| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 11:51:48 AM | if you have ever been cheated on by an ex or they have run off with another person how did you deal with it let me know
did you feel hurt and betrayed or were you hell bent on revenge ( which is not the answer)
i know myself i find it very hard i find if i try to talk to a female i just cant i open my mouth and nothing comes out if that makes sense
i try to email people on here but dont know what to say im at a total lost for words im only interested in making friends but hey who knows what might happen | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 11:59:38 AM | | Mending a broken heart is all about distraction. I take baths, exercise or sleep. When you think about this person, consider yourself lucky. Obviously you dodged a bullet. Oh, and try to never think of them with another person. This type of thinking just makes your imagination run wild. Good luck. | |
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Posted: 1/14/2008 12:01:36 PM | Sure...just take comfort in the fact that the new guy is getting your leftovers and eating your gew...
And don't go back and eat his gew.... | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 12:04:33 PM | | All of the them, very betrayed , hurt, anger, loss of my best friend (or so I thought at that time). The dreaded wow , no body will want me ,(at my age ).The list could go on, but really time does heal a lot , and believe in yourself.. Best of luck | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 12:10:52 PM | | Biggest thing I learned: It's *their* humiliation, not yours. It's *their* selfishness. It was never really about you. It was about them, and only them and how they didn't have the humanity to care about who they hurt or the pain they caused. Sadness, loss, fear, humiliation, anger all run their course. At the end of the day though, you have to realize that what they threw away was beyond them anyway and you hold your head up and move on. | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 12:15:28 PM | im going threw they samething ..i feel like i lost my best friend. my friend told me about this site. im just trying to move on he cheated on me and trye to run away with another person then changed his mind but it still hurtto think he would have done that ..revenge i just rather forget about him and move on he wanted me to be his friend i tryed but it just seemed like he wanted another way ..it even hard to talk to men on here but im trying and ill keep trying till i find mr right on here or in public you just need to kee trying and not give up  | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 12:41:12 PM | How did I deal with it? Especially the SECOND time it happened?
Therapy. Lots and lots and lots of therapy. Every day in every way.......... | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 12:49:59 PM | | The best revenge is success, and moving on... some of these psychos dont or try not to let you move on... when it fails with the one they left you for they usually try to come back... I got one now from 3 years ago wanting to hook up again... thing is, I never go back and eat old meat... but I do like to toy with them! | |
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Posted: 1/14/2008 1:00:04 PM | Let's see for low down and dirty, I've got one who slept with my sister and one who found another woman. As for the second time I got duped, I found out about the other woman by seeing his wedding photo in the newspaper. Several months later he called me telling me he made a terrible mistake by marrying her for her money and she was no good in bed. I did something awful. I got him drunk, shaved his pecker bald, put a big red lipstick smiley face on it, took pictures of it, and left him in the motel room. I didn't feel better. I felt worse. I felt so bad, I told people and they told me some of their own horror stories. I guess I felt better knowing I wasn't the only one or the biggest idiot in the world.
I didn't have to be just as low down and dirty and I could have just talked to people to begin with without reducing myself to that. Good for you, for doing exactly that in the first place.
As for the first time I got used, it took me years to talk to my own sister. I would never speak to him again. My sister dumped him for someone else. He married his boss' daughter.
Both of these men were users. Both of them wanted mother wives who support them like children who never grow up. There is a very foul name for a man who wants a mommy he can sleep with. I steer clear of "little boy charm."
Beware of little bo peep. It is the ones who appear as the most helpless that are often the furthest thing from it.
Learning about manipulation is a good idea while you're nursing the knives in your back. Since I don't manipulate, I am blind to people who do.
Really watch out for little bo peep, crying wolf, 2 against one (triangulation), and all kinds of red flags. | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 1:30:16 PM | Friends, family, freinds and my children
Music, movies, prayer, therapy
Envogue has a great song with the line, "if he don't want you, you don't need him."
Better off without a cheater
Saw who he left us for and understanding his motives, seeing how pathetic
Revenge, hmmmmmm, still working on that one - praying on that one - ALOT. I don't think I'm quite there. Kharma needs to get a wiggle-on! I don't think she knows how much of a homewrecker she is. I'm working on myself and my family. Success is the best revenge, but I want to be happy for me. | |
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fay98
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Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 11 | |
| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 1:33:11 PM | | After going through all the emotions you are talking about I realized there was one more. Pride! My pride was hurt. Once I learned this all got better. Number 1 is time, of course, you have to see her to pick up kids, etc. etc. That will be the hard part. Good luck and don't rush into anything new with someone else because it will never work until these emotions are gone. | |
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Posted: 1/14/2008 1:49:40 PM | How did cope with it/ First I cried,then got angry.Met his new "love".,Laughed. She is over weight. Then I remembered all the times that were good.,forgot hte bad times. Put a smile on my face and things got better. I am still single,saddly:I want a man in my life,I guess it will happen when it happens. I forgave him and I have no hate. Just can't think why he gave me up for her. But it happened and I am happy with whom I am. | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 2:35:33 PM | its nice to hear from so many friendly people
the most hurtful thing in the whole lot of what happened not just it happened on boxing day morning 10.30 is that im quite a shy quiet man who done the best i could but isnt it amazing how the one who done nothing wrong loses everything the worse part is watching my 2 boys who are both daddys boys so miserable and upset and i can not do absolutely nothing about it that is the worse part but im a good fighter and the 2 of them had it planned and im not going out without a fight definately because my boys want me to fight for them | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 4:12:19 PM | | Just be glad you're no longer dating a scumy cheater. All feelings of sadness or anger are normal and as long as you keep yourself busy with things you enjoy (friends, activities, hobbies etc) it shouldn't take too long before you wonder why you were ever upset in the first place. | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 4:24:04 PM |
The best revenge is success, and moving on...
