| Sharing his interests..
Posted: 1/15/2008 9:43:18 AM | Our profiles list various interests.. some are kinda generic.. and some are rather specific..
Sooo.. perhaps you find someone with an interest in your pastime.. or maybe not..
My question is: how far.. as a female.. can you see yourself getting into whatever it is
that is his main interest..? Assume you have NO clue as to anything about it..
Jim | |
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| Sharing his interests..
Posted: 1/15/2008 10:20:00 AM | Depends on the interest.
I don't think I'd ever get into video games. With that said, I dated a man who was into going to car races. I enjoyed that and followed it pretty closely, but I never thought about it once before I met him. | |
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| Sharing his interests..
Posted: 1/15/2008 10:30:07 AM | | Depends on the interest as well. My ex was super involved in politics and I started becoming more political as a result of it. Politics was always something on the back of my mind. I was always of the belief that everyone should educate themselves on different political decisions and make an effort to get out and vote, or if you don't think there's an acceptable party/candidate to get involved in some other way (letter writing, spoiling your ballot etc etc). But I never really got involved outside reading the paper/watching the news/staying informed on different issues and learning about the candidates and voting. But when I dated him I started going to different political events and got more interested and even took a few political studies classes. I had another ex who was super interested in cars, something I had little interest in before (ok I have a weakness for European luxury cars, but that's more about how they look and stuff and the fact that they're usually of higher quality than most North American economy cars and what not, than I care about anything under the hood). He was more interesting in modifying his car and illegal street racing. None of this interested me at all and I'm still not interested in that type of thing. In fact it's the complete opposite. I actually despise the idea of taking a sunfire (or other cheap car) and doing stuff for it. | |
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| Sharing his interests..
Posted: 1/15/2008 10:55:12 AM | OP.. I will take an interest in it. But that doesn't mean I have to partake of it anymore than he has to partake in my interests. I mean I love to heli-ski. The last guy I dated took on look at an exhibition on T.V. and told me I was nuts. But didnt' stop me from doing it.
He was interested in stamp collecting. Something that to me bored my socks off. To compromise I learned enough about the subject, to talk about it with him. But would I ever get excited of some rare stamp find. No just wasn't happening.
I believe a couple have to have common grounds and interests but they dont' have to live in each others' hip pockets. Keeping some interests separate is healthy in a relationship. | |
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| Sharing his interests..
Posted: 1/15/2008 11:26:08 AM | That would depend on the nature of the interest you are refering to.
If it's not something potentially dangerous like skydiving,or some sort of weird sexual fetish,then I will gladly want to learn about someone's interests/hobbies.
It's all a matter of personal preference.
I don't think a lady off of POF would meet you,if she didn't know what she was getting herself into. | |
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| Sharing his interests..
Posted: 1/15/2008 11:30:03 AM | It definitely depends on the interest. It would be nice to get at least a little involved in something he was very interested in. Works both ways of course - ie. we both make an effort to try (or at least respect) each other's interests.  | |
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| Sharing his interests..
Posted: 1/15/2008 12:18:36 PM | As all have said it depends what it is.
If I find it boring I'll be off to go do something else. | |
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| Sharing his interests..
Posted: 1/15/2008 12:42:08 PM | I've posed this question before on POF, but didn't get alot of response. I'm glad to see some people understand what I meant by feigning interest in something you could really care less about.
Sometimes, in the early stages of a relationship we do pretend to be more open to others' interest, but as I've gotten older, I'm more honest and discrete about what I prefer to spend my time doing.
I think it's absolutely great to have separate interests. I don't wanna climb a tree to stalk a deer but I'll be happy for ya when ya bag one.
I have alot of very mature interests....if there is such a thing. I like things middle aged people like...keep it simple.
There aren't alot of men in Texas, who don't like horses, so I'm lucky in that regard. If they don't know alot about them, and they want to learn without bein' a show off, I'm happy to share my horse. It's fun. If they don't...that's okay too....just don't complain that I stink when I come home from the barn.
I don't wanna set in a bar and watch football or nascar either....I got stuff to do.
I have a feeling I'm gonna be single a loooooooong time...but that's cool.
I think it's great to be "supportive" of others' interest without sharing them.
Besides...I might be better at darts than they are...don't wanna make 'em feel bad !
But seriously I was born with out that competitive gene....and the eye/hand coordination one as well. | |
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| Sharing his interests..
Posted: 1/15/2008 12:50:47 PM | | I don't believe that you have to share all interests, just have a couple of things that you both like to do together. I'm a firm believer in "my" time, "friends and family" time, and "our" time. I loathe most sports, but there are are a lot of things that I like to do/am open to doing that men also enjoy. I will never be found on the couch watching NASCAR or football. I wouldn't mind if they do on occasion (I'd definitely be off doing something else), but I don't think I'd be happy with a die hard sports fan. | |
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| Sharing his interests..
