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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 EmilioBB4L
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 1
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Hello Members,


Ok, so you are single again. You are going through the worst time of your life, you feel lonely, and just over all you carry a cross daily.

What exactly are you supposed to do with all the stuff you ex got you?
for example:
-shirts
-socks
-that nice watch you got for xmas
-the 100 picture frames with wonderful pictures of the two of you,that you have around your place
-those CDs that she made for you
-your screen saver has a picture of the two of you from a weekend's get a way


And so much more.

What do you with all of those gifts?


Emilio
 PostPunk
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 2
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 6:52:47 PM
Does she want them back?

No?

Hefty bag!
 Coastergal
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 3
view profile
History
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 6:57:38 PM
It depends.... If you can't handle seeing these items... Put them all in a box then put them in the back of the closet... and don't get into the box until you're ready.

I sometimes think of my ex when I see things he gave me... but, I'd never throw them away or get rid of them because he was someone I cared about. Ofcourse, I put photos away and I'd delete the screensaver! I still have the CD's he made for me... Honestly I don't think of him when I play them anymore...

I know that he kept the clothes I got him which helped him attract other women! LOL
 EmilioBB4L
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 4
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 6:58:04 PM
Hi sorry I should have been more specific.


No she does not want any of them back. I am at a point right now, where the pain is minimal, but I have SO many things around me daily, that remind of me her.

I am very happy with the fact that this relationship is over, there is no doubt. I have done the crying, the hating. I did this fast in order to be able to continue a healthy life.

But I am just wondering what the consensus is?
This may very depending on different factors.


Emilio
 petite2760
Joined: 7/9/2005
Msg: 5
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 6:59:48 PM
Very nice profile , BTW, Emilio.

If you are still in communication with her, ask if she wants some of it back. If not, then you decide which ones you want to keep or don't want to keep.

I have kept some of my Ex's stuff only because I wanted to tell the story ( complex to have to elaborate on this one) to my kids..

Hope that helps.
 Poodlefancy
Joined: 4/26/2007
Msg: 6
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History
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 7:06:23 PM
Hello Emilio,

Well I did a big yard sale and almost everything that he gave me was sold. I took the money and donated it to the homeless animals. I figured the food and medical it bought was really great for the dogs, as well as people really got bargins!!

I had purchased Christmas gifts for him, but we broke up prior (I shop all year, eases the budget) to the Holidays, so those gifts were sold too. I threw all of the pictures out as I no longer wanted them. I never missed a thing.

Why keep them around?
 *Tee*
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 7
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 7:10:12 PM
I didn't have to worry about making that choice. The B*stard took everything before he left. I hope he enjoys those thongs, thats all I'm sayin..

 Shende1923
Joined: 8/23/2006
Msg: 8
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 7:10:17 PM
when my ex left.. he took only his stuff and the "good stuff" .... he realized later that he left behind the most valuable treasures.. was I a witch? no.. coulda/shoulda/ but... he got all he wanted.. but alas.. he forgot the most cherished possessions.. pictures .. so as I agonized and even came close to suicide when the depression kicked in... what to do with them??? As the story book rhymth goes.. cant go under it.. cant go over it.. what to do with them? five lives worth.. his, mine and 3 kids... all the birthday parties.. holidays...???? Online friends suggested...dont look at them.. just put them in a box or container... label it "yesterday" and that is what i did.. it was my salvation from myself.. they are in an unmarked box in the top of a closet...

Memories are gifts.. and those are the hardest to dispose of?
 outofthedesert
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 9
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 7:11:34 PM
Three piles. Keep, not sure, dump. The first two put in a box until you are ready to deal with it. My ex gave me back an expensive watch I have him. I put it up, now I wear it with jeans............
 funnygirll
Joined: 5/10/2006
Msg: 10
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 7:45:56 PM
after a very long marriage and a very painful break-up I wanted to burn it all.
But I took some great advice and only got rid of clothes and other non-significant things from the get-go, but all the other symbolic stuff I put in a box in the basement.

2 reasons for the box:
- I didn't want to regret getting rid of something important for our son later on
- I knew one day the good memories would be good again and not painful and I would want proof

It's been 2 years and I just cleaned out that box (TV size, many many years of stuff in it...)
... it's been downsized into a shoe box and labeled with our son's name.

It's all good
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 11
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 7:56:07 PM
I keep the stuff. It's mine, right? One of my favorite rings used to be "his".
 Goddess of dreams
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 12
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 7:57:04 PM

Hello Members,


Ok, so you are single again. You are going through the worst time of your life, you feel lonely, and just over all you carry a cross daily.

What exactly are you supposed to do with all the stuff you ex got you?
for example:
-shirts
-socks
-that nice watch you got for xmas
-the 100 picture frames with wonderful pictures of the two of you,that you have around your place
-those CDs that she made for you
-your screen saver has a picture of the two of you from a weekend's get a way


And so much more.

