| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:01:29 AM | This has been on my mind for a while (yeah, sex always is but hey!).
I've been out with 3 guys in the last 12 months.
One out of the three wanted to know what I liked and it mattered to him.
If I go into a new realtionship and become intimate to me..this is a new person..who will like things the way they like..so I ask and make a point to remember and add to the experience in gentle stages.
However, out of the three guys I have dated, two of them had 'a routine' which had obviously worked (?) for some women. I would say what I liked but the next time..same old routine.
One guy, the sex was terrible, the foreplay was awful and he actually hurt me physically.
I make a point of learning what someone likes and doesn't like.
Some guys don't seem to do this.
Have you experienced this?
Do you listen? Do you remember? | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 2 | |
| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:14:55 AM | We're supposed to have a routine?
Dang...so much for being in the moment and paying attention to her reactions.
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:18:46 AM | I find this to be extremely important when it comes to a potential relationship... and of course this is explored in our conversations...
Inquiring about such questions does give me an idea if we would be sexually compatible aka on the same page... Knowing what his desires are and me fullfilling them is on my "to do" list... however... I need this to be mutual and not a one way street...
If a guy thinks that it is ok for sex to be a ROUTINE... aghhh..grrrrr...
"ME NO LIKE HIM NO MORE...."-- | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:30:10 AM | My experience, such as it is, has been a little bit of both. If they were all catering to what I liked, then sex would be the same no matter who I was with. Boy would that be a let down. LOL
But everyone I've been with has been different. I'd say they all had "their" default way of approaching and doing the deed. But then, some like you said tried to learn what I wanted and some really had no clue.
And with some, it was a cooperative exploration of possibilities to learn what we both liked together. :) I'd say that's by far the best of both worlds.
Plus not every guy, well, feels the same. Is that a crass thing to say? I'm betting OP knows what I mean, being female. Size might not matter, but it does affect things like position, speed, foreplay, etc.
Hmmm...this is an interesting question. I think it's a little like making stone soup. We all bring something different to the soup based on our past - what we previously liked and what our previous partners liked - and ideally, we also find out what kind of ingredients the other partners enjoy in their "soup"...so that when you mix it all together the results are a surprise and unique for each couple. (and not always a good surprise but we certainly shoot for that).
Kaylie | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:33:45 AM | | routine?if tripping over my pant legs everytime i get a chance to get some constitutes a routine the i guess i have one.of course i remember what she likes.if she doesnt like it theres know more pant trippin. | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:35:45 AM | AWWWWW...Blueskies123...it's called...it's all about me...some people both male and female don't know how to actually make love...they don't take the time to get to know what each other likes and dislikes...I myself if I'm in a relationship and it gets to the point of us sleeping together...I'm going to take the time to stop and smell the roses if ya get my drift...if your guy gets his rocks off and doesn't give 2 hoots about whether you do or not...kick his ass to the curb...you would probably get more satisfaction from masturbating or your B O B... | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:40:20 AM | I view exploring sexuality with a partner the same way as the rest of the relationship. Some men listen, some men tell you that they're listening, but you'll know if he really did at some point in time. If you are trying to convey what you enjoy sexually to him and he's not listening, perhaps he shouldn't be there in the first place...
It is a learning process for both of you, but learning implies paying attention and actually listening... And I don't mean just what you're saying with your mouth either, if you get my drift.
;) | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:46:29 AM | If you don't have a routine, how can we give you a 10??
My experience is that every man does it slightly differently, but that's ok by me. | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 9:02:00 AM | | OP - I know what you mean and have experienced the same thing with some men. They seem to be the ones who have no trouble specifying how they want certain sexual acts performed, but pay no heed to what the woman requests. If this goes on for any length of time, I just end the relationship. If a man isn't concerned enough to hear me in the bedroom, he certainly isn't going to hear me regarding anything else in the relationship. | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 9:02:05 AM | Mmmm...no point in doing it if you don't pay attention to your partner in my mind.
So, yes, I consider myself attentive, and I do like to focus on making things as pleasurable for the partner as possible. | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 9:10:34 AM | Yes, i have been with people who seem to be working
from a script. ( “It has been 7.5 minutes since we hit the sack.
Time to move from the ____ to the _____”) This kind of
thing includes sins of omission as well (“ No guy has ever
liked THAT! I don’t do THAT! WHY would you want me
to do THAT?”).
I am sure that for some it is a matter of “MEMEMEME”,
but for others it is just that no one has ever dared suggest
that what works for one partner doesn’t work for EVERY
partner.
