JWRed
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Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 1 | |
| Flirting question
Posted: 1/30/2008 6:11:29 PM | A girl has been aggressively flirting with me at work . Then the other day she commented about her boyfriend (which she had not mentioned before). I am aware that a girl having a boyfriend does not mean she is not available. But I am wondering if I should read into the fact she mentioned her boyfriend.
Second question:
I asked in the help section why I could not post in the "Ask a girl" thread since I am male. Someone referred me to another thread, but I could still not figure out why I could not post in "Ask a girl" thread. | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/30/2008 6:15:43 PM | you can post this wherever you want!! Who the hell said that to you? You are asking a GIRL, right?
btw, she's telling you she has a BF a) as a slip or b) as a cushion to justify when she flirts, you take bait and she wants to back off - very misleading.
don't go for it - it'll drive her nuts!! Usually girls like that need toooo much attention (hence the reasons why she is coming for verbal affection by you) (and you can bet if there is you ...) - ask yourself, do you REALLY want the drama for a piece? Think about that :) ... with the BIG head :) | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/30/2008 6:20:18 PM | | Dear OP, in response to part 1 of your post: You should read into things that if her flirting w/you results in the 2 of you becoming a couple (i.e., you become her boyfriend) chances are she will repeat this pattern when you are her guy. As for part 2: Beats me? I'd say your question is appropriate for Ask a Girl, but I'm not a moderator so I will defer to others. | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/30/2008 6:40:28 PM | I don't understand why it matters.
If this lady has a boyfriend,then you should consider her off limits.
Besides,why would you want sloppy seconds??? | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/30/2008 6:57:23 PM | | OP, as others have said, if she cheats on him, she'll cheat on you. Don't put your hand in the fire if you don't want to get burned. | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/30/2008 7:35:40 PM | If you want someone who has no integrity.....keep wondering about girls like her.
If you want someone who is flirting to get attention....keep wondering about girls like her.
If you want someone who disresepcts other people......keep wondering about girls like her.
But...
If you would like to meet a nice girl, who doesn't think the whole world should pay attention to her and think that other people should be respected...ignore this girl and focus on a decent one. | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/30/2008 7:48:59 PM | Most everyone on here has nailed this already, but a girl who flirts with other men while having a boyfriend has NO loyalty (which is a HUGE part of integrity). It is disrespectful to her boyfriend and like a few of the people on here said, it tells you a LOT about this girl.
Here's what I'd do. Go make a few of the other women around work laugh and make sure she sees you doing this - it'll drive her crazy that you're "flirting" with other girls. Kitty kats compete ;) But yeah, this girl's wacko. Another thing you could do is the next time she talks to you, talk about her boyfriend (bring him up subtely) and talk him up a bit ("he seems like a really nice guy", "what a great guy!" etc) and watch how she reacts ;) | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/30/2008 7:56:22 PM |
I am aware that a girl having a boyfriend does not mean she is not available.
No wonder the dating and relationship is so effed up. You're "well aware"? Well where I come from having a boyfriend/girlfriend DOES mean that you're not available. Otherwise, just date and whore around all you want, but don't make someone think they're more to you than they are.
But I am wondering if I should read into the fact she mentioned her boyfriend.
Why? So you can then sit and wonder who she's flirting with when YOUR back is turned? You will obsess, you will wonder, you will worry and get jealous and insecure and you'll fight... Because you will KNOW that if she did it to someone else, nothing makes you that special that she wouldn't do it to you as well.
But whatever. If you're "well aware that having a boyfriend doesn't mean she's not available" then go for it.
For your second question, there's nothing wrong with posting this question just in this forum. It's not a question that is gender specific where a woman would have greater insight into sh1tty behaviour than a man would. | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/30/2008 8:12:37 PM |
You should read into things that if her flirting w/you results in the 2 of you becoming a couple (i.e., you become her boyfriend) chances are she will repeat this pattern when you are her guy.
What an awesome answer. Will you marry me? Wait. I have a girlfriend. Sorry, I am going to have to let you go. Hehehehe.
Really, best answer in the place so far. | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/30/2008 8:16:13 PM | I am with the rest of the posters.
Why the hell would you want a woman who is so foul that would flirt while in a committed relationship. That shows me she has no respect for herself or her boyfriend. This woman has no class and I would hope you see this and tell her to take a hike. | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/30/2008 8:20:48 PM |
Most everyone on here has nailed this already, but a girl who flirts with other men while having a boyfriend has NO loyalty (which is a HUGE part of integrity). It is disrespectful to her boyfriend and like a few of the people on here said, it tells you a LOT about this girl.
I am going to disagree here. Come on guys, move down to the tropics. Flirting is natural and it's done, particular with Latinos, constantly. It is an endearing attitude. Let me give you an example. When I meet a woman I kiss her, chic, chic, no big deal. But many people, mainly guys freak. How do you do that. Why do they let you do that. It's an attitude. You do it. It becomes you. When you meet Latina women, they flirt with you. Same thing. They may be married, with boyfriends, whatever. I really don't care. But you flirt back. You make her day. She feels like a hot woman, goes back to her husband/boyfriend and fvcks his brains out. They are both happy.
