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 pseudonymJay
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 1
Women close to 40 still wanting babiesPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Can it be true from what I've read of these profiles. Are women still wanting to have children at the age of 40 or within a year or two? I just thought back to my late relationship and realise the difficulties with a 35 year old having children! Is it posssible, these women are sincerely contemplating this? And do they realise the risks?

This is not intended for an arguement, just real live input. From women: is it true you would consider this at that age? From men: are you sure you want to start afamily at this late date?

I know this may be very controversial so tread lightly please. And to all answering, please respect the beliefs, and opinions of others. Maturity expected!
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 2
Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/15/2008 5:24:37 PM
A coworker of mine became a father at the age of 42. He has since fathered two more (all in wedlock). I see a fair number of 40 something women in our labour/delivery wing..... it's not an everyday occurrence but it is a common occurrence.

My parents friends had their first and only baby in their mid-fifties.

The only concern I would have is about the child's welfare. The child(ren) can very easily become parentless at a very young age... depending on the age of the birth parents. In my opinion, that's a tough thing for kids to grow through.
 Malley
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 3
Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/15/2008 5:24:39 PM
I do not see the issue with this ... if these women and men have never had children ... does age really matter ??? There are risks with every pregnancy and yes they do increase with age, but some risks are worth taking ...

My daughters paternal great grandmother was 48 when she had her last of 13 children ... in fact she had grandchildren when he was born ... and that was in the days prior to diagnostic techniques such as ultrasound and amniocentesis ...

It is possible that they just want to keep options open ... who's to say ... perhaps adopting a child is a route they are considering ...
 RoseBoots
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 4
Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/15/2008 5:33:30 PM
My mother was 21 and my paternal grandmother was 45 when they were expecting at the same time. My aunt was born two days after me. She was the seventh child for my grandmother.

One of my cousins had her first and only child when she was 36.

I have two friends in their mid 30's having their first child.
 pink_hamilton
Joined: 11/26/2007
Msg: 5
Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/15/2008 5:34:46 PM
I personally would not want any more kids after 40, I started late, well later than "the norm" I didnt start having my kids till I was 30, and I cant imagine doing it at this stage in life, as my kids are now just starting to get some independance and I am getting some free time ( I am a single Mom )
Now mind you, if this was an unexpected little blessing, I wouldnt be able to get rid of it, any way, be it abortion or adoption, I would keep the child and grin and bear it, as I believe that everything happens for a reason, we just dont know what that reason might be.
 Greanize
Joined: 7/30/2005
Msg: 6
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Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/15/2008 5:55:02 PM
I would be the first person to say no way no how...not a flippin chance. My youngest is 23 and the thought of breeding now make me gack! BUT............ and I mean BUT a while ago I met someone that made me feel all warm and fuzzy. For a few moments I imagined how wonderful it would be to carry his child under my heart....but trust me; THAT WENT AWAY!!!
Being childless at this age reminds me of the lottery commercial: Imagine the Freedom!!!
Then there are the men in their 40's still wanting to have children....WFT??? You want to be 65 at their high school graduation??? There are a few men I have met and some I dated in their early 40's to mid 40's that still want children and would not pursue a relationship with me for that reason!
I say get a dog...or a cat!
 compactdisc
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 7
Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/15/2008 6:22:52 PM
iam 40 in a few weeks and i cant see myself ever having kids now.

most women have allready had their share of kids and dont want any more at 40+.
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 8
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Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/15/2008 6:50:24 PM
Well I for one have made a very firm decision with my husband and family to have another child. It is something we are trying very hard to make happen. There can be a million arguements on both sides of the fence on this. However it is a very personal and important decision between two people. It is not for anyone else to say whether it is right or wrong. With the guidance and professional care of our OB and family Dr. we have a green light to go!! Just because it may not fit into your life - or the life of someone you know - does not mean it cannot be a part of someones life who wishes this with all their heart!! Children are an awesome gift from God and will be cherished by those who want them at any age!!!
 RoseBoots
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 9
Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/15/2008 7:17:07 PM
Leeanne, I think it is wonderful that you want another baby. All I ever really wanted was to be a Mommy and have five kids. I ended up having three, and they are my inspiration and my joy. My babies are having babies, and I love it!!
 Firmbear8
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 10
Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/15/2008 7:20:07 PM
Hey well now theres many pro's con's at having kids when your 40 or older!
But I will say when you least expect to get preggy it may happen even if you don't want any. So best advise is either make sure you have condems when with your partner or better use birth control of some kind . As just when you figure your safe and don't want any more it can & could happen. Two co workers both in their mid 40's now are the proud parents of a new born !LOL Yep they thought because she had her tubes tied they were safe from having anymore. Little did they know that when her tubes were tied the doc didn't cut the tubes but just tied them with surgical thread to prevent the travel of her eggs. LOL Yes they found out the thread finally gave out and woo hoo looky !
Now as for me I am not looking to have any new borns with any lady I may fall inlove with . But if it happend I would just have too learn to deal with it just like anyone would.
 Matthews73
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 11
Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/15/2008 7:44:12 PM
My dad was 47 and mom was 38 when they had me I was the youngest of 4. As a young child was constantly worry they where going to die on me because they where so much older then other parents. When I see women profiles in POF wanting or considering having children for the first time when there in there 30s something, I wonder if you took so long to make the decision to make a very big commitment , maybe you should not commit at all. And if us parents make it look so easy, because we work so hard at it. A job that will never end. I just want my bed back, my son watch a scary movie over christmas holidays and where he sneaks into evey night to sleep. D o really want to have that when your in your 50s. Ya by the way both parents still living.
 Malley
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 12
Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/15/2008 8:02:53 PM
I don't understand where this statement is coming from ...


having children for the first time when there in there 30s something, I wonder if you took so long to make the decision to make a very big commitment


Who says they took a long time to make this decision ??? It can simply be a matter of not having met the right person to commit to this decision with ... I knew from the time I was very young that I wanted children ... that certainly didn't mean I acted on this the first chance I got ...


