| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/5/2008 7:30:03 PM | I need some help. Because I am not a huge fan of emailing I usually offer my cell number to someone who sends me a note and we are both interested in getting to know each other. Why would this put a man off??? I keep loosing "potential" interests that never call or email back . What gives?
I don't feel like I can read a person very well through emails.... hearing someone on the phone really is faster and doesn't waist tons of time typing. What is your take on this?
Stumped! | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/5/2008 8:00:30 PM | When a guy gives me his phone number in his first or second email, it just says to me that he's "desperate".... it makes me think that he doesn't even want to get to know someone well enough to know if he wants them to have his number. He just gives it out freely, hoping 'someone' will call.
Maybe the guys who get your phone number on the first email or two are thinking the same way???
(Wouldn't that be a switch; guys and girls thinking alike....)
I wish you luck. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/5/2008 8:32:29 PM | nothing wrong with giving out your number if you feel the conversation escalating to the point where text just doesn't do..
maybe you should just set up a date or a simple meet to talk over coffee first.. somewhere public.. then if you think the guy is worth a second look hint around to another date or someone to call someone.. eventually numbers will be exchanged.
what did people do before the internet.. smoke signals?
lol | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/5/2008 8:45:53 PM |
I usually offer my cell number to someone who sends me a note and we are both interested in getting to know each other. Why would this put a man off?
Because it's too much too soon. I look for chemistry in this order: Profile, email, IM, phone, face to face. Some say I'm overly cautious; I say I'm not in a rush and prefer quality over quantity when dating. Like Unique, I received an introductory email in which the man offered his personal email address and his phone number. It was a turn off. It's either presumptuous or desperate and neither one is very attractive. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/5/2008 8:46:08 PM | | If a man wants to get to know you better or talk to you, why not let him ask for your number? Some men don't like when they feel controlled ( or out of control ) when it comes to the pace of dating- you presenting it as "Hi I'm interested call me!!!"-- might be a bit too fast. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/5/2008 8:47:02 PM | I usually give my home phone number which I recycle every couple of years and I have call screening and vmail. Chatting online is different from a phone chat. I like to hear a live voice before meeting.
And, what's with guys speaking with their most sensual tone!! It creeps me out esp when it's only a couple email exchanges. | |
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| Giving or Asking for someone's phone number...
Posted: 2/5/2008 9:22:59 PM |
...what did people do before the INTERNET.. smoke signals?
Before the INTERNET there were Ads in the paper, and mutually interested people talked to one another.
What a concept: Being able to talk to comfortably someone you might want to go out with!
Here's an even wilder one: Being able to talk comfortably to someone you *are* going out with..
I say call ASAP; weeds out the whiney voices/personalities fast fast fast; then meet one another (ASAP) if you click a bit on the phone.
The question ( to me) is: Are we here to dance around one another - afraid to get up-close and personal, or do we want to MEET someone and maybe begin a relationship?
:peace:
P.S. "Their wives don't like them on the phone all damn night." had me ROTFLMAO | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/5/2008 9:25:23 PM | | Hi looking4you45 .I think it is good thing to give out your cell number as long as you have chatted enough toget comfortable with the person.Not your home number.I am old fashioned and it does speed up the meeting proccess...so in anut shell go for but be carefull. Good fishing..condimentsforyou... | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/5/2008 9:32:13 PM |
I keep loosing "potential" interests that never call or email back . What gives?
OP: You're not doing anything wrong. You're just cutting to the chase, and any guy who is really interested in you would use the number quickly. That's the whole point of being on here (if you really want to date). Keep doing what you're doing, OP. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/5/2008 10:22:17 PM | Doing the email thing is fine, then messenger, then phone when planning on more and/or meeting.
If you are truly going to try to meet, the phone call is a necessity, and will help promote that happening. You will not really know if you want to meet until you know them better, and that takes some emails and messaging......
Just my opinion.......   | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/5/2008 10:41:59 PM | If you concentrate on sparking and amplifying the man's interest
with your emails, and then wait for him to ask for your number,
your success rate will skyrocket. Try it both ways and see which
works better for you. I already know the answer but it's more
convincing to prove it to yourself. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/6/2008 12:30:39 AM | Well,im one of these who gives out my phone no. pretty quickly coz i really couldn't be bothered emailing back & forth forever...& im a lousy typist !!
Plus,you get a much better idea about someone over the phone,ie: are they articulate,humourous,easy 2 talk to,laugh easily,etc...
If a guy disappears & doesnt ring,i dont give him a 2nd thought...just keep moving,... | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/6/2008 12:46:17 AM | Depends how quick the numbers coming out... it sounds like it's almost right away. I'd be running away from that. I'm not comfortable with talking to someone from the internet that quick. Some of my friends that I've met online and talked to on the phone had to wait months before that happened. Obviously that isn't the case with someone here if there's something potential, but I don't want to be talking on the phone right away.
It doesn't take too long for me to be comfortable with talking on the phone, but certainly not the first couple times messaging. Usually it'd be after IMing for a little bit since that gives an even better idea than the not so quick regular messages. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/6/2008 1:47:46 AM |
David Lewis wrote:
If you concentrate on sparking and amplifying the man's interest
with your emails, and then wait for him to ask for your number,
your success rate will skyrocket. Try it both ways and see which
works better for you. I already know the answer but it's more
convincing to prove it to yourself.
