| "No strings" dating
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:04:10 PM | OK... so how many people have pulled this off successfully (and by successfully I mean neither party got hurt. Also, this excludes people who participate in swingers/sex parties)?
And how many of you found upon after making a "no strings" agreement felt hurt/disappointed when you discovered your no strings partner was having/had sex with someone else? | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:07:13 PM | | I've been pulling it off since August. I know my no strings partner has others and he knows that I do as well. It's a matter of making sure your expectations are the same. I care about him as a friend and lover but neither of us feel we owe the other anything. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:09:45 PM | In the past,having a "no strings attached" relationship worked well for me,because I had a fear of committment.
But now that I am older,I want more. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:11:20 PM | It was working for me ok until he proposed.
Oops! | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:14:54 PM | | it doesnt matter what the relationship,someone can get hurt.just be true to yourself and thats all you can do. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:20:52 PM | | ..i enjoyed a relationship like this for quite some time,then she went through a fairly intense situation and decided she wanted more..to bad,was awsome while it lasted! still we are friends just no longer involving sex.. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:24:09 PM | | I have had a "relationship" like this - the key for us is to not see each other too frequently that way we didnt get attached emotionally. It can work for some people but I think for the most part someone usually ends up getting hurt. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:27:47 PM | | No strings relationships can be alot of fun at first. A great way to satisfy needs but in the long run, if your partner/friend is really that good and you tend to hook up often, one or the other is gonna develop deeper feelings. It is inevitable. Someone is gonna get hurt no matter how hard you try to to get attached, it happens. Perhaps these relationships would work best when your partner is someone you have absolutly nothing else in common with and would never date for any other reason. LOL. If your lover is really good why would you want to share? | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:35:01 PM | | well no strings is ok as long as everyone knows the rules, have done it before and were still mates! | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:52:19 PM | | Plum, maybe the reason it's worked so well for us is that distance and timing limits our interactions. Add that to the fact that neither of us are fans of monogomy for ourselves (if it works for you more power to you) and we make a great match. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/16/2008 2:43:51 PM | | I think most people who try one of them gets hurt. Unless it is a series of one night stands. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/16/2008 2:53:07 PM | It has worked for me and a friend or 2 for years. We took a break from each other while I tried for a different monogomous relationship but remained friends during that time. It was a nice comfortable "spot" to come back to when that relationship crashed and burned. Everyone needs to know the expectations and maintain open communication if there is a chance of anything changes. Other than that, it can work! | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/16/2008 3:30:25 PM | | been doing it for a while and we both know were having sex with others its been great.......anybody in the winnipeg area wanna try lol | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/16/2008 3:36:15 PM | I think No Strings is Great.I am a great love maker and all the ladys I was with also.SAFE SEX,YES.Every time we do it,its better then the time befour and thats why its the best.You cant tell me its not.How many of you out there got bored being with a person with rules with that strings attached Rule? Keven | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/16/2008 3:54:03 PM | If you're going to do it, and I've done it, you have to be up front about what you're looking for.
A lot of people don't understand something. They might say they want Sex without a Relationship, which is not the same thing as no-strings at all. A one night stand might be no-strings sex, because you might not even know their real name. There is absolutely no way you can have a purely sexual relationship with a person without (as a minimum) respect. That means you're honest about what you want, you respect boundaries.
My last no-strings relationship took a turn for the serious. We seemed pretty compatible in in and out of the bedroom and we took a turn at being a real couple. I think part of the reason the relationship ended was because of how it started. It was still an important relationship for me, because getting emotionally close to a no-strings partner (and that was mutual) made me ready to go onto... more traditional relationships. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/16/2008 3:54:12 PM | To me "no strings" is the opposite of "dating" so it's sort of an oxymoron.
No strings sex is a bit different and probably what you meant to say. I think it's fine as long as both are careful, honest and safe about it. Undoubtedly there are people out there that aren't wired for it, and shouldn't do it, but for those who can separate, it serves it's purpose.
Dating is something you do with someone you like and want to get to know...but before you commit to anyone, dating doesn't have strings (outside of your desire not to want to look elsewhere).
I've been in NSA, FWB, and full blown relationships, depending on who the person is, and what my mindset was at that time. Some people don't have potential to be much else, but there's still that attraction, so you file em in "no strings". | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/17/2008 5:57:17 AM | My next question:
How many of you who started looking/having no strings relationships bounced into a monogamous one shortly after (ie, as soon as you told yourself you wanted no strings you met someone you wanted to be monogamous with)?
I guess I'm asking... once you do the no strings do you find you end up in/wanting a monogamous relationship next? | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/17/2008 6:53:38 AM | | I have wound up in serious relationships that started as no strings but I don't do monogomy so that part doesn't apply. Two of my guys are very serious relationships but not monogomous and they know that. I am clear going into anything that I don't believe in the concept of monogomy in my life. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/17/2008 7:01:48 AM |
How many of you who started looking/having no strings relationships bounced into a monogamous one shortly after (ie, as soon as you told yourself you wanted no strings you met someone you wanted to be monogamous with)?
I guess I'm asking... once you do the no strings do you find you end up in/wanting a monogamous relationship next?
I never want a serious thing, for me they usually happen by accident or gradually. I sort of always have a no strings thing going when single with someone I know and trust (works better for me than grabbing one night stands in bars/clubs), so inevitably have some arrangement to end if/when it becomes serious with someone I actually like that much. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/17/2008 1:07:36 PM | | Strings break thats why I use rope to tie my woman up | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/17/2008 1:12:40 PM | | ive tried this and i can't work because in order to sleep with some one you've got be attracted to them thus feeling evolve say no more!! | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/17/2008 1:16:36 PM | | No strings means no strings, so if you start to feel something for that person then its your fault because you knew the terms. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/17/2008 1:32:48 PM | Nice one Plumb5150. LOL I agree with most on here, that it is what it is. I used to have "no strings attached" but it wasn't as fulfilling as having some sort of boundary to cross! (which I never did, but the excitement that you COULD was fun enough!) In the beginning of a potential relationship both parties usually have no strings attached for various reasons; either one or both parties have someone else on the side (other potential dates) or are just cautious of who they get involved with. I think that a no-strings relationship works well in the beginning of a SEXUAL relationship but not for anything else. Feelings almost always arise for either person and if one develops feelings they may secretly hold on to a no-strings relationship just for the sake of being with that person. It only leads to bad feelings and awkwardness afterwards especially for the person who doesn't have those same feelings!!
Communication & Openness are the keys. If you can't communicate with the person you are no-strings attaching with then you shouldn't be with them in the first place. I'm not saying that you should tell each other every sorted detail, but both should be able to say if they are seeing other people or if the circumstances in which they are no-stringing changes. LOL
Assuming makes you an ass. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/17/2008 3:14:30 PM | | Works great if everyone understands the boundaries. I've had three or four successful no-strings arrangements. I actually enjoyed quite a bit of mental freedom within those relationships. It was really nice and good for me to explore my own boundaries and expand them. | |
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| No strings dating
Posted: 1/17/2008 3:29:51 PM | | I've never had a "no strings" agreement. I don't take sex that lightly. It's a serious thing for me. I'm either in it all the way or I'm not in it at all. | |
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