Posted: 1/15/2008 1:03:26 PM | Well... let's see... many, many moons ago I learned to clean and gap spark plugs, hunted snakes, tagged along through 9 holes of golf in 100-something degree temps without benefit of a golf cart, and observed martial arts. I've even listened to enough bad guitar picking to make my ears bleed. I love music, especially live music where people play their own rendition instead of trying to sound like the original recording, but there's just no kind/polite way to say "You suck! Please, please stop!"
Yeah... I'd say I've done my sahre. | |
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| Sharing his interests..
Posted: 1/15/2008 1:20:58 PM |
My question is: how far.. as a female.. can you see yourself getting into whatever it is
that is his main interest..? Assume you have NO clue as to anything about it..
Probabaly not. Unless it's something I've never ever HEARD of and I find it interesting, him notwithstanding. I'm not the type to submerge my "self" to be in any relationship--I'm polite about the things he loves, but that doesn't mean *I* have to love it. | |
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| Sharing his interests..
Posted: 1/15/2008 1:24:09 PM | One of the best things about dating is learning new things. I don't have to partake in the interest or fall in love with it but I always try to learn enough to at least be able to converse with him about it.
If I am interested in a guy I want to learn about his interests and I hope that he would care enough about me to learn about what I am interested in.
Having common interests is nice, it let's you spend time together doing something you both enjoy. Having separate interests is also beneficial, it let's you keep your space and come back to the relationship with stories and thoughts to share. | |
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| Sharing his interests..
Posted: 1/15/2008 1:31:59 PM | | As other posters have said, it depends on the interest. I like learning and actually prefer men who will introduce me to new activities and/or hobbies. If we're both open to it, I might become very involved in his interest, especially while it is new and novel. | |
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| Sharing his interests..
Posted: 1/15/2008 1:49:14 PM | | I'll explore and try if within my limits. I'm always into learning and trying new things. But it has to be two ways. He should make an effort to get into activities that I enjoy. | |
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| Sharing his interests..
Posted: 1/16/2008 7:15:37 AM | Yep, been there done that. With my X together for 20 years.
Guns and weapons - who knew? I'm a deadeye and have good groupings
War re-enacting - Civil and starting WWII - have the corsets and hoop skirts, dresses and hairgarb, books and proper impressions. A ballgown and dancing were also part of the operation. I cook anything over a campfire, sleep in a canvas tent and coffee just isn't coffee without a little gunpowder and bugs in it. ( I was playing "Little House on the Prarie" - one of my interests)
Battlefields - yep walked alot of them with experts and books and maps and walked how battles enfolded.
Action and War movies - yep translate all the german lines that are not subtitled, know how to look for improper military and intelligence procedures, and know that many airplanes, tanks, cars, guns "can't do that in reality". Know most of my ranks...
Tools - yep know a mitered corner, dado blade, biscuits, routers, table saw, oak, maple...have bought power drills, orbital sanders...wood putty
Now, did he participate in my hobbies and interests? I got to do those mostly on my own. Do you/men here with your SO? WITHOUT grumbling or being a grumpy martyr? | |
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| Sharing his interests..
Posted: 1/16/2008 8:45:12 AM |
I don't think I'd ever get into video games.
Sure you could. I worked in the video games industry for a while (and then decided I liked having my soul better than working in video games) and I've learned that anyone and everyone can get into them - the trick is grabbing the 2-3 that are most suited to a particular person to get them started with.
It's like showing someone how to read, or appreciate art, or anything else. Find what they'll like, and then let them explore the medium and expand their tastes. You'll never like all games, but I've never had a problem finding at least a couple that I could sit down and play with just about anyone :)
Maybe you'll dig Dance Dance Revolution, or Guitar Hero, or one of "The Sims" titles, or something more basic, like an adaptation of a board game (Settlers of Caatan comes to mind). Heck, there's even a video game version of "Uno" that's a LOT of fun to play with me and a friend here at my place, playing against other people online.
I have noticed that a lot of guys aren't willing to expand their own interest to games their women might enjoy. If he's trying to sit her down for some Grand Theft Auto or Halo first time out, well.....men sometimes aren't the smartest of creatures on God's green earth  | |
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| Sharing his interests..
Posted: 1/16/2008 11:20:52 AM | Seeeee.....
They're ya go, a difference of interests I could never get past. You'll never see me playin' a video game.....yet some men truly believe they'll change your mind.
(sunny sighs) I'll keep my idle hands busy some how. Maybe with an embroidery hoop, thread and needle.
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