But .... isn’t it great when one of the second type learns
to let go and just be in the moment ? When they loosen
up enough to learn to “listen” to their own bodies as well
as their partners ? | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 9:43:00 AM | If a guy is worth his weight in Camel-$#!t . .
he will make the Effort to Please the Lady that Allows him to Share in a Wonderful Experience . . !!
..{note: the key words}..
***
I was instructed {and Spoiled}.. by a Master . . many years ago . . on how to please a woman that enjoys Sex as much as I do !!
I discovered an Intense attraction to Oral . . _Giving_ it, that is . . 
What better feeling can a man have ..
than having his Lady _KNOW_ that he is about to go so far South on her, that she brings her Passport to bed .. in order to Get Home . . !! .. ??
. .  !.. !!.. !!! . .
* She would _Often_ have to physically grab my hair and P u l l me back Up on her ..
to fully finish the session . . Properly . . !!
. . Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh . . I miss Her. . !!! | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 11:14:24 AM | | Wow. I'm beginning to think that staying single and sexless isn't all that bad. | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 12:12:00 PM | Great communication,and having a desire to please your partner is what makes
sex great.
That being said,a man has to want to pleasure me as well.
Yes,I have experienced bad/routine sex.
Men like this are not very open minded,and I get the impression they are
fucking me just to get themselves off,that they don't care about my pleasure.
I remember bad sex,but it's something I choose to forget.lol | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 12:43:06 PM | Too bad there are men like this.
What happens, I think, is that such men who have a solid routine are more confident and are thus able to have more partners. On the other hand, many of the "listener" have less self-confidence to start with and feel the importance of satisfying their partner for her to stay around. | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 1:47:50 PM | I just live vicariously through the boards, so don't mind me while I take notes. Please, more details! 
Honestly, though, I believe in going with the flow. That doesn't mean being submissive, but hoping you will react or give hints as to what you want when you want. In some ways, it would be nice to know ahead of time, but then in my mind I end up setting my expectations too high (which is my fault and not hers) and frustrating us both. With a new partner, exploration is a big part of the fun and her asking for more foreplay is just that much hotter.
I can't see how a routine is the way to go. Each partner is different and each time with the same partner is different. | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 2:07:13 PM | Sounds like either you are clicking with someone sexually (and they with you) or youre not. I had a boyfriend once who was fanTAStic with foreplay but the sex was just...well...horrible. He was all about getting women to the point where they wanted sex, then he just got off and he was done. I guess I was supposed to get "mine" during foreplay.
As for a "routine".....wheres the fun in that? The whole point of being in a committed relationship is to make it fun, interesting, sexy....repetition is the opposite of all of those! | |
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EH1
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Joined: 1/8/2008
Msg: 19 | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 2:22:10 PM | | I have becomes super boring in bed since my wild days. My only problem is guys want to do more even after I tell them I want nothing to do with new things when it comes to sex. But they always push!! So I feel ya on that but I like the regular routines. | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 2:41:56 PM | okay...This is what works best for me.
Think of womens "horniness" like Pavlovs dogs.....
In the beginning, men make sure you do it ALL! oral, manual, kissing , massaging and most important the teasing. Do everything till she is grabbing your hair screaming for you to "finish". You must do this at least 5 times in a row....so that when ever you start a sexual experience she is so dang excited because you rock her in bed. Once you get her to this Pavlov dog response....sex=horney, you will then get to start getting quickies and thats okay because you will have embedded this super high response from her. So you don't have to be a work horse all the time unless you want to and that will be a very satiated woman.
I have learned that a happy horney woman makes a very happy man. A man who does not put his women first in her orgasms and pleasure will not have as good a sex life. Some men think they don't need to prime their women especially one with large penises. They think they are enough! ha ha ha....I find myself not getting very wet without clitoral stimulation and then sex becomes painful. Then it becomes a negative experience and i dont want to go there again! OUCH | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 2:43:24 PM | | I havent done one more than 3 times yet that doesnt have a routine,,,,it is what it is,,,,, | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 5:18:31 PM | | I am in a relationship with a nice guy but the sex is the worst. We are in our middle 40's, neither of us is new to this. We have only had sex twice and it just didn't do it for me. Is it because the chemistry isnt right? He just doesnt seem to bring out my passion for him.....maybe there is no passion and that is the problem....but dang it he is such a nice guy! | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 6:46:29 PM | I remember a guy I dated recently. He would touch my neck in a certain way, touch my arm in a certain way, etc--his remark was women like this don't they--my remark back was--shouldn't you be more concerned about what I like instead of what the masses like? | |
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| Sex and the way you do it.
Posted: 1/11/2008 6:54:56 PM |
By inserting my _____ in her _____.
Umm, finger/ear? Socks/drawer? Credit card/wallet? | |
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