| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/16/2008 12:28:48 AM | I have an incerdible business opportunity in sydney, AU. I already own one small business here in Charlotte, NC and I have an opportunity to start a second one with investors in austrailia. My delima is that I won't run from love if I see it and I know I don't love anyone here but I like someone and there's a possibility that it could turn into something long term. I've been told a thousand times to never drop your dreams for a woman. Sounds smart but... I know I'll never fully feel complete without someone who completes me. I'm only 24 and I'm in no rush, but I'd hate to leave when I shouldn't. I don't want to turn my back on something good. How do ya know when it's worth staying?
I thought I'd found her earlier last year... Turns out she didn't feel the same way about me as I did for her after 6 months together. I thought I found someone who would stay true through thick and thin, guess not. Luckily I found out soon.
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/16/2008 12:40:51 AM | Sweetie, fist let me say your question is so sweet. I say spend time with her, as much as you can and see where her head is. A good woman wants a strong man so chances are she will tell you to go for your dreams, and who said after some time has pasted that she can't relocate, don't limit yourself, go for them both.
good luck to you | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/16/2008 12:54:21 AM | | That is incredibly sweet. If I were you then I would talk to her about it. See how she feels about you, tell her that you like her and so on. You need to find out where she stands. If in the end all she does is like you as a friend and you miss out on this great opportunity, then you've wasted your time. But if you find out after leaving that she actually did want to become more with you or liked you more than a friend then you might regret not talking to her or asking her. Also, go with your gut instinct. That works A LOT with me. Maybe it's just women, but it could be true for men. | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:37:05 AM |
don't limit yourself, go for them both
^^^ Thats the greatest advice you'll ever get.
I see people go through life limiting themselves to *either/or* scenarios.
Either way...you give up *something*....and I dont see *why* people do it to themselves.
Just because what is effectively option C in your situation may seem harder...its not.
Its just different.
Worst case scenario...if one doesnt work you...you still have the other.
And if both dont work out...you're only back to where you are now.
You cant lose. | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/16/2008 4:01:13 AM | | Come here to Australia.... Ill look after u!!!... lol... on a serious note, As the other posts have said.. Talk to her..! Cheers and all the best to you either way! | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/16/2008 4:12:23 AM | | Can she go to Australia with you? You may like it, she may hate it, or the reverse. The relationship could escalate, it could tank. Everyday is a new day. You might find you can have both. Communicate with her. It might also make a difference in how long to plan to be gone. | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/16/2008 5:00:27 AM |
I'll never fully feel complete without someone who completes me.
Dumbass. Sorry I just had to get that out.
Okay ever since that stupid Tom Cruise movie people have been thinking that this line is sweet. But it's not. It's weak and pathetic. If you are only half-a-man, then you need to be looking for another half-man to complete you, not a half-woman.
This is the reality: a successful relationship happens between two WHOLE people who come together in a partnership. If you are not a complete person, then you are not ready to have a relationship.
You are 24. One day you will either be 40 having fulfilled your dreams and feel that you lived a full life and did things that you wanted -- or you will be married to someone you resent and wish that you had waited until you were older to meet and marry someone else.
You won't even begin to know who you are until at least 30 - for most people. That means that you don't even know what you want in another person yet.
I'm telling you from experience. I held off on a lot of dreams because of various men. None of those relationships ever worked out. I wish that I could go back in time knowing what I know now and I would have followed my dreams and goals instead.
Maybe your future is to marry an amazing Aussie woman. Don't give up a great opportunity for someone you "like". Because even giving up dreams for someone you "love" isn't all it's cracked up to be. Life is not a romantic movie where love conquers all. | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/16/2008 5:04:48 AM |
I thought I'd found her earlier last year... Turns out she didn't feel the same way about me as I did for her after 6 months together. I thought I found someone who would stay true through thick and thin, guess not. Luckily I found out soon.
...and the same thing could happen again. Invest in yourself by investing in your future with this business opportunity.
When it's worth staying for, you don't have to ask if it's worth staying for. | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/16/2008 5:33:43 AM |
I know I'll never fully feel complete without someone who completes me. I'm only 24....
So you have plenty of time to learn that no one will ever "complete you".....
It's up to you to come to the relationship already complete. If you're looking for someone to fill gaps and holes in yourself, you'll never be happy..... because those spaces will ALWAYS remain empty UNTIL YOU FILL THEM YOURSELF.
What happens if you allow someone into your life and they "complete you" and then leave you? Yah.... you're incomplete.... and now you're incomplete and devastated!
Who the hell wants an incomplete partner? No one that herself is complete!! She'll look at you as someone looking for a crutch..... or worse.
Get your act together, do what you have to and make sure you're bringing a "full meal to the table" and look at your partner as "just dessert"..... you can live without it/her/whatever... but you'd rather not..... | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/16/2008 5:56:44 AM | It sounds like you like the girl, the fact that you have to think about staying or going shows you have strong enough feelings for her.
