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Show ALL Forums  > Manitoba  > HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real      Home login  
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 SmilingOne
Joined: 6/5/2006
Msg: 1
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HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)

HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real


If there is one statement I hate with a passion, it's this one.

How can it not be real? When you go do your banking online, is that balance you see in front of you real?
When you read the news online, is that not real? How about that item you’re purchasing on e-bay?
How about when you’re on a dating site, looking at pictures and talking to potential dates, is that not real?

If it’s not, then what is it and what are you doing there? This cyber land that you’re in, is it something you created in your head? And if so, who’s worst off? The people like you who don’t think it’s real and created a fantasy illusion for yourself or the people who actually treat it like it’s something real and tangible?

OR! Is it not real in the forum/posting sites only? (Funny how people would draw the line there) And would that be because you’re not going to express yourself like that in person?

I anticipate some really good answers from some of the bigger ***holes in here, should be interesting. I've already heard that some of you think it's a game blah blah blah. This isn't about bashing, this isn't about the petty crap that's going on in here...Is it real or isn't it? And it can't be real for one reason and phoney for the next. All or nothing baby, pick a side.
 A Purrrfect Pisces
Joined: 11/12/2006
Msg: 2
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 6:41:54 AM
I think it's all just an illusion ......... and I wanna play too.

PP
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 9/6/2007
Msg: 3
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 6:43:59 AM
I say real-and I act no different when posting here, than I do in real life.
 SmilingOne
Joined: 6/5/2006
Msg: 4
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HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 6:48:37 AM
I say real-and I act no different when posting here, than I do in real life.


I'm the same way. I'm not afraid to say in person what I've typed here.

This is not a forum protest...(wtf is that btw? ) It was a comment made in another thread and I'm bringing it to it's own thread. That other thread has enough problems of it's own.
 ryn48
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 5
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 6:54:07 AM
I believe that the effects are real. For example, identity theft is very real. Much of that occurs by not being aware of the reality of the internet.

The remark that perhaps this type of site "is not real" is an interesting one. Every time we post something sets a tone of what others will think of us. Whether or not we care does not matter - it happens. As people, we judge, or at the very least do a "I sort of have an opinion but I will solidify that later" sort of approach - either a little or a lot. Every contact (whether we think it real or not) adds to this. It may very well be a wrong assumption - but it is still made on various levels.

Many times I wonder how much has changed since grade school where kids would call each other out and kick the crap out of each other, either physically or verbally. Each of these incidents sets a tone. We may not like it, nor do we even have to accept it - it is just there. To conclude that it is not real, in mho, would be inaccurate.

Just my 2 cents.
 Aurora Starr*
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 6
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HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 6:54:20 AM
I was thinking the same thing..what is a Forum Protest...here let me hand out those picket signs for you Smilingone!!

I will say some of the these things in real life and I'm the same happy person in real life!
I know she drives me nuts to some days!! mahahhahah
 Piklee
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 7
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 6:56:38 AM

Reason for Requested Deletion: Forum Protest


Apparently it must be real. It has to be real or invisible people are trying to delete it.

I like to compare the forums to the invention of the gun. Before the gun if you had a problem with someone you had to be face to face with a sword to settle the dispute. After the gun, any loser that could point and pull the trigger at a great distance became a threat and had power. The internet lets some pull the trigger from the safety of their homes and the chances of actually meeting anyone that has gone out of their way to offend is slim and none. Luckily these people are the minority on POF and usually they get their profiles pulled in due time. Some who are offensive get banned but come back under new names, but these are generally part of the POF community and it just wouldn't be the same without them.

I miss Justa and BS. Just sayin is all
 MyKidsDad66
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 8
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HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 6:59:05 AM
I agree and I disagree at the same time.

Here is not a place, here is just another virtual access point to something that exists in the physical world, much like all of your other examples. Online banking is a virtual access point to the physical bank. POF is a virtual access point to a physical meeting or group discussion in the case of the forums.

Here is real. In fact, in my mind, it is more real than a physical meeting as a tangible artifact is left behind. If we all went to a common place and chatted, it would be physically difficult to catch every conversation going on and we would all have to rely on our respective memories as to what was said. In the forums, time stands still once a post is made so each of us can read what each other person has posted and there is a digital artifact of what was said.

