| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 8:15:00 AM | Or say she was willing to have sex, but you knew she wouldn't get any enjoyment out of it except for feeling an emotional bond, would that bother you?
Just curious because I've had this problem ever since I started taking antidepressants; even after I got off of them the problem never went away. I've had moderate success treating it by using vitamin/herbal supplements while off the SSRIs but eventually I've had to go back on the SSRI because the depression was making it so hard for me to function in everyday life. I still have hope that I can find a way to successfully treat both the depression and sexual dysfunction, but it's really discouraging sometimes. Are there any women on here who've had similar problems that were successfully treated? | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 2 | |
| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 8:28:55 AM | How long would you have a conversation with people that didn't care to answer?
Or dance with someone who was deaf?
...Yeah...it gets tiring.
Tell your MD these meds are sapping your libido and your desire to be the best person you can be...have them try something else. Along the way, look at some female stimulants...I've heard Horny Goat Weed is excellent (obviously you're going to have to go the homeopathic route for help in this area).
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| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 8:30:10 AM | | A lot of it could depend on your age. Many women from their late twenties through their thirties have little or no sex drive. Reality intrudes. Work, kids, day to day living keep a woman so busy and exhausted she has little time or thought for sex. But wait till you hit your forties. Hormones kick in, you've hit your peak and your man will be begging for mercy. Also check with your doctor. Not all antidepressants effect your sex drive. You might have to try several before you find one that is right for you, but there will be some that you can take and still enjoy sex. Each medication affects different women in different ways. Keep trying till you get the right one for you. | |
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| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 8:35:16 AM | If early on in the relationship the lady mentioned that she was on SSRI's then I would understand.
It wouldn't be something I considered a red flag because of side effects the medication causes.
There are other SSRI medications that do not have this particular side effect. You should ask your doctor.
I do not remember the particular name, sorry. From what I have read different medications have different side effects on each person. Perhaps you just need to find one that works. | |
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| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 9:09:40 AM |
Or say she was willing to have sex, but you knew she wouldn't get any enjoyment out of it except for feeling an emotional bond, would that bother you?
Yes, it would bother me. I doubt I would enter intop a relationship with the above stipulation.
But, as others posters indicated......there IS help for that. | |
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| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 9:22:16 AM | Thanks everyone...I am about to try a different antidepressant actually...just started it today; hopefully it'll work.
By the way I didn't intend this thread to be self-pitying...sorry if it came across that way. | |
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| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 9:23:58 AM | OP, Which SSRI are you on? Sometimes moving from one SSRI to another makes a difference. For example, if you're on Sertraline, maybe Lexipro will make a difference. Unfortunately, a reduced sex drive is a side effect of the SSRI's.
Now to your immediate concern, I might date someone w/ no sex drive. If I thought the behavior would carry into the marriage, then no. There are many components that make a marriage successful, and a happy sex life is one of them.
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| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 9:31:57 AM | | JPS1172 - I've been on several over the years...most recently celexa, which seemed to have the worst side effects; I also took lexapro for awhile, I think that was the best one. The one I just switched to is wellbutrin, which is supposed to be the best for not causing sexual side effects since it isn't an SSRI, so we'll see.. | |
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| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 11:22:39 AM | | I think a majority of men would have an issue with it unless you were their ideal women on every level BUT sexually. There are men out there that find little interest in sex, and yet even fewer men that find sex repulsive and gross. You may need to be a little more patient in searching for your Mr. Right but just make sure you are open and honest with them in your search. I feel as though I was duped once into believing she was really into sex and then when I was hooked and committed I find out otherwise and was very mad about the whole ordeal. | |
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| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 11:37:14 AM | | Some women may enjoy giving one-sided sex to a guy in isolated situations, but I think there would have to be an awful lot of mutual attraction of a different kind to have a real relationship of this sort exclusively. I do enjoy pleasing a woman sexually, and this generally makes it more enjoyable when she pleases me. I definitely prefer a two-way street. | |
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| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 1:47:56 PM | Yes, lot's of men would be happy to date you. A successful relationship is based on trust, love, a close warm bond, committment to each other, loyalty, and then SEX is the icing on the cake, your relationship may be missing some of those ingredients and keep in mind, most women feign climax anyway to please their partner. With the right ingredients you may find your desires increasing. Then what ?
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roddw
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Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 17 | |
| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 1:52:31 PM | I have dated a woman with little sex drive,
She was what we call an IDEPENDENT woman.
they suck!
they make great bosses because their married to thier work and always like to be in control, I think this is why they don't like a guy on top of them pounding away because they no longer have that control, funny thing was she like to blow me bacause she was then back in control. ay mujeres. | |
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| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 1:52:43 PM |
men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Date? Yes.
Commit to? No.
Be in a relationship with? No.
Though I might be a little more compassionate,
if a woman that I was already in a relationship with,
had some medical issues come up. | |
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| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 2:22:14 PM | Op, many women your age experience a decline in sex drive. You think it is primarily related to the medication, but it could also just be a normal thing. Kids, work, homelife, family...all sorts of things fill your life up and sex is just not a priority for you.
