| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:06:29 AM | I pretty much know what most women are going to say....especially in Los Angeles, CA.
Now, I am a man who is not on the stabilized side of life....yet. I am a late bloomer when it comes to being proactive. I just want to know where are the women who dont necessarily need a man to stabilized at first meet, but will stick around to see if things change.
I am what you call the "epitome of women's disgust"....which is no job or car....due to my passion being film and screenwriting. So, I am a struggling artist of expression. However, I am not a vegetable....I am working towards my goals more so now, than in years past.
Back in the 5o's, women seemed more willing to stick for the long haul...no matter what. You could be struggling and still have a woman strong enough to be stay by your side. When things got better, she was there. When things got worse, she was there.
It hurts me sometimes to know that the amount of women who were like this.....is disappearing. Sometimes I think the change of women's strides in the business world had something to do with this switch. No, I am not intimidated by a successful or independent woman.....I like it, actually.
However, its a love hate type of feeling. The independent woman feels she doesnt need a man....anymore. She has become self-sufficient....to the affect of taking on the male role pretty much. So good men, like myself, that have not cracked that success door open, get pushed aside or eliminated.
Then the women complain about not finding a good man. Its because you guys are looking in the wrong place. Some of us are struggling....and need a lift of encouragement from you.....because I still believe that
"behind a successful man, is a strong woman".
I hate to say this....but I have never in my 32 years of life met a woman dedicated to a man for better or for worse. Its probably because I live in such a fake city....Los Angeles. Everything is a damn movie here....which is funny because film is my career choice.
So there you go folks....Im stuck. | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:35:26 AM | | for a time i had no job or car by choice. i lived with a bunch of alchoholic partiers and got more girls that year than any previous. or since. looking back its a bit remarkable | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:49:06 AM | I was going to have your back on this... but then I read your profile... you have a long list of what you want... and so therefore need to accept that you won't always be what someone else wants... not everything we want comes packaged as we would like.. or with the exact contents.. sometimes we need to go outside the box of our thinking... and we can find what we need...
for better or worse... goes both ways.. and has to do with more than just money and material things.. | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/21/2008 11:14:20 AM | | You might have some luck. I think it is great to have a dream, a plan. But at 32 you need to come up with plan B. You have narrowed your selection of women so much, it might be difficult to locate the woman of your dreams--with money until you "make it". I think based on what I determine a woman of choice to be--from your list--you are going to need loads of money to support her. Hope your ship comes in. | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/21/2008 11:37:14 AM | I can't afford to take that chance. Most women can't if they are out making a living. It has nothing to do with location. This is true in Los Angeles or Des Moines.
Back in the 5o's, women seemed more willing to stick for the long haul...no matter what. You could be struggling and still have a woman strong enough to be stay by your side. When things got better, she was there. When things got worse, she was there. In the 50's women had less choices. They had no chances for self fulfillment. When things got worse, she did not have much of a choice whether to be there or not, because divorce was considered a very last resort.
Oh, and also in the 50's a man your age still pursuing his passions, despite a lack of success, who was not working full time in a career was called shiftless or lazy. It was not the idyllic time you imagine it to be. You might want to rethink turning back the clock.
Because women have become self sufficient, they can afford to be a lot more selective.
Then the women complain about not finding a good man. Its because you guys are looking in the wrong place. Some of us are struggling....and need a lift of encouragement from you.....because I still believe that So, you are saying you are needy? You want the love and support, and what are you giving in return? If a woman who enters a relationship with you has to work full time to support herself, let alone children you might produce together, she is just not going to have the time to give all of that to you. What exactly do you want? Someone to stare at you and tell your how wondrous you are? If you are pursuing a passion you don't need encouragement, because it is a passion and you cannot be swayed from it.
behind a successful man, is a strong woman". This is often quoted and just as often misquoted. No source has the exact same quote, and it is unattributed. You can define it in a variety of ways... One way to look at it, is that she has been loving and supportive. Another way is that she nagged him into it.
Do I need to even go into the countless men who have had a woman that did stick behind him during the "worse" who were thrown over for a younger, prettier model when the men they loved and supported eventually became successful with their help. Then were vilified for having the gall to think they were entitled to anything in a divorce.
A big part of the reason that women have become self sufficient, is because we have had to.
I just want to know where are the women who dont necessarily need a man to stabilized at first meet, but will stick around to see if things change. Yes, but your problem is that they are usually in high school. Try hanging out at the mall after school. It is also highly dependent on any given woman and her definition of a "good man."
I hate to say this....but I have never in my 32 years of life met a woman dedicated to a man for better or for worse. And you may not find that with your copious laundry list of requirements.
Sorry, that kind of dedication has to be earned. | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/21/2008 11:44:37 AM | It's kind of hard to take a man seriously about wanting a deep commitment with a strong woman by his side to offer him unconditional support, for better and for worse ... when the top priority on his wish list for said woman is a pair of double D's.
