| why do people send messages to you when they don't like your profile
Posted: 1/31/2008 2:09:01 AM | Hi,
My question is why do people send messages to you when they don't like your profile??? I don't see the point. Why would I care?
I've had a guy send me a message telling me my profile made him feel ugly?? I'm not sure how I managed that! Is that not his issue?
I have specifed "no unemployed" . A guy messaged me to say I would date George Clooney (buy the way, although he's very handsome he's not my type. He's more my Mum's age group!) because between movies he is officially unemployed. When I responded in the negative he got very aggressive accusing me of having a NYE hangover? (I was the designated driver and did not drink.)
So, ultimately my question is "Do these people have way too much time on their hands?"
If I view someone's profile and it does not appeal, I move on. Why do some people need to send you a nasty message for no reason??
I'm interested to hear about other people's opinions, experiences & responses to these people with obvious issues. | |
|
Naamah
|
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 2 | |
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 1/31/2008 2:36:12 AM | Yeah, I find people do that occasionally, and I wonder the exact same thing. Why would you bother writing to someone whose profile you don't like just to tell them that? Sometimes they seem to be under the impression that they are giving helpful advice on how to improve your profile...or become a "better" person. Some are so patronising you just have to laugh.  It is very weird that some people have such a superiority complex that they think their unsolicited advice might be of any interest to a total stranger. To me it would be the equivalent of walking down the street, passing some total stranger wearing something you don't like and calling out to them " Hey! I hate your dress! The colour doesn't suit you at all. And you know, I really think you'd look better in jeans." Why would you... and why would they care? | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 1/31/2008 2:43:25 AM | | Some guys take offense to a confident girl who knows how to hold herself because they feel intimidated. | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 1/31/2008 3:03:31 AM | Hi lol luke85,
Thanks for your reply! Why is that though? A recent reply from a guy told me he should be proud if his girl is smart & cluey? I'm not the sort of girl who can "dumb it down". Don't get me wrong. I don't think that is your suggesstion! | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 1/31/2008 3:56:32 AM | | the truth of it is milly, do the thoughts of these narrow minded men actually count, obviously they feel inadiquet, when confronted by a woman who is confident or pretty, and try to make themselves feel better by letting you know you have upset them, they need to realise, that woman are equal to us men, and should treat you with the respect that you deserve, " I do mean all women" | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 1/31/2008 4:08:28 AM | I used to reply to these types of emails in typical Hilly fashion and give them a big gobful. I think its actually what they want. They are too scared to email normally so any contact is better then none.
Now I find a polite "thanks" usually means they dont bother writing the second time!! | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 1/31/2008 4:28:29 AM | I have written if there is a question asked in a profile, but to offer solutions to what I think is a problem in a profile? No way. If I am not interested why bother?
I recently posted a reply in a forum and received a private email berating me for my opinion and telling me to leave him alone. I had never emailed him to begin with and he was the one that contacted me. I tried to write back to politely express/defend my view but he deleted it unread and the thread was deleted as well.
If you receive some negativity in your email--unsolicited--just delete it. It is not worth the time and effort. Why get into a discussion which will only spiral downward.
We just have to understand that unfortunatley some people are allowed to walk the streets and potentially breed and we will occasionlly have contact with them. Scary thought isn't it?....................  | |
|
| |
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 1/31/2008 5:14:43 AM | | Yeah it does seem strange to have a go at someone if they aren't even the sort of person you're looking for or would want to chat with. That's very unusual. But there are some unusual people on the internet I guess. | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 1/31/2008 5:20:57 AM | ~ ~ ~ unfortunately.....
welcome to the world of dating on the internet, it is hard to understand the logic, behaviour and the purpose at times of other human beings.
When I first got online as a single, it annoyed me heaps but I guess.. "I am over it", dont take it personally, simply move on. | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 1/31/2008 5:06:25 PM | Milly,
A fair proportion of guys are here because they are probably intimidated by females, especially successful and attractive ones, in 'real life'. So their confidence may improve online, but the techniques of attraction don't
Dutch courage has a new face.
I'm sorry you've been subject to some bizarre banter, however that's an unfortunate part of life online. It's all experience... but yeah I'd block them and not waste time appraising their manner with a reply.
There are nice guys out there... hint hint... heheheh | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 1/31/2008 5:20:45 PM | Putting someone down can make the other person feel better , sad but true.
