| Common Courtesy
Posted: 1/15/2008 3:21:07 PM | I have been on this site now for awhile, actively and not. It's probably the best dating site that I have ever used. However, there is one thing that some of the members do on here that really frustrates me, almost to the point of discouragement. But it has nothing to do with the site or how it is administered. I was wondering if there were others that may have had the same experience and perhaps might be able to provide me with some insight on the matter.
I have sent many initial contact mails on here...exactly how many, I am not sure. In all of them, I have tried my best to be polite, respectful and brief. Now, here is the kicker. Of all the e-mails that I have sent, I have received actual replies from approximately 5% of the recipients (I am being generous). What is with that? Come now, a person could not possibly be THAT busy that thery could not, at the very least, reply with a "no thanks" or a "get back to you later" response. It would be the decent and respectful thing to do, in my opinion. On a couple of occasions, I noted on a profile that the person states they receive alot of e-mail, so to expect de;lays in responding. That, I can understand and appreciate...at least it's a "heads up" to someone thinking of contacting them. To be honest, it actually makes me feel like there are some decent people left out there when I actually DO get a reply...even in the negative.  Has common courtesy gone by the way-side here on P.E.I.? It seems that way, sadly. | |
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| Common Courtesy
Posted: 1/16/2008 5:07:34 AM | | The same has happened to me. I wonder if the message gets looked at, the person decides to respond later but it is deleted before the person gets back to it. A reply would be very nice, even if negative. | |
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| Common Courtesy
Posted: 1/17/2008 10:07:19 AM | Courtesy doesn't seem to be all that common really. Not just here in "good old PEI", but throughout - Most - Internet sites. This subject comes up a lot. Some people would rather no response than one that sounds of rejection. Some of us would like to hear some kind of reply. I'm about 50/50 - The polite responses I receive are always welcome. The nasty ones? I'd rather they just delete and move on. Honestly - I'd rather nothing at all than some of the rudeness that comes with the anonymity (or the illusion of it) that the net provides.
I figure if I take the time to drop a note and the person I send it to doesn't respond - that in itself tells me they are not my kind of person - be that Friend or potential 'date'.
Some people are just as impolite to their 'friends' as they are to those they are trying to impress. Interesting species aren't we...
A.S.is
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| Common Courtesy
Posted: 1/18/2008 3:27:30 PM | | I myself get disappointed if I dont get a reply too because there is usually alot of thought in my emails to someone initially. I try to read their profile and make some sort of reference to it. What gets me is going to see if sommeone has opened it to find out they havent and also deleted it. I spend all that time thinking of an original email and it doesnt get read. | |
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| Common Courtesy
Posted: 1/20/2008 6:18:23 PM | | i feel perhaps if people who are contacted would really stop and consider that this person has taken the time and thot to do so ...well they at least deserve a line or two back and all rudeness , even in thot, should be left out. at this point in our lives who needs negative feedback. a simple thanks for your note , good luck fishing.....like you say...some common courtesy. | |
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| Common Courtesy
Posted: 2/20/2008 8:52:32 PM | Common Courtesy - 
I joined on the 16th of Feb., 2008, and I am enjoying all the new things I am learning on here. When we are on a forum or dating site like this one - we do have to realize that not everyone is going to be interested in you (me). We have to be prepared for the rejection but also "excited"  >>about the new friends we meet. 
I have to say I did have some disappointments, whereby, I did get the nerve up to send a note to some gentlemen and "one" was read and deleted, this does tend to hurt a tiny bit but hey! it is their loss. I have also had some great success in connecting to a couple of wonderful men who have been extremely sweet and we continue to chat back and forth. 
I do feel that it would be common courtesy to send a little note back, even if they have to make up a little "white lie" in order not to hurt anyone. (better than just simply ignoring good people). 
Sorry, too long-winded, I'll be more careful next time. Happy  | |
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| Common Courtesy
Posted: 3/17/2008 8:59:55 AM | Just another thought on the subject - Perhaps it is a case of "what goes around comes around". There are lots of people who get on here complaining about not getting responses and how rude "strangers" are for not answering their notes, and yet those same people answer less than 5% of the notes they get themselves! lmao .
Kinda like the pot and the kettle story.
I think it's rude not to send at least a brief response, I think it even worse when people don't respond to Friends. But then, for some - that word is used flippantly and the people they encounter are disposable if there is nothing in it for them, they use the word 'friend' when perhaps the meaning is lost on them.
I find that MOST of the emails I send out are responded to. I also find that the things that complainers most complain about are the things they themselves are guilty of.
But .. that's just my opinion.
A.S.is
... now I gotta go weed my garden ..
To be honest, it actually makes me feel like there are some decent people left out there when I actually DO get a reply...even in the negative. Has common courtesy gone by the way-side here on P.E.I.? It seems that way, sadly. I so totally agree with that comment. | |
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| Common Courtesy
Posted: 3/20/2008 8:30:06 PM | "news flash"  the two gentlemen that I mentioned who were so sweet and I chatted to for a couple of weeks off and on with ended up not being so sweet.. "Scammers" trying to take advantage of me. Yes, they are now blocked  but I have to say I was really disappointed in the fact that I finally connected with men which I truly was happy to get to know only to come to "red flag" days. They were the type that were "too good to be true" sure thing, unfortunately and wasted my time.
Sorry, I know I am off track a bit so I will hop back on track here.
The "Common courtesy issue".
