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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/21/2008 9:52:48 PM | So, a few months ago I dated a woman I would be inclined to call a radical feminist. I personally had a ball, and enjoyed most of it tremendously. Coming from a conservative Christian background, it was interesting seeing her point of view though the fights we would occasionally have were exceedingly passionate. We lasted for around seven months. Now, I've come away with a new perspective on life and women, but I'm not entirely sure that the view I have adopted is accurate. To be honest, I'm confused. So, I'm making a list and would live a vote on which ones are yes and which ones are no.
(1) Opening doors for the lady
(2) Shaving (Ladies)
(3) Telling the man that you're about to abort his and your child.
(4) Men paying for dinner
(5) Gifts, just because
(6) Cooking (women for men AND men for women)
(7) Household chores (men)
(8) Driver (men or women)
(9) Religion for child (Father or mothers)
I was just curious to know where people stood on this. I'm fairly certain her views weren't the mainstream, but it's hard to keep things straight. lol. | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:15:17 PM | Not sure this is what you are looking for...but here goes
(1) Opening doors for the lady - depends whose hands are full, but it is a nice gesture that I enjoy. Manners never go out of style, even though they are lacking these days.
(2) Shaving - Legs? underarms? "unmentionables"? (Ladies)
(3) Telling the man that you're about to abort his and your child. - NEVER and not because I am pro-life, but because it takes two people to create that child and fathers have rights, as does the unborn child (oooooo controversy here)
(4) Men paying for dinner - depends on many things (finances, timing, etc.) but I like to see a guy who is not demeaned because I want to pay for the dinner sometimes.
(5) Gifts, just because - YES, but not extravagant ones.
(6) Cooking (women for men AND men for women) YES, showing creativity and an opportunity to give of oneself.
(7) Household chores (men) - YES, equal for both (not one person doing it all)
(8) Driver (men or women) - Either or ... depends on the day ... just don't refuse to hand over the wheel until you are past the point that you are too tired to continue
(9) Religion for child (Father or mothers) - Depends on the people... for me YES, a framework for the child to build on...even if they decide that your religion is not the one of their choice. | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:18:52 PM | For the shaving part, I wasn't trying to get specific. She had issues shaving her underarms and her legs, I grew to accept it from her, but if I had my wishes. lol.
Yes! Thank you, this is the sort of thing I was looking for :) | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:20:42 PM | sometimes (1) Opening doors for the lady
Depends where (2) Shaving (Ladies)
Depends on circumstances (3) Telling the man that you're about to abort his and your child.
50/50 (4) Men paying for dinner
Why not (5) Gifts, just because
sounds fair (6) Cooking (women for men AND men for women)
get a housekeeper (7) Household chores (men)
be my guest, but I love to drive (8) Driver (men or women)
dump it altogether (9) Religion for child (Father or mothers) | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:25:30 PM | | I don't have a problem with any of them either way except number 3....and to me that's just plain murder. Sorry, that's one I don't compromise on. | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:33:51 PM |
(1) Opening doors for the lady
I try to do it when possible, but I prefer to focus on the "big picture" of chivalry rather than gestures like door-opening. I live in Texas; this has never been frowned upon. Among people over, say, 35, this would actually be expected and it would be considered rude if I didn't.
(2) Shaving (Ladies)
I guess this is referring to women shaving their legs? I prefer when a woman shaves her legs. I shave my legs too, though, even though I never wear shorts. I just prefer it that way.
(3) Telling the man that you're about to abort his and your child.
I'm unconditionally pro-life. I don't expect to have a child outside of marriage, so it shouldn't be so much of an issue. But assuming I did, I'd do everything I could to talk her out of it, including giving her the option to disappear w/o worrying about child support or any other strings as long as she gives me the child after it's born.
(4) Men paying for dinner
I pay for dinner because it seems to be expected in Texas, and because I like the girl enough to do anything for her. In my previous long-term relationship, though, we often did Dutch, or she would pay for it. She was a lot wealthier than me. I don't consider men paying for dinner to be an essential part of the chivalric ideal.
(5) Gifts, just because
All the time!
(6) Cooking (women for men AND men for women)
Whatever works best. If I start a family and do the working, then my wife will probably cook. If she does the working, I'll do the cooking. I'm indifferent as to which sex gets the breadwinner/homemaker responsibilities, but I believe that one should stay home, rather than have two career parents, as far as it's possible.