I'm inclined to agree with what David wrote here.
CJ | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/6/2008 3:22:33 AM | Well, guys seem to give their ph #s out pretty quick on here or want to move to the ph.. I dont give ph # out because im here for friends...and ive had to change my ph # too many times over the years. re non stop calling..
I agree re voice etc though but I do that online through another programme and can see people too.... so I see facial expressions/voice etc..
I do also have quite a few friends going through some bad stuff recently(im giving my time to them) and find I like to know If someone is just really lonely, I dont really have the time to be on ph for hours.
I like to get to know peoples characters before , they get personal contact.
especially since reading forums.lol
1 guy from overseas used to ph me all hrs(we are on different time zones) I ended up not answering ph for awhile.
smiles/peace | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/6/2008 5:18:34 AM | Well, guys seem to give their ph #s out pretty quick on here or want to move to the ph.. I dont give ph # out because im here for friends...and ive had to change my ph # too many times over the years. re non stop calling
You don't give you're number out becuase you're only here "for friends", do you know how foolish that sounds? I have friends and I have their phone numbers...so what gives.
It sounds like you're one of those people who can't handle real life social interactions too well.
You're not here for friends...just "Cyber" Friends
Actually, it's better to give out numbers soon. I had a woman give me her number after 15 mins of conversation in an IM...I was cool with it, and we chatted on the phone, go tto know each other that way...and in fact, it was a whole lot better that way. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/6/2008 5:34:36 AM | ^^^^^^^ If you read my entire post in context..
I said...
I like to get to know peoples characters before , they get personal contact.
especially since reading forums.lol
I will try and clarify..
Ive been on here 5 weeks... The guys who have given me their ph #s even though im listed as friends have done so quickly and seemed more interested than friends...
Id prefer to get to know their character first in a few emails, before I give my ph #
also ... I think Id like to email them a few times or know abit about them than say 3 emails than give my ph # out.
Im still dealing with 1 guy who I gave my ph # too..
Please read my whole post...
I do also have quite a few friends going through some bad stuff recently(im giving my time to them) and find I like to know If someone is just really lonely, I dont really have the time to be on ph for hours.
Glad youve had positive experiences giving your ph # out..
smiles/peace
And ps. .. since I joined this site, Ive discovered forums and have been learning alot of stuff from peoples experiences re dating on here.. I see nothing wrong in taking my time And learning how all this works..
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/6/2008 5:38:37 AM | | Whatever happened to old fashioned dating????? It takes ALOT more time to email and instant message while trying to get to know someone. Plus, They might be involved in more then one conversation and not having complete attention on who ever it is your trying to get to know. I prefer a phone call right away. Dam sure doesnt mean im desperate. Just means I dont want to WASTE my time emailing back and forth with someone i may click with in emails but do not click with at all on the phone. That is time you can never get back. Go ahead and spend hours IMing back and forth if you have the time to waste. I dont and wont waste my precious time that way when i could have already found someone special and be spending THAT time with them. If you too scared to talk on the phone right away then your too scared to be out in the dating world and should close your profile so the rest of us dont have to waste are time on you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/6/2008 5:38:59 AM | | I say it weeds out the window shoppers. Make it real or forget about it! There once was a time when the ol phone # the first objective. Of course intergrity also used to be a common virtue. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/6/2008 5:53:17 AM |
I don't feel like I can read a person very well through emails.... hearing someone on the phone really is faster and doesn't waist tons of time typing. What is your take on this?
^^^^^^Iam with you OP......people are just getting to carried away with the internet now....they are escaping from reality and rather hide behind a computer screen.
I would intially use the emails more frequently if there was a large distance between one another, but even that would be short lived as I would rather talk on the phone.
If the person lived in the same or near suburb to me....i would be prompting to get their number or give mine.....it's pretty lame if you live 20 minutes away from one another and keep emailing......but thats my opinion.
A lot of people are addicted to the internet now. | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/6/2008 5:53:54 AM | I've found that giving out your number helps weed out the "crazies"... If in the first few minutes of telephone conversation you find the person hard to talk to... well it's not going to get any better in person.. might be even more difficult ... I dislike people who shout their opinions over your thoughts.. try to control a conversation with religion, politics.. yada yada.. and if they can't get a laugh out of me on the phone.. don't think the personality will change in the near future...
I'm of the era when giving your number out was no big deal... ! A date for coffee or a drink is a date.. when did it become a life commitment? I have yet to meet someone from online without an exchange of phone numbers.. have you? Even if it is for safety purposes.. get their number..
I have yet had a man say.. Wow she sent me her number to call.. what a (blank) most are relieved that this hurtle is over with!!! Yes I've had a stalker.. it was a pain in the butt for a few days, a price you sometimes have to pay. But in the long run I've talked to many nice guys... some I met and some just were not for me.. and some I've just said thanks for calling we are not meant to be... better than wasting gasoline and the time and effort put into meeting them....
Girlflower | |
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| Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number...
Posted: 2/6/2008 6:01:02 AM |
I've found that giving out your number helps weed out the "crazies"... If in the first few minutes of telephone conversation you find the person hard to talk to... well it's not going to get any better in person.. might be even more difficult ...
^^^^^I agree with you girlflower.....telephones are at least a step towards reality.....phones have been around for decades....why not keep using them and not as a last resort. | |
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