| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/19/2008 10:07:44 PM | Christians believe that "God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, and whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life"
This thread isn't about those that believe this but those who did not and die suddenly. you know that they never claimed to believe it and chances are slim they believed it a few minutes before they died.....soo, the pain is very fresh, the funeral (maybe) is about to happen...and family isn't religious....what do you say to the them?....I would just like this thread to be about funerals...what do you say when you don't believe in Heaven? I can't say I have ever been to a completely atheist funeral....all the ones I have been to played Amazing Grace...what is an atheist funeral like? and what would you like your funeral to be like?
guess tis the season to be Merry really is over...sorry  | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/19/2008 10:22:58 PM | Good question, Lola.
I look forward to the replies, Im sorta at a loss for advice besides encouraging the family/friends in any way I could without mentioning God...maybe a simple hug, while lovingly standing by their side in silence is the best comfort I could give. | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/19/2008 10:23:08 PM | I want my funeral to be up-beat and as fun as a funeral can be.
If there's music, I'd like it to be fun music. I'd also like for it to be as funny as possible. Maybe a slide show of my life, but funny parts of it. I'd like for people to get up and tell stories about the stupid things we did.
And lots of alcohol. | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/19/2008 10:34:06 PM | you say, "i'm sorry for your loss."
it's also nice to say something positive about how the deceased positively impacted your life (if you knew them well enough).
don't know what an atheist funeral is like. i don't think it exists. it's more likely to be a memorial service.
i don't plan on having a funeral. i'm gonna live forever!!  | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/19/2008 10:41:27 PM | "...what is an atheist funeral like? and what would you like your funeral to be like? "
This is what I would like...
When I die, and since it's most probable that I'll be taken to a hospital when I do, I would just like to be held long enough in the hospital's morgue to be viewed by my two children and my granddaughter, and any other immediate family members who wishes
to say their goodbyes to me.
Then I would like my body to be incinerated as soon as possible, with the ashes to be dispersed in the wind somewhere, to symbolize that I'm free at last. ( no urns for me)
And if my family wishes to have closure and remember me in their own special way, that's okay, but I don't want a service or a memorial. Just a get together is fine. And that's all I want really...but to each their own:)
Love and peace to all 
JMHO | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/19/2008 10:43:34 PM | You're all invited, btw. Unless you plan on being sad/crying. Then you're not invited.
But I am being serious that I'd like my funeral to be as happy/fun as humanly possible. don't think death is something to cry about. Missing someone sure, that sucks. But death is a part of life, I believe we go on to bigger and better things. So why be sad? | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/19/2008 10:56:07 PM | I agree with Fish-argh
My family knows I do not want anyone to wear black, unless it is something sexy.
I would prefer tie dyed shirts and Hawaiian shirts or a brightly colored dress.
I wan to be cremated and have may ashes tossed to the wind.
I did once want to be spread on a nude beach but I thought, I really don't want to be wedged in the crack of some fat, old guys butt . | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/19/2008 10:59:50 PM | i'm with Fish..argh on this....have a party...talk about Me me me ...lots... oh yeah, you'll have lots of stories...always had more braun (sp?) then brains ...
old soul...I know its your party and you can do what you want......but...actually...its not you won't be there....
I had neighbours that passed away and they didn't want a funeral...but dang...its not for them...its for the family and friends and neighbours who just want to get to together and hear and share and maybe learn more about you from someone who knew you from a different angle...its closure...my thoughts anyway | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/19/2008 11:30:15 PM | ^
.......a funeral (as we know it to be) would involve a showing of the deceased (either with an open casket or closed)......with friends and relatives paying their respects.
.....i guess Funerals can be conducted without religious themes.......deceased Communist leaders have given similar ceremonies........therefore there is no codex or dictum that says an atheist need not have a 'funeral' of some sort.......it just would not involve a religious backdrop! | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/19/2008 11:54:58 PM | | A funeral does not require some presence of a God or religion to be a funeral. A funeral is merely a gathering of people (usually family and friends) who come and mourn for someone that they have lost (although you sometimes get the random people who go to funerals to cheer themselves up, but they are strange). | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/20/2008 12:18:14 AM | My grandfather was an atheist who attended a uniterian universalist church. It was funny, the service was a discussion of his life and his charitable works, and a reading of a few of his favorite readings.
