| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 2/15/2008 6:59:57 AM | Tender romantic slow love making doesn't do it for me.
How would you guys like to be told that although your technique is pleasant, it isn't something I will be thinking about the next day.
And if a woman's "thing" is a tad over the line as to what the lover has been used to, how does a woman not scare the hell out of him? | |
|
| |
| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 2/15/2008 7:20:08 AM | | How about, "that was very nice but I'd really prefer .......... if you think you can handle it." Lay down the gauntlet, propose the challenge and see if he's up to the task of pleasing you the way you'd like to be pleased! If he says, I could never do that! Then you may have to look for someone else. | |
|
| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 2/15/2008 7:20:37 AM | Reminds me of a Sam Kinison joke.
Paraphrased for less profanity...
"You can make love WRONG to a girl for 5 years and she will NOT tell you, SHE WILL TELL EVERYONE ELSE !!!!"
Tell him what you want, he might be game, you might freak him out, if its a big deal find a guy that is more adventurous there are gazillions of single guys out here, chances are one of us will even push your boundaries. | |
|
| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 2/15/2008 7:33:54 AM |
And if a woman's "thing" is a tad over the line as to what the lover has been used to, how does a woman not scare the hell out of him
He'll either be into it or he won't, so I would just go along with the other posters and say just tell him- however, it also depends on how new of a lover he is- I don't immediately try to fulfill every sexual fantasy I have with my partner in the first month. If the relationship is really new, you could always take it slow and build to whatever it is you really like.
What you are talking about is not uncommon-which is the idea of making love for your partner, in doing something that may not do much for you personally, but is something they really like. So conceptually, what you're asking for is not that big of a deal. Most people realize that this is how it goes, and will accommodate one another. | |
|
| |
| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 2/15/2008 7:45:58 AM | As the moment arises tel him.... open honest if it is not for him better to know now then settle and wonder about more later. don't want this to sound to blunt or provocative lol
you could always say I wanted to try this ...... or read this and thought perhaps......
Do it here..........
have this done to me.......
Have you ever thought about........
Some thing that lets him know what you want desire need without hurting his ego lol
don't say I liked it when the last guy did... for some that might create jealousy
Little to the left harder bite me there more pressure lick me lower higher if he does not respond well there is your answer as to what the future holds.. | |
|
| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 2/15/2008 8:42:24 AM | If your new lover really wants to pleasure you, during foreplay, he will ask what things please you the most...
If he doesn't, ask him and the conversation should lead to him asking you... | |
|
| |
| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:15:15 AM |
Little to the left harder bite me there more pressure lick me lower higher if he does not respond well there is your answer as to what the future holds..
A little lower or higher would be easy. I am talking about what some people would consider a kink. Like, dear, you don't do it for me because the only way to do it TO me is like this....... I can't even imagine his reaction.
Is it okay to email something like this? | |
|
| |
| |
| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:54:48 AM | Just get into a sex talk and start off slow and progress to whatever you want.
Also you can print out a fun sex checklist of things you would like to try and have a fun little game of it.
you can find a few of these pretty easy if you just google BDSM checklist or you can make your own. | |
|
| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:56:04 AM | I don't think it's always good to just sit him down and say 'honey...listen...about that romantic lovemaking you've been doing'.
You can get your point across when either of you are talking on the phone in the middle of the day about everyday things, and you just let him know you're getting 'the hots'....and drop it on him that you are so hot right now you want it in the most animalistic way possible...... He'll probably get pretty worked up during the rest of the day....when he gets there....tear his clothes off, and start making the "PLEAS".....He should get the hint pretty easily. For all you know, he's probably been wanting to just 'fcuk you like an animal'.....
- You could always actually PLAY 'Closer' by Nine Inch Nails to set the mood......
- Get some porn that shows the way YOU like it......and then the two of you watch it together.......SHOW him the scenes you specifically like.... He should follow suit...... | |
|
| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 2/15/2008 10:02:44 AM | | Discuss make believe dates from the first hello to the grand climax, as if you were writing stories for romance novels. Let her describe what the man's actions should be and let him describe what the woman's actions should be, step by step in detail. You will be telling what you want the other to do without ever referring directly to yourself. For instance, if the first thing she has the guy do is to fling the girl on the bed and rip off her clothes, you know you've got a babe that doesn't want the guy to beat around the bush, so to speak, or if the first thing he has the girl to do is to remark on whether the color scheme of the guy's clothes is too severe, you know he's gay. | |
|
| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 2/15/2008 10:03:26 AM | | Just bring up the topic of sex with him. Don't say the "it was nice but.." stuff or it will get the conversation off to the wrong tone of you have been doing it wrong stupid here is how to do it right. Bring it up as more of disclosure of what really makes your eyes roll. Ask him to share his too. Hell you could be missing the mark too. But keep it non accusatory and on topic of what really gets going not so much you have been doing it wrong. That will just get the male ego bruised and he will shut you off anyway. | |
|
| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 2/15/2008 10:16:16 AM | In the heat of passion, roll over and point your ass at him and say "Fvck me like a man". Seriously, if you don't ask, you won't get.
