| Would you feel comfortable seeing someone infrequently?
Posted: 1/16/2008 7:35:44 PM | Let's say you have been seeing a girl for two to three months, and work is really busy for you. You can only see 2-3 times a month on weekends. Would you feel comfortable with that situation or would you need to see that person more?
I am in that situation now. At the beginning, the guy used to want to talk to me all the time, now he doesn't email/call/text/IM anymore, but he still treats me really well when we see each other. If you don't talk or see someone for 2-3 weeks, would you feel totally ok with it or would it bother you? Should I be worried or am I just overanalyzing things?
Do you lose interest if you see/talk to the girl that infrequently? | |
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| Would you feel comfortable seeing someone infrequently?
Posted: 1/16/2008 8:50:53 PM | | I don't think it would ever get to a relationship if you can't at least see each other weekly and talk a lot (msn, phone) in between ... but if I was busy and was just looking for something casual that would be fitting | |
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| Would you feel comfortable seeing someone infrequently?
Posted: 1/16/2008 8:59:15 PM | Much like a long distance relationship, you have to be trusting it is exclusive (if in fact it is), have to be patient, and have to respect the other's feelings. Distance doesnt mean just in terms of mileage, it can be emotional distance as well.
Rome wasn't built in a day, but it sure was spectacular when it was finished, no? However, despite not seeing each other, phone calls, IM's, texts, and email can do wonders, as long as it's enough to sustain you, is it?? | |
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| Would you feel comfortable seeing someone infrequently?
Posted: 1/16/2008 9:14:14 PM | Good topic.
Do you lose interest if you see/talk to the girl that infrequently?
As far as a serious relationship goes, absolutely. Even the guys that have answered that they wouldn't, I don't think they're judging in the context of this person they are seeing in frequently as somebody they actually want to spend time with. If it was someone I was casually interested, then no-then I would agree that it probably wouldn't bother me. But I wouldn't take it too seriously, either.
I've had several relationships that may have gone somewhere had we made more time for each other, but when busy schedules, travel distances, etc, made seeing each other once a week take a miracle (or phone calls once every 4-5 days) --- the interest for me faded pretty fast. In fact, I would go so far as to say in some cases-eventually- I actually started to distance myself, because I didn't see the possibility of anything long term developing under those circumstances. | |
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| Would you feel comfortable seeing someone infrequently?
Posted: 1/16/2008 9:52:58 PM |
Do you lose interest if you see/talk to the girl that infrequently?
As far as a serious relationship goes, absolutely. Even the guys that have answered that they wouldn't, I don't think they're judging in the context of this person they are seeing in frequently as somebody they actually want to spend time with. If it was someone I was casually interested, then no-then I would agree that it probably wouldn't bother me. But I wouldn't take it too seriously, either.
I'm going to agree with this one.
She doesn't need to be around ALL the time... but there has to be some sort of balance as i do lose interest if the gaps between time are too wide. | |
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| Would you feel comfortable seeing someone infrequently?
Posted: 1/16/2008 11:12:52 PM | I was talking to a girl recently who is in a similar situation.
She's been dating a guy for FIVE MONTHS who lives about an hour away... he sees her maybe twice a month, rarely calls and doesn't email. She tried to make a date with him one day recently and he turned her down.
I told her it sounds like he doesn't take her seriously at all, and he probably looks at her as nothing more than a convenient, occassional frak-toy.
She didn't like to hear that view, but she admitted that she knows it's probably true.
I just don't see how anyone who's actually looking for a real relationship would be happy with this... and I think a guy, busy or not, needs to make more effort than this if the girl means anything to him. | |
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| Would you feel comfortable seeing someone infrequently?
Posted: 1/16/2008 11:26:48 PM | | I would prefer to have some some e-mails, texts. I would tell him "I know you are busy and I appreciate that fact, but I really miss your texts, e-mails, and it would mean a lot if you would send me something occasionally whether an e-mail or a text". And if he cares, he would make some kind of effort. Frankly, if a girl used to do that with me and didn't do anymore, I wouldn't feel so good about it, but sometimes when people get comfortable and feel you have a relationship, they slow down. I know this is bothering you. Speak with him about it in a nice way, but be understanding. I don't think anyone could be so busy as to not send either a text or e-mail in three weeks. It only a few minutes maximum to do so. | |
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| Would you feel comfortable seeing someone infrequently?
Posted: 1/16/2008 11:46:07 PM | I would feel comfortable in that situation.
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years (Go meeting on PoF!), and with our work schedules, we can only manage seeing each other about once a week.
Some of the reasons we don't see each other more often, are stuff like bills, conflicting work schedules, busy work schedules, and being that I'm the only one driving in this relationship right now...it really depends on when i can have gas money spare to go see her (We live about an Hour and 20min apart right now).
Mostly, we try to get in some sort of contact each day to help get through the week, and then enjoy the time we do have together as best we can.
That's about all I got to say there :P | |
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bugsi
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Joined: 11/26/2007
Msg: 14 | |
| Would you feel comfortable seeing someone infrequently?
Posted: 1/17/2008 7:33:54 AM | | Most jobs are reasonable hours, (reasonable pay). If he is not calling you and only treating you well when he is seeing you then that would indicate that he is caught up with his own life and is neglecting yours. If you dont talk about it then he will think that it's ok to do it. | |
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| Would you feel comfortable seeing someone infrequently?
Posted: 1/17/2008 7:58:57 AM | | Would I lose interest? Probably, yeah. Fortunately I have never been in a relationship with anyone who was that busy (except for a few who were that busy but I saw most every weekday anyway at class or some other routine event), but the lack of contact does seem similar to a long-distance relationship, which I have been in. Obviously it works for some people... but it doesn't really for me. If your guy is only looking for something casual, then 2-3 times a month is probably enough. If he wants a serious relationship, then 2-3 times a month might very well make him become disinterested. | |
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