| Your last Song Ever - No Really - Ever
Posted: 2/11/2008 6:04:02 PM | Ok my second attempt to get a song thread happening - my other was deleted (how rude) now please before anyone takes offence, this thread is mean to be bit lighted hearted and in my line of work, considered research.
I work as a funeral director and on a average day attend 4-5 funerals.
What mourners mainly remember about the funeral that they have just attended is not only the colour of the flowers (they dont remember the coffin - trust me) - but the very last song that is played at the commital part of the funeral - this is the music played when the deceased physically leaves - either way of being committed to the cremation process or as pallbearers leave the venue with the coffin to be taken for burial.
This is the music that usually evokes the most emotion and hopefully is a true reflection of the person whose life the mourners are remembering/celebrating.
So if you could have your say, what would be your last song be....ever ?
Songs I hope I will NEVER ever hear again at a funeral and so know I will are:
AMAZING GRACE- its a song about a drunk finding redemption written by a drunk - ok maybe appropriate for some
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU - Whitney Houston - enough said
WIND BENEATH MY WINDS - over it
MY HEART WILL GO.... ON AND ON AND ON AND ON - should have gone down with the ship
TIME TO SAY GOODBYE - Sarah Brightman - if you like screeching
TEARS IN HEAVEN-- great great song, love Clapton, but so overplayed
AVE MARIA -not again
MY WAY - Frank Sinatra - you'd be surprised how often this is played at the funeral of a person who has taken things into their own hands
HERO - Maria Carey - enough said already
The list is so long .......and you have no idea how forced my smile is to a family that requests these songs..my response is always a gentle nod of my head and "Thats so lovely, such an appropriate piece" - my head is always tilted on the side when I say this.
Some great songs that I've had played at funerals I've conducted.
Bridge over Troubled Water, Highway to Hell - not kidding, Bad to the Bone - still not kidding, The Long and Winding Road, Yesterday, Knocking on Heavens Door - but of course, Imagine, Always look on the Bright side of life - it was approriate for the person, Time of you life - Greenday, Stairway to Heaven, Wish you were here, Brothers in Arms - Dire Straits, Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen but sung by Jeff Buckley...
Again the list is long..I love funerals where people really do think about the deceases life and try to reflect and portray that with well thought of choices in music and readings. One of the best committal songs I ever played was for a top cop who passed away and according to all who knew him had a brilliant and innate sense of humour and his song was "See ya later Alligator " !! The mourners just loved it...so many smiles and laughter as he left them
May I point out that I shit myself at the time, as I thought we had put the wrong track on !!!
I noticed at Heather Ledgers funeral he had "Wish you were here", Dylan and Powder Fingers - "These Days" -appropriate for the sad and early way he left his family and friends.
So many great songs, so which one is for you ? (and when you work in this industry, we do discuss these things), what sums you up ?
Me its a toss..so many great songs...I swing between "Hallelujah" to "Wish you were here" back to "These Days" too
However at this stage I would settle for Beethovens "Concert No 5" or "When the War is Over" - Cold Chisel...pretty much sums up the stage my life is at, at the mo.
So what would yours be ???
 | |
|
| |
| |
| Your last Song Ever - No Really - Ever
Posted: 2/11/2008 6:48:23 PM | | When my best friend's brother passed away the last song played was The Dance by Garth Brooks... very moving, I'll never forget it. | |
|
| Your last Song Ever - No Really - Ever
Posted: 2/11/2008 7:31:49 PM | The Ashoaken Farewell.... it's a traditional piece wrote about the time of the American Civil War.
Tommy & Phil Emmanuel did a version which was very nice. | |
|
| Your last Song Ever - No Really - Ever
Posted: 2/11/2008 7:46:37 PM | after i'm dead?...i'm not sure that i really care now ...or after i'm dead..
something appropriate to the way i died... if i drowned, six month in a leaky boat.... if it was in a terrorist attack, every breath you take by the police.....
finish off with a good sing a long..i would hate to see my family leave the funeral without a smile on their faces.. | |
|
| Your last Song Ever - No Really - Ever
Posted: 2/11/2008 8:16:27 PM | | its got to be thanks for the memories....fallout boy....and how about the hell song...sum41...and just coz why not...get me outta here!!! ...jet!! and just because what would it be without some blink182...and it seems right....im lost without you!! we might as well turn it into a whole thing of music coz id want minority too...greenday...then there would need to be some rhcp....maybe scar tissue?? seriously though id like those and when my dad passed away we had lots of his favourite songs, including some he used to sing to mum when they were young and courting-it was very special and were glad to send him off with those special memories of good times. | |
|
| Your last Song Ever - No Really - Ever
Posted: 2/11/2008 8:27:28 PM | A very thought provoking thread, I will have to get back to you after I think about it a while. But I do know what you mean about Amazing Grace, they played it my Mum's funreal and I didn't understand why, as my Mum rarley had a drink maybe a little Blackberry nip but that was it.