For me, that artifact is what makes a POF forum valuable from the perspective of deciding who I DON'T want to meet. I like reading posts from people who consistently display wit and intelligence. We all can type something ridiculous in the heat of a passionate discussion, but the ones who always have a disconnect between their brains and their fingers are a huge turn off. I think that a modified version of the carpenter's rule should be something that everyone needs to apply more often in the forums.

Think twice, type once.
 A Purrrfect Pisces
Joined: 11/12/2006
Msg: 9
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 7:11:50 AM
Wow MKD that was deep and impressive. it's a more sophisticated version of what I posted earlier th is morning in my How Internet Dating Has Changed You thread - which got hijacked.

Seeing you in that suit, I always feel like I need to sit up straighter when posting after you .....
PP
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 9/6/2007
Msg: 10
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 7:14:00 AM
I have to agree with MKD above, these forums have saved me a few times....Some people's profiles seem to be written one way, to showcase a "tender heart" so to speak...and they post completely different.

Or, if they have no concept of the english language, I will pass too. This is a handy-dandy tool for weeding out the social retards, for sure. I wish more people would use these forums though.
 _Steamer_
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 11
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 7:41:41 AM

it is more real than a physical meeting as a tangible artifact is left behind.


Just to expand on MKD's point, you can lookup posts from years ago using Google, so whatever you say may be available forever.
 MyKidsDad66
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 12
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HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 7:53:32 AM

Wow MKD that was deep and impressive.

Not bad for a Chinaman, huh? I give all the credit to Sesame Street. When I was a kid, Chinese was the only language spoken at home so my older brother and I literally learned English from Sesame Street. As I have stated before in the forums, I'm not sure why people get freaked out when I count things...ONE (hahaha)...TWO(hahaha)...THREE(hahaha)


Seeing you in that suit, I always feel like I need to sit up straighter when posting after you .....

The sad thing is that I have a closet full of suits that I rarely get to wear anymore as so many workplaces are "business casual" these days. I'm one of the few people who actually is comfortable wearing a suit as I used to wear one every day in the good old days. That picture was taken over the New Year as I was on a Caribbean cruise for new years.

On Topic, JCS's comments about grasp and use of the language are bang on. I certainly hope that some of the people who write so atrociously in the forums don't actually speak that way...yikes.
 A Purrrfect Pisces
Joined: 11/12/2006
Msg: 13
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 7:57:55 AM
The sad thing is that I have a closet full of suits that I rarely get to wear anymore


Well I think you wear it very well and look very handsome ......

Be the rebel in your office, wear a suit anyway! Co-workers will either gossip amongst themselves thinking you've gotten a promotion or ........... they'll want your meds ....

Who cares! If we can do it on the net, we can do it in real life.

PP
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 14
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HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 8:16:03 AM
I think MKD defined "here" very accurately, and the comments about the difference between a written profile and forum postings are quite interesting.

I think that the forums are just another way to try and learn about people by finding irregularities between a person's thought process and what is written in their "scripted" profiles. I have read forum postings where a man has caught my attention from what he posted, and when I read his profile found the messages not consistant and would have passed his profile by as "not interesting". A forum posting has caused me to contact a man.

I believe that this site can be as much or as little as a person wants to get from it. I also believe that because so many people are looking for so many different things, that online dating can be very hard on someone who takes things way to seriously and desperately wants to be with someone. It provides an environment to be played, and that is something that I think is just wrong, but unfortunately some people are just opportunists and dont take anothers feelings in consideration. JMHO

For me online dating is one of the many options I have for meeting new people. I enjoy the site, reading profiles, the forums and some events. Its all about what you make of it, and what your expectations are.
 ryn48
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 15
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 12:22:12 PM
The one thing that attracted me to DMNR was his way of disagreeing with those who held opposing opinions to his. No name calling - just put his opinion in a logical "this is what I think, this is why I think it" format. As MKD said you do weed out those that post and measure it to the kind of person you might want to get to know better. Or not.

There is no way on earth we are all going to agree on everything. But there are ways of expressing yourself and showing your views and why you think a particular way, that does not have to be degrading, derogatory or beligerant.
 RedDeb1
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 16
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 1:48:20 PM
Some tend to forget that there are real people, personalities and feelings behind each keyboard/computer.

