| Who pays for the meal or beverage on the first date?
Posted: 2/10/2008 3:22:43 PM | | Just curious as to who pays for dinner/lunch or the beverage when you first meet the person who you have been talking to online? Him, her or dutch treat? In the real world (at least in mine), the person who initiates the contact usually pays for the meal or beverage. Does this hold true for meeting someone online? For some reason I find this a little awkward. Comments please. | |
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a/c
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Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 3 | |
| Who pays for the meal or beverage on the first date?
Posted: 2/10/2008 6:25:08 PM | | I don't think I could ever let a woman pay, but if she pushes me into letting pay her half, I rather make a deal and let her pay for something else later in the evening to make her happy. | |
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| Who pays for the meal or beverage on the first date?
Posted: 2/10/2008 6:58:40 PM | | I'm a little old fashioned in this area and believe that a man should pay esp. on a first date, BUT there is a BUT eheh, because we are on a dating site and I know and have heard of alot of women trying to get freebies, if you know what I mean. I try to make it just a coffee or something on the first date, so that if he does wanna pay I don't feel so bad. Otherwise I always offer to pay my half. Usually, if he is a gentleman he won't allow that. You can never know though, on his past experiences with that. I wouldn't be too offended if he accepted my half of it. It's life! Too many abusers out there. | |
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| Who pays for the meal or beverage on the first date?
Posted: 2/15/2008 4:39:22 PM |
because we are on a dating site and I know and have heard of alot of women trying to get freebies, if you know what I mean
O yes I know what you mean exactly, specially when you know you not interested why let him pay for you!? Personally I wouldnt mind paying the whole bill if I know there is mutual interest and we gonna see each other again but we DONT! and there is noway to tell...... so thats why its a good idea to go dutch on first or even second date.
I wouldn't be too offended if he accepted my half of it. It's life! Too many abusers out there.
Thats thoughtful of you but not all women think that way. You're right too many abusers out there just for freebies like you said! | |
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| Who pays for the meal or beverage on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2008 6:45:30 PM | | that's pretty much how it is, why spend money only later to hear "I'm sorry but I'm just not interested you in that kinda way" it sucks in that case. and it's happened to me. so should go out on a couple dates, soo how it goes then take it from there. | |
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| Who pays for the meal or beverage on the first date?
Posted: 4/12/2008 6:57:12 PM | Well I come from the south, and they way I learned it is that the man pays.
I know it's 08 but i feel strange letting a woman pay, even after we've dated a while. No it's not a ego thing, it's just my nature. | |
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| Who pays for the meal or beverage on the first date?
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:00:06 AM | When he is courting a lady, I believe a MAN should paying for the dates, whether it is a first date or the umpteenth date; whether it is as simple as taking a walk and buying hotdogs and a drink or dressing up for a dinner and a show. If she feels like doing it, the lady can reciprocate sometimes by perhaps cooking a nice meal for him.
All dates do not have to involve spending a lot of money on. One can always reserve a special date where one can splurge a little more than usual. Otherwise, having picnics and going parks etc. can be just as much fun. The purpose of dating to get to know the other person.
Just my 98 cents | |
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| Who pays for the meal or beverage on the first date?
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:44:43 PM | The time frame I grew up in was the tail end of the man pays for the date, think it was kind of embeded in the gentlemen thing...
Over the years I have settled on one simple thing that has yet to fail...
Always make the attempt, she will let you know how she likes things to work...
I am easy, and go with the flow and communicate. On a first date I am doing one thing gathering information to get to know her better...
If there can be hidden insight read into my actions. How easy I give into her offer to split, her putting the tip down with no protest from me, etc, I have yet to experience it.
In the end when I go on a date...
1) I bring enouph to cover everything and the unexpected.
2) If I don't have enouph to cover the date and the unexpected I would not have gone on the date in the first place.
3) If you offer to split the bill, admission etc I will assume that makes you a comfortable and happy person.
4) If you put the tip down I will assume that makes you a happy and comfortable person and won't protest.
5) If you let me pay without any protest or an attempt to help etc I will assume that makes you a happey person.
In the end who pays means nothing to me, when I go on a date I expect to pay for everything. If she wants to split expenses , put the tip down or just say thank you at the end of the night. I am honestly totaly indifferent to it, it just does not matter to me at all.In my book it all falls into how someone was brought up in society and what makes them comfortable and happy. | |
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tchrkt
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Joined: 7/14/2008
Msg: 14 | |
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| Who pays for the meal or beverage on the first date?
