| | Getting looks but no emailsPage 1 of 2 (1, 2) | | I have thought my profle was pretty good, But I am not attracting my type of woman so I am hoping to get someone to tell me what is wrong with my profile and tell me if I am a possible boyfriend/husband material or am I a settle? Am I am man that a woman would see as a settle, just based on my profile. | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 2/13/2008 1:36:17 PM | | hey James, my first suggestion is to find a pic of yourself smiling, you look a little to serious, this is the same problem that I am having with my pics, and a little more positive opening statement on the "about me" section might help. Try to stay upbeat and personable, even though the lack of responses may make you pessimistic. Good luck Buddy! | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 2/28/2008 3:32:51 PM | | ok I changed it. Thank you very much for your opinion. It might not be perfct but I keep trying to add to it when I think of something else. | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 2/28/2008 3:40:24 PM | Girls don't message guys unless they’re the kind of girls you don't want to meet, my suggestion is get in the forums, communicate with people in there make comments have opinions and before you know it you'll be chatting to girls behind the scenes.
I hope you find the love your lookin for  | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 2/28/2008 3:49:06 PM | Girls don't message guys unless they’re the kind of girls you don't want to meet, my suggestion is get in the forums, communicate with people in there make comments have opinions and before you know it you'll be chatting to girls behind the scenes.
very good suggestion. | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 2/28/2008 6:25:16 PM | | that is a really good suggestion, and it is also what I have been doing. I think that I am somewhat intelligent about somethings so I guess I will just keep posting and hope what I have to say will be interesting enough. As far as women that would email me not being the kind that I would want to meet? Women could probably say the same thing about some of the men on here. I have just become frustrated with having my emails deleted with no response and sometimes not even being read. I put thought and heart into what I email so I have taken the advice given and made some humor on my profile. But I will save myself from the rejection and refrain from emailing anyone. | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 3/2/2008 9:20:44 AM | "Girls don't message guys unless they’re the kind of girls you don't want to meet"
That is unfair! I am fairly new to this site and the whole on-line dating scene. I am not on here looking for a one night stand and am definitely not "the kind of girl you don't want to meet". I have sent out a few messages. I'm sorry but I don't live in an age where the woman has to sit against the wall and wait for the guy to ask her to dance. If I see some thing that interest me then I will get out there and ask that person to dance.
If you are the guy that deletes a message because it was initiated by the female then I feel sorry for you. | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 3/2/2008 12:01:33 PM | | I agree with atravel. I message guys, and they never seem to have a problem with that. | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 3/4/2008 1:27:29 AM | | and I totally agree with both of you. A woman should be emailing guys that they find interesting. I see nothing wrong with that. If more women took the time to pick the man that they want to meet the world would be a nicer place to live in. We are supposed to be evolved and yet there are some men that think men should still act like they are back in the 50's. Well all women have a right to choose the man they want to be with. | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 3/4/2008 8:12:44 AM | Usually I don't read really long profiles. Second, its obvious that you are a humorous guy, but I think your profile is so full of one-liners, and jokes,that I don't think women get a sense that you are at all serious about your search, or what lies beneath. It's great to show your fun side, but is that all there is? That's my 2 cents. Happy fishin  | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 3/4/2008 8:29:16 AM | and I totally agree with both of you. A woman should be emailing guys that they find interesting. I see nothing wrong with that. If more women took the time to pick the man that they want to meet the world would be a nicer place to live in. We are supposed to be evolved and yet there are some men that think men should still act like they are back in the 50's. Well all women have a right to choose the man they want to be with.
they just dont have to dude.the availability of guys who they know are already interested makes it unnecassary. | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 5/13/2008 1:37:33 AM | So I should just live with being alone? Should I just believe that there is not one woman looking for a man like me? Or is it the fact that there are so many men in the world that all the single women have 2 to 3 guys just waiting to date them? I fail to believe that becasue if it was true then there would not be so many women on p o f asking where is he, or are you out there? or hurry up and find me.
just changed my profile again, would like some input if I need to do some adjusting. | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:19:19 AM | Ok James, this profile is a mess. It reeks of negativity! This is what you need to do. DELETE items 1 -8 then think of two POSITIVE personality traits that you have. Do the same for the lady you seek. NO MORE NEGATIVE GARBAGE!