At my friends funeral they played Rod Stewarts Sailing and that really sumed up his life, mind you he picked the song. The only request he asked for in the note he left behind.
 | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Your last Song Ever - No Really - Ever
Posted: 2/11/2008 9:52:08 PM | Some absolutely beautiful and terrific songs listed here..please bring on more...good to see some modern artists being mentioned. I will listen to these songs and add them to works library.
BTW the Collingwood Football Club Theme Song does not count.. | |
|
Naamah
|
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 13 | |
| Your last Song Ever - No Really - Ever
Posted: 2/11/2008 9:57:10 PM | The funeral for my husband wasn't a funeral in the usual sense of it. (which is apparently becoming increasingly common as people become more comfortable in recognising that heartfelt respect doesn't require traditional ritualisation, nor a sombre (sp?) environment nor suits & ties, but rather comes from within). His best mate and I organised an informal (ended up being all-day) gathering of about 90 loved ones under some trees at a beach near somewhere he used to surf, hung out, put on a BBQ and booze. I guess it was more a wake.
Music was played all day in the absence of any formalised service, paused only when some of us felt ready to give our personal eulogies at various times during the day. The music was the stuff he listened to when he felt mellow. Cat Stevens. Creedence. The Doors. We didn't try and find lyrics that matched feelings, just went with sounds he liked when he was alive. The day felt all for and about who he was and what he liked about life. Thereafter I paid the local council to let me pick a spot to put in a parkbench with a plaque (Forever Sexy, and his name) on the beachfront near where we spent the day saying our goodbyes. When you sit on that bench you look towards somewhere I used to watch him surf.
For me...I don't want a traditional funeral either, but if there was one, I'd like music that is embarrassing, inappropriate and tasteless that would make friends squirm and roll their eyes and remember me for the dag I am. Ricky Martin. Abba. | |
|
| Your last Song Ever - No Really - Ever
Posted: 2/11/2008 10:08:21 PM | Naamah
Thankyou for sharing your story. I wish I worked on funerals like your husbands more often. These funerals are so unique , special and mindblowing and a honour to share with the family of the deceased.
You reminded me of a funeral I once worked....the committal song was "Dancing Queen" (forgot about it) it was terrific, uplifting, suited the decease's life and passing and the mourners bopping along was Im sure exactly what he wanted....a funeral is a celebration of the life of the one we have lost. Funerals are for the living not the dead and if any of this brings comfort to the living, then the funeral has achieved its intend.....
Ricky Martin.. I love it. | |
|
| Your last Song Ever - No Really - Ever
Posted: 2/11/2008 10:19:21 PM | Naamah, I hope my funeral is as beautiful as your husband's. I can't think of too many better ways to be sent off.
For my part, I think I'd get something like "One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Once I caught a fish alive..." put on, or Rolly, Polly fish heads. That'd get most of my closest friends laughing. | |
|
Naamah
|
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 16 | |
| Your last Song Ever - No Really - Ever
Posted: 2/11/2008 10:34:09 PM | ^^^ Yeah Pookie it really was very personal and strangely bonding for those of us there. People bought pics of him, and told stories, and his mate and I arranged a few various things that were to do with stuff my husband had liked or done in life. A very cathartic experience. I think that's why nobody wanted it to end. I had people say to me afterwards that although they had reservations about the whole thing when they were first told what we'd arranged (and a couple of diehards turned up in formal clothes despite being told not to, lol) ..having experienced it, they now wanted something similar when they go. It might do you out of business though Pookie?? The beach gathering wasn't as well as a funeral...it was instead of. We did not involve any funeral directors in the day at all. The cremation was done obviously, but with nobody attending prior.
Oh, and possibly stick to the usual music for a while longer. Possibly the broader view of what constitutes "respectful" funeral music hasn't quite reached the Ricky Martin point yet. But you can do mine if you want.  | |
|
| |
| Your last Song Ever - No Really - Ever
Posted: 2/11/2008 10:54:01 PM | Hi Naamah
Its cool if funeral diretors become redundant...I think funerals like you had for your husband are fantastic. I wish more families put time and effort into saying farewell to their loved one in an entirely appropriate ways..celebrating their lives. I t sounds like this is exactly what you did and one assumes your husband would have loved it.
However funeral directors will always be required because most people cannot deal with the reality of death and of course most of the time they are in shock so our job is to guide them thru this detailed process in the way they see fit. Sadly most people (like your friends turning up in formal clothes) - out of respect do not like to break with tradition and tradition is what will keep funeral directors in business.
I thought it was fantastic that some friends and family of Heath Ledger dived into the surf at the end of his funeral day to cleanse, refresh and reflect. What a way to say goodbye, in the ocean we are told he loved, at sunset. What a fabulous memory and how carthatic..
There are no rite or wrongs for funerals - (except if you play Celine Dion) it is what is rite for you
Im assembling and using these suggested songs posted here courtesy of Limewire...some great songs, ....please people post more....thankyou | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Your last Song Ever - No Really - Ever
Posted: 2/12/2008 12:02:32 AM | | My mum has actually said in all seriousness that she wants "I did it my way" played as her last song. Which is fine till she pointed out she wanted the Johnny Rotten version. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
Home
login 