7) Household chores (men)
Men should do at least some of the house chores no matter what. But see what I wrote above.
(8) Driver (men or women)
I never thought about it. I have absolutely zero female friends who drive. They all seem terrified of the very idea of driving. My mom does drive, though, and she hates it when I drive her around because she's slow, and I'm fast.
(9) Religion for child (Father or mothers)
I have no problem with interreligious dating, but the one who marries me will have to convert to mine, if she isn't it already. That's actually the only term of agreement I have. And regarding the kids, they would be baptized shortly after birth, my wife would be churched one month after (the churching of women is an old custom rarely observed anymore), and the children would be raised and educated in our faith. Solid theology, too; not fluffy stuff or rote memorization. Mini-chapel in the home with altar, stained glass windows, candles and incense, and a stoup near the front door to dip your fingers in the holy water. I thought about homeschooling once, but then I went to a university for a semester where most of the kids were homeschooled, and it just didn't feel right. I'd send my kids to my church's parochial school instead for K thru 12 (where I work as a teacher's aide now, anyway). They have an excellent classical education, BTW, which teaches Greek and Latin. | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:35:12 PM | Here is my 2 cents
(1) Opening doors for the lady
-- This is something I do. I don't do it for them, I do it for me. It sounds selfish but chivalry is alive and well in this old fashion guy.
(2) Shaving (Ladies) - This is a basic grooming habit just like brushing our teeth and taking a shower. Without it, sorry it just doesn't work just as someone with bad breath or bad body odor.
(3) Telling the man that you're about to abort his and your child.
-- This is a decision that is made by both parties. Both parties values and points of view should be weighed equally. You are talking about making a decision about a human life not just the woman or the man. Personally anyone who thinks it is "her decision and her decision only" is pretty damn selfish to the other two plus lives this effects.
(4) Men paying for dinner
-- I am generous when the people I am with are worthy of my generosity. I don't see it as a requirement or a right given to all women because they are women. I see it as a privilege granted to the few that deserve it and have earned it.
(5) Gifts, just because
-- I think this is a good thing for anyone to do. I do preclude that it is truely just because not for a guilt present or a "you better buy this for me or you don't love me" hostage present. Those are totally different in my mind.
(6) Cooking (women for men AND men for women)
-- I am a horrible cook by choice. I eat healthy and don't care much for taste. My plans are to have my own chef so no one has to deal with it. Of course we would both choose the chef so his/her cooking style matches our pallet.
(7) Household chores (men)
-- I don't like cleaning hence I have a maid. I would continue this whenever I get married. We have better things to do with our time than clean the house.
(8) Driver (men or women)
-- There are too many bad drivers out there both men and women. I will only let people drive that I deem to be good drivers. I have taken many race school and advance driving school classes so I know a good driver almost immediately. My life is too precious to put in the hands of a reckless or poor driver.
(9) Religion for child (Father or mothers)
-- Religion should be decided way ahead of time. I am not particularly religious but I am very spiritual. As such I would like my children to know and experience all religions and let them make their individual decisions when they are ready to do so. There is never a default decision based on sex or importance to me.
Again, just my 2 and a half cents (too long to be just 2  ) | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:42:50 PM | Well, 8 of the 9 things on the list are pretty ordinary and not serious, then we have #3:
Telling the man that you're about to abort his and your child.
This one does not seem to fit the tone of the other things on the list which makes me curious if this is the one it is all about? | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/21/2008 10:54:03 PM | (1) Opening doors for the lady
It's a nice touch...when it is practical. I think most ladies appreciate it.
(2) Shaving (Ladies)
I think it is nice for men to shave ladies.
(3) Telling the man that you're about to abort his and your child.
He should not be "told", it should be discussed.
(4) Men paying for dinner
Does he want to get "lucky" or not? j/k...depends on who asked who out.
(5) Gifts, just because
Gimmee, gimmee, gimmee
(6) Cooking (women for men AND men for women)
Certainly! I prefer my food cooked.
(7) Household chores (men)
He is just simply not going to do them right.
(8) Driver (men or women)
Who's sober?
