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| Whats up with leaving your profile online when you'er involved ?
Posted: 2/4/2008 5:58:56 PM | tons of reasons for doing this:
-forums
-too lazy to remove profile
-a way of killing time if you REALLY can't find anything else to do
*****-a way of keeping yourself in check when entering a new relationship*****
Notice all the ***'s there? Well I figured a lot of people are either gonna get real fired up or just scratch their heads over that one. I just think that when you first start dating someone (before the whole exclusive talk) that it's a way of not letting yourself dive in head first. Reminding yourself that yes, there ARE other fish in the sea, and this one doesn't have to be "the one". A lot of people really fall head first before a real relationship is even established and it just ends up being bad for both people, this is one way to avoid that. | |
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| Whats up with leaving your profile online when you'er involved ?
Posted: 2/4/2008 6:02:54 PM |
Notice all the ***'s there? Well I figured a lot of people are either gonna get real fired up or just scratch their heads over that one. I just think that when you first start dating someone (before the whole exclusive talk) that it's a way of not letting yourself dive in head first. Reminding yourself that yes, there ARE other fish in the sea, and this one doesn't have to be "the one". A lot of people really fall head first before a real relationship is even established and it just ends up being bad for both people, this is one way to avoid that.
thats a very true and legitimate reason. a lot of people confuse lust for love, and keeping yourself open to at least viewing other prospects could help keep that in check, as you said. | |
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| Whats up with leaving your profile online when you'er involved ?
Posted: 2/4/2008 6:20:55 PM | It's called trust........some people like to stay and write in the forums......
***Oh please! You can't let a relationship bloom if you are always thinking the grass may be greener on the other side***
Writing to people-having friends and writing in forums has nothing to do with thinking the grass is greener elsewhere.
***Maybe you just don't want to really get close to somebody.***
Maybe I just don't want to smother someone to death---people need other people--friends--Yes Even when they are in a relationship. Secure would be the word here. | |
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| Whats up with leaving your profile online when you'er involved ?
Posted: 2/4/2008 6:30:33 PM |
feel like I'm being toyed with when I get the "thanks but I' m involved with someone" message seems like false advertising.
Gotta agree with you there. When I was in a relationship my profile said so and it also stated that I was seeking friends. | |
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| Whats up with leaving your profile online when you'er involved ?
Posted: 2/4/2008 6:48:27 PM | i have a girlfriend that i met on this site...she is the absolute best.
i have no desire to meet anyone else, and that is clearly outlined on my profile, but i am addicted to the forums. i find it a great distraction during the day. i have discussed this with her and she is fine with my being here. she trusts me and i trust her...you may not see the need for me to be here, and infact it is not a need, it is an innocent pleasure ...fortunately i have met someone that let's me indulge myself and trusts me.
just so you know...her trust is not misplaced. i wish everyone the same happiness that i have found. | |
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| Whats up with leaving your profile online when you'er involved ?
Posted: 2/4/2008 8:01:25 PM | I agree it is Ok if you state in your profile that you are involved - so far that has no been the case.
Coming at this as a guy, all I can say is that unless you have actually communicated with him the topic of your relationship, outlining expectations and boundaries, you really don't have anything to whine about.
Because unless you've actually talked like two adults, then this is a case of you having groundless expectations of another person whom is not a mind reader.
Perhaps getting out of the Jane Austin frame of mind and clicking with things as they are today (as compared to way back when), would be of benefit? Perhaps I'm askin' ya to take it like a man... then again, we're all equal... right?
my 2 cents. | |
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| Whats up with leaving your profile online when you'er involved ?
Posted: 2/4/2008 8:18:23 PM | I can't think of a positive, healthy explanation for leaving your profile online if you are "involved" with someone. How can you really participate in an "involvment" when you are still checking the trafic flow?
Unless you are on this site with a profile clearly stating you are involved and also, your mate is fully aware of this, you should expect others to think you are a player.
On many ocassions there has been threads started where the OP has openly criticised his/her mate. This person goes on and on about their mate being a jerk. However, when you check the OP's profile, there is absolutely no indication that this person (the OP) is involved. In fact, it usually suggests the exact opposite.
