| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 1:08:39 PM | I have been dating/chatting online since May 2006 and below is what I have learned from online dating . I am not only speaking of males, but females as well ,because some of this fits both sexes . Figured I would say that before this thread becomes a "Battle of the Sexes "
1] My idea of "average " or a "a few extra lbs" and others ideas of "average and " a few extra lbs " is two very different things . If you are as round ,as you are tall ,then Darlin , you are not "average "or "a few extra lbs ". If you have so many chins that your head is shaped like a pineapple ,you are not "average " or " a few extra lbs" My profile states clearly BBW { a term I hate .See # 4} , but at least I am honest.
2] Those who claim to be VERY oral in most cases suffer from ED . Just speaking from my experience ,and not meant to slam the whole male species . Sorry sex to me is a very important part of a relationship . I ranks in the Top 3 in my opinion .No matter how many people say " Oh it don't matter or "There is different ways to please a partner " ,it just isnt how it works in the real world . It's different if ED develops once you have been with someone awhile ,but I would never want to start out a relationship like that . Sorry ,I like meat with my taters . LOL
3] When someone states they are 5ft 10 ,my next question has become " Is that 5 ft 10 for real or by AOL inches ? Why lie about your height because you evenually get called on it ? I met someone who claimed to be 5 ft 10 and he was maybe 5 ft 6. I am 5 ft 8{ almost } and I was taller then him . Not that height matters to me personally , but the fact people lie about it does .
4] The term BBW does not necessarily mean "Big Beautiful Woman" . I have seen " Big Beautiful Women " and I have seen " Big Beastly Women " . Same with "Big Handsome Men" because I have seen some " Big Hideous Men " .
5] Women tend to jump on the "He's a player " bandwagon ,when in reality it is really a matter of a lack of chemestry ,when he doesn't call back or quits emailing .While I am honest and tell someone when it just isnt there, but some doesn't handle it that way . Men do this as well ,but not to the extreme that women do it .
6] Negative profiles . I have read so many negative profiles and I shake my head wondering " Why are they on a singles site ?" I have had my fill of reading about " No Players" or " No money grubbers" need apply .
7] Those who lie about being married seem to be rampant on here . The ones that crack me up is the ones who claim to be separated , but now dating . Separated still means married , in my opinion . If men spent as much time pursuing their wives ,as they did trying to persuade me to drop the panties ,they would have a very loved ,sexually content wife ,which in turn means, they will be a very loved ,sexually content husband . Got to give to get ,is my thought .
8] What does rarely mean ? Folks will go on and on about how they drink "rarely " and yet the first place they want to meet you is at a bar . I have no issue with a drink or two ,but if ya are bellying up to the bar and drinking until closing ,then to me that doesn't mean "rarely .
9] I have learned through online dating that children equals baggage . I don't consider my children baggage, but a gift that God entrusted me with .
10 ] Lying is also rampant online dating . I had a man state in his profile that he owned a home in suburbia , drives a mini van , and is financially secure . In reality ,it really meant, he lived with mother , drives his mothers mini van ,and accesses his mothers bank account ,because he has been unemployed since 1999. It is the need to lie about it that ticks me off so much .
All of my online experiences has not been bad . I have met some incredible people ,who I consider very dear friends ,and I still talk to to this day . I have not given up hope that I will some day find someone special, but I doubt it will be from online . I will say after 19 months of online dating /chatting I have learned a great deal .
So my question is ,what have you learned from online dating/chatting ? Thoughts? | |
|
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 1:24:13 PM | wow, you sure learned a lot.