(9) Religion for child (Father or mothers)
Why not teach/practice both? If a choice must be made, let the child make it when old enough. | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/21/2008 11:01:08 PM | 1) Opening doors for the lady
* yes, it just feels nice and protective
(2) Shaving (Ladies)
* note sure what you mean by this one. We shave, they shave, we all shave. Trying to sleep with prickly legs...ewwwwwwwwww
(3) Telling the man that you're about to abort his and your child.
*There's thing, its called birth control. Amazing thing. You don't have to have these types of discussions.
(4) Men paying for dinner
*this is joint. Sometimes they do, sometimes I do (it's always nice if they offer at first though just so you know they aren't a cheap wadd and it will be a balanced thing).
(5) Gifts, just because
* Yes but he gets them too, nothing big...just I'm thinking of you kind of stuff (me flowers, him hardware).
(6) Cooking (women for men AND men for women)
* I tended to do the cooking but they had to do the dishes
(7) Household chores (men)
*both but really, can't we hire a maid?
(8) Driver (men or women)
* yep but I actually like letting the guys drive and they seem to like to do the driving. I get to enjoy the scenery more. Win/Win situation.
(9) Religion for child (Father or mothers)
* deep discussion before the child is even born. What is best for the child and we can both live with. | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/21/2008 11:12:07 PM | Nothing wrong with being a traditional man, as long as you don't expect a women to be barefoot and pregnant most of the town.
I always open doors, I even open the car door (always)
I love to cook for a women, and make drinks!!....lol
I hate chores, though, I have a cleaning lady that comes in and takes care of me, instead of women I'm in a relationship with. Being single has its perks and drawbacks
I pay for dinner, if she pays for dessert, or something to that affet. I refuse to supplicate to women who wish to get free meals.
I will show up with a gift out of the blue, just out of appreciation, it's usually something cute and pertains to her likes or something she mentioned earlier
good post OP | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/21/2008 11:41:50 PM | Kathryn answered pretty close to what I would say. I don't consider myself a feminist just a woman searching for a world in which couples can have a more or less 50/50 relationship recognizing that this is something that is constantly in flux and also dependent on what individuals bring to the table. I was also raised by a working mother in an era during which most of my friends' moms stayed home until middle or high school, so I believe I am fairly enlightened about the ability to have a career and family and the sacrifices that must be made to do so. I figured perhaps I could add most to the discussion if I approached it from what I teach my sons but also my daughter.
Opening doors - boys better do it, daughter should hesitate before a door to allow the boy/man to open it, obviously if his hands are full she can and should be a gentleman too. It is polite and shows a willingness to make an effort on the guy's part and for the boys, if she would make you open the door when your hands are full, tells you she is probably high maintenance.
Shaving - is a convention that most people keep in America but there are times when I let mine go a bit because of sensitive skin. Daughter would probably rather die without razor, boys probably don't care yet but will probably jump on the shaving bandwagon.
Not touching three
Men paying for dinner - daughter will always have enough money to pay for whatever she might be expected to pay for and offering to pay is also something she should do but again it shows an effort on a male's part; boys should probably pay for dinner but a girl that offers is probably someone that won't expect you to carry the whole load.
Gifts, just because - cool and a nice gesture from women or men, can really perk up someone's day. Despite the way things ended, one of the things I tell the kids about their father was that his thoughtfulness by doing small things for me was something that really impressed me.
Cooking - all of my children have been taught to cook from the time they were eight, no boys or girls are getting out of this house without knowing how to take care of themselves; boys do laundry and middle son just took life skills so I don't even have to teach him to sew.
Household chores - all three children are accustomed to me installing ceiling fans and know how I feel about their dad sitting on his rear while I did 97% of the housework so they have all learned to do everything and the boys in particular know that I expect them to pull their weight in the home or I will really be disappointed in them.
Driver - I prefer to drive but I think most people do, it is the control thing, and my children prefer to drive with me, so I think it will depend on circumstances but I don't see my daughter being chauffered 100% and I don't see my sons needing to drive.
Religion for child - religion would depend on how important the faith of the man and woman individually are. If one person feels strongly about his/her religion and it doesn't clash with the way the other party believes, that is what I would pick as a couple whether mine or his. If it is like Christian and Jewish or something and both felt strongly about their religion, I would think you expose the children to both and allow them to decide. This is what I would tell my kids if they ask | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/21/2008 11:42:13 PM | (1) Opening doors for the lady
Depends on who is in front when we reach the door.