Am I the only one who sees something "off" about this picture? | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/21/2008 1:00:55 PM |
Oh, and also in the 50's a man your age still pursuing his passions, despite a lack of success, who was not working full time in a career was called shiftless or lazy. It was not the idyllic time you imagine it to be. You might want to rethink turning back the clock.
Only in the 50's?
I would still use those terms today.
I have a few friends that work in the world of film, various positions etc.
Do you know what the number 1 most used phrase by actors is?
A. "My name is ________ I will be your waiter this evening"
No matter how you slice it, brother, you have been out of HS for at least 14 years. I don't know (I didn't look that closely at your profile) if you attended university, if you did you at least have a film degree to go with your lack of a real job. If you didn't then you are basically saying you are a starving artist, that has as of yet to produce anything.
You are not looking for a mate, you are looking for a sugar mommy, oh, you can put varying title to that, but if all you bring to the table is a desire to succeed, and so far after 14 years of dedication, you are still failing, you are bringing to the table pipe dreams and a lost cause.
In the 50's you would be called shiftless. Here today you are just called foolish.
--Serenity | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/21/2008 1:38:20 PM | Would I take a chance? Based on what I have read in your profile, and in this post, the answer would be a resounding, NO.
Sugar coat it all you want sir, but it looks to me like you're trolling for a sugar momma. Hey, whatever works man, but in my experience, you get what you give in any relationship, and what exactly is it that you'd be contributing?
"As far as my situation...well, I am an unemployed actor and screenwriter."
OK well try Dominoes, I hear they are always hiring. Do you honestly think that having a menial job, is better than none at all?
I put "LONG TERM" up because thats what I am inevitably looking for...because I dont do the short term stuff. When I meet people, its for life. However, my status automatically eliminates me from the dating scene. I have no car, no job, and Im struggling to start a film career. And this business is not easy to get in.
Again I ask you, why WOULD a woman want to date you? She'd have to pay for the dates herself, drive herself to and from, and probably keep herself from getting bored. Gee, sounds like fun. Actually, it kinda sounds like going out with friends-well except the keeping yourself entertained part anyway.
So, instead of using this as a means to date...I will use it for research. Right now, Im working on a romantic drama story, that I want to pitch to producers...especially the one I worked with on "Color of the Cross: Resurrection".
Silly me, I thought this was a DATING site, not a site to promote your lameass youtube video.
I know many things about women because I was raised by three women. But there are some things I still can learn.
And NONE of these women mentioned to you that unemployed actors with no vehicles are not exactly a hot commodity? They obviously are lacking in their judgement.
Good Luck Dude. | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/21/2008 1:55:56 PM | Apparently.
From my experience in life, sitting at rock-bottom in life is fine as long as you're making an honest attempt to put your life together. But if you're sitting around waiting for your big break in acting/producing/writing/etc with no logical fall back plan in case that doesn't happen, well, re-arrange the deck chairs on the Titanic all you want, but you're still sinking.
 to you | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/21/2008 3:04:16 PM | OP, I'm an Cancer, a size 8, a D-cup and I and work in West LA, although not in the entertainment biz. LOL
Here's my opinion. You have an awful lot of "prefreneces" in regards to the type of woman you want. And that's fine...everyone has their preferences. You're a good looking guy and you're following your dream - that's good too. Nothing wrong with that.
However, everyone else has a right to their preferences too. Some women would be ok with a struggling guy who sincerely is trying. Some wouldn't and everyone's reasons are different. I personally wouldn't, that being because I'm in my 40s and I'm not interested in entering a new realtionship at this point that I'm the sole supporter in. When I was younger, I was with a guitar player who was trying to break into the business. At the time I was Ok with it. He really was trying.
In the 50s, women were expected to be married and settled and supported by the man by the time they were 25. Women have lots more choices now. It's a different world.
And as others have pointed out, you don't come across as sincere. You're trying to promote yourself while looking for a hottie to support you. Good luck with that, you may find her! You are right about one thing though..LA is full of fake. And if you are only interested in the gold digging "hollywood" types, you'll keep finding yourself frustrated. There's lots of regular gals in LA too..you're just looking in the wrong places. | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/21/2008 11:37:25 PM | My best relationship with a woman developed when I was at the very bottom.
I had lost a lot (one of those divorce story things), had to give up my home, and was living in my car for an extended period but continued to work on interesting projects, just as you are doing.
She is practical and financially wise but says that she had been watching my work since before she returned to the US where we met (the exact quote from her China days was "Damn. He's good." Now there's a compliment not to be ignored! LOL) and she was drawn to what she said was strength under bad circumstances...though the truth really is that I was no superman, just some guy trying to get by. I'm still just a regular guy with no superman cape.
Yet after I got back on my feet and thought I would be a more desirable catch, I found it practically impossible to meet women anywhere. Just goes to show, ya just never know.
Women don't want to subject themselves to falling for a perceived financial liability but even when you are back on top, they may not exactly come running back into your life.