But then again, there is a married woman on this site with nearly 1,600 members who placed her on their fav's list. Unwittingly, as expected, many men submitted testimonials in her profile, basically exposing the fact they do/will cheat with married woman.
I wonder how many of the 1,600 men are involved with another woman? Probably more than we would like to believe..... kinda. | |
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| Whats up with leaving your profile online when you'er involved ?
Posted: 2/4/2008 8:35:55 PM | 1) I have friends on the site.
2) I enjoy the forums.
3) I clearing state I'm taken, and have been openly announcing my boyfriends greatness all over the forums. Seriously, I have to feel sorta bad for all the rest of the women, because I got the best guy that ever came onto this site.  (hee heee)
4) I'm not looking, not even considering, not having any thoughts about anyone on the side.
5) I let my boyfriend know I'm here. In fact, I've told him lots of stories about "the forum people." He says you're all nuts. :-p
6) I don't believe a relationship means one should not maintain happy, great relationships. In fact, I would say that a contributing factor to marriage problems is that they separate themselves off from everyone else. Most women I know disappear as soon as they are involved with someone. Plus, humans are complex and have more than 1-2 needs and it's unfair to expect one person to fulfill every last need. My boyfriend doesn't like long winded discussions on social issues, so I have a friend that I can spend hours talking to about that stuff instead. I also have a roller blading buddy, a drink and listen to bad music buddy, a grunge music buddy, a do things that people tend to do with their kids buddy, a couple of unique artsy buddies, and a "do the girly thing" friend. Some of these things would make my boyfriend chew his foot off at the ankle in an effort to escape. | |
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| Whats up with leaving your profile online when you'er involved ?
Posted: 2/4/2008 9:58:59 PM | Define Involved? Is the wedding next week? If it is, no then
I would say a person shouldn't be looking!
How long do you see someone before you are exclusive?
And I'm not suggesting sleeping around.
This is a dating site. People date more then one person at a time.
That's what dating is all about! | |
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| Whats up with leaving your profile online when you'er involved ?
Posted: 2/5/2008 1:09:53 AM | Well, since RedCassandra has infected me with some sort of mind worm... I'm pretty much her drone now... before I put it in my profile that I was a no longer in control of my own mental faculties I turned down 3 separate requests from women who were interested... told them all I was taken, but my profile didn't say I was. I felt like a bit of a dip for turning down requests for that reason, so I figured I'd go ahead and update my profile to show as unavailable. I've been told that maybe I was a bit too quick to take myself off the market.
Alternatively... if you contact guys, they look like they're single, but they tell you they're not... that could just mean they have the testicular fortitude to turn you down with the truth. | |
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| Whats up with leaving your profile online when you'er involved ?
Posted: 2/5/2008 1:31:31 AM |
But from my point of view, I spend time coming up with a good response to a profile and feel like I'm being toyed with when I get the "thanks but I' m involved with someone" message seems like false advertising.
Might be they are giving you the "polite no".... like the gal you meet IRL, who says she has a bf but what she really means is she's not interested in you.
Might be they have started dating someone, but it hasn't evolved to the point of being a "relationship" yet. | |
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| Whats up with leaving your profile online when you'er involved ?
Posted: 2/5/2008 3:38:06 AM | | I think some of the folks here like the forum and chat all of the time. Having a posted profile does not mean you are looking. At the same time I see your point. It makes you wonder if some folks are really just keeping the fire warm under another prospect incase the flame in the current blazing romance goes out? | |
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| Whats up with leaving your profile online when you'er involved ?
Posted: 2/5/2008 5:56:26 AM | I host events in Orillia (McCabes) - I tried to leave the site when I met my new boyfriend in September. The people who come to my events convinced me to continue on hosting saying that I do a great job and shouldn't leave!
My new boyfriend is fine with me hosting and we both have a great time.
I also enjoy the forums and the friends I have made here. My profile clearly states that I'm not available. | |
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| Whats up with leaving your profile online when you'er involved ?
Posted: 2/5/2008 6:58:50 AM | Actually, you can have your profile up but go invisible.
That just means you have your profile up but you use
the edit option of hiding your profile. You will not be
shown in the "who viewed" section and the chat feature
is disabled....but you can still post in the Forums. You're
still a member but you won't have any complications of
explaining how you're only here for the Forums. | |
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