(2) Shaving (Ladies)
I prefer it.
(3) Telling the man that you're about to abort his and your child.
Just speaking personally, I wouldn't mind. In general, most men would want a say in the issue.
(4) Men paying for dinner
100% of the time? No. Unless things balance out elsewhere. On a date? I offer. I ask "are you sure" exactly once. And then either I pay, or I let them pay, or we split it based on what she said. Anyone who is upset that I didn't force the issue or put up more of an argument is unlikely to be taken seriously.
(5) Gifts, just because
Absolutely.
(6) Cooking (women for men AND men for women)
Absolutely. Granted, I tend to prefer my own cooking, and so far I haven't dated anyone who preferred their cooking to mine, but when the offer comes up, I'm glad to let her cook.
(7) Household chores (men)
Split. No one should do everything.
(8) Driver (men or women)
No car, no license. I need a chauffeur. For normal people, I'd say, it's totally irrelevant.
(9) Religion for child (Father or mothers)
See answer to #3. In general, if the mother happens to be Jewish I do think that takes precedence, though I don't imagine it would come up as an issue. Otherwise, it should be talked over and the answer will depend on the people involved. | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/21/2008 11:49:43 PM | (1) Opening doors for the lady(yes and for men too)
(2) Shaving (Ladies)(yes ,but even i have my lazy winter times)
(3) Telling the man that you're about to abort his and your child.(i don't believe in abortion)
(4) Men paying for dinner(no it's dutch all the way)
(5) Gifts, just because(yes from both though)
(6) Cooking (women for men AND men for women)(i like to cook but would not object if once in awhile he wants too)
(7) Household chores (men)(both)
(8) Driver (men or women)(whoever is in the mood,but honestly i prefer the man to drive)
(9) Religion for child (Father or mothers)(we would already be the same religion if in a serious relationship.I don't date outside my religion) | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/21/2008 11:57:52 PM | (1) Opening doors for the lady.
Why not add buying drinks to this as well?
If it is *expected*, no. Otherwise sure. Just how independent can you (not) be though, if you require doors to be opened for you. It's, not, that, hard  (for your typical average person).
My ex pulled me up on this once, the whole opening doors thing (really opened up a can of worms  ). After thinking about it, quite rude really. It would be like a guy saying, well you're a woman, I'm a guy, where's my sex tonight? It's insensitive, not to mention stupid.
2) Shaving (Ladies)
Putting aside arms/legs (& face if need be). Not a big deal, but guess being shaved may make giving oral more pleasurable (& yeah, I'm generalising here).
(3) Telling the man that you're about to abort his and your child.
Well, in a serious relationship a woman ought to discuss it with their spouse & make a decision together. Granted, it's the woman that has to (directly) go through the whole being pregnant & giving birth, but I would think the guy should have some say in the matter.
(4) Men paying for dinner
Depends. First formal encounter/date, no. Again, see (1).
(5) Gifts, just because
OP; here, have a pressie, just because   
Have done. Probably would again. Not for someone I hardly know though .
(6) Cooking (women for men AND men for women)
I'm not big on cooking, not even for myself, though I have done.
(7) Household chores (men)
I don't like having to clean up after others, especially if they are well equip enough to do it themselves. And I expect the same from others of myself. Don't mind helping out, but not if it means not being appreciated.
(8) Driver (men or women)
After having had my car for about 5 years without incident, my ex had 3 prangs (accidents) within 2 or so months. Bad enough to warrant panel work being needed lol. I don't fully trust anyone apart from myself when behind the wheel of any car. And so no, I would much prefer I were to drive using my car, instead of her driving (or driving her car). If it's someone I've known sufficiently long enough though &/to trust them, sure why not.
(9) Religion for child (Father or mothers)
Again, something both parties should discuss really. I was brought up in a religious environment, but it's certainly not something I full heartedly agree with (anymore). And so I certainly wouldn't force something like this on anyone, especially my own kids if I had any, if I didn't believe in the *whole* thing myself. | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/22/2008 12:15:41 AM | (1) Opening doors for the lady
Yes... being gracious is not sexist. Not saying thank you is churlish and ill-mannered IMO.
