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 JaxFlorida
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 1
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giving a man your phone numberPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
When should a woman give a man her phone number?

What would a man think if a woman emailed him first, complimented how much she liked his profile and they seemed to have alot in common? What if the woman was seriously trying to get know him? Would it seem too forward or should she wait to see if the man responds back to her email. Not everyone is online everyday or checking for messages.

In the past I have used Phone Dating Services and it was normal or even expected that the woman left her number. I'm not sure how it's supposed to be with on-line dating.
Thanks for opinions.
 Duckman_2
Joined: 5/15/2007
Msg: 2
giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 10:56:21 AM
Give it to him in your first e-mail...

Then he can google it and find out where you live...

Could be a bad way to find out he isn't quite the wonderful man you thought he was...
 jamasian777
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 3
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giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 10:59:35 AM
when you feel comfortable with him...

The way i look at it, when u meet someone at a bar or coffee shop within the first 5 minutes you will probably give him your number if you like his style, the chemistry might be there but u dont know anything about him at that point!! Well, that is my justification for giving this online thing a go! Here you at least get to know someone a little better than just say what he/she looks like and drives so i guess in my thinking it reduces alot of negatives to the latter. Hope that helps and makes sense.

ohh to answer your other questions... If i got an email where the woman emailed me first i'd be flattered and investigate some more. And, NO it wouldn't be forward to be more aggressive ...flattering is my first impression but then again im easily impressed hahaha.
 Fish-Argh
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 4
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giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 11:00:08 AM
I've actually had this happen to me multiple times. I get a message from someone I've never spoken to before and there's a phone number. Sorry to say, but I don't even bother reading the entire phone number before I hit delete. I read the message, and gone. You have no idea what type of guy I am, nor I what type of woman you are.

My best advice. Wait atleast a few messages to see if there's a spark. Make sure you're both looking for the same thing, you're both interested in one another, then do the number thing.
 JaxFlorida
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 5
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giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 11:01:25 AM
Thanks. Never thought about it that way. As I mentioned in the past I used Phone Dating Services and nothing bad happened.
 Smilin_bob
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 6
giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 11:09:09 AM
I have had a woman send me her phone number in an initial contact. I didn't accept her offer to 'call me right away'.

If I get a phone number after a couple of emails, I feel honored. It would mean there is a tiny bit of trust built up. It also means an invitation to further communciate with that person.

I would tend to think that a phone number in the first email would signal 'desperate' no matter how sincere the opening email is. I would feel more open to receiving a phone number after some email exchanges. I guess a question that goes through my mind is : How do YOU feel about getting a phone number in an initial email? If you find it unacceptable, then do not do it yourself.

Just my two cents.
 JaxFlorida
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 7
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giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 11:15:28 AM
I appreciate everyones responses but what about this thought:
In an email anyone can say anything. A personal conversation can say more about somebodys' personality than someone typing what you might want to hear. Even the sound of the voice can tell you more about them. You can tell if they have an angry disposition, are they too impatient to let you say anything and other things.
 DJMac
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 8
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giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 11:16:14 AM
I have had occasions when I met a woman at some public place, we get to talking and have a good time. When the night is over they gave me their phone number. Myself personally I like it, and if a woman gives a man her number its obvious she is interested. When that happens the ball is in the mans court.
 plumgood45
Joined: 11/13/2007
Msg: 9
giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 11:21:14 AM
The problem with giving out your number so carelessly is that you can be tracked down to where you live and that may not be such a good thing in today's world. Best to have some contact through e-mails and then ask for his number. If he is interested he will give it to you. Most men like being asked, at least the ones I have talked to.
 GrayBoston
Joined: 10/16/2007
Msg: 10
giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 11:21:31 AM
In this modern world, it is completely up to you to decide how you want to do it. There is not need to try to follow arbitrary rules. There's no reason at all why you could not take the lead.

That said, the internet world is not one where I would not quickly give out my phone number. I would give out my instant messenger screen name until I really felt like I knew and trusted the person. Chat can be a really good way to know each other. I dislike the messenger here, and maintain screen names on the major messenger services. Giving out our screen name is a really nice in-between step.

-Gray
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 11
giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 11:25:22 AM

When should a woman give a man her phone number?

When and If he asks for it.
 JaxFlorida
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 12
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giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 11:29:00 AM
I like the idea of a messenger service (live chat). Which ones do people use the most?
 Fish-Argh
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 13
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giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 11:34:04 AM
AIM-Aol Instant Messanger
Yahoo Messager.
MSN.

