
them good ol' days...it's just a matter of opening up our hearts and letting them in.
I also believe that people reap what they sow, and that kindness breeds kindness...but to each their own;)
JMHO | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:48:44 AM | Agreed with Native Warrior. And with Lady Dawn as well.
Funny, was just talking about this the other day, how everything has changed.... how back in the day, it was a man's pride and joy to be seen as a good family supporter, it was one of the definitions of manhood. Now it's a burden. No responsibility, or as little as possible is the way to go. Money is more important than a happy family, or stable kids growing up with mature parents. Instead of money being seen as simply a means to ensure the physical health of a family, it's seen as the be all end all, and people worry about who's providing the main financial support...and the one that is providing for the emotional and mental well-being, but not the physical, is valued at nothing.
And nowadays, what else do men have to define them besides being good on their job, and their****? With all the variety of life, society has found only two points on which manhood is centered. Wow. Don't tell me fatherhood is one of them. We wish and dream, lol. Many are good fathers, many more aren't.
Because what's immediately visible is valued higher, than what is not. Because money, instant gratification, eternal youth, fun , fun, fun, and no responsibility is the buzz word... getting people to believe they have no responsibility towards others was the vilest thing ever....it's tearing at the fabric of society. Evil times, evil times.
We do have responsibilities to each other and for each other, on many levels between child support, and just holding doors open.
Responsibilities for children are still predominantly left mainly with the mother, but there are no responsibilities between man and wife...or one partner to another. It's easy come, easy go, and I bet if some could do this with their kids as well, they would, and some do.
*steps off soapbox* | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:05:54 AM | After being married most of my life - 4.5 years ago I ran into today’s 40 something - sexually liberated female ..........
I stopped dating right after I started. The “specialness” of sex was gone. It seemed to just be part of the date. Any date - any guy.
I certainly don’t clam to be anything special but ...... if sex between two people no longer needs to be special - I am just not interested in dating.
Being viewed as just another sausage with feet ...... is not my idea of fun. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:25:45 AM | I don't think the values have changed at all. It's the perception and the ways in which we acquire that has changed.
Promiscuity, physical/mental abuse, lying etc. has always been around. Where do you think we as a society pick up on those things? Our parents? The media?
The world has shrunk considerably with the onset of the information age. We no longer just know what the neighbours are up to, but the world as a whole. This has been both a blessing, and a curse it seems. If a child/teenager/adult has not been exposed to a good moral up-bringing from his/her parents they can find the answers to almost any, and I mean any, questions they might have via the internet, local organizations etc..
Sex was never discussed in my family, ever! How did I learn about it? Books at first, then progressively through friends(big mistake..lol) and then with the advent of TV, the Internet etc..
But to be 100% honest about it all, it boils down to what has been passed down by our parents. It all starts at home, period. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:31:13 AM | People aren't so much different when it comes to sex then they were 50 yrs ago.
Only difference is,women were a lot more discreet about their actions back then. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:33:24 AM | Morals have always been disposable to most people (arguably everyone at some point), and I know PLENTY of older people that have been sluts in their day.
Morals haven't gone anywhere or gotten any worse..... as we get older our perceptions obviously change and we see things we used to overlook before. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:36:44 AM | i believe that most people still have what i think are old fashioned values. i think we are talking about morals here. the main difference is today we are exposed through television and internet to so many different lifestyles than ever before. gay people, pregnant teens, promiscuous men and women, bigamists, polygamists, and television evangelists were always around. our exposure level is just so much more. a person can find out information about any and every lifestyle on the web. now it may be biased information but it is out there. so our perception of the world going to hell in a handbasket is more stimulated by the media and the web. people have been falling short of a perfect moral existence for ever. and in a thousand years it will seem worse. more earth population more free will and more reporting of the sicko who impregnates his teenage daughter and then kills her.
all i can do is live the life that i believe to be right. i can love my fellow human even though they don't mow their yard as often as i would like. i can be an example for my sons who have to still live in this the 21st century and who have to make choices as to what they are willing to do and say. but i do not want to sit around my last 50 years and fret that the world is coming to an end. if it does sayanara (or however you say goodbye in japanese) peace to all my friends and goodwill to all men. (and women) | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:44:28 AM | Oh for the old fashioned values. Like in 1900?
Should we go back to the days when teaching birth control could get you thrown into jail? After that we'll take the vote away from women, then put them back in the kitchen. They don't need education, do they?
Then of course women don't enjoy sex, so they must be taught to submit to their husbands, who frequent bordellos that exist in every town and hamlet.
Sorry. I think I prefer today. | |
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| where have the old fashioned values gone
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:47:02 AM | | Times are changing, ya gotta change with the times..Hell, I admit I used to like to listen to the Monkeys......these days you listen to rap artists talking about "Cop Killa"..I remember when I was a kid laughing at my mom doing the jitterbug, we are all the same people, we just have differant ways to express it now..you either jump on the wagon or eat the dust left behind it... | |
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