Silly, really, it is not in doubt that a woman is capable of opening her own door... so, it is simply manners. I open the door if I'm there first, open doors for other people... and give a man a wide smile and a sincee thank you if he opens the door for me.
(2) Shaving (Ladies)
Yes, I totally buy that this is selling out to society's artificial norms... and guess what, as far as feminists are concerned, I'm a complete sell-out. I refuse to have my body become a political statement... my personal preference is shaved, shaved I shall be.
(3) Telling the man that you're about to abort his and your child.
?? Joint decision. Moot point with birth control.
(4) Men paying for dinner
I have no expectation of a man paying, nor do I tie it to whether or not he is a "gentleman". I am a 50-50 type of person out of fairness, not politics. We both work, we both want to spend time with each other... we should both share the expense of it. On the other hand, some men feel very strongly about this, and I do not get into a battle over it with them as that would be demeaning to them and ill-mannered of me... I say a sincere "thank you".
(5) Gifts, just because
Small, thoughtful, inexpensive gifts... absolutely. IMO, women do not do enough in this area. They don't seem to put a lot into "creating" the relationship through thoughtful gestures, but seem to think this is the man' place.
(6) Cooking (women for men AND men for women)
Oh yes! I am a total sucker for a man who cooks.
(7) Household chores (men)
Of course. We are both adults, we both maintain our own homes. Should we ever live together, both of our loads are lightened by an extra set of hands helping out where it once was just me, myself and I carrying the whole load. Two is way better than one and gives us more time for fun together!
(8) Driver (men or women)
Yes. Both drive. My bf drives but does not need a car (great transit in our city)... when we go places in my car, I drive... but he still opens my door for me... makes me feel *special*... love it.
(9) Religion for child (Father or mothers)
Back in the day when this was a factor... I said teach all or both religions and let them choose as an informed adult... the men I was with thought this was satisfactory. | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/22/2008 2:03:24 AM | (1) Opening doors for the lady
Men are allowed to do this IF they are okay with having doors opened for them. In my part of the world, men and women open doors for others, regardless of their gender. My special someone was amazed the first time he saw a man open a door for another man but now he's accepting that it is normal politeness.
(2) Shaving (Ladies)
This is a personal choice. Whether a man wants to shave his face or a woman wants to shave her legs is up to her. Some people don't want to and I don't see why they should. A man has a right to have a beard if he chooses and a woman has the right to have hairy legs if she chooses. I think it is inconsiderate to adopt one style to attract a person and then change it, however.
(3) Telling the man that you're about to abort his and your child.
This is one area where there can never be equality. The woman has to undergo 9 months of pregnancy (something that would completely daunt me) and then labour (something beyond daunting). Her body will be changed forever. No amount of promises "Oh I'll take care of it once it's born" can remove the fact of this or the fact that physically the father can, and frequently does, walk away, whatever he may have originally promised. The decision to abort is the decision of the mother and the mother alone. However, this should have been discussed prior to sex. I feel that very few people do this and this is where unfairness comes in: when the man has an assumption about what will happen. Personally, I feel that no matter how much I dread the thought of pregnancy/labour I could not abort and I have always made this clear, because I know that it would be a common assumption that a woman who is not anti-abortion and who does not want children of her own would use abortion if she got pregnant accidentally. Telling him about the decision is an essential courtesy -- secrets in relationships are a bad thing in my opinion.
(4) Men paying for dinner
He can pay for dinner as long as he lets me pay next time.
(5) Gifts, just because
Should be balanced, from him to her as much as from her to him.
(6) Cooking (women for men AND men for women)
Should be balanced with other household chores. Sometimes one is better at cooking than the other so the other one can wash up or clean etc.
(7) Household chores (men)
Should be balanced, unless one person works more than the other and also contributes more to the bills, then it is only fair for the other one to contribute more to the chores.
(8) Driver (men or women)
Either... some people like to drive and others don't. If one likes to drive and the other doesn't then it makes sense to let the one who enjoys it do the driving. Otherwise, it should be balanced.