So there was some Martin Luther King Jr. Some Labour tracts, some Ghandi.
All very nice and upbeat, didn't stop people from crying, the man will be missed.
WAAAAY better than my sisters father in law's, freaking starting off with the born in sin everlasting hellfire doctrine.
I wish they had a vomit smiley. | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/20/2008 1:59:46 AM | What do you mean what do you say? It isn't about what you believe!!! Its about someone who died and their family is grieving. Who cares if you believe he is in hell. Some times you have to put aside your beliefs and just be human. Put your self in the families shoes and speak from your heart, not your bible.
Its shocking that people would put their belief before doing what Jesus would of done. and i don't mean raise him from the dead. Although the family would be grateful i'm sure. | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/20/2008 2:53:20 AM | "I'm so sorry". If you knew the deceased person you can be more personal and say: "He/she was a wonderful person and I will miss them". Even reminisce. But often best not until the sharpness of the grief has lessened. Your belief is irrelevant to their grief.
Personally, I don't believe in any god and I believe that those who die live on only in the hearts and memories of those who loved them. I would only attend a funeral of anyone, no matter how dear, if any of the people left alive specifically wanted me to be there to support them. I do think that bodies should be disposed of with respect and as quickly as possible. My pet rabbit of 11 years died just before Christmas and I had his body cremated because anything else seemed potentially gruesome. My thought is that perhaps his ashes may be buried in a sunny corner of a garden of a future home, or that they could be scattered with mine when it's my turn.
I like the idea of what makes up my body becoming one with the earth in this very special corner of Wales as I have an incredibly strong sense of belonging here, but really, I'll be dead and it will make no difference to me what happens. I hope that if anyone mourns me, they do whatever is most comforting to them. | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/20/2008 6:36:22 AM | {quote "Christians believe that "God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, and whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life"
{QUOTE "This thread isn't about those that believe this but those who did not and die suddenly. you know that they never claimed to believe it and chances are slim they believed it a few minutes before they died."quote ends}
- Aye Lass you can be saved in the twinkling of an eye. Talking, speach is not required, its the heart that God reads. That is faster than thoughts actually, as we 'feel ' it before formulating thoughts.
{QUOTE "....soo, the pain is very fresh, the funeral (maybe) is about to happen...and family isn't religious....what do you say to the them?....I would just like this thread to be about funerals...what do you say when you don't believe in Heaven? I can't say I have ever been to a completely atheist funeral'QUOTE ENDS}
- What do you say? You say how much that person meant to you. The good he did in this life , thats what the person would want. Acknowledgement of his existance and the effects that had on your life.
({QUOTE" ....all the ones I have been to played Amazing Grace...what is an atheist funeral like? and what would you like your funeral to be like? "END OF QUOTE}
- Amazing grace that saved such a wretch like me . It gives even loss causes like my self a hope. Guess that includes every human born on this planet. Remember, Jesus died on the cross not for the perfect, but for the wretch. So there is hope, Jesus didnt die for nothing, he wants us to accept. Like already mentioned, in the last nano second of life, the heart can believe.
{QUOTE" guess tis the season to be Merry really is over...sorry " QUOTE ENDS}
- no its not over. Remember . God has his hand open ready to accept. He isnt a lawyer, wanting paers drawn up. He wants our hearts to accept, nothing else, no master card, payment required.
He gave his son as a sacrifice to us, so are you telling me he doesant want acceptance? Guaranteed hon, at the very last second, lots of people believe.
So have a beer, celebrate the mans life , and leave it all in Gods hands. Remember though, he wants us with him,otherwise his sons sacrifice was for nothing. | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/20/2008 8:15:31 AM |
Christians believe that "God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, and whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life"
As a Christian I truly believe this statement. Also I think it is pretty self explanatory.
what do you say to the them?....