Then again, you could always roll him over onto his back and lay a pounding on him. | |
|
| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 2/15/2008 10:30:28 AM | Ok...
Let me get this straight. You aren't being pleased by the man in your life because its not the style you prefer. You want to tell him "his" style isn't suitable for maximum enjoyment for you. And you're worried about scaring the hell out of him... Is this the gist?
I read your profile, well, the 1st part. Says you're a writer. Write an erotic story with you as the main character and him as the secondary character. Tell him its a fantasy. Gauge his reaction. THEN ask him if he would like to play it out. If he turns up his nose, you know he's not the guy for you. If, on other hand, he is immediately stimulated by the thought...
You just never know... | |
|
| |
| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 2/15/2008 10:39:16 AM | Reminds me of this guy I met couple of years ago. We talked online a bit, on the phone a bit, generally discussed likes/dislikes, needs, wants, etc... and when we met for lunch one day things got laid out on the table in clear English. The poor guy was adament that there was no way on this green Earth that he could EVER do ANY of the things I needed. Not a chance. Never. Those things either freaked him out or outright turned him off and he wasn't willing to entertain the thought of doing them for my pleasure. Which is fine... at least I knew upfront, right? Can you say VANILLA?!?!?????
I have a hard time verbalizing while with someone what I need or want. I can do it online no problem. I can *sometimes* do it on the phone. I can show you. Just can't say it. Maybe I need to invest in a blindfold... | |
|
| |
| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 2/15/2008 10:53:18 AM | | Shouldn't have to tell a good lover will ask, what do you like. Ones response to certain stimuli is self explanatory. Let's not make this harder than it is people communicate, communicate , communicate . | |
|
9 to 9
|
Joined: 12/12/2007
Msg: 23 | |
| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 2/15/2008 10:57:35 AM | Well you could try being less "freaky" about what you like. Or you can find a new lover of equal "freakdom" you know one who knows how to use the gadgets and whatnot, and scream "Oii! Popiii!!!" instead of that having to be your thang during orgasm on a suspension rig designed to work with back piercings. Ideal for a lil "tool time" pick me up. ;)
You know, a man who doesn't mind BDSM from a leathered midget imported fro a long dead Austrailian aborigional tribe, while you pleasure yourself via his misery, with a power stapler or vibrating Jesus that spits gooey substances. ;)
There's just some people who just need that lil' extra. For some being pleasered with feathers just isn't enough without KY, bubblewrap, and a severed bug eyed chicken head, along with a man dressed like Homer Simpson getting it from a strapon sized for Godzilla.
Its ok! Just,understand that not everyone is that "freaky".
There are plenty of fish, and the world wide web to promote world wide deviancy.
So either you can ease a person into what you like, or you can find a person whom easily will do what you crave already. And on the bright side, if everyone is a "deviant" or "freaky" then that is the norm. So of course, people will find new ways to be oppressive. ;)
Happy hunting! Go ye therefore and find thy fellow "freaks" and convert the wholesome! LOL!
Seriously though, just tell him how you like it and show him how. If he walks, he walks.
9 to 9 | |
|
| |
| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 2/15/2008 11:24:40 AM | Or you can find a new lover of equal "freakdom" you know one who knows how to use the gadgets and whatnot, and scream "Oii! Popiii!!!" instead of that having to be your thang during orgasm on a suspension rig designed to work with back piercings. Ideal for a lil "tool time" pick me up. ;)
You know, a man who doesn't mind BDSM from a leathered midget imported fro a long dead Austrailian aborigional tribe, while you pleasure yourself via his misery, with a power stapler or vibrating Jesus that spits gooey substances. ;)
There's just some people who just need that lil' extra. For some being pleasered with feathers just isn't enough without KY, bubblewrap, and a severed bug eyed chicken head, along with a man dressed like Homer Simpson getting it from a strapon sized for Godzilla.
I think I just fell in love again.
(not really) | |
|
Home
login 