The thing is...most women who experience this while single will pretend to have a high drive until they "get" him. Then the sex drops off to a rare occurence. They use sex as the bait. You're just being honest up front.
Since you're willing to be so honest (and someone really will appreciate it), just because you're not achieving an O everytime doesn't mean you can't enjoy the very intimacy of the act, and ensure he enjoys it as well. Think of it as being like a backrub after a hard day...just a way of showing your love and allowing him to show his.
I do recommend staying away from those guys who think what they see on porn is real life. lol I can't imagine some of the acts discussed around here being an act of love.
But do talk to your doctor about it. And do consider experimenting some yourself. You might find something that really floats your boat. | |
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| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 2:36:28 PM | Most Dr just prescribe steroids to increase your "libido", find one that is more willing to work with you for your depression. Alternatively find a man on the same type meds. Sharing your experiences could be good for both of you.
Sex isn't everything to everybody. | |
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| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 2:40:51 PM | Wellbutrin...completely different than lexapro.
I am on effexor which is known to have sexual side effects. I have a great libido (ok partnerless, but I'm still alive and feelin it). I guess I am just lucky in that respect. BUT effexor is similar to lexapro in that they both hit a certain neurotransmitter. Effexor hits an additional one for anxiety, not just depression.
I was on just effexor and it helped but when I was in a really rough spot, I might not have been crying daily, but I had no desire to enjoy life or leave my bed. All I wanted to do was keep the covers over my head.
So my nurse pract gave me wellbutrin. She said it has more of an "upping" effect. So to me, the effexor got me from below baseline up to the baseline, but I wasn't able to get my emotions above the baseline. The wellbutrin gave me the ability to feel happy when it was appropriate - to get above the baseline. It hits a completely different neurotransmitter. She also said to take it in the AM b/c otherwise I might not sleep at night.
So anyway, based on that info, I would guess that indeed you should be able to avoid the sexual libido "dampening" caused by previous anti-dep while taking wellbutrin. Now, that does NOT mean you'll feel horny again. Part of being depressed can be not having a sex drive. Hard to feel sexy when you feel like crap. So if the wellbutrin also helps your depression, perhaps you'll find your libido again... hard to say because it's only 1 piece of the puzzle.
I ended up discontinuing the wellbutrin b/c it made my hands shake like mad. like drinking too much coffee. hated it. And actually, in the meantime, I've made some positive changes in my life and made it thru the worst of the problems so the effexor is fine and I don't need anything else... I'm doing pretty good once I got moved out of my stbx-hub's house, actually, and have the separation paperwork underway. I am separated, but the paperwork puts the legal custody/support issues into court order and gets things ready for the divorce to go thru.
I would suggest if you aren't already to look into counseling in addition to the meds. Both tend to have the highest success rate when done together to combat the depression and perhaps the counselor can suggest some ways to overcome the libido issue.
Good luck!
Kaylie  | |
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| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 3:03:11 PM | Yeah I dont really like having sex with a girl who doesnt get much enjoyment out of it, I like screamers assuming its not 3 am and my roommates sleeping.
I had a girlfriend once who didnt get off, she just couldnt orgasm and never did and it was kind of a factor in me breaking up with her. | |
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medana
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Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 23 | |
| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 3:13:32 PM | i'm a sex fiend, would def be a deal breaker for me, man or woman.
but not everyone is, baby doll. its just an issue of finding the one right for u
i will give u an example.
ive had a 'girlfriend' for over a year. we get along great, she calls me her 'gf', we make art but never made love. smack on lips but not even french kissing.
she is hard core into bondage. gets off on being tied up and all that, and i do wanna learn, am curious, but i sure cant do the stuff she needs, which involves stuff that criss angel does, w needles and all that... ouch!.. so she goes to dominatrix sessions all the time, and we hang out and cuddle and make art.
is it an unusual connection? for sure it is. most would think it's nuts and it is. but we match artistically perfectly, so we do create together, even if not smthg sexual. i fill her need of having someone and she loves me unconditionally, without asking for anything.
so who cares, baby doll. sex drive is the least to worry about. i have a higher sex drive then most men, but it's my connection w her thats been the most consistent i had these past two years, and it has nothing to do w that, even
so see, all it takes is finding someone that needs what u r putting out | |
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| men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 4:28:06 PM | Date? Yes, but she's more likely to become a platonic friend before long.
Marry? No chance in hades.
For men it is PARAMOUNT that our mate be as close to us in sexual behavior as possible...otherwise..we eventually pull a Bill Clinton and that generally causes HUGE issues. On the other hand, if you don't mind sharing or even Triad situations...you could find a nice deal somewhere along the way. (For those who don't know, Triad means two of one kind and the third is the opposite...like Three's Company but with more fun going on  )
There are serious benefits to Triad living...if one doesn't want any, the other usually does...sharing of household chores, snuggle factor times two! (definitely warm in the wintertime) , if everyone works in shifts it makes child care REALLY comprehensive, if no kids are involved the house stays REALLY clean and everyone gets properly serviced anytime they need it.  | |
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