So people, don't be so damn cold. Learn from your temperate weather friends here, and flirt all you can. | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/30/2008 10:04:34 PM | i worked in a predominantly latino neighborhood for a few years, and i never flirted with one of the latino women that came in the store.... though, i had no clue what they were saying, they very well could have been flirting with me. oh well.. i guess i wasn't a stepping stone to their awesome sex filled night.
seriously though, i don't know about the above post.
as for the topic, yeah... there's a few ways you can look at it. everyone seems to look at it as if you do steal her from her bf, then she'll end up doing the same to you. but you never know. maybe he's an unmotivated tool, and she's looking for something new. maybe if she was with somebody and was happy with him, she would act differently. maybe, maaaaaaaybe, she has never ever felt for another man what she feels for you. maybe you're entirely special to her. that i doubt though. good luck whatever you do. if you want to just do her, try and see what happens. if you want more than that, you might be spinning your wheels. personally, i wouldn't date in the workplace. its just bad all over. | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/30/2008 10:57:55 PM |
A girl has been aggressively flirting with me at work . Then the other day she commented about her boyfriend (which she had not mentioned before). I am aware that a girl having a boyfriend does not mean she is not available. But I am wondering if I should read into the fact she mentioned her boyfriend.
This is a very common game women play. It happens to me every now and then. What happens is she well flirt with you for a few minutes, if you don't flirt back like you're interested she will randomly bring her boyfriend in the conversation when it has nothing to do with what you're talking about. The reality is she doesn't really have a boyfriend and is using it as way to tell you "I dont need you to flirt with me, I have a boyfriend anyway."
Just ignore her and don't look back. | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/30/2008 11:10:27 PM | I agree with everyone who says stay away for all the stated reasons. Let me add one more reason not mentioned here yet... You work with her!!! DO not venture into those waters unless you really don't like your job. You're just bringing troubles onto yourself.
No fishing off the company pier, don't dip into the company ink, don't shit where you eat, etc.
It ain't worth it!!!! | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/30/2008 11:17:36 PM | ^^^^^ @ Edge16:
Yeah, only women play insincere games.
Only women flirt and crave constant attention.
Glad you have it all figured out, dude.
Don't ya just love generalizations about the opposite sex?
 Oh, and have a nice day! | |
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D_lily
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Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 16 | |
| Flirting question
Posted: 1/30/2008 11:26:50 PM | | It just depends on the amount of drama you like in your life. It won't be just her you let in..........no no no...he'll be there too! | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/30/2008 11:44:45 PM | | I never said women were the only ones who play games. Men play games too, just different ones. | |
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JWRed
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Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 18 | |
| Flirting question
Posted: 1/31/2008 9:32:39 AM | | I never understood why people believe that having a girlfriend/boyfriend means the person is not available. | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/31/2008 9:45:15 AM |
I never understood why people believe that having a girlfriend/boyfriend means the person is not available.
Are you quite serious?
Having a gf/bf means that you have comitted to a person and that means you are not available. If you were available you wouldn't have a gf/bf.
What, in your mind, makes you think that a person that has a bf/gf is available? What does it mean to you to have a girlfriend?
If you had a girlfriend, would you not mind if she was seeing other guys?
Seriously, I'm very curious about what makes you think someone in a relationship is available and what you mean with available at all. Do you mean available as in changing partners or as in being with other people at the same time?
Wouldn't that make the label being someone's girlfriend moot? | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/31/2008 9:48:21 AM | Here's an idea ... ask her about her boyfriend. Normally, if someone is in a relationship, the best advice is to stay away. But it is possible that their relationship has degraded to more of a friendship and on the verge of ending, regardless if you are in the picture.
I'm not advocating getting involved while she is seeing him, but it may be a relationship of convenience or they may not even see each other that often. Ask to find out. Make your decision based on knowledge, not guesses. | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/31/2008 10:26:12 AM |
I am aware that a girl having a boyfriend does not mean she is not available. LOL Let's just hope her boyfriend feels the same. You should read into the fact that she's a flirt and has a boyfriend. Flirting with you just a fun way to pass the time at work--don't think it means anything to her. | |
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JWRed
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Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 22 | |
| Flirting question
Posted: 1/31/2008 10:27:14 AM | Nordic33708 and others.
Wow.
I am shocked at the amount of venom in this thread.
Guess what folks. It is a cold ,hard world. For the women in this thread who think it is wrong for girl to make herself available when she has a b/f. Think about your currrent or last boyfriend. While in the relationship, you meet Tom Brady in a bar and you find him charming. He wants to take you out and then begin dating you. You wouldn't find some excuse to dump your current boyfriend? Laughable. Point being that there always might be someone better out there.
For the men. You meet Pam Anderson in a bar and she wants to bang you that night and then start dating you. You don't leave your current girlfriend? Comedy. | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/31/2008 10:55:45 AM | Venom?
Excuse me but I for one has not said anything out of line to you. I have tried to understand where you come from and how you see things and this is how you respond?
You obviously had no intention to have a discussion about this.
Your conclusions are those of someone who thinks a relationship is not about two people caring for each other.
I would think that your conclusion that all men would leave their loved one's for Pam Andersson is offensive to quite a few of them. Most men wants more than just looks.
The same goes for Tom Brady whoever he is. I assume he's a male counterpart or something. Most women want more than looks in a man.
Real women don't toss their bf's when a looker make a pass at them. Women without integrity do and I'm glad they exist. They are needed for people like you. | |
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| Flirting question
Posted: 1/31/2008 10:59:07 AM | your only allowed one question at a time!!!...
kidding..
umm..she mentioned her boyfriend so that you are aware..she is not available, and her flirting doesnt mean anything..
Its harmless fun banter | |
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JWRed
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Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 25 | |
| Flirting question
Posted: 1/31/2008 11:08:06 AM | "umm..she mentioned her boyfriend so that you are aware..she is not available, and her flirting doesnt mean anything..
Its harmless fun banter "
This is my last post in this thread.
It has been aggressive flirting. She all but asked me out. That is why I am confused.
Thanks for the help folks. See you around. | |
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