Great advice.Sure it hurts, and makes you feel a little gun shy. but it will make you stronger in the long run. And happier. | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 4:25:48 PM | | Well, let us see..... My first girlfriend dumped me for one of my co-workers. He knocked her up and refused to marry her. She had her child, then came crying back to me. Nope. Later babe. You had your chance with me. | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 4:37:40 PM | | niceboy: After 25 years of marriage I found out my then husband had been cheating for 3 years so I filed for divorce. There were many emotions involved: anger, hurt, hate, revenge, and the list could go on forever. Then I figured the best revenge was to let her have him. She only stayed with him another 2 months because he wouldn't marry her. What he did to me only made me stronger with a down side that is I find it hard to trust my own feelings where people are involved. I tend to stay on the safe side. Just put one foot in front of the other and take it a day at the time. Really the best revenge is to live well. Good luck. | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 4:50:39 PM | you wrote>if you have ever been cheated on by an ex or they have run off with another person how did you deal with it let me know
This may sound cold. but...ya just have to suck it up and go on.
I would think anyone who has been cheated on would feel hurt or betrayed.
I think this kind of pain is what makes so many distrustful and standoffish as they age.
Just basically fear.
Ya can't let this kind of fear set the basis for your future relationships.
Time is all it takes. Don't dwell on it all the time. Live your life. | |
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| how did/do you cope -keep busy
Posted: 1/14/2008 5:11:22 PM | Dear niceboyblue,
I can't tell you how many times I felt hurt and betrayed . All you can say is it wasn't the right time and most of the time the person was immature in my experiences. That was when I was in my 20's and thirties. Also timing was not right. Jobs and such.
Be careful and interview the person for a while. Hang in there as I have and get involved in outdoor clubs.
lh | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 5:14:35 PM | | you obviously didnt have broken heart else a hot bath would not have mended it | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 5:14:42 PM | I've not been cheated on, but I spent 2 years sharing a house with an ex (separate rooms and 3 other housemates, we split up 3 days after moving in)
From time to time she would be getting ready to go out with her latest bloke (and me with my latest girlfriend, of course); those times when it hurt, I simply threw myself into my work. I was a student at the time, so I applied myself to my course work, making myself scarce by working in the lab.
So basically, and as others have already said - distract yourself. As for meeting other people, it'll come in time; just relax (see previous point) and be yourself. | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/14/2008 5:32:33 PM | | So sorry to hear about your situation. There's no easy answer or way to get over it. I wish ther was! I was in a long term relationship with someone, we lived together, and I found out that he cheated. It's not something that he would ever admit (even to this day) because he knows that it is not something I would ever accept. Forget the fact that I had the proof in my hand. UM YEAH! So unfortunately, that meant I had to get closure all on my own. He would never give me that. It's not easy, and I still shake my head and feel sad for the loss of all that once was. Which was actually pretty amazing. The best revenge is moving on and being happy in your own life. Sounds cliche but it's true. I know that he will never find anyone who loved him like I did, and I know he's tried. He's still alone, lots of skanky girls in between. And in the meantime, I have gone on to date wonderful guys and have been treated like gold. Men that I would NEVER have met if I had stayed with Mr. Cheaty Pants. So stay strong. Focus on yourself. And one day, love will knock on your door again. Best of luck! | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/17/2008 7:48:05 AM | | Whoever cheated on sunshinegirl79 - needs their funking head tested, and maybe an eye test is in order!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| how did/do you cope
Posted: 1/17/2008 8:39:17 AM | My ex was cheating on me the 8 years we were together. He was engaged to me a Russian and dating some other woman at the same time! He's on severals personals and has been. He's on this site too! Cheated on me while I was at work or not with him. He's friendly and good with tools! LOL The best thing he does is cheat and lie.
I had hope he would change but I realize the only thing he'll change is the woman! What I did to get over my ex is to date several MEN that make me happy, Men that I don't have to worry about! Know this when someone cheats and lies it is THEIR PROBLEM it has nothing to do with you, it's them! Cheaters are not worth our pain or time. Keep busy read self-help books and become a better person and date, date.
Good Luck!
Dancerider | |
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