| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 4:33:40 AM | | Met a girl a few weeks ago, i'm 24 she was 20 and already had a kid while I have no ties like that. I had no problem with her having a kid and so took her out a few times and had a good time. Then I started getting a couple of texts about money was tight and she couldn't afford food and so on so I took her food shopping but refused to hand over cash which you could tell she didn't like. At this point I asked if she was taking me for a ride and she dropped the bombshell that she was 3 months pregnant with another guys kid. So a 20yr with soon to be two kids from different dads I thought was too much to take on altho it might have been different if she had told me from the start mind. Since then we parted but now i`m getting the texts - your a **stard just like all the rest etc etc. I think I`m a decent enough bloke but was I rong in finishing it or did I do the right thing? | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 4:36:23 AM | | I can't believe you even took her grocery shopping. That's way more than you should have done. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 4:42:51 AM | Ooh no...you did the right thing by getting out.
Sounds like she is in a huff because she wanted to use you for money and can't. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 4:42:59 AM | | I don't think you are a **stard . It totally depends if you think this girl is for you and are prepared to be father figure to someone elses kids . | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 4:46:12 AM | Why are you giving this a moments thoughts? All that matters is if you think you're a **stard, not what she, or anyone else thinks.
I can understand helping her out with food, but allowing her to berate you emotionally is nuts. If the problem is that you care for her well being and might want to help her further, do so by helping her to help herself. Give her useful info that is likely in her phone book anyway, and steer her in the direction of agencies, churches, counselors and her family. This isn't your issue. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 4:57:12 AM | No i dont think your a b*stad, where did all her money go?
I get the neighbour knocking on my door every 2 weeks wanting £65 i ignore him, if they aint got no money its there fault.
truth is there are lots of young women out there who just want guys for there wallet.
If she keeps harassing you, then report her to the police. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 4:59:25 AM | Gee...I was gonna make a joke along the lines of no you're not but obviously the kids are.
And then I thought better of it.
And *shrugs*... then I decided to post it cos I thought it was funny & actually was making light of the situation and didnt mean it offensively. Its the definition and it was a low shot at the girl herself not the little one (and soon to be little one)
Anywho...I reakon taking her shopping was one of the smartest moves you made cos it got your spidey sense tingling straight off and then you tackled her like the evil green goblin that she is.
No you're not a ba$tard...you're just not silly. Good for you. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 5:00:16 AM | agree with the others..
you arent what she says.... in fact you did more than enough and had the good sense to see she was playing you for a fool...
she is only attacking you because you sussed her out. The best form of defence is attack and sadly you are bearing the brunt of it.
Perhaps she needs to take stock of her own life and stop popping out children left right and centre. Ar at least wear wellies if she's going to go paddling.
Dont let this put you off. There are good people out there who will appreciate your kindness and good nature. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 5:12:03 AM | why are you even doubting yourself?
you must know that you did the right thing by getting yourself out of that situation.
i take my hat off to you. i would have ran after the first text mentioning money. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 5:16:57 AM | I f a girl did this to my son ( doesn't always make good choises) I would step in,, and visit the little girl,,, where is youre mom?? doese she live close?? are you close to her?? well thats what i would do,,, nobody messes with my son,,
cheryl | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 5:17:45 AM | Good grief that woman has a lot of balls asking you for money/food etc. You were wise to let her go and she is really showing her true colours by getting mad at you - I don't know why she would think that you wanted to hang around with her given the fact that she is pregnant with another mans child and didnt bother to TELL you that she is!
Run away - run far, far away from this one! | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 5:32:39 AM | | Thanks for the replies its just one of them where you get told someting enough you start believing it and thinking that you are the one in the wrong. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 5:36:37 AM | I believe you did the right thing by walking away OP...unfortunately, we can't save people who either don't want or who aren't ready to be saved.
When that happens, we have to make the decision to save ourselves first and walk away from a potentially bad situation, or else we risk losing ourselves too...so yes, you absolutely did the right thing. Be good to yourself and don't feel guilty...such is life. 
Take care and good luck to you OP:)
JMO | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 6:06:07 AM | Nope. You just weren't enough of a sucker for her.
You did the right thing - hell, you went above and beyond by taking her grocery shopping.