Life is strange, ain't it? | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/22/2008 4:33:05 AM | | I understand where you are coming from. But after dealing with a man who could spend more than we could ever make and not think a thing of it. I want stability. I am not talking rich. I am talking--someone who will hold up his end of the relationship financially. Some might call it baggage, I call it financial planning. | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/23/2008 7:26:16 AM | I have been to the bottom and helped some other creams rise to the top, all for naught. It's a tough thing to have faith and care enough about someone to want to help them succeed, which may be detrimental to yourself. I just say follow the path to the end of the line and to thine own self be true. Too many people know what they don't want and not enough know what they do want. Expressing clear cut goals, boundaries and needs is healthy, but remaining flexible is just as important.
I left Los Angeles in June 2007 and it is a tough city to get along in. I will tell you that my kids dad is in the industry, and we lived in San Diego County all the while he was making it. He would drive 2 hours for a 10 minute audition, and then be rejected. It took him 20 years to make it, and now he works completely from his studio at his home still in SD. He is rep'd in LA and NY by some of the best agencies. But we paid paid a price for his career and that was our marriage. I supported him throughout, and I'm amazed at his tenacity which really made the difference.
Keep on keeping on. This may not be the time to have a "relationship". Good Luck | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/23/2008 5:21:09 PM | With the economy the way it is, I have met many that are going thru some very tough times. If you haven't been hit yet, just wait, it will get to you eventually!
I only wish prosperity and happiness for all!  | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/24/2008 3:24:57 PM | I struggled due to this economy and my choice of career.
To the point to where I slept in my truck for about a week, waiting for a paycheck. A guy sleeping in his truck would be stereotyped as a unmotivated loser, uneducated bum with no job, right? At that time, I had two jobs, trying my best to get out of my situation and just enrolled in school to get a master's degree. I got dumped by my GF of a year at this time too with her saying I have no ambition. WTF?! I think she meant money.
But life ain't about who never gets knocked down. It's about gettng up after it kicks your ass each and every time. I still have two jobs, I'm still getting my master's. But at least I have a roof now...baby steps. | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/24/2008 3:55:40 PM | | I guess the difference is you are working two jobs to get yourself out of the position you are in while getting your master's degree, not looking for someone else to take care of you. I could respect what you are doing, but OP, sorry dude, not interested at all. | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/24/2008 4:28:56 PM | I am with barbe, Nachos is working hard to improve himself and with such dedication and hard work it is a matter of time and the right networking before you get where you want to go.
The OP is using his CHOICE not to work and not to take care of his own business as an excuse to bash other people for not seeing the world as he sees it.
I do agree people in LA are very shallow but at the same time you have to see what you are doing beyond the shallow. You are not working hard. You are not being a man and taking care of your own business, you are not thinking of other ways to make money.
I have a cousin who is working as an actor in LA. He is not the greatest but he loves what he does. He is taking care of his own business because he not only works in theater but also does voice over work, works with actors on marketing themselves and works at whatever job he can do that will be flexible with his audition and rehearsal schedules. He also works tirelessly to audition and works hard at his craft. That is much different than what the OP is describing. There are people who work to make their dreams come true and there are people who wait for someone to give them their dreams and b!tch and whine when it doesn't happen.
Sorry OP, no sympathy here. | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/24/2008 5:08:56 PM | OP,
man at bottom? ...your NOT at bottom. You have a goal, that’s way ahead of men who really are at bottom!
From reading ur bio… it sounds like 'a calling' ...you possess a clear straight look at your end goal.
Then the women complain about not finding a good man. Its because you guys are looking in the wrong place. Some of us are struggling....and need a lift of encouragement from you...because I still believe that
"behind a successful man, is a strong woman".
That to me says, your a one woman man, along with your 50's reference, your 'old-fashioned'... (now who taught you that?? 'in ur 32 yrs never seen'....etc... Mom?)
Upon meeting my man...was in a 'time of bottom'. Wisdom and life experiences I‘ve had, allowed/forces me to hang back during his time of 'inner growth development'. Oh, it's not been easy !! Heck no, but love is blind....I'm so mad at my heart because it knows no better...and my mind has to go along with it. errrrrrrrrrrrr
He's still ‘a work in progress‘, and has a 'long term goal in mind'. He is a Capricorn as well, maybe it's just what you guys do? Cap Men are they just harder on themselves?
In close, you know what you want, you want one lady, and she's working her way to you at this very moment....somewhere out there. Stay focused on what you want for a career, OP, don’t push for a 'muse' to lift your spirits...that’s not wife material | |
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| Men At The Bottom...Would You Take A Chance ?
Posted: 1/24/2008 6:30:19 PM |
Back in the 5o's, women seemed more willing to stick for the long haul...no matter what.
Weren't women mostly house wives in the 50's? Men as well were not late bloomers in the 50's were they?...I was under the impression men started providing for themselves and/or a family early?
I think women have dreams and aspirations as well as men.
Sorry I don't really understand your question -- if there is one. Not clear what you are seeking? A 'non-succesful woman' who will work for your aspirations? Or a 'successful woman' who will assist you? Confusing to me (sorry). | |
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