| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 2/3/2008 4:59:53 AM | Why do people say that? Why would you want the object of your desires to age? Is it a control thing?
Surely the right thing to say would be: "If I was a few years younger" thus transporting yourself back in time and make yourself more appealing to those with youth on their side.
This is following on from the men dating older women thread.
So, if you wish them to age rather then for you to get younger is it a maturity issue? | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 2/3/2008 6:26:22 AM | No, there are 2 reasons. I do personally like younger men, but I do have a kind of cut off point.
One of the reasons is experience. someone who is 15/20 years younger hasn't experienced the things that I have (as in major world events, trends etc) They won't be emotional triggered by the nostalgia that I am and look at me like some kind of alian for using certain terminology or referring to ppl/stars of the past that did not stand the test of time. For instance, my son doesn't have a clue who Adam Ant is and looked at me weird when I referred to him recently.
The other reason is. If I think about how old I would have to be to be the ideal age for someone say in their early 20s, I'd realise that I would have been in a coma or getting married, so they still wouldn't be available to me. I don't want to erase my past. The good and bad times have made me who I am today.
Yes... there will always be exception to the rule. I know there are some young ladies and gentlemen that have grown up incredibly quickly and as such can jump through the loop, but even they will have huge differences to someone who is mature due to age.
Lastly there is always that threat in the back of your mind that if you did settle down with someone that was decade/s younger and 10 years down the line they decided they didn't want to be with someone in their 50s+ you would be yet older and alone, while they could easiy move on. Not that you would then be unattractive, but not have the energy to even bother looking again by then or just feel dispondant and disinterested in going through it all over again. | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 2/3/2008 6:52:38 AM | Perhaps they want them to be a few years older because anything under 18 could send them to jail.
.........Bootie is correct on her points. | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 2/3/2008 7:50:48 AM |
One of the reasons is experience. someone who is 15/20 years younger hasn't experienced the things that I have (as in major world events, trends etc)
this is to quote this little part of your comment.. obviously the rest of what you have written makes it all relevent and meaningful...but
i myself am 23 and have experienced alot more in life than some 'adults' would have, i wont bore you with the stories, but in my short 23 years they have been packed with all kinds of experiences, cultures, conflicts. i have travelled the world and worked in a number of foreign countries.
i know age plays a role, but i would be pi55ed if someone said that becaue i was young i was not experienced or cultured enough to date..
dont hink im ranting, im really not, just wanted to say what i had to say :) | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 2/3/2008 2:20:14 PM |
From years gone by...if she was a few years older... the person saying it wouldnt be a paedofile..............
Surely the peadophile would say about many women-folk "Phwoar, if only she was a few years younger" ... ?
I've yet to meet a paedophile. It's not really the kind of thing that people admit to. Maybe if I died my hair blonde, sucked a lolly and hung around parks they'd soon become evident. Have the police tried this approach and I don't mean sting? | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 2/3/2008 2:30:58 PM | Actually I think there are a lot of women out there that are peado's, the difference is when they are having sex with 13-15 year olds it's usually concentual, or they may have even tried to provoke it. I had a chat with a guy tonight who as many others have done before him, told me he lost his virginity at 15 to a 29 year old woman. Having a son of a similar age it made me cringe, but he thought it was great.
Reference the chap who is 23 above who quoted me. I did say that some would jump through the hoop and be very mature for their age due to necessity or as you say travel. My own son has been travelling from the UK to Belgium independently since he was 7. However, you still can't have the nostalgia thing and recollection of major points in time. You can't tell me what you were doing etc. Although maybe you do remember where you were when Lady Di was announced dead? Anything beyond that?
Also, going back to the other thing I mentioned. It sounds like you have had a very busy life. Would you not get bored with living with someone who probably has kids not much younger than yourself and having to go through the normal day to day drudgery that does not include travelling and carefree times?
You can't knock people for being cautious at the prospect of things that may at some time create a void and spoil whatever is good between you. | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 2/6/2008 1:07:02 PM |
However, you still can't have the nostalgia thing and recollection of major points in time. You can't tell me what you were doing etc. Although maybe you do remember where you were when Lady Di was announced dead? Anything beyond that?
what a rediculous comment to make! i dont know what your trying to get at...like its some kind of badge on your arm because you remember points in time!
do you remember the end of world war 2? do you remember what you were doing the moment john f kennedy died? i very much doubt it...
history is history, and i think your comment is a prime example of how age does not really mean anything when it comes to maturity! | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 2/6/2008 1:13:47 PM |
do you remember what you were doing the moment john f kennedy died? i very much doubt it...
Actually, lots of people do and it's a very common question. I don't as I wasn't born but on 9/11 and 11/7 I was off work 'sick' on both occasions and when Diana died I was in the middle of discussing the possibility of aliens with an ex-girlfriend's new boy-friend's mate!
