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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual      Home login  
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 angieee
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 1
what does it mean when he says feeling is mutualPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
guys i need your definition on this wording. I blurted out i think im falling in love with you .his response was the "feeling is mutual", sorry but i found this confusing thinking he would utter the same words i used
 pbear511
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 2
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what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 6:17:24 PM
remember in the movie ghost how he says "ditto"
yep, that's what you've got here.

good luck.
 Justcauz1
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 3
what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 6:18:41 PM
He did in a way.
I totally understood what he wanted to get across.
Sometimes people don't say what they where expected to say but it dose not mean the intent was not there.
 angieee
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 4
what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 6:20:19 PM
so it does mean he is falling in love too then....i suppose im used to hearing the words...never had a guy say the feeling is mutual
 PassionateSeduction
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 5
what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 6:22:24 PM
He wanted to say that he's falling in love with you as well, but at the time couldn't find the correct wording. There is nothing to worry about there, he is falling in love with you. Embrace it!!!
 pbear511
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 6
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what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 6:23:36 PM
yeah, he is. but he's having difficulty saying it.

how long have you been dating anyway?
 angieee
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 7
what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 6:25:55 PM
ty so much guys i feel better....i thought i had made a fool of myself and was ready to distance myself from him so the hurt wouldnt be as great
 angieee
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 8
what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 6:28:58 PM
we actually met on here.bout a month ago chatting everyday on the phone...finally met 2 weeks ago and he was full on saying he had fallen hard and wanted to marry me eventually, i put the brakes on , then i went to see him for the weekend and it was the opposite i went full on with those words , he lives 3 hours away so we only see eachother on weekends
 swfl_dan
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 9
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what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 6:33:10 PM
He means he loves himself, too, so he gets where you are coming from...

Just kidding. Ghost movie, ditto, etc etc
 UniqueManinSoCal
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 10
what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 6:34:21 PM
Stop living in your own world of expectations or this will happen over and over.

With age comes experience, with experience there is a realization that you are not the only person in this world with their own perspective. It is a good lesson you obviously need to learn.
 Red_N_Blue
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 11
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what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 6:53:39 PM
is it so important to interpret who-said-what-and-what-it-can-possibly-mean? I think when/if he's ready he'll say directly and explicitely "I love you" or " I am falling in love with you".What did you expect - an awkward silence? Him pretending he didn't hear? Usually people put on the spot will say something nice especially on a touchy subject like this one. Right now sounds like you are "fishing" for the response you want to hear. Maybe give it time/space with no expectation and see if he comes around to saying it on his own. Good luck!
 andyman35
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 12
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what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 7:10:30 PM
You're over analysing his words,if he didn't have any feelings for you he'd have either swiftly changed the subject or pretended he hadn't heard you.It's difficult for blokes to say the whole l.o.v.e. thing,don't worry so much.
 es138
Joined: 4/9/2006
Msg: 13
what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 8:12:18 PM
If you ask him about it, he'll say that "the word Love is thrown around too much these days and [he doesn't] want it to lose it's value when [he uses it] with you." That's the reason he'll give you for why he didn't use it.
That sh*t is straight out of the playbook.
 lifes_a_highway
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 14
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what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 8:25:21 PM
Well, since you say that he had already said those same words(and also used the M word) and you put the brakes on, he was probably not ready to put himself out that far again. YET, that is.
 m409998m1
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 15
what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 8:40:48 PM
You may have shocked him. He may have been fumbling for a reply while thinking about the depth of emotion you threw down on him, and blurted out, "feeling is mutual".

If he is not ready to say. "I Love You" in return, I would not sweat in.

If you pressure him to say. "I Love You TOO", he may disapear all together.

Some guys save that word for serious occasions.
 Justcauz1
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 16
what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 8:42:21 PM
Red n blue.

I respectfully say No you are incorrect.

As a guy and I have been one for many years now, I will say that is a very normal response that a man will use, it is not the words a woman wants to hear but that is how we are.