(9) Religion for child (Father or mothers)
If you don't agree on core beliefs I think there will be serious problems in the relationship. I would recommend teaching the child as itsMargo suggests: an awareness of all religions with no particular emphasis on any and the emphasis on freedom to choose. | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/22/2008 4:22:01 AM | Opening doors for anyone is cool, shaving is cool, (but I'd rather that men didn't shave their chest) and if a woman is planning to abort, heck yeah---she ought to tell the father! All the rest, except for #9, are equal access things, and #9 is a lil confusing for me. Are you asking should parents teach their own religion to their children? If so, yes, as anything else would be dishonest. Once a child shows readiness, they should be free to explore and make their own choices, but initially, I believe we should expose them to our own beliefs.
In the end, though, a traditional man is a traditional man, no matter what "new world" he's in. | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/22/2008 4:48:42 AM | (1) Opening doors for the lady
Always...something I judge a man on quite stringently. Something I hope my son always does for his dates/female friends
(2) Shaving (Ladies)
Huh?
(3) Telling the man that you're about to abort his and your child.
Agree with the first poster--I don't thing abortion should be legal other than incest, rape or health issues and I disagree completely that a father isn't contacted and given equal rights about killing his child
(4) Men paying for dinner
Nope...I pay my own way...if not at the meal I make sure it evens out...I'll pay petrol or for the theatre or whatever is next
(5) Gifts, just because
I'm horrible about forgetting birthdays so I'm really good at just picking things up for friends and relatives through the year...I'm not bothered if a man buys me a gift...I really don't get wound up by such thin gs
(6) Cooking (women for men AND men for women)
I cook basics...love to have a man cook for me
(7) Household chores (men)
I think they should be shared...I hate gardening so I'd be happy to have a partner that left the inside to me and he took care of the outside
(8) Driver (men or women)
??
(9) Religion for child (Father or mothers)
Childs...I don't like or believe in organized religion | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/22/2008 4:59:14 AM | First, thank you for realizing "radical feminist" is not a redundant term.
For me, opening doors is just natural. So, I don't go to extremes to do it. Ladies shaving? that's up to them. Telling me she's going to abort our child? I'm not looking to have children--raised too many immature adults--so at this time, I say its her body. If I was put into that situation, maybe I'd say something different then.
Paying for dinner? I'd hope she'd want the pleasure, some time or another, of treating her sweetie--and not just with dessert, either Gifts? They come in many forms, not just something shoplifted at a store ;)
Cooking? I'm taking care of both my parents right now, so a man cooking doesn't phase me--I wish I was better at it, but my parents don't want any zest in their food. Same for household chores. As for driving I love cars, so I don't mind the past gfs I had who let me drive even their own cars. | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/22/2008 5:40:55 AM | (1) Opening doors for the lady
definite "yes". i don't expect it, but it's always nice when it happens.
(2) Shaving (Ladies)
"yes" again. not for anyone else, but b/c i prefer it myself.
(3) Telling the man that you're about to abort his and your child.
i personally don't think i could ever do this, myself. i don't support abortion to begin with, and i think circumstances would have to be pretty extreme for me to even consider it. i just wouldn't normally see it as an option for me, either way.
(4) Men paying for dinner
again, this is a "yes" and a perk--but i don't expect it. i'm always willing and able to pick up the tab, but if the man wants to, fine w/me.
(5) Gifts, just because
love them. i'm not materialistic--"gifts" can come in many forms, they're not always bought items. it can be as simply as burning me a cd of music--i love it. the thought behind the gesture is what counts. that being said...i don't like it when gifts represent status, come too early in the relationship, or are an effort to impress. that weirds me out a little. if the effort is genuine and truthful, i appreciate it. i'm also wired to "give"; whether it be simple acts of service, thoughtful words, or tangible items, and i love to bless others in this way.
(6) Cooking (women for men AND men for women)
"yes" on both accounts. i love to cook, and i prefer to do it for someone. i don't mind doing it often, either. if it's reciprocated once in a while, i'm even happier.
(7) Household chores (men)
this one touches a nerve for me. i'm a clean person. not just b/c i prefer the look of a clean home, but b/c it's also a matter of hygiene and stewardship. i'm honestly disgusted by the amount of men (and women) i know that can *never* be bothered to do the simple, everyday things around the house, or won't clean for weeks on end. i can't live like that, and it's a deal breaker for me.
the way i see it is if a man hasn't learned (or is too lazy) to take care of his home by now, he likely won't ever. and i'll end up playing "mom". i am not in the market for children.
i also buy into the personal belief that how a person keeps their home is a reflection of who they are. if a man can't take care of the little responsibilities around the home, i doubt he'll be able to take care of me, either. before i get flamed...i'll say that this is true for women, as well.