So nerr!  I might start a thread about this actually. | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 2/6/2008 11:58:06 PM |
However, you still can't have the nostalgia thing and recollection of major points in time. You can't tell me what you were doing etc. Although maybe you do remember where you were when Lady Di was announced dead? Anything beyond that?
what a rediculous comment to make! i dont know what your trying to get at...like its some kind of badge on your arm because you remember points in time!
do you remember the end of world war 2? do you remember what you were doing the moment john f kennedy died? i very much doubt it...
history is history, and i think your comment is a prime example of how age does not really mean anything when it comes to maturity
Some kind of badge?
This kind of shows how you just don't get it. It reminds me of one lecture I attended when we were all asked to think of something significant that had happened in our lives and talk about it in a group. I could think of a zillion things, because I have had quite a busy full life, although some of my memories were from childhood and quickly had something in mind to talk about. As we went round the group (which was very varied in ages) Nearly all of the people aged 18 to 23 sat there with blank faces saying... "ummm... not really done anything yet. I'm young!" This was at Uni. They can't be thick or they wouldn't be there.
I want to shake a memory out of them lol. I guess they thought of themselves as a blank page at the start of their journey. I'm in the middle of my journey and I do think it would be a shame that I couldn't share my pages that are already filled with someone I loved, other than departing a history lesson to them (as you put it). For me it's not history, it's my life. | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 2/7/2008 4:03:15 AM | I was not born for WWII but remember very clearly the day JFK was shot. I remember teachers with tears streaming down their faces--men and women alike. I remember that I was Mrs. Kinard's 5-6 Language Arts Class, 8th grade. My chair was part of the right hand semi circle that the desks made. I even remember the flowery dress and black, t strap shoes she was wearing and the sad look on her face when she told us what had happened............the erie silence that took over a normally noisy middle school. A badge? No. A life experience which brought this nation to its knees and brought it together. Nothing has since. School was let out early, we all went home to find our mothers--if they were stay at homes--crying in front of the TV. Watching the fuzzy pictures of a beautiful Jackie in her pink suit and pillbox hat, ever being the lady. The signing in of LBJ. The somber mood of the funeral and Caroline and John-John. His salute. Someone 20-30 years younger would only remember the magazine George and that John Kennedy Jr's mother Jackie died and later he was killed in a plane crash. The thoughts on his death were rememberance of him as a child saluting his fathers's casson not that he was a guy Darryl Hannah dated.
We remember these things because they have shaped the world as it is. Besides JFK, I remember Sputnik----the space launching and the dog that the Russians gave the president to commerate it. You think nothing of the space program now, but when it was new it was a big deal. Cell phones. Our phones were very much grounded and when I moved to Tennessee at age 5, we still had party lines. You shared a phone line with 4 other families and when you picked up the phone you heard voices and you waited for your turn to call. If it was an emergency, you told your neighbor who relinquished the phone line for you to call but they showed up on your doorstep to render help before your call was finished. I have lived through history, to some very young, they only see me as old. To me it signifies how much life I have experienced and how much you have yet to discover. Be aware of the world around you. Do you remember when the Berlin wall came down? I remember when it was built. Families were on the other side of the city when the police action began and without papers they were not allowed to return home. Most did not have phones and had no way to notify family members what had happened. If parents lived on one side of the wall and grown children on the other, often the parents died and never saw their children again and never the grandchildren. When that wall came down, it was a big deal.
To you, I am old. To me, I have lived through some of the most world changing historical times. You will too, if you only open your eyes and ears to embrace and soak up what is happening around you. It is not that you are not experienced, you just don't share the same experiences. What you consider the norm in every day life, we remember when it did not exist. That is not a slam, just a statement. I can embrace the things you know about, the things you have experienced but you may not understand (not a slam, again) the reaction to a current thing is based on something that we experienced early on, i.e. the raising and destruction of the Berlin Wall and what transpired in the middle.
A lot of men want a really young gal to relieve their youth or have children, but it is her body he wants, not her experiences with the world. A lot of women want really young men to keep up with our activity levels. I am not saying those relationships don't work. Some do. But there are also times, when the beautiful young woman wakes up and realizes she is sleeping with an old man and has a young child and her young life is zipping by. She leaves and he starts looking for a woman with whom he has more in common. If he finds her, most women quickly says no to raising a 5 year old. She wants uninterupped time with the man in her life. Just because we want someone closer to our age is not a slam at "your lack of life experiences", it simply means you have not experienced the bulk of what we have.
Our life experiences contribute to who we are and how we react to new things. What we remember is part of what we share to make our new beginnings. | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 4/2/2008 12:53:30 PM |
Why do people say that? Why would you want the object of your desires to age? Is it a control thing?
