| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/27/2008 7:33:37 PM | | hi I had been dating this guy for about a month and we were maddly in love with each other. We were able to finish each others sentences we had most of our interest were the same so whe nhe asked me to married him I said yes but we would have to give it a year before we set a date and every thing and he agreed. then weeks went by and I didn't hear from him and I got worried I would call or message him and he wouldn't awnser me back well Ifinly get a message from this guy claiming that he was mike and the guy I had been hooked up with was his cousin dan and that the marrige and us dating was just some joke he decided to play cause he thought it was funny has this ever happened to anyone else and I'm not sure If I am able to get over it shit I don't even know how to get over it can anyone give me some advice | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/27/2008 7:41:27 PM | | yeah well I have been going through some major health problems and was in love and the doctors weren't expecting me to come through it so I thought I only had a couple months left to live thats why I said yes | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/27/2008 8:16:32 PM |
yeah well I have been going through some major health problems and was in love and the doctors weren't expecting me to come through it so I thought I only had a couple months left to live thats why I said yes
I call shenanigans. | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/27/2008 8:31:18 PM | I am sorry for your broken heart.Time will help you heal.What is the most important is that your health improved.I wish you lots of health and joy.Pls do not worry too much about your love story.
Marriage after one month it is possible.It hapened to me.It was a University collegue that I dated for bit less than one month when he proposed.I said I need time to thinck about it and he agreed.Couple of weeks after he started puting presure for an answer and actualy said he will jump from the window(at high altitude of course) if the answer is No.I was kind of worried of his attitude and talk to his mom about.I married him less than 3 months in the relationship.
All the best to you mermaid! | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/27/2008 8:42:25 PM | just look at those guys as the morons they are and thank god you didn't actually end up with one of em!
thats a hurtful terrible thing to do to someone , and although it's not your fault ( so don't blame yourself) just remember to keep your head on when dating etc.
no need to rush , you're 22 years old, apparently got a clean bill of health now, so look at the good things and the things you have going for yourself.
good friends good family etc etc | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/27/2008 8:45:15 PM | then weeks went by and I didn't hear from him and I got worried
Weeks? Really? It took that long before you got worried? I am a woman in my 40's (ok, late 40's for those who are nitpickin') who is newly engaged and if hours went by and I didn't hear from him...I would be worried. | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/27/2008 8:56:34 PM | The guys were just cruel , but I bet they didn't think it would be THAT bad for you. Some immature people just don't think.
This pales in comparison, but when I was about 11 yrs old, the "hot kid" in the neighborhood came up to me and said, "You're pretty." My heart was all aflutter and I was so happy, when he said, "Pretty UGLY!" I am sure my face scrunched up, because I couldn't help it, and started to cry. He hurt my feelings. But one thing I will never forget: the look of HORROR on HIS face--he had had NO IDEA it would hurt me so much. | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/27/2008 8:59:03 PM | At your age things can easily get out of porpotion and you make too much of the smallest thing. We are also different in how easily we get attached to people and how emotionally available we are.
I understand it can feel like you can't get over it. Not only did you put your emotions into this and got let down. You were also subjected to a cruel joke which is very disrespecful of the persons who did that to you.
You will get over it even though you might not think so right now.
I haven't been in that same situations but I've been in situations where I thought I'd never be able to trust again or love again. The older you get, and the more chit you get thrown at you, the quicker you recover. | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/27/2008 9:37:49 PM | Hun less take a closer look at this whole thing.. You met a guy and were in love IN A MONTH...
I know you are young, but I am guessing you also have somethings that are beating the heck out of your esteem..
How are you gonna recover... Simple...
Option 1
You sit back and complain that two pr!ck heads played some nasty joke on you, and lament that you will NEVER love again.
Option 2. Up your real estate, by going to school, classes etc and find out what makes you the best you.Figure out why you would think someone really was truly sincere about being there for you if you didn't know them that long. Then DECIDE you will not be the butt of anyones joke, because you will love smarter.. REAL love doesn't bloom into a marraige proposal over a couple weeks..
On top of that, save about 15 minutes per day to think any thoughts about this tvrd. Write it out, lament, cry what ever.. BUT give yourself ONLY that 15 minutes, and no more. After a while you will be sick to death of thinking of this person, and poof, he will no longer be allowed to occupy precious brain space, and take up any more emotional time
Option 3. Become imbittered, and go after every guy with a vengence to prove you are just as capable of hurting a man, since men are all the same, and you hurt one, you are hurting the other guy that hurt you.
AND YES, I earned middle age wisdom from doing silly things, that didn't make a lot of sense either... That is why I know what it is like to feel like healing is going to be a lot harder than it really has to be.
Good luck | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/28/2008 3:07:25 AM | Four weeks kiddo......stick to your studies.......don't get sidelined by some cowpoke out there that wants to saddle you up and steer you the wrong way.....
Get that degree and be all you can be .... | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/28/2008 4:29:46 AM | I've read a few of the other replys to your heartbreak. Let me first say this, irregardless of how Mike and Dan played this joke on you, in person or on the internet, they are both idiots, losers and have some real serious issues. This was more than a cruel joke, it was down right disgusting. This isn't a "typical scam", you don't have to grow up and gain some perspective, they just weren't boys being boys, and you don't have to feel guilty for thinking that your not sure if you will "get over it".
In your own mind, you felt that you had met the person you could spend the rest of your life with and the rug was pulled from under you by two sick, little, insecure losers. Don't feel guiltyfor your feelings. It is not your fault. Don't beat yourself up. They knew what they were doing, they knew the pain that it would cause and this is how these little worms live.
There's no one solution to feeling better. There's no one answer for getting over something like this. I doubt very few people have ever experienced what you have gone through.