1. "Ok so I need to start over. I am divorced. Not my fault. She just thought she could find someone better. DELETE
2. "No custody battles, no sharing, no ex around to bother me. I am a little intimidated by women due to something that happened in my past but after we have talked I will be comfortable. What would you like to know now? DELETE
3. Don't tell them your smart, SHOW you are smart.
4 "DISLIKES: Lying, Scams, cheaters, abusers, alcoholics, mean people, rudeness, horror movies, being single, all men that think they can do anything they ever want." DELETE
5. "Now I am seeking a nice intelligent woman that could stand to be around me for longer then 4 hours. just kidding. DELETE
6.that was no lie, that was no lie, DELETE
7."I will tell you I am overweight and I keep trying to loose the weight but then it all comes back on plus more. Maybe you can help me reach my weight loss goals? DELETE
8. "I will answer all emails I receive but I will no longer make the first contact. I hate being rejected and making first contact but getting no read, no profile viewed, and just deleted makes me think that those woman are not on here looking for a good man. I consider myself a very good man and if you want to get to know me I am ready.
I know that just because you view my profile that does not neccisarily mean you want me to contact you so you will have to speak first, at least initially. DELETE | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:37:09 AM | | * Look, James! * Just Believe In Yourself !! .. Don't ask people what to do? ' Hurry up and find you ' .. You say? ... Where's your Strength, Your Confidence? * You, Only You, ' know what you are inside ' ! .." Do not be Weak or act Weak! " .. Women DO NOT like ' Weak Men! ' .. Least I don't! ..But Not All women take the time to get to know a person, like I would ~ .. For Example, " You might not be Weak, just ' Shy ' " ..Not ALL women have the intelligence to see that! And, Not All women take the time to see the " Real Person " , who You Are Inside! * First Impresions can make or break us! Unfortunately! * Be the person You Are Inside! And, somehow You have got to find a way to ' Let It Shine '! God Bless You, Good Luck to You..May Your Life Be Filled With Happiness & Love, Always ! (Barbara) | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 5/13/2008 6:00:09 AM | Well, James, I'ver read your profile again ~ ..And, in addition to ' You being shy, I think You have been hurt, deeply! ..And You Must Go On! , And You Must Stop Telling Everyone About It! ..That happens to Most All of Us!..I say, ' Most ' , doesn't happen to everyone, Thank God! ..But Others are ' fighting their own battles ' , just like ' You ' ..Different Battles, Different Ways, Different Days ~..But Each of Us Have a Heart, a Heart That Can Feel, That Can Love, That Can Accept or Reject, That Can Be Broken, That Can Mend! ..YOU must work on the mending part! NO ONE can do that for You! Simply because someone hurt you, does not always mean it was You who had the problem! Think, Act & Do positive things! Do not allow yourself to drown in all that negativity! ..Learn to Love Yourself! * Do you totally want to destroy yourself for You or Your Children, over someone else's inadequacy? ..I could write a book on this, and " I " could probably bring You out of this, ( as Your Friend) ..but you know? ..It would not be lasting, it would only be an observation to you, you would not heal! And, you'd slip back, the minute ' Someone Else ' isn't in Your Life to ' Make You Happy ' ! .. Happiness is NOT in Another Person - It is Within Yourself! * There's no way, No One can teach You that, You must reach ' way down deep ' inside of the person You are, get ' True Grit ' ..Pray, Believe in The Lord that Made You! ..God made No Trash or Garbage, Nor Anyone Unworthy! ..You are Doing That To Yourself! .. ' I'm sure, Before your Heart was wilted, ' You Were Strong as Steel ' ... ' Now Go Take On The Day! ' Sending an  to Guide You ~ (Barbara) | |
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niama
| | Joined: 8/28/2007
Msg: 17 | |
| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 5/13/2008 6:29:31 AM | Hi,
I've checked your profile and though 'to the point' as 'to the point' can be is slightly negative. The reason I checked the profile it is because I thought the thread interesting. I personally don't see anything wrong with the general context of your profile, but if I may say something, if two people marry and end up being divorced, both parties are to be blamed for the divorce. I don't know the circumstances of your divorce and I don't want you to share it with me, but for me in my opinion if a relationship doesn't work out and since 2 people make up a relationship, I feel both should share the blame. Don't take this too personally though. This is just my opinion. It could be too that as you've said she might have wanted out and felt she could find better elsewhere.
