| I need...
Posted: 1/31/2008 2:34:39 PM | I was given a remarkable ability to instinctively know what others need, and I'm always willing to provide for those needs if I can. Tonight at a scene where a 15-year-old ended his life, I did what I usually do, and that's take care of the patient and then check on those I work with. I noticed who needed a hug, a kind word, a pat on the back, a hug. Made sure everyone was okay. Offered to talk or listen. I hugged one. Looked into her eyes and made sure she was okay. Him, too. And then I was alone. Yes, my partner asked if I was okay. I said, "Yes." And I was, and I am. But, gosh, what I'd give to have someone hold me, even if just for a few minutes. My needs are so few. I learned to live without needing to be touched in the past, but released those floodgates last year. And now that I don't find what I need, I can't remember how to shut everything off. I've been touched and held a few times since I allowed those feelings to surface last year, and I crave it now. I NEED to talk. To touch. To make love. To love and to be loved. My feelings in the field are parallel with my feelings as a woman. They're all tied up together in my femininity, my humanness. I NEED someone to look me in the eyes and touch a part of me that desperately needs to be touched. I need to be held tonight. To be listened to. I'd love to cry in someone's arms. I'd love someone to care how I feel.
How do I find my way back? I feel like a lost child. I came flying out the gates as soon as they were opened and I didn't pay attention to the road I went down. I left no trail as I wandered, seeking someone to love me. I'm lost, and I can't find my way back to the safe place where I didn't need anyone else. I envy the fireman who speaks into the radio, giving his location, and someone comes for him. Or the officer who cues his radio when he can't speak and assistance is sent. There's no radio for me to cue, no location to give, and no light at the end of the tunnel. I'm alone. | |
|
| I need...
Posted: 2/3/2008 3:31:42 AM | | This is a really sensitive piece and well worth exploring where it could take you. Seperation in paragraphing is missing so I'd start there and flesh it out a bit more. | |
|
| I need...
Posted: 2/3/2008 10:01:49 AM | | i love your 'my job/my man'..it brought me such joy....this piece makes me sad...your words evoke such emotion...i want to cradle you in my arms and tell you everything will be alright!!...thanks for posting... | |
|
| I need...
Posted: 2/9/2008 8:18:12 AM | Beaming this is an absolutely beautiful and heartfelt look within yourself that each person does (or should be doing) to come to the answers that only you hold the key to. Your feelings and emotions come across so profoundly and eloquently and you‘ve been blessed with the gift of giving… what a treasure you’ve been given!
Everyone needs touch, whether it’s the touch of arms wrapped around you, or the touch of another soul sharing with you, that feels as if they’re caressing you. It’s ok to feel the need for these, it’s only natural.
Thank you for baring and sharing your heart and soul for the rest of us to see. The ability and desire to write is also a gift, one that can be used as a tool, an outlet for many emotions, questions and thoughts. Continue writing, seeking the answers within yourself and they will come. They’re all in there, wrapped up in their safe little packages just waiting for you to open them up. | |
|
|
Home
login 