I too express my opinions right or wrong on here or in person. How others perceive it and react to my opnions is their choice to do so and to form and express their own opinions. We are only responsible for our own reactions.

I also dislike that statement that its not real. Its just another avenue for communication not much different then in the day of pen pals but much quicker.
 Danooooo
Joined: 7/13/2007
Msg: 17
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 2:27:55 PM
I dunno...I grabbed someone's ass from POF on Friday night. It sure felt real to me...and pretty damn fine too!
 Perfect_Gentleman
Joined: 9/14/2005
Msg: 18
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 2:55:31 PM
I think labelling the Pond as not real is more a statement of frustration than of fact.

I think the frustration aspect is borne out of the deceit of many who participate. With the internet in general, many people are not truthful. Some of the untruths may be fairly minor lies such as people giving fake addresses and names when registering for a website or software because they don't want the inevitable flood of junk mail. Others are more sinister such as the various hoaxes that have been perpetrated to collect money on behalf of a non-existent victim. Who hasn't been the recipient of an e-mail from that Nigerian Prince?

Taking this a step further to POF. We sometimes see deceit. Some people lie about various aspects of themselves on their profiles. Some are easy to spot, such as the person who grossly misrepresents his (her) height or weight or other physical characteristic. Others are not so easy, such as the person who is attached, but doesn't reveal this. We also see this in the forums, some people write inconsistent posts or lie about themselves in their posts. Some may post ideas that they don't believe in, just to get a rise out of others in order to promote the conflict that they thrive on.

Does this make it all an illusion? I say no. The majority of people on POF and other dating sites never bother with the forums. They scour the profiles and continue on until they find a relationship or give up and try another site or another means of finding someone.

Let us look at the "real world." People there can try to con us just as much as on the internet, if not more. Everything from tin men to false hard luck stories by panhandlers are presented to us frequently. We read of investment scams and on and on.

As for not behaving the same in "real life." Look at the success of those who are paid to have opinions. No matter what outrageous thing the next Howard Stern or Peter Warren or Don Cherry exclaims, it creates notoriety and that sells. Do you they always give their "true opinion?"

Being frustrated and somewhat disillusioned over being conned can arise no matter the medium, whether it is face to face or over the internet. It doesn't make it any less real.
 wpg_chick_84
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 19
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 3:37:43 PM
I think it's a lot easier to lie/misrepresent yourself on the net. You can post fake/ old photos of yourself with more hair and fewer lbs. You can think carefully about what you say before replying to an e-mail to make things perfect. You don't give out those subtle clues that show you're lying when you tell someone you have an amazing job that pays 6 figures and you have a nice house and all that when you're really working at McDonald's flipping burgers and live in your parent's basement. These only show up in person, and sometimes a few people can pick this up on the phone.
 Narkle
Joined: 12/15/2007
Msg: 20
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 3:45:37 PM
Well, I've read it all and I can say that I agree with #18 (OH my GOD !! It's the devil! LOL) and #19 for the most part too...

When I first started on here actually reading these forums, I coud not believe the amount of disgruntled people out there.

But after being pissed off myself I can now see it. At times it is easy to laugh the stuff off - other times it just gets to you for whatever reason - and for better or worse (worse mostly) one jumps in.
Ya - it was a lack of discipline. (There ! You have it! )
As for it being real? It isn't. Yes there are words typed in and posted but whatever. ..

People who think the words here matter are part of the issue - they need to believe and feel like their words hold some water and try to make this place more real than just people blabbing in a social setting.

For me it is (was?) a place to have fun (mostly) and who hasn't had a crappy day or week??
Does one week of posting to what others were b!tching about wipe out the rest of the 'ok' ones? Sadly for a some - yes it does! (But - they are not the reason I am here anyway... )
 DisMember
Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 21
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 4:46:22 PM
Excuse the long winded post.....

Define "real"..?....sure this place exists in the land of the internet... but in a sense....I don't think this place is real....it's just some virtual area...everybody is here for their own reasons....

People on these forums don't know me....they know my posts...and does that encompass all of what or who I am..? Hardly... Do I act the same way when I'm out in the "real" world..? who knows...Maybe I'm pretending to be a cold hearted b it ch...or maybe I really am one...but nobody really knows....and that's goes for everyone else that posts....we don't know one another from a hole in the wall....and until I do meet you and form some sort of relationship outside of the confines of our computers..to me you aren't real....if I wanted to I could remove you with a click of the red x...now can I do that in real life..? sometimes I wish I could...but the "real" world doesn't work that way..