Another thing you must understand and I have experienced this too, not everyone who looks at your profile will respond to you. So get over it. For some reason or the other some people, although they say their looking for a 'longterm' relationship or looking to 'settle down' they're not really looking to do so. Because some people are afraid of anything that seems to serious or real and run in the other direction. So bearing this in mind this can be another reason women who look at your profile do not respond among other things.
You have to realize too that not everyone wants to date a divorcee or a guy who has kids and although this might sound 'crude' or 'painful' but not every woman is open to dating an overweight guy. You've mentioned too that you are afraid of rejection. At 45 years old one can assume that you were rejected some time or the other in your lifetime, whether personally or professionally. You cannot be afraid of something 'rejection' that is a part of life. Everyone is rejected at some point in time in his or her life so why should you be any exception? Instead of dwelling on rejection as something 'negative' and moping about it turn it into something 'positive' and decide that you're not going to let a person who does not know you or has never given themselves a chance to know you get you down. These are just some factors to consider on why some women view your profile and do not respond. With this said you shouldn't be discouraged. And no you're not a man that would be seen as a settle. Be confident and know that there is someone out there for you. | |
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niama
| | Joined: 8/28/2007
Msg: 18 | |
| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 5/13/2008 7:02:59 AM | Hi James,
I've just read your responses from some other contributors and your saying, 'if you should just live with being alone.' There is nothing wrong with a person living alone 'mind you' but if a person chooses to live with someone like you do, you have to make 360 degree turn to improve your way of thinking. I am sorry I am forced to agree with the cowboy here this sentence reeks 100% negativity. And if you want a woman to be interested in you it is quite possible that you have to make the initial first response. I'm sorry to tell you this but it is just the way it is sometimes.
Be positive and know that not everyone who looks at your profile will respond. Let us put it this way some of us prefer beef over fish and some of us neither or some of us just vegetables. You have your personal preferences too so why are you so 'hung up' on whether you get a response or non response from a woman or not? Shouldn't they too have their personal preferences?
Clean up your profile. Stop thinking negatively. And understand the reasons I have mentioned in my previous post why some women might or might not respond to you. | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 5/13/2008 8:43:15 PM | | thank you for the great input. I have changed it to as positive a statement I can think of. | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 5/13/2008 8:49:12 PM | Two sentences? This is your idea of a revised profile?
You won't get results if you don't put in the work. That includes posting a selection of *flattering* pics of yourself. But jeez, if you're not even going to *TRY,* you might as well delete it and just sit all day in a darkened room, brooding.
Sorry, other posters. Your well-thought-out ideas and opinions were as useful here as if you bundled them up and threw them down a dark well. | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 5/13/2008 9:06:28 PM | Your lists of interests are maxed out and that fine, but the "about me" section is as bare as ol mother hubbards cupboard. Me thinks you could pump up the volume on that somehow.
More pics as well. And if your going to go the shower curtain route at least have a large knife in hand [/bates motel pic discussion]......j/k | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 5/13/2008 10:29:32 PM | Yeah, the whole Bates motel motif going on is disturbing. Try to get some pics taken outdoors. Your expression is not very welcoming either.
I 'm assuming that your username is also your regular private email address. Be prepared for all kind of spam to your email box. There are bots that pick up email address on dating sites. All they have to do is add a hotmail or a yahoo to it and they
can spam you day and night.
I am not attracting my type of woman
Perhaps that would be because you havn't told us who she is yer. Add a whole paragraph all about her. Describe her in detail. That way they will know if they fit your requirements or not. If you don't tell them, they will just click on past.
Just curious, what "type" of woman are you attracting? | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 5/13/2008 10:40:01 PM | | If I see another butchered attempt at an ellipsis I'm going to go postal on the emoticons; I swear to christoph... | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:13:48 AM |
I'm assuming that your username is also your regular private email address.
no my id is not my email address but thank you for your concern. Sorry about the bathroom curtain pic, but that was the only room in my house that my camera would work. but I deleted it. As far as who I am looking for? I dont know that yet as I have not met her. All the advice is great but sometimes everyone contradicts everyone else. I will stick with the one sentence because no matter what i put on there it will be viewed as either negative, or uninformative, or something else that is not appealing to anyone. All I really have to say is I know who I am so it should not be up to me to tell someone. I should be viewed as a capable person. | |
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| Getting looks but no emails
Posted: 5/18/2008 7:07:58 AM | | yeah i do think yout opeing pic could be changed you look a little grumpy but otherwise everything seems okay. don't worry about it tho...alot of people tend to look without mailing. | |
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