| | Checking Your Cellphone on the DatePage 1 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) | I have been on several dates where my date checks her cellphone several times, answers her phone during dinner, or will read text messages from her friends and text back. To me this is rude, disrespectful and just tacky. The only reason I think anyone should have their cellphone on during a date is if they have children and need to be contacted in an emergency. Also, having someone call you during the date so you can get out of the date is also very tacky. I've never had that happen to me but I have been on many dates where that call comes and my date tells me that was her friend seeing if she needed to get out of the date.
If you are going to go out on a date keep your cellphone silent. Not only is it rude to your date but the people around you where you are at. Even if you are bored or you're not interested you should still respect your date. You don't have to sit there all night. Give your date a few minutes of your attention, and if you're not interested simply say you are not in a polite way. Don't play games. Most people would have more respect for you being honest and upfront that pretending your mother is sick, your dog got hit by a car, your friend got abducted by aliens, just to get out of the date. Rejection sucks no matter what but it's a part of dating. Nobody likes being on either end of it but most of us have dated long enough that we can handle it just fine and move on. | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 10:27:42 AM | | I have small(ish) children that get left at home with a competent sitter... but I still take my phone with me everywhere I go. I have checked the phone while on dates. I don't wear a watch so I do check my phone for the time. I have caller ID and my texts are set to vibrate, my phone to ring (unless in a theater)... I do screen my calls and will only take calls from the kids while on a date. I have voice mail, and I'm not afraid to use it! | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 11:00:59 AM | I rarely accept calls on dates, and I agree that bad cell phone etiquette is really annoying.
Where I part company with you is:
1) The fact that YOU have decided acceptable usage rules and the only times people should take a call or check their texts-in my opinion, says a lot more about you than it does about them. There are way more reasons than just having kids, and it really isn't for you to decide.
2) Your insecure assumption that because they take a phone call or respond to a text or check the time, etc- that you take it personally, as if it's some reflection on you.
I own a business that provides 24/7 technical support. I have to have it on me at all times. Thus far, I don't think I've ever had to take a call during a date. But that doesn't stop me from checking my phone to make sure I didn't miss any texts or calls, or maybe have to respond to a text.
There is a right and a wrong way to do it. Under any circumstances, even if it's just answering a text, I will say something like "I'm sorry, excuse me for just one second here... I have a client calling here... just want to make sure it's nothing important."
If they are just chatting away with friends or sending texts that give you the impression that either lack social graces, or just aren't interested in you-well, that's a different matter, and I agree with you.
It sounds like you had a date where that in fact happened, and you are trying to come up with hard and fast cell phone "rules" for the rest of us to live by. I am sorry if this was the case, but you should probably realize that it has very little do with the phone, and more to do with a bad date. Yes, cell phones can be annoying on dates-I want to say there was one girl I was dating that took more calls than I liked. But not to the extent that I was ready to swear her or the usage of it on a date-off for life. | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 11:09:56 AM | If I'm on a date it means I already like the guy - so that rules out the non-interest thing, unless he REALLY offends me in the course of the night. I also would want to pay attention to him since I like him. Yes, my phone is silent - there are times when I am expecting job calls, and I'll know ahead of time if it's something I have to take, but that's rare.
I make dates, quick meets, dinners and all other meetings part of my schedule. I don't answer phones during business meetings or sit downs with clients either unless its pertaining to the meeting itself, so a date/meet is no different.
On first person to person MEETS, I'm only there to decide if I like the guy in person, so I'm not there long enough to really have to check anything anyway. What could possibly happen in a 15-30 minute time frame? I'll just check my phone when I get back in the car, or after the guy leaves if I want to stay and finish my drink/coffee/whatever. | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 11:26:06 AM | I agree with some of the posts above, OP.
You make some valid points, but, I think that you are reading too deeply into someone's bad judgment. There are many reasons why people may decide to check their cellphone during a date. Appropriate etiquette details that we excuse ourselves, perhaps to the bathroom, and check it in a private area. This, however, is not always possible. I would always excuse myself, and explain my reasoning for checking my phone at the beginning of the date. If something was wrong, and I needed to frequently check it for some reason, it is best to let your date know as early in as possible-just so they don't look at it in the wrong way.
Technological advancements in our society have lead to a increasingly wireless world. A lot of people no longer have land line telephones, they use cellphones. This means that calls from overseas relatives, job opportunities, immediate friends and family, and the like, are all coming to a cell phone. While I agree it should ALWAYS be on vibrate or silent, checking it at regular intervals is perfectly normal. Like a poster above, I don't wear a watch, and use my cellphone for the time.
Texting or having long, drawn out conversations about nothing of consequence in front of a date is unacceptable. | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 12:21:52 PM | Simply ask any prospective date whether she's going to be carrying her cell with her . I don't have one so I tell my lady friend we'll be eating a slice of pizza in a phone booth for the duration of the date because people have to know where I am , every single second. I'm here at the corner of Queensway / Kipling , then later we'll be at the phone booth at Yorkdale bus station for about 30 min having a latte.  | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 12:59:05 PM | Hey redsoxfan....... MAYBE they do that cause your a redsoxfan!!! 