With that said, it would be in your best interest to take some of the better thoughts from the people that replied. There were some good words of advice, but, like I said don't feel guilty for how you feel and don't let others discount the "joke" that these two guys played on you, it was more than just cruel, I mean come on, who plays a joke like that?
Your young, you've gone through a horrible experience (we all do over the course of our lives) and you will bounce back. The good news is that you these worms are no longer in your life. You have no choice but to grow from this, you have no choice but to gain perspective, and you have no choice but to move on. Do it on your own time frame and keep busy. Do the things in life that give you the greatest pleasure (stay close to family and frineds). Remember, to love, be lovable. Don't let anyone steal that from you.
Good luck and if you ever need to talk, feel free to shoot me an e-mail.
Terry | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/28/2008 5:05:35 AM |
yeah well I have been going through some major health problems and was in love and the doctors weren't expecting me to come through it so I thought I only had a couple months left to live thats why I said yes
And that's why you picked a date a year out, huh? So the joke was gonna be on him!
Something doesn't add up here. | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/28/2008 7:05:15 AM | I'm sorry but a lot of things just don't add up in your story but However the case may be...it must have been awful to go through something like that.
It is a hard lesson to learn but one that must be learned.
Protect your heart and yourself more from now on by getting to know someone longer and don't make life changing decisions on the spur of the moment.
all the best to you and keep your chin up. the Right on will come along eventually. | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/28/2008 8:01:35 AM | Hi Palominokari,
I am not sure if this scenario did happen to you or not because other posters have pointed out some of your inconsitencies...
That aside...
If these two 'less than sub slime' idiots did in fact play this cruel joke on you, I hope karma bites them REALLY HARD IN THE A $$ !
No human being deseves this and that would include you !!!
My advice would be to shake your head and pitty the losers who have nothing better to do than hurt another human being.
Some life lessons really hurt, it is reality though.
Learn from it...be a better person, smile :) breath and know that it will get better.
I HAVE TO ADD...
To all of the nay sayers regarding 'BEING MADLY IN LOVE' after one month.
I know mine was not the 'typical', but I came home after seeing my man for only the THIRD time and told my friend ; he would be the man I would marry !
Ripe old age of 16 to boot.
We talked about marriage after dating for only one month, we were engaged in less than 6 months and married a month after my 18th birthday.
We had 15 years together and experienced more love than many will ever live in an entire lifetime...
He passed away January 11th, 1995 and left me with three amazing children...
All the best OP... LLL | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/28/2008 9:41:53 AM | I've only heard of that happening in the movies before. Sorry. People shouldn't play games like that, though. How would they feel if it happened to them?
Ed | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/28/2008 9:50:00 AM | | Sorry to hear that some people are just too F&**ED up. Well I hope you believe in KARMA because he should get his in the A$$. | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/28/2008 10:01:13 AM | | This guy is a a## and y'all are jumping on her. ummm can't say I am surprised. I know a couple of couples that got married after knowing each other less than a month. I am sorry this happenend to you and you are still young so the pain will end. This guy has been hurt bad in the past and wanted someone to hurt with him. It's like being raped you were just a victim. (I hate using that word) Now it is your choice to be a victim or a surviver and from the way it looks you are the surviver. You will love, and trust again. Just sit back get drunk and enjoy life. | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/29/2008 10:30:38 AM | Skyhugs gives great input and I like what she said to the nay sayers regarding being madly in love after 1 month. I have never been married, because, I have never dated or met the right woman, so you could say that I take mariage alittle more serious than the average person. However, I really believe that you can meet soemone and be madly in love after a month, it's rare, but, it's certainly possible. Look at the people who have dated for years, get married and then get divorced. Skyhugs was the exception, but, it can happen. Being madly in love doesn't mean you have to smoother and lose your identity.
Sorry to hear that you lost your husband skyhugs, your a strong and graceful woman, good luck on POF. | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/29/2008 10:31:08 AM |
nhe asked me to married him I said yes but we would have to give it a year before we set a date
I thought I only had a couple months left to live
Why would you plan to get married in a year if you're going to be dead before then????
Something just doesn't ring true here... | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/29/2008 3:40:23 PM | when my bf and i started dating, we were sooooooo madly inlove with each other too! wait, no, that's a lie. he was into me cuz ...well i don't even know why. but within a month, he asked me, "if i propose to you right now, would you marry me?" i said yes! he's like, "really?!" i responded, "well, guys usually have a commitment phobia. for you to ask me to marry you right away...then you best know what you're doing. i don't divorce. so, if you think you're ready to take on the challenge on being stuck with me for the rest of your life...then ok!" he replied with, "uh huh." then changed the topic...lol!
how can you be madly inlove with someone you just met and sincerely consider marrying them? | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 1/29/2008 4:10:01 PM | Thanks Joker !
pnayplayr, if I knew the answer to your question, I would answer it...
Boils down to the two people and where their heads, hearts and souls are at...
Let's get back on the original post please...
OP, I hope this doesn't stop you from trying again !!!
Sometimes we have to weed out some nasty stems before we can dig to a strong stable root :) LLL | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 3/10/2008 6:09:24 PM | | i would never consider marrying someone i hardly knew which you cannot know in one month and this should teach you in the future to look after yourself and not set yourself up to be hurt dont put up walls. someone told me the other day they only dated this girl because they bet their mate they could and then dumped her after of course the girl was very upset shed fallen for him so take it as a lesson learnt get to know someone really well before giving your heart. | |
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| broken heart because of a joke
Posted: 3/10/2008 7:12:57 PM | | Sounds like a crock of s-h-i-t to me....number 1 ok your supose to die in a few month but ya plan a marriage date a year later.....number 2 ya have not heard from your lover in weeks and then you start to worry.....good god what are ya a attention seeker | |
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