For those that take some of the posts to heart....seriously...get over it....quite a few people (myself included) come here for shits and giggles...I don't care what I say and to who....because to me you aren't "real"....So if you are sitting there and I or someone else has said something to you that hurt your feelings....just think about it for a second...why are you letting people that do not know you or barely know you get to you..? Evidently there are bigger issues at hand...

So those of you that are sitting behind their computers day in a day out and think you truly have "real" relationships because you communicate with your "friends" or whoever through type...you are just kidding yourselves...that person that you think is your "friend" could very well be a complete fake...and just toying with you for kicks.....now could that happen in "real" life..? sure....but it's a hell of a lot harder to pull off....

In any case...for those of you who think this is "real"....enjoy your delusional life behind the glow of your computer monitor....
 LIKEM
Joined: 6/9/2006
Msg: 22
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 4:53:56 PM
Online dating site is a combination of Fantasy and real. So many profiles want to give an impression, and are not real, the profiles enjoy living behind their computer and want to portray someone who they are not....yes it is a game and they can be anyone they want. I would think most profiles are real, yet have to excercise so much caution when contacted by someone, because of previous online expereinces( I am sure we all have a horror story or two)

I would have to agree that the forums do give an indication of a posters charecter, thoughts and attitude in life. In life you can learn a lot by listening( reading posts) without saying a word.

The real world would be meeting and talking in person, you can pick up and get a real feel about a prson on how they carry themselves and how they carry a conversation.

In todays world the online site can be a "vehicle" to get to know someone to meet in the "real" world.
 A Purrrfect Pisces
Joined: 11/12/2006
Msg: 23
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 4:54:41 PM
I'd like to think I treat people with the same respect I'd hope to get in return; be it on the internet or in person. I may have deeper relationships with some and nothing more than communication with others. Regardless, I am who I am, and I don't pretend to be anything other than that. But then that's just me.

As far as POF, I've always said that you can see the true identity of a person once they start posting in a thread as opposed to who they may portray themselves to be in a profile; especially when the shit splattering starts, people let their guard down and their true colors do show.

PP
 peek~a~booo
Joined: 1/3/2007
Msg: 24
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 5:12:04 PM
If this is real then everyone who does needs to listen up...come close to monitor...


sticks tongue in ear....slappppps back of head...falk me.
pass the stoggy there smilin one...where is the sex in this here thread.....TW we neeeeed you darlin.

how about we use some logic and choose to give gravity to content,,,,,since we can clearly grasp context.....i i spell like shit and i figured it out wtf is your excuse....

the anger everyone is so offended by is a stage...we all have had anger...is part of life...so together we challenge each other ......(sparrin is a blast)...once you meet in person it is a bigger blast.....and when we sense serious ground we try to spare no time in leveling to real life...the harley thread says it all....that was real.
like for goodness sake if every thread was about food it would be lame.


you have to expect folks from day to day have stuff.

I would say.......if it is serious you can scence the momentum and no one falks around in it...for new bee's look for the harley thread or can someone bring up..it shows we are a h3ll of a group when we are serious...but most time we are here to try a make folks smile...cus laffing makes a hurt heart's feeeeeeeeeel good.
don't worry folks we will not play if we know is real stuff...good grief ya want a fairy tale ...bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz pof.
like paper plane off top of parkade every single day....smiles have a good one kids
 LIKEM
Joined: 6/9/2006
Msg: 25
HERE is not a place, it's the internet. It’s not real
Posted: 2/4/2008 5:12:19 PM

People on these forums don't know me....they know my posts...and does that encompass all of what or who I am..? Hardly... Do I act the same way when I'm out in the "real" world..? who knows...Maybe I'm pretending to be a cold hearted b it ch...or maybe I really am one...but nobody really knows....and that's goes for everyone else that posts....we don't know one another from a hole in the wall.


Deviant ....your posts do give insight on part of you...a witty female who likes to stir the pot and keep things on the light side for entertainment purposes...I am sure there is a lot of other sides to you that you share with the people in your "real" life.

Keeping it "real" doesn't mean you can't have fun
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