I learned to not meet anyone who doesnt have full length photos, whose pictures are fuzzy or that says they are a few pounds over.
and.....
to not form any conclsuions about what they are like until you meet them in person.
and one other thing... always know where the exits are in case you need to run... | |
|
| |
| |
nogo3
|
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 5 | |
| |
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 1:42:47 PM | I've learned that online dating is a waste of time... get out there in the real world cuz that's where the nice ones are. (but you might wanna leave your profile up just in case that one-in-a-million shows up) | |
|
| |
| |
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 2:17:12 PM | | Well in my experience its been pretty sad. I keep coming across the wrong guys or the chemistry just isn't there. It doesn't help many guys want to meet soon and I refuse to meet to soon if the guy is from the internet. I'll only talk to him on msn maybe talking on the phone for the first month or 2 then consider meeting if I want to. But lately I haven't bothered meeting guys from here cause there all the same so far. I want a shy man. There hard to find. | |
|
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 2:17:56 PM | I've learned to not be discouraged and let down. I look at it as just just one avenue to meet someone. I'd prefer to meet someone in "the real world" but I've found living in FL that's not always easy. I've also learned that most women don't even respond or will write a little and stop. I wonder how many people on here are seriously looking to date or are even in a position to date? Anyway, I'll keep trying | |
|
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 2:18:43 PM | I've learned that men and women seem to have very different approaches to online dating. When I first start chatting or emailing with a guy, I don't know if I'm interested yet because I have no idea who they are as a person. In my experience, the guys seem to be in a rush from the beginning, will often hand out their phone numbers or hotmail addresses in the first chat or email.
Ironically I often find that when things are just starting to get interesting ... in that I'm getting a sense of the guy's character, that his interest is waning. I haven't figured that part out yet, whether it's the mystery and thrill of the chase that has him so enthralled in the beginning, or is it because he starts to realize there is a flesh and blood person at the other end of the chat/ email - and not some fantasy woman? Or is it because someone else has caught his eye and he has a new person to chase? Or maybe it's just that online dating is by its very nature, an inherently superficial way to get to know someone? | |
|
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 2:29:53 PM | Tons of snobs who have zero common courtesy, such as a simple thank you, no thanks, or whatever.
Its funny to see people who describe themselves as friendly, approachable, etc and they cant even so much as offer a simple kind thoughtful reply.
Plenty of fish?
Plenty of snobs!
| |
|
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 2:43:29 PM | message 12 has a point, this morning i mailed someone and they did not respond.
I thought it an opportunity to get some idea of why and how i can improve my profile, so i wrote again asking what made her decide against responding, i couldnt because i was blocked at the first mail, talk about jaded. | |
|
| |
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 2:46:48 PM |
3] When someone states they are 5ft 10 ,my next question has become " Is that 5 ft 10 for real or by AOL inches ? Why lie about your height because you evenually get called on it ? I met someone who claimed to be 5 ft 10 and he was maybe 5 ft 6. I am 5 ft 8{ almost } and I was taller then him . Not that height matters to me personally , but the fact people lie about it does .
Hah! Oh, that's so TRUE! 
I've learned to give up my expectations. All of 'em..... and just post on the forums.....
 | |
|
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 2:54:00 PM | Online dating works for some but not many.
Women also tend to lie a lot, especially in these areas;
1, "a few extra lbs.", 70-100+ lbs. overweight isn't a few extra lbs. unless you're a Brontosaurus! Face reality, size 14/16+ and only 5' tall is a BBW! There should be an industry standard here, weight to height and this is what you really are. Personally, I like some meat on the bones but I draw the line at size 12.
2, Posting pics that are 10+ yrs. old. We've all seen the main pic that's supposed to get you to look then WHAM, instant aging from Denise Richards to Phyllis Diller.
3, The listed age isn't true, usually it's 42-47 and in the profile or 10 emails down the road they're actually over 50 or some are even in their 60's. Whatever happened to honesty???
AND
4, More baggage than a cruise ship.... I don't care what your ex. did, I'm not that person!
p.s.
If someone isn't honest with me from the beginning, they're history since I've had my share of liars. There's no sense lying, it will always catch up to you! | |
|
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:20:14 PM | ^^^ Perhaps people simply do not want to face reality?