Those are the 3 most popular. I mainly only use AIM and Yahoo, though. Most people I know have atleast 2 of those 3.
 Event Planner
Joined: 12/1/2006
Msg: 14
giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 11:51:38 AM
The best thing to do is to get the man's phone number and call him. You can dial star 67 ( *67 ) and then his number and this will prevent his caller id from showing your number.

Example : *67 - 555 - 555 - 1234

This is the best way for a Woman to protect herself from abuse from a Man who don't know when or how to act like one.
 straykat9
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 15
giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 12:41:41 PM
They can't trace your cell phone, but I would wait and only give it to show I am genuine and really interested.
 Ave Caesar
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 16
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giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 12:45:02 PM
In my admittedly limited experience in dating sites, two of the the three women who were very eager to meet me and gave me their number right away turned out to be women I wish I hadn't met. They were either desperate or pushy and rude.

Anyway, I prefer not to talk on the phone until after we've met. . It's awkward otherwise.
 NatureVision
Joined: 9/13/2007
Msg: 17
giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 12:51:05 PM

You can dial star 67 ( *67 ) and then his number and this will prevent his caller id from showing your number.


While this is good advice, it can prevent the call from going through. I (and most people I know) have subscribed to anonymous call blocking on their land lines at home. This blocks any incoming call without caller ID information (there are certain exceptions) and definitely rejects any call from someone using *67. Just as *67 is good protection, so is anonymous call blocking. I don't get any calls from someone trying to hide their identity.
 chickalina
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 18
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giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 3:41:27 PM
Personally I would ask him first. Not that I don't trust you guys but that's how to tell what is really going on. If he gives you his cell number ask for home number and if he comes up with a bunch of excuses then you know he is probably married - hey guys you can do the same thing.
 strangerstill
Joined: 12/20/2004
Msg: 19
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giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 3:44:05 PM
Personally I prefer to give my phone number to the woman. That way I'm sure she really wants to talk to me if she calls and she can block her number so I can't see it till she's comfortable about things.
 outtamycave
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 20
giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 4:34:23 PM
I recommend taking some time to get to know him before giving out information like a phone number. As another poster mentioned, you do not want someone stalking you, which is always a possibility. Better to screen out the really obvious nut cases before moving things to the phone, or in person meeting.

Men should follow the same advice as well, since there are a lot of female nut cases out there as well.
 taz in love
Joined: 12/11/2007
Msg: 21
giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 4:47:37 PM
i have tried numerous times to find my address via my phone number online,,,unless a man pays for it, he won't get it. even then, my phone is attached to a PO box address,,,,,

Even then, if he comes to my house, I will stab him if need be.

 Random Entry
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 22
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giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 4:48:13 PM
OP, email, IM, then use the anonymous phone there. You click on it in the IM window and it assures privacy, safety, and comfort for both parties.

I would not give anyone your home number for a good long time. 6 dates, minimum. But then I've been badly burned there. Long before POF ever existed I talked to a woman over the computer for six months or so. Eventually we had dinner at her place. It didn't work out and I got phone calls for YEARS afterwards. Now I think she was mostly taking out her ex husband's divorce and breast cancer issues on me but still. We talked in such depth that she actually knew most of my favorite TV shows so that when This Old House would come on, boom, I'd get hang up calls. Every single favorite show of mine and boom, hang up calls. She had waaaAaay too much time on her hands. I mean I can't make this stuff up!

Disposable cell phones are a cheap investment as far as I am concerned and that's what I'd recommend. Then you don't have any issues with the person tracking you down or calling your home if things don't work out.
 fouthempire
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 23
giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 5:43:19 PM
Wow, this just happen to me!
I got three women's phone number in the last week. The funny thing is that I didn't ask for any of them, they offered. I was kinda put off because it seemed too forward. I was hoping to talk via emial a few times before we moved to the phone. But seeing as I never heard from them again, I dont think they were really interested.
 strangerstill
Joined: 12/20/2004
Msg: 24
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giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 5:44:50 PM
I prefer that they call me because the $3.99 per minute is just too damned much.
 RoseInTN
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 25
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giving a man your phone number
Posted: 1/12/2008 8:24:42 PM
They can't trace your cell phone, but I would wait and only give it to show I am genuine and really interested.

straykat I used to think this until I looked up my cell phone number on line.

Rose
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