That girl needs to get her life back on track and you did the best thing you could have for her - you refused to support her (which is an indirect shove towards making her stand on her own two feet). Good for you. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 6:12:12 AM | she already has two **stards...why think you are the third? :)
Now, when you say you took her shopping but refused to hand over the cash...you don't mean she ended up paying right? You mean you told her beforehand the $$ was only going for food, not drugs for her to buy later? | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 6:19:45 AM | | No I paid for the grub just refused to hand over cash | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 6:27:35 AM | | Count your blessing that this leech is out of your life.I don't agree with calling children bastards.It places shame on a child who had no choice in the two idiots that brought it into this world.By all means call the parents bastard ,but not the kids. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 6:36:38 AM | | No, I don't think you're a **stard. Unless you were upfront about not paying for her groceries when you took her to the store, she may have gotten the impression that you were buying her food. We all make mistakes, but if she is 20 with one child, is pregnant with another man's child AND dating you, she obviously isn't too responsible and seems to have difficulty making good, intelligent decisions. Don't let her get to you...she's just trying to guilt you into giving her money. Run away from her and run fast! | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 6:52:40 AM | | Looks like you did right by her until it didn't feel right for you to do so. She's not very pleased that you aren't putting her and all her illegitimate kids ahead of your own needs and wants, but she'll get over it. You did what you could, without sacrificing more than you were willing and able to give. Seems pretty sensible to me! | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 7:15:57 AM | Well micky ive got a question for your question:
Were your parents wed when you were born?
If they were, than you're not a **stard. If they weren't, sorry friend, you're in **stard country. Population: You. | |
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real12
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Joined: 12/31/2007
Msg: 21 | |
| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 7:24:39 AM | Dude....Micky, get a hold of yourself will ya? Re-read what you just explained to the whole world, read it loud & read it clear.......Why on Gods green earth would you even question yourself?......I mean unless you went & bought her Filet Mingon or some dumb sh*t, forget about it.
She's a wreck, there is only so much a man can do.......Youv'e done enough already, join the club bud, your not alone. The world is full of spineless wh*res regardless of gender. Do yourself a favor though & stop beating yourself up over the whole deal & move on, just try & improve your taste in women eh? | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 22 | |
| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 7:25:30 AM | You are NOT a **stard at all. If you had been here telling us that you were staying with her, I think it's safe to say that 99% of us would have told you to run...far and fast!
This chick was trying to use you, pure and simple. (I'm not saying there wasn't any attraction, but she obviously had money on her mind). | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 7:28:29 AM |
Met a girl a few weeks ago, i'm 24 she was 20 and already had a kid while I have no ties like that. I had no problem with her having a kid and so took her out a few times and had a good time. Then I started getting a couple of texts about money was tight and she couldn't afford food and so on so I took her food shopping but refused to hand over cash which you could tell she didn't like. At this point I asked if she was taking me for a ride and she dropped the bombshell that she was 3 months pregnant with another guys kid. So a 20yr with soon to be two kids from different dads I thought was too much to take on altho it might have been different if she had told me from the start mind. Since then we parted but now i`m getting the texts - your a **stard just like all the rest etc etc. I think I`m a decent enough bloke but was I rong in finishing it or did I do the right thing?
I can't believe you even took her grocery shopping. I mean, if she said she couldn't afford food then that tells me she's going to hit me up for cash. | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 7:33:46 AM | Hey , she is not your responsibility. She has a duty to her child/ children to take care of them. How dare she spring this on you? Those poor kids. I am thinking that she is displacing her anger from the fathers onto you.
You are not a bas tard. She is mad that she can't use you like she planned.
Is this girl stupid? There is no reason for unplanned pregnancies....esp with all the diseases out there.
You should go get checked by a Dr., and leave that girl far far behind. She is a liar and a manipulator.
~T~ | |
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| Am I a bastard?
Posted: 1/26/2008 7:34:28 AM |
she already has two **stards...why think you are the third? :) .....Degrading children is the lowest of the low.
That said, now the question at hand.
What you did for this young girl and her child was extremely generous and she should NOT expect more from you.
She should have been honest with you from the start.....she wasn't.
Why is she name calling you? Because she has 'yet again' let herself down and is taking it out on you. You actually cared about her it seems, but she took advantage of you and she knows it.
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