I've learned that if someone tries to set up a date, and then does not respond after trying to contact them by email and text, don't even bother trying anymore = =: | |
|
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:22:54 PM | | What i have learned is alot of people either outright lie or omit critical pieces of the puzzle. Putting does not smoke in a profile does NOT mean TRYING TO QUIT. Divorced in a profile does not mean we are still married, he left me. Etc. I can be open and honest. I have nothing to hide. All one has to do is ask me. Why the others i have met can not do the same? Good question............ | |
|
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:25:24 PM | I have learned to blow up the picture BEFORE responding to an email.
Also that when a man writes a profile and DOESN'T say he is single or divorced it usually means he is married.
~T~ | |
|
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:31:44 PM | What have I learned from online dating?
#1 No matter what thread someone starts in the forums, SOMEONE is going to post something about people saying they are 5'10" or over. (I am 6'4" and no.... height has NEVER helped get me a date)
#2 The only thing that is about "dating" on a "dating" site.... is that word on the home page. Forums.... a plenty. Dates... no.
| |
|
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:35:03 PM | I have learned that a lot of people are SO lonely, that they will post threads about how bothered they are about what others put in their profiles.
That people are actually fecking stupid enough to ask questions like:
will women date a tall man, or what does "thank you" mean in a reply?
That a little over half are professional victims.
That there will always be at least one dumb a$$ that is surprised to find out people lie on their profiles and or post false pic's..
That most people will never realize that 90% of their misery in dating as well as in life is of their own making.
That a lot of people should be in therapy, rather then on-line dating.
That there are a lot of rocket surgeons and brain scientists signed up!
~Belly~ | |
|
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:43:25 PM |
what have you learned from online dating/chatting ? I didn't write this but it expresses how I feel about the online dating scene.
I don’t believe the word “friends” can be used to describe email relationships with people I barely know. Humans are gregarious creatures and fare better belonging to networks of family, community, spiritual groups, clubs, and so forth - all of which are sustained through face-to-face contact.
The bottom line is that the more time spent online, the less time is spent having true relationships complete with challenges, vulnerability, risks and profundity. These are not real-world relationships with depth. On-line relationships are shadows and facsimiles which ultimately amount to little more than casual, superficial experiences.
Because of the unlimited profiles, I found myself talking with person after person, asking them questions that I already knew the answers to. On many levels I’ve substituted and even avoided personal interactions with people because of the artificial and superficial means of communication. It threatened to dilute my perception of true social interaction.
In some form or another, the internet has hindered my investment in the relationships with those genuine people hiding behind the idealistic profiles they’ve made of themselves. Let’s face it, I don’t perceive myself in the same way someone else perceives me.
From now on, I only want to know people for whom they truly are; not for what an internet site says they are. I'm going with reality: getting out there in the real world. | |
|
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:52:02 PM | Ive learned that most people online arent really looking for a relationship. Nine out of ten men, who email me, ask me if I want to talk on messenger. I am not interested in chatting on messenger for weeks, I'm looking for someone to date!
Also, if you meet them one time, some men automatically assume that you are together. They want to call you all the time, and one guy asked me to remove my profile. This after one date! | |
|
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:53:08 PM | | I suppose I've been lucky with the description of themselves. I do screen fairly well before I get too far. The biggest illusion I get would have to be that their baggage isn't packed as well as they lead me to think. Its pretty easy to hide for awhile, but when it spills out, it's everywhere. I seriously do not think most people should be searching just because that have haunts that they can't subside. I've been there as I'm sure a lot of you have, but if you are still in love or even attached with feeling, then you cannot move forward. I can't imagine meeting someone that ends up to be nothing like they described themselves. No telling what would be in store for that trip! | |
|
| What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:55:07 PM |
I've learned to give up my expectations. All of 'em..... and just post on the forums...
OP, without getting into all the rhetoric in why your expectations are not meet I will say
a human being is more then just a pretty face and a good profile. We are more than that and to think other wise is...
If your talk with some friends that you've met here great,
now that's in it's self is a good thing.
I take this place and like a lot of the other's
is just a way-station, a rest stop or intermission,
a short interlude in there life and knowing
the rest of the real world is just outside. | |
|
Home
login 