I've tried something new and not sure how it will work. On one of the sites I am on where you post "life experiences" in different catagories I made one that simply said "Don't read this one first, read the others and come back here last". Then in that last post I posted that I would appreciate a response be it negative or positive so that I can delete those that are truly not interested in getting to know me . I also indicated that I would respond to ALL emails.
Carollee123 | |
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| Common Courtesy
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:42:30 PM | The problem may only look like it's a 'common curtesy' issue, what it might be is a 'memory loss' issue. Let's face it, this site is so huge that we all have a vast number of people to pick & choose from so when someone e-mails one of us, we might easily overlook that GEM because we have the Kid In The Candy Store syndrome and can't make up our minds, and forget to answer the ONE who actually contacted US.
I honestly try to answer every e-mail I get. It's not so hard, I don't get drowned with mail, but I do tend to go for weeks on end without checking e-mail. When I do check in, I reply to any mail I've received, happily, and politely.
People come in all varieties, so rude & careless attitudes probably do account for some of the unread/unresponded stuff that happens to our e-mails sometimes, but it's not always like that, keep trying. There are so many more interesting and nicer people in POF land to be found, just keep looking.
IF you're looking for a chat buddy, I've just opened the door to my mailbox, drop in sometime! | |
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| Common Courtesy
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:28:38 PM | There is absolutely nNo reason to be sooo rude. Afterall, aren't we all just people trying to connect to other people. Wjhat happened to SIMPLE COMMON COUTESY????
The CORRECT way to handle an email from someone you are NOT interested in would be to simply say "Gee, I'm not interested" It is certainly NOT going to cause someone to jump out the window!!!!! Can't we all just respond human to human???
Just because this is the internet there is no reason to forget ALL the manners your Mother taught you! Shame on you! | |
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Posted: 6/30/2008 3:36:10 PM | Exotic........
This has been a thorn in my side for a long time now. People have lost all sense of reason, common sense, and courtesy. I personally would rather get a nasty reply as the old, "READ DELETED". What happened to the old way of someone saying, sorry not interested, thank you? Then people wonder why others are turned of by these insolent people on these sites. It is a shame that the few have to ruin it for the others. | |
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| Common Courtesy
Posted: 9/4/2008 2:59:11 PM | You know .. right up there with common courtesy is just plain old respect. You'd kinda expect that from a certain age group.
Recently we had a thread started with the hope of getting more interest and a few volunteers out for the upcoming Kite Surfing Events / Competition - Fun, in Summerside. We mentionned that it might even make for a kinda neat POF get together.
For some reason, well ok - because 1 or 2 people who frequent(ed) these PEI forums have some personal (silly/childish) issue with me - they had that thread deleted.
It wasn't discourteous to me - it was actually quite discourteous and even rude to our visitors here in Summerside, and on the whole Islnd for that matter, when an attitude that is so much less than welcoming is displayed. Not very nice.
In the meantime, since there is that little group of harpies who insist on having my threads deleted, I would like to take this opportunity to once again mention that this event is from the 9th to the 13th, at Greenshore in Summerside and volunteers are needed. Also - there are perks for volunteers. If you are interested please contact Tourism Summerside. They had a meeting a couple nites ago - the news of which was also deleted with that thread. It is Not too late - and it will be well worth the time .. loads of entertainment and fun!
If you're not interested .. just ignore and move on to a thread that captivates you! 
I wish the mods were more aware of some of the mental midgetry that takes place behind the PEI pof scenes .. some of you really should be ashamed. I've done no one any harm - my big nasty deed - I'm not common .. typical, blahblah - I am harmless though and at this age one would think that a better career than bullying might be worthy 'your' attention .. eh? | |
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| Common Courtesy
Posted: 9/13/2008 2:45:47 PM | | I would like to thank all of you for your sincere and though-provoking responses. I greatly enjoyed and appreciated all of them! A.S. YOU ROCK!!! | |
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| Common Courtesy
Posted: 9/17/2008 2:55:37 PM | OT
You are very welcome Dancer ...
... and yes .. I do
I roll too
Me and my mullen ..
A.S.is
ps
when you comin home dancer? | |
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| Common Courtesy
Posted: 9/18/2008 11:16:22 AM | | xotic dancer et al,I'm writing from Vancouver Island to say the same thing is happening across Canada,I find about 3% write back to acknowledge having recieved email from me.I do not understand the rude behaviour. I do'nt take it personally,I am here for the reasons stated in my profile,no secret agenda, or husband hidden away and I do not seek perfection I say this because I believe some folk on pof seem to be looking for perfection,they do'nt seem to get it, we are people flawed by our very natures, you can'nt order up the perfact person like a pizza. I believe most of those types will remain ALONE( I do tend to doubt peoples integrity when they are rude) I try to remember their behaviour is about them not me and I move on. I do now have a few pen pals who I enjoy immensly. ( thanks to the fellows who did respond).Happy fishing. | |
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| Common Courtesy
Posted: 9/18/2008 1:43:57 PM | I have said it before that I can't understand those who do not respond to an email.
It takes a mere minute of their time, there is no waste of ink or paper.
I have been on this site for awhile, and have only had one person that didn't respond.
It wasn't even that I was interested in him, or wanted him to father a child.
I was only curious about a scenic picture he had on his profile.
But I don't take it personally, but do find it rude.
And for those who don't respond when someone takes the time to send them an email, you could be missing out on something amazing! | |
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| Common Courtesy
Posted: 10/3/2008 8:25:34 PM | | I have been wondering the same thing! I have sent out a few emails just sending out compliments to some folks... a simple thank you would be nice... but nothing in return is just plaine RUDE!!! | |
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