Posted: 10/1/2008 2:30:24 PM | | I met a girl on here who seemed really nice. She suggested meeting so I suggested lunch and that we split the bill. She ditched me on the spot saying talking about splitting the bill was too offputting. Gee thanks!, the thought of not being able to sponge off somebody else must have been too much to handle. | |
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| Who pays for the meal or beverage on the first date?
Posted: 10/31/2008 12:26:24 PM | Heh, I just got told by a woman here on POF that I am not a gentleman because I have on my profile that I think it best that the first date be dutch treat. She said a gentleman ALWAYS pays. She said she was an old-fashioned girl. Hmm..........I wonder if she's a modern girl until the check arrives??
At any rate, now that I know I'm a knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing, savage, chest-beating Neanderthal, someone hand me my club and loincloth and I'll go out hunting women the REALLY old fashioned way. She better have strong hair though! | |
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| Who pays for the meal or beverage on the first date?
Posted: 11/20/2008 6:47:00 PM | | The person who does the asking out for the date should expect to pay. In most cases that ends up being the dude. Learn to seperate online and offline. Once you ask someone on a date it's a date straight up and should be treated as such. I think it's cool when the chick offers to pay her half. I wouldn't let her, but it can show a lot about someone. Likewise, if a girl asks out the guy he should definitely offer to pay his half, if not all of it. Again, it will show a lot about that person. | |
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| Who pays for the meal or beverage on the first date?
Posted: 12/8/2008 10:48:44 AM | dutch,
old days, woman did not work. Today's age, woman have the same opportunities as men; factor in child support and most woman have more money than the men. Dutch is fair, both parties should treat each other equals, it's a mutual respect issue. | |
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| Who pays for the meal or beverage on the first date?
Posted: 1/4/2009 1:31:53 AM | I always offer to help pay, but it's usually declined. Dutch is good, but it's alright if he pays, and I'm not averse to paying either.
Today's age, woman have the same opportunities as men; factor in child support and most woman have more money than the men.
You really need to research your facts a little more. In general, most women DON'T have as much money as men, especially those collecting child support. Maybe that's how it is in your own circumstance, but overall it's not so. | |
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| Who pays for the meal or beverage on the first date?
Posted: 1/4/2009 4:11:39 PM | Hello?? Can we talk about this?
Each person on the date is gonna have their expectations and they may not agree.
I'm happy to pay, happy to do Dutch, happy to let the lady pay if she feels she should.
But if there's any hope for a connection two humans should be able to discuss a meal check.
Red flag if the other person insists on figuring out Dutch to the exact penny. | |
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| Who pays for the meal or beverage on the first date?
Posted: 1/7/2009 4:24:14 AM | Your talking about a first meeting situation in the flesh with no computer in front of you.. Not really a date its a physical meeting. So why don't people simply meet at a nice park or down the beach or a walk through the forest.. They all cost zilch and if there is no connection, then no one loses out.. Coffee is cheap too..
Anyway, what ever happened to the ol wanting to be treated as equal? Shouldn't that mean in every aspect.. Personally I am old fashion and don't mind paying the bill.. But what is so wrong with paying for your own meals on your first physical meeting?
Think about it. If you meet someone in normal day to day life face to face (not on here) then you already have met them in the physical, heard them speak, observed their body language etc.. Chances are you'll catch up again before even going on a formal date, so you already know if there is a connection. When you do go on a date, its because you both are attracted to one another. Also, because you have already met in the physical, chances are one of you will invite the other to their house for a meal or dvd.
It would appear that if someone rejects you because you wanted to go dutch, then they either were not interested in you to begin with or, they are shallow and care more about free dinners and materialistic values..
Lets face it, if you really connect with each other, then who friggin cares who pays the bill or if you go dutch or what ever... I really didn't think it would be that big a deal this day and age.
Its no wonder some people are still single... | |
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| Who pays for the meal or beverage on the first date?
Posted: 1/14/2009 6:24:19 PM | | Great comments. I agree that if it is a first time actual physical in person meeting, it should be kept very simple. Dutch is good but whoever wants to pay for the drinks that is ok too. I don't have a problem paying, but I do have a problem if he doesn't even bother to offer to pay or to pay for at least his own - emphasis on "offer." First time meetings are awkward enough without making it an all out "date." | |
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