Is she someone your really connect with?
Do you see a future with her?
If yes maybe spend lots of time with her and that may help you make up your mind.
You could also have this conversation with her and she what she thinks
xx | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/16/2008 7:43:45 AM |
It's up to you to come to the relationship already complete. If you're looking for someone to fill gaps and holes in yourself, you'll never be happy.
Great comment and excellent advice,
op, I think a successful and loving relationship between 2 people is when first,
each person is already, whole,happy and content with themself and
not the other way around.
To put that kind of pressure to keep you whole from another person
to me spells disaster in the long run.
At your age, maturity,confidence and contentment will come in time.
Take care of business, sounds like you are on the right track and hopefully you will see how things evolve and mature.
When you love being complete, then be with your friend and partner who is also,
then eat and drink and be merry with thee,
like a dessert so sweet... | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/16/2008 7:48:00 AM | My answer is in your second post,you have asked this twice in the last few minutes.
OP,there is no reason for you to double post the question. | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/16/2008 12:53:13 PM | There are plenty of fish in the sea (pun intended).
Given the uncertainty in the "connection" you have with this woman, I think it is an easy decision to make other things in your life the priority right now. That may not seem easy right now, but have the confidence that you will find the right person in due time.
I don't mean to sound callous, but: Pursue the biz opportunity! | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:59:03 PM | | Well, it's refreshing to see a guy who puts relationships a priority, but in this case, Id say go for your business opp instead. For the many reasons you stated: you're young, new relationship, you've been wrong (recently) before. If it's true love, it will stay true love. | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/16/2008 2:10:42 PM | | I agree with some of the other posters that you should talk to this special lady about any possibilities for a long term relationship with her and your incredible business opportunity, then proceed accordingly. Yeah... you could expand your business into a multi-million dollar empire. Then again, you could lose your shirt. There's no way to know what will happen for sure so you don't really know if you would be wasting one opportunity by pursuing the other, and in some scenarios you could even have it all. Good luck! | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/16/2008 4:02:21 PM | HI, Yes speak to the woman, and ask her if she would like to share the adventure with you... Even If you go to australia, and set up accomadation etc without her..... she can always come and visit if she cant leave what shes doing in usa..
Follow your opportunities, otherwise you might regret it ...But let her know your interested in her as well..... so she dosent think your leaving shows lack of interest or ends the relationship.. keep in contact re email/ph etc.
I think you can have both her if shes truly interested in you..
smiles/peace | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/18/2008 1:51:39 AM | Believe me, when you get to Australia you won't even remember her, the girls there are SMOKIN HOT and they LOVE American men. Not to mention Australia ROCKS. Trust me, I'm an Aussie. Infact, I just came back from there last night and will be there again in a month  | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/18/2008 2:11:02 AM | The 2 don't have to 'Exclude' each other one *Bit*.
Stay the Course with your Business , don't even put it in the same vein as Relationship/Potential Love matters.
Moving to Australia sounds like an Exceptional Opportunity , especially at your age.
In doing so there is No reason that pursuing business has to 'interfere' with potential love.
Australia is a lovely place to live (for some) , a lovely place to visit/vacation (for some).
Sounds like the possibility of OP inviting the gal for a 'visit' is feasible .
Also , if OP does Move/Set up 'shop' in OZ ... will give time for reflection
*OR*
An option of 'testing waters'.
Either invite the gal along for a 'looksy loo' trip *OR* take the time to reflect , see if ya Do miss her.
Any 'which way' ... do NOT forgo this Opportunity.
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/18/2008 7:07:50 AM |
I know I don't love anyone here .....If it was 'love' you would either stay where you are or you would encourage the one you love to move downunder with you. Living with the 'what ifs' will not enable you to expand your future.
Consider your future by weighing up the differences between living where you are and living downunder. A change of scenery may sound nice, but it's expensive to live here in Australia. Remember you get the glossy pictures and the reports of a 'booming' Australia.....truth is not found until you live here. I love this country but.......
The other option you have is to 'visit' Australia and see for yourself what is on offer.....At this stage I certainly would not commit to anything. | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 1/18/2008 2:57:48 PM | | You just said that she doesn't feel the same, go to australia, perhaps that's where you'll find her ;o) off with the old and in with the new! | |
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| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 3/25/2008 10:38:40 AM | do not put off your dreams for a partner. if they love you or care enough, they'll either go w/you, or be faithful while you're gone.
i would go in a heartbeat. exciting, adventurous opportunities are FUN. then again, i don't have a great big career that i would have to leave. :) | |
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N*Love
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Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 23 | |
| Ladies... advice please.
Posted: 3/25/2008 11:30:27 AM | OP, my advice is ... tell her how you feel...
If she believes that you are worth it she will move ....
Plain simple... she 's got a job here,. she'll get a job there...
If she believes you are worth it and that you could be him then she take that step... if it doesnt work out she could always move back...
Dont let this opportunity slip by.. | |
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