| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 12:49:52 AM | I would like some input and your own unique opinion. I know it all depends what kind of relationship the guy is after. But does a guy really crave that emotional connection so early in a new relationship? It's hard for me to break down that barrier after sex. I don't think I'm shy but I'm not extremely talkative person over all. I crack jokes as a way to deal with a lot of my emotions in the beginning. I keep conversations light and fun. I don't want to tell my whole life story in the first few weeks. Is that a turn off?
lol I'm asking because I started a long-distance relationship and he quickly wanted to clarify the relationship status. The serious part didn't last long, apparently due to my lack of openess or emotional connection.
Any thoughts on this due-zy? | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 12:56:33 AM | I'm not sure if I even get where you are coming from.
EVERYBODY craves emotinal connection. I've always taken that as a proven fact and not worth even re discussing.
Men will settle for just the sex (as they do with prostitutes) if they can't get an emotional connection.
But this doens't emn they don't WANT emotional connections. Just that they can't usually get connection.
If you want more detrails on your paticular relatinship give us the ddetails on thsi dude. | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 1:08:27 AM | As my first boyfriend, I don't have experience to go on. But it was my impression that men prefered to take it slow. And I'm a bit of a commitment-phobe. So, that is what I was trying to do...
I doubt that he even remembers AS much about ME as I do about HIM. lol
It's more about what a person can bring to a relationship, is that right? We were total opposites. He had more drama then I could deal with. And I'm easy going. ect.
Think it was doomed from the start. lol
Even through all this, we had a good physical connection!? not enough is it? Can't just stay with someone because of that. Someone always winds up getting hurt. | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 1:14:12 AM | I don't think "slow" is the word.
I think "take it naturally" is better. Don't rush, don't hold back. Just let it happen. There's no need to rush, form statuses and define feelings and all that stuff. Just, let the relationship happen. Don't force it.
If by "crave", you mean "rush", I think that's the issue. | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 1:20:35 AM | There is no emotional connection in the begining of a relationship, I mean hell how do you know its going to be a relationship in the first month even? It could just be a bunch of dates that lead to nothing other then a fun time.
If he said you had a lack of openess and emotional connection then obviously you didnt live up to his ridiculous standards so why bother? Cant you find someone local? | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 6:50:53 AM | i " fall " pretty quickly.
iam not desperate in any way for a quick fix but with the women i have been with in the last few years it was i who fell head over heels for the woman.
unfortunately it was they who didnt feel the same for me.
my trouble is that i never learn from my mistakes but i cant help letting my heart lead the way.
yes.......i personally get very emotional.......not too sure many women like the luvvey duvvey thing too soon in a relationship tho....sad but true. | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 7:43:16 AM | | For me, I don't necessarily need a solid emotional attachment. Early in a relationship, I want to enjoy your company. If I enjoy it a lot, then a natural emotional connection is bound to happen. | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 7:53:08 AM | It's not a matter of "taking it slow". It's that people should go at the pace that's comfortable for both of them.
Some people can dive headfirst into love... others are slow and cautious about letting someone get close to them. It's all about their personality and experiences.
And there's no right or wrong. Just whatever works for the individual.
Some men are happy just having sex, because emotionally, they're pretty hollow.
Others could care less about sex, and are looking for true love.
For myself... well, it all depends on the woman... sometimes I take things slow... we get to know each other over weeks or months...
And there's been a couple of times when I've fallen in love at first sight.
As for sex... I believe in making love to someone I love. And the sex part of the relationship doesn't come until there's something serious there. | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 7:59:36 AM | Yes, men want emotional connection, unless they've been hurt or abused.
But the inherent problem is, it's a different kind of connection.
There's a fundamental major and frankly sad evolutionary difference between men and women. Women wish to bond, fuse, become one with and be all-encompassing with someone else (which would make that person a great parent). Men, on the other hand, are biologically driven to keep some degree of distance - to have children, enough contact with them to ensure they survive, but always with an eye on the horizon for another woman to potentially impregnate. These are the genes we've all inherited.
Men DO wish to bond with women, but not the way that they want - which leads women to feel men are distant or unloving.
Women DO wish to bond with men, but not the way that they want - which leads to men feeling trapped, stuck in a relationship with someone too "clingy", etc.
"Honey, move in with me and let's buy window treatments and have lots of babies and a joint bank account and a nice house in the suburbs" is the female equivalent of "babe, just take your panties off, let's get our freak on, and then, please don't make too much noise on your way out." Women DO want sex, but not to be used. Men want a good relationship with someone, but not as an actor in "Girl gets manservant and lover and someone to pay for her dream lifestyle." | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 10:31:10 AM | OP
We all want an emotional connection in some way. Not all of us define it the same way though. It is beyond the easy men vs. women but many factors such as cultural background, upbringing (w mom & dad vs. just mom or just dad), religious affiliation, experience, etc. In some way shape or form we all want a connection. Some are more mental than emotional, some are more physical than emotional, some are more spiritual than emotional and vice versa. You have to find your own groove and that will help you with your commitment phobia.