Many women need to stop expecting to hear certain words, we men just don't use them,
He said he loves her just not in a manner as some would like to hear, but that is why we don't fully understand each other totally.
 angieee
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 17
what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 9:16:34 PM
ty all for your responses they have been very informative and yes those words will not be uttered again till he says it first....lol
 BlueNorth
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 18
what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 10:15:58 PM
I wouldn't put too much stock in what was said exactly. One month isn't a long time, and if the initial attraction is strong, people might say more - or less - than they've thought through. I'd think that if a man tells you within a couple weeks of phone conversations and one first date that he's fallen hard for you and is thinking about marrying you at some point, he's probably either bobbing around in the sea of "new infatuation" (and therefore not to be taken too seriously) or leading you on (and therefore not to be taken too seriously.)
It might be a good idea to rein in your own horse a bit and give it time, wait and see, don't get carried away too quickly just because he did.
Don't ask me how I know that this makes a lot of sense
 HillsideCA
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 19
what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/27/2008 10:27:35 PM

so it does mean he is falling in love too then....i suppose im used to hearing the words...never had a guy say the feeling is mutual

Don't ask us. We have no idea.

Seriously, there is one person in the entire universe who knows what he meant. HIM.

If you want to know the truth, ask him a point-blank question that only has two unambiguous answers: YES or NO.

Just about anything different that anyone else may add to this thread may seem like it has a core of meaning, but it won't.
 garnet73
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 20
what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/28/2008 12:19:42 AM
Er... I agree with HillsideCA that only your specific guy can tell you what he meant... but I disagree with getting yourself all charged up about it and running off to ask him what his deal is.

To my way of thinking... it's very easy to get yourself connected to someone "too quickly" when you're talking online a lot. I've seen it in others and been there myself. I think it's because there's no physical filter; your words are going straight to each other's brains and your imagination goes wild for this person. So... you're busy having a really amazing mutual connection, and when you meet in person, everything still seems awesome.

I think after your first meeting, he realized that he practically proposed and he should maybe slow it down. I think he's still very interested in you, but when you unleashed the L word, he wanted to say something positive, but had already talked himself into slowing things down. I'd like to interpret "The Feelings Mutual" to mean he understands exactly how into him you are, and is into you just as much. I figure he took the pressure of you both... and when you're ready to say it again, he'll be ready to say it back.

Well, at least that's how I'd play it. If you charge over there and say "Do you love me?! Yes or no?!" He may or may not say "No" before running... if you let your head rein your heart a bit, you should be in good shape.
 Shylent
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 21
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what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/28/2008 12:38:29 AM
He means just what he said. you said you think your falling in love. and he replied the feeling is mutual. so there you have it. he thinks he is falling in love with you as well.
I use that term quite a lot myself for similar situations and and i mean what i say when i do.
I also have a way of turning compliments back on the person who gave them to me as well. with a different twist on the old playground comeback for insults "takes one to know one " for certain types of compliments.

Remember its more difficult for us men to express feelings and talk like that it's how we are raised in this society.
 angieee
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 22
what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/28/2008 12:44:57 AM
ty garnet73
i see your point of view and its very helpful, and no i wouldnt go over and question him about it, im sure he will say it when he is ready like you said, i would be too scared in a way to say it again before he says it first,

ty again i really appreciate it
 angieee
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 23
what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 1/28/2008 12:48:56 AM
yes you are right too shylent.......guys do have their own words and sayings to reply back , and females try to interpret those words and sayings .but its great to get a guys point of view on things and its very helpful
 andyman35
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 24
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what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 2/5/2008 6:06:04 AM
As a general rule a bloke will only usually use the 'love' word in the following context:

I truly,deeply,love and adore (insert favourite football team here).
 hamiltonlad36
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 25
what does it mean when he says feeling is mutual
Posted: 2/5/2008 6:30:28 AM
Too say the feeling is mutual may be a way that he can express a feeling that he may just be starting to feel and not yet ready to say it as openly as you may want need or expect him too... i know you meant well and shared what you are feeling and nothing wrong with that it is for you to do when you feel right. For him it may just not feel right yet... not saying never. This is a very hard subject to talk about when neither wants to upset or perhaps hurt the other when they don't feel the exact same.. Perhaps you are better wondering a little bit if he is at the same point in the relationship you are... better then for him to lie outright if he does not love you and say he does... Hurts a little and makes the stomach uneasy not knowing if the one you are with feels exactly the same and will always feel the same as you but love will never be easy but very rewarding when shared...
time will reveal all and i hope it is amazing for you
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