(8) Driver (men or women)
i'm ambivalent about this point, unless i end up playing "taxi". i've dated men w/o cars; some who were completely independent and even if i offered a ride, rarely took me up on it. i've also dated men who seemed to expect me to pick them up and drop them off every time we went out, and that started to wear on me after a while.
(9) Religion for child (Father or mothers)
i'm not a religious person, but i am spiritual, and this is a priority for me. my views on life are greatly coloured by my belief in Creator, and my sense of a bigger picture (spiritually). i need to be w/someone who shares my appreciation for Creator's presence in life. | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/22/2008 5:41:27 AM | Your name suits you now. She done broke you honey...
1. Please do. I would think you rude if you didn't offer to get that door.
2. Let me. You can help, if you you're so inclined. New blade please....
3. WTF?
4. If you ask, you pay. If I ask, I pay. If you wanna wrestle, you're on.
5. The sweeter and more thoughtful, the better. You're scorin' points with every one, and yes, I'm counting.... lol
6. Let's do this together, unless you'd rather take charge. Mraow! FEED ME!
7. This is why we pay people from other countries that are here illegally. WHAT?!?
8. Me Miss Daisy.....
9. Religion is a way to control the lemmings. Use your own head.
OP, I'm sorry you got broke. Fix self NOW. | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/22/2008 5:59:46 AM | for the right lady... I'd shop, shave her or do the cooking... I try not to get too rigid with male/ female roles because I know the times we live in call for men and women to come outside the tradiotnal views of cultures we were raised with. For instance if my women hated to cook, I'd do the cooking. I'm not one of those rigid, controlling guys.
Far as her not shaving her armpits or legs... thats just gross and I dont think I'd be with a woman like that unless she had no hair on her legs on in her armpits growing.
Far as religion... that she believe in God, not fairies or aliens... that should be similair as similar values matter. | |
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| Traditional Man in a new world
Posted: 1/22/2008 7:12:46 AM | Here are MY opinions. Hope everybody's taking notes!
1. Opening doors for a lady.
It's polite and very nice for the guy, which I do all the time. But hence the word: lady. We all worry about the woman who'll slap us and accuse us of being a pig, and that they can open their own doors. But those people are not in terms of what I call a lady anyway.
2. Shaving(Ladies)Greatly encouraged. Would you date a woman who looks like she has an afro under each arm? What a nightmare!
3. Telling a man you're about to abort his and your child.
Who cares if it's LEGAL? It's wrong, and we all know it. If you don't want to keep the child, then put it up for adoption. You decide that you want to kill it, and you can never fully look another child in the face again, or watch a movie with one in it, knowing that you killed someone who would've turned out to be just as terrific.
4. Men paying for dinner.
That, I can do, or if the woman agrees, we can split the check. But I'm just not about to pay the full bill for a restaurant that charges $150 per course or something like that.
5. Gifts, just because.
When the right occasion comes along, sure, why not? But I'm not about to buy something majorly expensive just because it's Valentine's Day. There's a lot more you can do to show a woman you care without having to buy gifts all the time.
6. Cooking(for men and women)
I can cook. My family knows I can cook, and I don't burn the food either. But sometimes, it'd be nice to see what the woman can come up with as well. Does she have any secret family recipes to show off? I'd love that.
7. Household chores(men)
You ever hear of compromise? We split the chores down the middle. Fifty-fifty. But I can do stuff like mow the lawn or take out the garbage full-time.
8. Driver(men or women) I'm not about to say that women can't drive, because some men can't drive worth crap either. I don't care who drives, but you better put down that stinkin cell phone and turn it off because no call is important enough in order to take your mind off staying alive on those dangerous streets.
9. Religion for child(fathers or mothers)
Like I said before, compromise. None of us has to convert to the other's religion if we don't want to, but what a good way for the child is have them go to separate services every other week, and then let them choose one for themselves once they're older, or just let them go to both services as long as they can stand it.
Sounds pretty good, don't you think? | |
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