The same things that you would say to some one that believed in Heaven. The whole idea of a funeral is to come together, Celebrate that person’s like, and to say Good bye. We humans are social creatures so we tend to grieve together.
I have been to a few Atheist’s Funerals. They were no different, in concept of a believer’s funeral. Their lives were discussed, shared, and felt one last time in a huge group setting. The pain was still there for the loss of a loved one. The difference was no hymns, nor was prayers said.
My funeral, I want to be Cremated, I have this thing about lying in the ground to be dug up again, to make room for a new housing complex. So long ago, I made my decisions. I want to be spread over the waters of my beloved Sitka Sound.
My “Wake” I want that to be filled with laughter, music, food, and dance. I also don’t want them to dress up for it. Wear your most comfortable clothes drag out the grills. I want my final goodbyes on this world to reflect how I lived. All of things that are important to me, the laughter, and the joy of just being alive, if you want to cry fine do it briefly and let me go to fly. I also believe the “wake” is more important for the people I have left behind;
Funerals don’t really bother me since I believe we are all in the process of transition in this life. We are always moving towards the next step. | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/20/2008 8:42:13 AM | Religion to me isn't the be all and end all, far from it!
Belief is a personal thing BUT sharing your belief with others who feel likewise is comforting. I wouldn't want anyone to grieve for me - the thought is too painful and unnecessary, because I don't accept that we cease to exist! Yes our bodies die, but the body is only a shell... in truth I believe nature provides us with the answer... look at the "deadness" of winter; it transforms itself into spring... How can we be anything less than that?
My “Wake” I want that to be filled with laughter, music, food, and dance. I also don’t want them to dress up for it.
Yes... I couldn't agree more sassysky... it's a new beginning! Love or God wouldn't give you anything less than existence. We were not born just to procreate and cease to be... there is no sense in that. | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/20/2008 8:47:13 AM | First of all I would like to say that NO human being knows what someone else's relationship with "God" is. That's in the heart and between that person and deity. So there is no way to know WHAT that person's afterlife will entail. To even THINK that one can know that is the epitome of arrogance and self-righteousness.
As for funerals... I would say you would show the same respect that you would at anyone's. Anything less is reprehensible.
I don't want a funeral... just donate my organs, if possible, and cremate me (preferable a pyre!) and scatter me on the ocean. Then have a good Irish wake and remember the good things. Play some kick @ss music to send me off.
Peace | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/20/2008 8:52:03 AM | Let's put it this way...
I don't believe John 3:16.
I also know exactly what's going to happen to me in death, and it's gonna be the same as what happens to everybody regardless of their actions in life (unless some people are reincarnated first).
I won't pretend this is just an opinion, because I've mulled over this for long enough.
Just trust that the Christian description of heaven is not far off.
~ David | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/20/2008 9:07:01 AM |
I won't pretend this is just an opinion, because I've mulled over this for long enough. It doesn't matter how long you mull it. It can never be more than just an opinion. Feeling that your belief is knowledge only makes you more delusional that someone who accepts that belief is no more than belief. | |
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| what do you do/say when someone dies who didn't believe John 3:16
Posted: 1/20/2008 10:29:54 AM |
I can't say I have ever been to a completely atheist funeral....all the ones I have been to played Amazing Grace...what is an atheist funeral like? and what would you like your funeral to be like?
Others have said it well... Funerals are for the living, for remembrance, and celebrating life-- both of the deceased and of the living.
ONE thing has NOT been said... NEVER bring up your John 3:16 or any other religious dogma at a funeral where it isn't accepted. Keep it to yourself. Along with John 3:16, here are a few OTHER things that you should be keel-hauled for saying:
"He's in a better place."
"God works in mysterious ways."
"She's with the angels now."
or anything else about your Heaven, Hell, judgment, or bible.
Personally, I'm not sure about this entire thread. It seems self-evident that you wouldn't bring YOUR religion into someone else's funeral. I mean, if you went to a Jewish funeral, would you talk about JESUS?
James, Port Orchard, Washington, USA, Earth | |
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Right on, doll. I'll prop a beer in yer hand, if I have one to spare.