What do you with all of those gifts?



Throw your sadness and negativity out keep the rest.................

The more you focus on the petty thing the bigger they get.

I can't stand it when people tear and throw memories away after all you shared good times together too.

If you are really sad just do a voodoo with her picture that may ease your pain a little.
 skyydancerdreaming
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 13
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 8:21:43 PM
I keep everything. Why not? It was given to me by someone I once cared about, so, as far as I'm concerned, it's mine. I was never one to throw away pictures or gifts. Never have, never will, but that's just me
 scorpio85
Joined: 3/22/2007
Msg: 14
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 8:26:18 PM
I say chuck them... they're from the past and you're trying to move on... why would you want those things reminding you of them? If you can't convince yourself to toss it out that soon... why not put them away and out of sight for a month or two and then decide if it's worth having in your possession?
 texasbilly
Joined: 5/29/2007
Msg: 15
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History
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 8:37:59 PM
I agree with skydreamer I am the sentimental type and always keep my memories. After ALL it was an important part of your life. Good Luck
 betterlate
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 16
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After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 8:38:30 PM
I say pack them up neatly in a box ready to return to the ex, then think about it for awhile. If you still like the sock and shirts and it wont hurt to wear them, then wear them, if it is too much, send it all back to the ex, then let them deal with it. I like to get rid of things that have bad feelings attached to them, regardless of value. I loved the post of the woman that sold everything and donated it to homeless animals.. What a very sweet and wonderful thing to do.

You will meet a new person and this will all fade no matter how it feels now. If you really want to move on, then either send it back, sell it, donate it or just think about it for awhile, but put it away so you dont have to see it every day.

BL
 iwonder06
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 17
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 8:53:08 PM
Heres one for you as well . After the break up and divorce she gave back the wedding ring which was custom made with all her moms rings and all the ones i had given her. So would it be okay that when a person meets another to melt it all down and make another custom ring or do the women not want a ring with a past history attached to it ? Th epld stuff is all boxed as the kids do need to know of there mom and not just from what we say to them as pictures dont lie .
 FirstStp
Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 18
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 8:56:51 PM
Bonfire with friends :)
dogs burgers ice brew and hop too it!
burn everything!

ummm unless something is recyclable?

Delete the weekend get away pawnture
Once bitten sure to be BITTEN

burn burn burn all memory!
 CherylCake
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 19
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After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 8:58:03 PM
Wear the clothes proudly, the jewelry regally, the sox comfortably, assured in the fact that someone loved you enough to bless you with a material token. Which by the way, you earned by being wonderful enough to inspire a gift, just as they inspired whatever gifts you bestowed upon them. Why think negatively about them? The positive road is always the most blessed. You had a learning experience, and those things are your diploma. Smile when you see them & think sweet, secret thoughts.
 Pink Rose Lady
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 20
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 9:01:36 PM
Don't return anything to her unless you really think she wants them. If there is anything that you really like, then just keep it. Tuck it away in a box and store it somewhere until the reminders won't bother you so much. Anything you don't want, then donate it to charity, there are plenty of people who could use a little help. I have plenty of things around the house that were gifts at one time, I don't think about who gave them to me very often, I just enjoy having them around if I kept them.

Pink
 Sucker4agoodkisser
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 21
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 9:03:03 PM
Hearts are good for souveniers and memories are forever. The sun still shines, the sun still sets.
 Urs Truly
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 22
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After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/24/2008 9:05:27 PM
If she gave them to you .... as gifts their your's to keep... any court will tell you that... and I am not a judge... then you can do whatever yo want with them if you don't want them..
 EmilioBB4L
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 23
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/25/2008 3:00:22 PM
Some really good logical replies here for sure.

I had placed every single little, big item in this huge box for a while.
the memories are so fond, and deep. We both spoiled one another with so much love and tons of gift, we knew that the gifts were not needed.

At some point, I started to think that she was giving me things so that I ALWAYS had something on from her, and ALWAYS had something in front of me from her...we both played this game hahahahah yeah the obsessive part of love hu?

She has not asked for anything back, and I know she is not that type. JUST like I would never ask for anything I ever gave her back either.

December was very difficult for us, and we did not make it through. I had purchased this bracelet from People's (my favorite jewelery store)...guess what I have this item sitting in my drawer. **** she wanted it, but I had to get it resized for her.

We were supposed to get engaged soon :( she is a wonderful 48 year old, I am 32.



Emilio
 outofthedesert
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 24
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/25/2008 3:05:53 PM
the photos were divided into boxes for the kids. The cards from him were shredded---why? because they all said I will love you always................
 eddy02
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 25
After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?
Posted: 1/25/2008 3:09:59 PM
If you don't want them, you could give them to one of those places that sells stuff for the needy. That's better than throwing it away-someplace like Habitat for Humanity sells stuff & builds houses for the homeless. Good luck.

Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > After the break-up: What to do with all the gifts from your ex?