Surely the right thing to say would be: "If I was a few years younger" thus transporting yourself back in time and make yourself more appealing to those with youth on their side.
But I don't want to be a spotty angst ridden teenager again, I've got experiences that, for good and bad, I want to keep. So when I see certain peeps from college who are way, way too young for me I go for the "I wish he was older" option.
I also agree most strongly with Bootie, I've spent the last five years among people significantly younger than me, who don't have a clue what I'm on about or look at me funny when I remember something that, to them, is something from the history book. As for fashion, well... | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 4/2/2008 4:35:16 PM |
Perhaps they want them to be a few years older because anything under 18 could send them to jail
Only if you want to take them for a drink first. It's perfectly legal to have sex with a sober sixteen year old in England. | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 4/2/2008 4:37:38 PM |
So, if you wish them to age rather then for you to get younger is it a maturity issue?
Or it could have something to do with the age of consent. Just ask Mr Glitter. | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 4/2/2008 4:41:41 PM | perfectly legal to have sex with a sober sixteen year old in England.
Phew !! So the strawberry milkshake in Burger King prior to the event is okay then ?
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 4/2/2008 4:53:20 PM |
Phew !! So the strawberry milkshake in Burger King prior to the event is okay then ?
You're splashing out a bit. Have they all got wise to your bag of sweeties ruse these days? | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 4/2/2008 4:57:09 PM |
Phew !! So the strawberry milkshake in Burger King prior to the event is okay then ?
Do they not do Cherry Milkshakes? Ahh 16 see what ya mean. | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 4/2/2008 5:47:47 PM | | I say if I was a *lot* younger, now I'm old enough to welcome losing years rather than wanting others to gain years. I used to think that age difference doesn't matter and to some extent still do in the short term, but long term........... | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 4/3/2008 1:55:03 AM |
what a rediculous comment to make! i dont know what your trying to get at...like its some kind of badge on your arm because you remember points in time!
do you remember the end of world war 2? do you remember what you were doing the moment john f kennedy died? i very much doubt it...
history is history, and i think your comment is a prime example of how age does not really mean anything when it comes to maturity
I disagree, having some experience with women who are a fair bit older than me, stuff like that is important. If you grow up 15 years apart times have changed, realistically the things you have in common will be different because of this. Also people are always growing up, learning more etc etc. You've traveled the world, no offence but that just doesnt mean anything anymore, the whole world travel experience has become so tame. To gain experience in life takes time, regardless of whoever you try and fool into thinking it doesn't, by not understanding the ladies point of view you're simply showing that you haven't gained any maturity because, effectively you're saying your opinion is the only correct answer, when I'm sure this lady speaks from experience.
End of the day, in some circumstances it works, great. But in the vast majority it never works because of the whole difference in youth culture, life experiences (kids etc) and just everyones general attitudes. Just my personal opinion, I'm sure you will tell me I'm wrong, but that's ok, I'm sure I am. | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 4/3/2008 4:03:14 AM |
It's perfectly legal to have sex with a sober sixteen year old in England
Thats assuming you can find a 16 year old in the UK who is sober !! | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 7/12/2009 1:52:32 AM | | [/Quote my son doesn't have a clue who adam ant is] well I can honestly understand the dissapointment of an individuals lack of knowledge when it comes to adam ant I am only 19 but my word he is so incredibly sexy it should be mandatory for us all to be aware of him if only I could meet a guy with dark hair who'd dress up as him my word id certainly be a happy woman hehe | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 7/12/2009 2:34:14 AM | I think that when men date a woman 15 to 20 years younger, it appears to be more generally acceptable than a woman dating a guy with that age gap. My ex is 9 years my junior he was 18 when we married and I spent 28 years with him. Though in the first few days of our dating, my brothers comments of " toyboy " used to irritate me :(
I have had lovely, intelligent young men ask to meet me, however my thoughts were " if only I were younger " but its what you feel comfortable with. For me, a man nearer to my age is my preference. | |
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Joe1uk
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Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 23 | |
| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 7/12/2009 2:42:49 AM | quote didn't work cos you put text in the wrong place.
[q0ute]put the text here[/qu0te]
I seem to get on with women that are a few years older than me. Younger women seem so immature. | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 7/12/2009 2:46:28 AM | I don't see the issue?
It really is just a comment that you can see someone is too young for YOU, but if they were older, you would. I sometimes think it about women in their low 30s, me being 43. How depressing is that! | |
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| If she was a few years older....
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:16:11 PM | | No way!!! Alot of younger ones seem so immature....imo the best looking woman on forums is a damn site older than me so when i was single i would have probably wished to have been 20 years older | |
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