I just want my bed back, my son watch a scary movie over christmas holidays and where he sneaks into evey night to sleep


Personally ... I love having a little one crawl in next to me ... be it for company ... a cuddle ... a bit of comfort ... it would not bother me if I was 60 ...
 CallmeJewels
Joined: 3/13/2007
Msg: 13
Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/15/2008 8:13:05 PM
To each their own...really!

I am done...don't mind helping raise someone else's as I had always wanted a big family but done with lost sleep when they are tiny! I love my SLEEP!
 RamblingRogue
Joined: 1/4/2008
Msg: 14
Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/16/2008 8:01:32 AM
We decided to have (more) kids post 40. Yep, some of the health risks go up, the recovered is a bit tougher, and we'll be retired by the time the kids are self sufficient. But yep, there definately are women who want kids at 40.
 Bindere-Dundat
Joined: 1/8/2008
Msg: 15
Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/16/2008 9:28:25 AM
It's the womans body and it is her decision. Your opinion of that is just your opinion. Everyone is different. Everyone's phsyiology is different. You can be darn sure that if a 40 year old woman wants children, she has already examined and weighed the risk.

Respect the woman. Respect her choices.
 Matthews73
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 16
Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/16/2008 11:32:09 AM
First of all it was not a statement it was my opinion, and i believe I never ask you if you like to sleep in the same bed with children nor do i care to know. Plus read what i said, i was wondering but did not say it as if where factual. And I really dont care what bother's you or does'nt bother you when you are 60. And i simply dont care if women are giving birth in there 70's all i know is, im definately not the father, that for sure.
 angelssintoo
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 17
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Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/16/2008 12:17:49 PM
Considering a lot of people are getting married later in life now then even 20 years ago and the fact that a lot of people are choosing not to get married and just start a family on their own I think age becomes a moot point.

Having children shouldnt be about how old you are, it should be about when you are able to provide for them emotionally and financially. Im 24 and no more ready to have a child then fly to the moon, if I dont feel Im ready until Im 40 then so be it.

As much as I dont agree with people in their 60+ years having children (just because if your own health starts failing at 70 who is going to look after your young child?) if thats when its time for them then thats when its time.

As for the risks... there are always risks. Hell theres a risk when you walk out the door that you'll get hit by a bus, are you going to not leave the house? Medical technology has advanced SO much that the risks are becoming less and less.

Basically and shortforming what I just said... "To each their own."
 .Lisa
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 18
Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/16/2008 12:24:42 PM
40's is the new 30's

many are having kids. I meet many who focused on school and career and what they wanted to do before children in their 20's and 30's that they had or having it at 40+

my professor had her baby at 40

me personally, I had my son young and like these women, I did it backwards so I'm now in that "career, doing what I dreamed of" now as my son is getting older. So when I'm 40 he's 23 so I want to do things I lost out in my teens and 20's
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 19
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Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/16/2008 12:51:10 PM
I had my first baby at 30 and the second at 33, so I guess you could say I was a late bloomer. Least in the baby department anyway!
I absolutely loved being preggers and it showed! If I could I would love to carry one more for the absolute high I got from the 9 months including the delivery. There is just one problem for me though? They hang around for you to raise at least another 18 years! lol
As was said previously, this is a personal choice to be made by the individuals involved. While I wouldn't do it at my age, I would never knock someone who did!
 wendall7
Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 20
Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:26:37 PM
I agree with this but wanted to add that people of all ages die. it would be nice if we all outlived our parents but the fact that they are alive does not always factor in a good upbringing.

My grandmother is 100 and still here. My dad is her kid and it will still be very tough although he is 64.

the point is death is hard and life is all about risks. if we live our lifes avoiding risks what a boring life it would be.
 pupdaddy12003
Joined: 8/9/2007
Msg: 21
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Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:32:37 PM
...I hope there's some women close to 40 that still want a child...I'd like one too...

...Maybe they should email me...LOL
 Mae B
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 22
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Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/17/2008 1:51:08 PM
I understand that its a persons choice to wait or not to have kids, but I couldn't do it myself.

I started at 25 and was done at 30 and shut the factory down X 2.

I see women coming into my work all day in their late 30' & 40's in a second marriage.. with their kids in their teens and 20's having more babies.. more power to you!!!
 marnicky
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 23
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Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/17/2008 6:49:08 PM
I had my 3rd son when i was 40,i was lucky no health problems, wouldn't suggest it to anyone, I don't have the energy like when i was in my 20's, lot more work .
 ISHTAR38
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 24
Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/18/2008 9:23:47 AM
OP, mind your own business!!! If women want to have babies after 40, so be it. Not everyone is fortunate to meet the right partner earlier on in life. Medical miracles happen everyday now. And anyways, why is it your concern what other people do in their lives. My advice to you is SHUT UP!!!!
 five-marie
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 25
Women close to 40 still wanting babies
Posted: 1/18/2008 1:29:19 PM
Not only women who are having babies later in life. Obviously they have a partner. I met a gentleman in here, 51 and still hoping to have a child. Sometimes our dreams take a little longer to happen. Myself, had my children between 27 and 31. Perfect timing for me.
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