| Profile Review - Need ideas to create more activity
Posted: 1/20/2008 10:55:57 AM | I have been here since August. I have met a few folks here and they have been enjoyable. But the reason for me asking for advice and feedback is that I would like to improve my profile to both get more women emailing me as well as a higher response rate to messages I send out. I would like feedback from both my pictures as well as the content of my profile. I would especially like the feedback from the ladies but all feedback is welcome.
Thanks in advance.
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| Profile Review - Need ideas to create more activity
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:18:55 AM | OP: Finally someone has decided to post here for you! I read your profile and well the one word that comes to mind is, Rigid. You sound so formal and rigid in your writing. Things like, "As for who I am looking for", "I am also looking for people who are good communicators", and "First and foremost I am looking for good people"; give me the impression that your serious side far out ways your funnier, lighter side. It was almost like a was reading a life insurance policy covering the benefits of what will happen to me when I die. Sort of dry, formal writing. I suggest being less formal sounding. Be a little more exciting with your words. Not over the top or anything but more personable. Your pictures are fine, but I would suggest using your last picture as your main...better close up face shot and your smiling...I think it's the best. Hope this helps and Good Luck!
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| Profile Review - Need ideas to create more activity
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:38:41 AM | Thank you very much for the feedback.
I guess I am so used to doing formal writing for work and I am so conscious of my grammar and spelling that I forgot about making it fun and interesting. That is very good feedback and I thank you again for stepping up.
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| Profile Review - Need ideas to create more activity
Posted: 1/21/2008 2:31:07 PM | | On the one hand your profile probably turns off a lot of women who are afraid of being judged by an intellectual and might be afraid you'll correct their grammar. On the other hand women who are intellectual are probably turned off by the misuse of the word "moniker". Makes you seem like a pseudointellectual to them. You're attractive enough - the good are not the problem. It's the words. | |
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| Profile Review - Need ideas to create more activity
Posted: 1/21/2008 2:40:52 PM | | Yup, I agree with that other person. Also, I noticed you begin almost every sentence with an "I." And, not to sound like I know anything about writing - because I don't; but one thing that makes it sound so rigid is you don't use contractions. Seems to me, "I'm" instead of "I am" would make it read more like you're speaking it. Just my opinion. | |
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| Profile Review - Need ideas to create more activity
Posted: 1/21/2008 3:50:02 PM | Yeah, I like the last picture or the second better for your main pic.
But, all in all, your profile sounds nice enough, a few errors but no dealbreaker kind of stuff, really. What you need is a "hook"....something to make someone think "I gotta meet this guy!"
Let's see....try a first sentence zinger! | |
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| Profile Review - Need ideas to create more activity
Posted: 1/22/2008 3:56:28 AM | Hi jestrada, you sound a nice person who can and does converse well with others, but it does not show well on here, it really does look like an essay written for a tutor.. Also look at repeats ...'learning' 'person' etc, you can compact these sections.. And hey if you are a clown and can make me smile.. show me! Maybe try writing it as you would a very close friend so instead of 'Im lookin for people who' it would read more 'I would love to meet' '
Etc.. And i like the pic with the hand on your shoulder, just to add to the pic vote! Hope this helps x | |
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| Profile Review - Need ideas to create more activity
Posted: 1/23/2008 5:17:58 AM | I experiment with what's on my profile and change / add to / remove some of the 'stuff' that's written on it and update my pictures every few weeks. So, it kind of evolves over time, sometimes not always for the better, but you get more experienced at refining it.
Try different approaches, update your info, improve it gradually, have a look at what other people are doing with their profiles, shake it around a bit so it's not obvious. Something else I've tried with varying success, is to mail women who've browsed my profile and ask them if there was anything they liked or disliked about it.
Good luck  | |
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| Profile Review - Need ideas to create more activity
Posted: 2/1/2008 11:06:43 PM | Hi, OP! I'm back to check on you. I like the new profile, looks good, starts out nicely. To be honest, I didn't read the whole thing, but it starts out nicely. However, I don't like the header "Challenge me and I'm yours". That sounds like work to me. Aren't the men supposed to do all the work?  | |
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