| Never told this story before on POF ... here goes.
Posted: 5/24/2005 9:38:19 PM | I don't go out and talk much about my problems or lowpoints of my life. I like to be positive, and always try to take the best out of any situation. So this is probably why I never realy wrote about this before. I usualy like to chat about fun stuff, mostly sex and relations ... but tonight I just .... well feel that way.
I lived through probably one of the nicest and most romantic and lovable relationship. We got together on a beautiful Christmas week-end (sounds cheezy, but doesn't all love stories do ?) in college and all went from friendship to well ... love. We used to talk a lot, we shared all common values, we had similar goals in life and we almost felt like we were the same person except opposit sex.
After 3 years of nice relation we went off on our own, got an appartment, not the nicest thing in town, we were starting in life so we had to deal with old carpets, and moistured walls ... all that kind of stuff. But with the strong bond we shared we got to 5 years together living in this lovable rathole. Then we finaly moved out and bought our first house and life was just so good to us. Lots of love, friendship and communication Through any bad situation we talked it out and came out stronger in our love.
One night wile she was sleeping , I passed a ring to her finger...Our relation was so strong that we wanted to get married. Not because we wanted to commit or because we wanted to wear the ring ... but because we wanted to share with others the beauty of our relation and our love. We didn't want a common church wedding we all know (no offence to those who likes it or did it) but a wedding celebrated with only close people, by the side of a lake on an august morning. She arrived in her white dress from the top of a hill, looking amazingly beautiful and walked down to meet me near the water to celabrate our union. A union in wich we agreed to never forget ourselves as individuals and promise to bond for love and support. This was without a doupt the best day of my life.
2 years later our union was still as strong ... but something had to happen. You see, through all these years we had been working on the sexual side of our relatioin. All this time we have had very few sexual encouter. She had a bad experience once when she we younger ... and it seems she never got over it. After a few years it appeared she did, things were going for the better... then came other things on her mind that she thought she had to let out in order to enjoy her sexual self. With patience, compation and love, we did manage to live a better sexual experience together. Then on several occasions things didn't work too well. After a wile we had to admit that she had a serious psychological trauma that she could not counter. And after 3 years and a half of marrige we had to make a major change in our lives. It was over.
And here I am a little more that a year later trying to make the best of things. I have a job I like, family and friends that I love and I am healthy. Guess there is nothing to complain about. I dated a few times, nothing too serious. But still on nights like tonight, she is still in my soul and it hurts like hell. Tomorrow I'll feel better I'm sure. And I'll make the best of things once more. I did get over it. I'm a happy man... but again on nights like this I think to myself...how sad this story is ! It is the most tearing feeling I have ever felt, leaving love because of lust...
Thanks to all who shared the story. Sorry for the whining.
Good night all.
btw : I am not drunk, I never drink. | |
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| Never told this story before on POF ... here goes.
Posted: 5/24/2005 11:41:35 PM | It's sad that because these things happen to younger women, it hinders them.
I'm glad to see you are doing well though. I will point out that sex is supposed to just be the bonus of the relationship.
At any rate, I'm sure everything will work out.
Peace. | |
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| Never told this story before on POF ... here goes.
Posted: 5/25/2005 5:17:02 AM | | Wow...I honestly don't know what to say. Is there no way to repair your marriage at all? it sounds like you both had so much love for each other...I hope it all works out, I feel for you!!! | |
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Cin4U
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Joined: 2/26/2005
Msg: 4 | |
| Never told this story before on POF ... here goes.
Posted: 5/25/2005 11:50:49 AM | | Neo, I wish you the best, I know my words wont take the hurt away, but if things are meant to be she will come back to you. Trauma when your young doesnt just move on, you have to move it on yourself. Its real sad, the perps in situations never suffer the pain and anguish one feels when something horrible happens. They get thereapy and a slap, the victim had years if therapy which may not even work. I hope you find your happiness again, and I hope she finds her peace and learns to let go and love. Your both in my heart and prayers. | |
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| Never told this story before on POF ... here goes.
Posted: 5/25/2005 10:32:46 PM | | i noticed you're in Quebec, i wonder if your provincial health plan works like our OHIP here in ontario....here our general practitioner can refer someone to a phyciatrist for free treatment (not phsyologics - i can't spell tonight) that can really help her get past her past (it's free covered by OHIP in Ontario with a Dr's referral, hope it is in quebec too)...it may be too late for the 2 of you together but you obviously you care enough for her to want her to feel better and get past this too....maybe check into it for her if she hasn't already....just my 2 cents for what it's worth....cheers and good luck... | |
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| Never told this story before on POF ... here goes.
Posted: 5/28/2005 7:59:04 PM | Life is a series of cycles with ups and downs. it is crucial that we not let moments of failure become the only moments that we use to define ourselves. "Your past need not equal the future". A very wise old lady gave me this advise and its definately something to think about!!
Good Luck! | |
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