I was pm'd and told to put my shirt back on as "its not an adult dating site" , guess we are all still kids then eh?
Dont stress too much about this sort of thing , most of the time its jealousy rearing its ugly head.
Personally , a female with more brains than me would be more than welcomed , as a matter of fact.. any female would be more than welcomed... damn bad drought we're having | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 1/31/2008 5:47:47 PM | Some here are getting so frustrated and desperate that nobody responds to their messages that they just message anybody. At least it looks that way.
Don’t bother yourself, delete it and block him. You will never hear from him again.  | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 1/31/2008 7:21:00 PM | Hilly I now try that tactic and it works....Im amazed that people do say things to you via computer that Im sure they would not say to you on first contact, but maybe when they get to know you better and in a jovial manner.
I had one guy recently tell me to get a haircut...a few quick words...for some reason that really hurt me...yes I have bushy, curly out of control hair.....4 years ago I was ill and had not hair at all...Im lucky mine grew back hence why I probably do have an aversion to hairdressers....and it probably does need a good cut...but never in my wildest dreams would I message that kind of comment to anyone as you have no idea what they have been thru...Its a weird world !!!
Today I put up what I consider to be a "serious post" asking for thoughts/comments..the first comment back was flippant and unnecessary. If you dont like the subject or the post, move on , you are under no obligation to read it, nor comment. I was after insightfulness and experience from others only to be "rubbished". I wonder if I was standing opposite that same person would they have said the same thing on first contact.
Apparently etiquette goes out the window once you hide behind a computer screen. | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 1/31/2008 7:34:40 PM | I will admit to being a mess of contraditions on things like this..
I have no problem with people telling me what i should be or shouldnt be. I just pay any attention...but I get nasty when people want to change the world to fit in with their comfort zone. Howeverrrrrrrr....I have been guilty of sending one liners to profiles about things that have caught my eye.... never nasty but sometimes provocative. I often get some heated replies... my only defence is that im making a smartarse comment, not a social commentary..
Anyway forget the guy.. | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 1/31/2008 7:39:42 PM | Missmilly, Missmilly, I've read your profile, & i feel beautiful.Ahhhh. Damm shame your so good lookin & so much younger. Ohh well.  | |
|
| |
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 2/1/2008 12:51:29 AM | | I think you have too much time on your hands, dissecting this madness :) | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 2/1/2008 1:22:46 AM | I wonder why turtles bother to come back to the same beach to lay eggs..
maybe they have too much time on their little turtle flippers.. 
its kinda a little bit on topic | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 2/1/2008 2:53:51 AM | Hey Milly,
it's because they like you more if you say you don't...capeesh?
A bit like telling the kid not to eat the chocolate in the fridge. Pretty soon he's gonna have a taste... | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 2/1/2008 6:52:21 AM | A guy recently sent me an email which said I was out of his league.....My response was that I was a normal person with a normal life and no one had ever said that to me before. I began to look at myself.....Nope nothing had changed and I cannot see why a person would make such a comment.
I don't know what a NYE hangover is, so I can't comment.
 | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 2/3/2008 2:31:47 AM | Hi Guys,
Many thanks to all (well most) for the insightful replies.
Greatly appreciated!
I have certainly taken on board that is definately NOT my issue!
Kind Regards,
MissMilly1970 | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 2/3/2008 3:51:59 AM | It's a bit like the guys that pm you because you're online - they haven't even looked at your profile, but ask you all the usual boring questions and don't listen to the answers.
Hope I'm allowed to post now - my last was deleted...... hi to everyone from delaware, had to change my name when i moved to sin city. How are the ducks namaah? | |
|
Naamah
|
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 24 | |
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 2/3/2008 4:22:09 AM | ^^^ Hi Delaware!! Welcome back.  (I'm down one duck but the other 11 are great.)
On topic, I must say that I haven't received a "self-improvement suggestion" from a random stranger for a few weeks now. Probably cos I haven't been checking my mail. I think that might be the ultimate answer ya know...don't read your mail. I might convert to the unread/delete way of life. | |
|
| Why would you bother?
Posted: 2/3/2008 4:38:24 AM | I just hope that the use of "guys" is the generic use of guys because I had a couple of women in the past send messages specifically to critique my profile.....when i had one..
They appeared to know everything about my many weaknesses...I cant remember what they said. I think i forgot it on closing the browser... | |
|
Home
login 