Just kidding!!!...but ya never know!
i myself find that very rude also.... i do keep my phone on me, but on vibrate and i only take the call if it is my son calling..... all others can wait......and if there are messages, i will call or text back if im using the restroom.......i know, thats very attractive too!
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 1:44:06 PM | | I agree with you redsoxfan - it is very rude. Unfortunately a lot of people don't see any problem with it, but it's an easy way to weed the ladies out, no? | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 1:53:02 PM | | Yeah I agree. I think it is interesting how people in general have become so addicted to their phones. I've had to challenge myself too. Since i have a work & personal cell phone, but there is a time and a place to keep it on. I always like to let my date know hey I'm expecting a work call or something else. Usually, I put mine on silent otherwise. | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 1:59:22 PM | | Checking messages 1 or 2 times during a date isn't a big deal to me. However I do think it is rude to be constantly text messaging or having phone conversations during the date. Personally I would keep my cell phone on in case of an emergency. If someone calls me and the call isn't that important, I would tell them that I will call them back later. | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 2:26:57 PM |
I have been on several dates where my date checks her cellphone several times, answers her phone during dinner, or will read text messages from her friends and text back. To me this is rude, disrespectful and just tacky. The only reason I think anyone should have their cellphone on during a date is if they have children and need to be contacted in an emergency.
I've never had anyone be that rude on a date. If they did, it would probably be the last date.
I agree that the cell phone should only be used for emergencies. | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 2:51:04 PM | | If it's a first date, it could be her friends checking to see if she hasn't been butchered to death by an axe murderer. Or whether she needs to bail out on you if you're boring her pants off. | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 3:23:08 PM | Wait until you have a date check a voice mail and text a reply from somebody verifying a date for the next evening while you are cooking her dinner.
Most of the time on dates I have my phone on silent and will check it a couple of times during an evening. The only people important enough to call back right away are my son and my alarm company. Everybody else waits. I also use my phone as my watch. | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 4:04:26 PM | | If I'm still at the 'dating' level, it's completely rude to check it unless they have kids at home. Mom's get special treatment. Sheesh..if it's that important, use the old bathroom trick. Excuse yourself and check it there. | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 4:32:35 PM | I went for dinner with this guy (our first meeting), never imagine two people can be so disconnected. We barely could keep up the conversation going. The worst part is he didnt even try to hide how boring it was; he kept on checking his mobile, even calling his friend. I felt really offended, thinking of doing the same.. but i didn't want to level with him.
At the end when he casually mentioned about our next meeting (out of obvious politeness), I couldnt help but to reply while rolling my eyes.
Perhaps he didnt realise how rude and offensive his phone-actions are. I'd rather he to not bother speaking about next meeting than calling his mate. | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 5:11:26 PM | Yes, I think it is rude to check/text on cell phone WHILE on a date. The only reason that phone should be answered, is if an emergency, kids etc. Each of the parties focus should be on just each other. A cell phone is good to have in case of emergencies, but hey..if it's to have a friend call to see if you need to "get out of the date"? thats' pathetic. BE HONEST WITH YOUR DATE!! if there's no chemistry, JUST SAY SO. As far as I'm concerned, that phone should be on SILENT while you are on a date.
Happy fishing everyone   | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 5:22:32 PM | It's VERY rude.
Also... when talking to someone on the phone and they have another call come in?
And they go take it? Rude.
Gosh, you were talking to me, I was in the middle of saying something too, and you just interupt and leave me hanging while you go take another call?
Like the person can't call back later, or leave message on your machine, or whatever.
It shows lack of respect for me. Or what I was saying wasn't really interesting to you anyway.
(Emergency calls.. understandable) (Someone banging on your door.. understandable)
Call me old fashioned, old school, proper, whatever.... but.....
If you're talking with someone, it's rude to just interupt with a "wait a minute" and put them on hold... unless there is a damn good reason.
That goes for cell phones, call waiting, and any other new fangled stuff that we managed to survive without 20 years ago.
So that's my vote... it's rude.
Now, IF you go on a date... go visit someone... or talk with someone on the phone... and you are EXPECTING an important call (or babysitter situations)... then simply be polite and inform your friend/date/whomever that you are expecting an important call and "please forgive me when it comes in, I'll keep it short".
Let them know ahead of time. Otherwise, concentrate on who you are with!! | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 5:49:03 PM |
I went for dinner with this guy (our first meeting), never imagine two people can be so disconnected. We barely could keep up the conversation going.
I recommend NOT scheduling a dinner date for the first meeting so that you are not stuck spending a miserable evening with someone you have nothing in common with. The old "coffee date" should be your regular "meet and greet" routine.