I think that might be what pushed this guy away. If you see an obvious commitment phobia and your desire is a committed relationship, well that is something he saw as negative so he split. It happens all the time.
I do think that solving the commitment phobia will help you open up a bit. If you go 2 months with someone with only light fun conversation without any conversation that is deeper and gets to know the individual it gets boring and we will leave. I would think, well what is the point if she just keeps on chit chatting and not offering anything for me to get to know her.
Just my 2 cents. | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 10:43:02 AM |
Men will settle for just the sex (as they do with prostitutes) if they can't get an emotional connection.
But this doens't mean they don't WANT emotional connections. Just that they can't usually get connection.
Nicely said... and truthful.
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 11:24:14 AM | ^^^Agreed.
Yeah, OP, I'm not sure how much help we can be without more info. At your age it usually takes awhile before most guys are going to indicate they want an emotional connection and they're still wrestling with how that happens within the bounds of a relationship. | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 11:57:03 AM |
Men DO wish to bond with women, but not the way that they want - which leads women to feel men are distant or unloving.
So how does a woman know that he is trying to bond? I know in my last relationship, I just wasn't feeling it...no words, no actions that would indicate to me that he was 'connecting' at an emotional level. Is there a secret code we need to learn? | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 3:19:20 PM | No secret code at all, just everyone is different.Myself personally, I am almost always distant.You may see actions if you watch close enough.I tend to spend alot of time on a computer, but at the same time.But when my dad or some family member needs help, I always break away to help.If i was in some relationship with someone I liked.Though I would still spend alot of time on my computer, I would help around the house.I have no problem preparing food for meals.You, could probably get me to go shopping with you, or some morning walk.
as far as do men crave a emotional connection, first ask what is a emotional connection.Someone you can vent your problems to, sure.Someone you can snuggle with on the counch , sure.Someone who will cry on your shoulder, more than likely not. | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 5:17:38 PM | Men don't like to take it slow =P. Well, at least in general. We are more likely than women to want things to be clearly defined.
About wanting to make an emotional connection early in a relationship... Well, that's pretty much the whole point of a relationship, isn't it? | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 5:36:06 PM | I would like to go at a smooth pace when first dating, as stated earlier in the first month you have no idea if you will really hit it off.
No I don't think dating should not be thought of as a job interview, I have visited with a woman that was asking questions and scanned the internet as we chatted. She was telling me about myself and then "calling me on my profile" as he found something she thought clashed with what I wrote.
I felt so uncomfortable the whole conversation and with the fact she was trying to put 2 and 2 together and coming up with spam.
she was trying to catch me in a lie and I am sad to say I did not lie.
In a not shell.
Relax and be yourself, but you do need to move forward. Stagnant relationships end quickly. | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 5:37:52 PM |
Yes, men want emotional connection, unless they've been hurt or abused.
I agree with the first part of that statement, but not necessarily with the later. I, myself, have been hurt bad before......(bygones)....... but I now will look for more of an emotional connection than I did before. Live and learn. I guess I now take things seemingly slower than what a lot of women want. | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/18/2008 8:26:33 PM |
So how does a woman know that he is trying to bond? I know in my last relationship, I just wasn't feeling it...no words, no actions that would indicate to me that he was 'connecting' at an emotional level. Is there a secret code we need to learn?
Watch men bond. They rarely speak, rarely look at each other, rarely say anything. They tell randy jokes, they're typically DOING something together, both intent on it.
Watching two guys rebuild an engine, you might think that it was all about just putting the engine together cause they never spoke.
But what was said spoke volumes. "Hey, I heard she left you. Sorry, man." "Yeah." | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/23/2008 2:54:26 PM | Young lady the answer is yes. I have had a couple of reltionships where the woman has had a harder time telling about her emotions than I did.
If you have that problem go do some counceling and save your future boyfriends some trouble connecting to you on an emmotional level.
Most guys are guilty of this at some point in time in thier lives but for different reasons.
Hope this helps | |
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| Do men crave emotional connection with their partner?
Posted: 1/23/2008 2:58:42 PM | | Remember that at the age of 20 most men are consumed with the idea of spreading their seed as far and wide as possible. Monogamy is not natural for our species at any age. At 20 most of us haven't fully embraced civilization. If only we were wired to peak at the same time? | |
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