Good luck.... and remember to turn off those cell phones when you are dating. | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 6:32:35 PM | I TOTALLY AGREE ITS CLASSLESS ,I HATE PHONES PERIOD.I HAVE TEEN KIDS AND I STILL TURN MY PHONE OFF DURING A DATE !!!!!! SOME PEOPLE ARE ATTACHED AT THE HIP LITERALLY TO THERE CELLS!!!! MEN AND WOMEN ITS PATHETIC. | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 7:47:11 PM | While I do agree its rude to allow interruptions of that sort (I've had a date once answer a call from his ex-girlfriend and argue with her while we were in the middle of the date). Needless to say I very quickly ended the date and found my way home. That kind of stuff is rude.
I do tend to check to see who called or messaged to be sure there is no emergency but otherwise I give the guy I'm with my full attention. | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 8:17:06 PM |  OP..after reading YOUR profile,etc. must be some whacked-out bims out there on the West Coast...cannot imagine they even considered bringing a phone along!!!???
Seriously tho...need the phone? (kids,etc) then keep it on vibe, and politely excuse yourself and go to the bathroom and check. ONCE.
It's sooooo unbelievably rude...esp on a "first date"?
It irritates me even when it's another person answering their cell at the dinner table in the same restaurant. Grrrr.
If with me, even worse! (My sons do it to me all the time tho...hehheh!)
Not happened yet on a date...but if it did,I might be tempted to just say my fair-the-wells at that point.... | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 8:36:17 PM | | I agree 100% and then some. I am probably the only person on the planet who does not own a cell phone. I find it extremely rude when a date checks his cell phone or takes calls in the middle of a date. I have also had friends over for movie night at my house, and their cell phones go off in the middle of the movie. They will actually have a conversation right there while we're watching the movie! (And they wonder why they are not invited back). I really dislike being in waiting lines, lobbies, or restaurants having to listen to total strangers' loud and annoying personal cell phone conversations. People, do you really need to be in contact every minute of the day? I was born in the days before cell phones, and we all seemed to survive without them. We had to actually pay attention to the person we were with and focus on the activity at hand. If we needed to call our parents from a friend's house or a restaurant, we used the phone that was there. Imagine that! Sorry, I don't buy into the fact that anyone actually needs to have a cell phone with them and turned on at all times. They are a convenience, but not a necessity of living. | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 8:53:12 PM | I turn off my phone.
I do have young children...they are with their Father or their Grandparents if I am out and I have no need to contact them to see if they are well.
I will check my phone for messages from home and from the children when I go to the ladies room. I don't make multiple trips btw.
Only if there is a message will I return the call.
All other calls are not important. I am no longer on call 24/7, I do not own a business, or trading stocks that I have to keep an eye on in another timezone.
If I am that busy and that important of a person to be checking my phone and taking calls during a date I am sending a message to my date that he is not a priority.
I would be wasting both our time to even go out.
I did call my EX several times a few months ago.. I did not know he was out to dinner with a friend...it was concerning our family dog ...the dog was dying..having a heart attack.. 13 year old dog. I needed to tell him what was going on. In the end I told him I would handle it...and there was no need for him to leave his dinner and come over as the dog would be put down by the time he arrived at the Vets. | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 9:23:54 PM | I think that in general it is certainly rude for a date to check their cell phone while on a date. However, there are also exceptions to that, such as single parents with kids, (real, actual) family emergencies, real emergencies (alarm company, doctor/physician/business owner on call), and important business calls are some that come to mind.
If a family member calls me while I am on a date, I will answer the call as it may be important as my family members usually won't call me on my cell phone unless it is important. My mother had a heart attack and was rushed to the emergency room, and my uncle passed away while I was on dates. If the call is not important, then I will tell them that I will call them back later. However, if a friend calls me while I am on a date, then I just let the call go to voicemail, and I check it later. Likewise if friends are sending me text messages.
Like others, I also use my cell phone as a watch, and I may check it periodically throughout the night to keep an eye on the time, especially if there is a time limit on the date, such as needing to catch a show at a certain time or my date needing to be home by a certain time because of their childcare situation.
Sending text messages or answering calls to have casual conversations with friends while on a date are definitely rude and unacceptable behavior though, unless it is a situation where we are trying to meet up with those friends later in the evening and we are trying to coordinate meeting them somewhere. Otherwise the cell phones should be on silent/vibrate and left alone during the duration of the date. | |
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| Checking Your Cellphone on the Date
Posted: 2/8/2008 9:32:51 PM | | If you are on call, or have sick children at home or someone is dying in the hospital or whatever the case then tell your date BEFORE the date so they will understand your need to keep tabs on who is calling. I don't think anyone would be offended under those circumstances. It's all about communicating with your date. However, if your date seems to be more interested in chatting on the phone or texting back and forth re: things that can wait then I'd take that as an indication that they are more interested in the person on the other end of the cell than they are in you. | |
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