| Ending Relationship
Posted: 2/15/2008 7:49:06 AM | | I know there has been postings about disabilities but I do have a question..Would you or have you ended a relationship because of a disability whether it be yours or your partners?The reason I ask is because my partner just ended our relationship and stated it was because my disability(bad back from surgery) effected when we could or couldn't have sex.He knew all about it before we started anything serious as I was always upfront about it..It never seemed to be an issue or least he said it wasn't.Not looking for sympathy just was curious if anyone else has gone through this. | |
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| Ending Relationship
Posted: 2/15/2008 8:06:11 AM | Pangel:
Sorry to hear about that, and hope you will be able to deal fine with it 
I dated someone with a quite visible physical disability, and it never bothered me at all, I didn't even see him in that way. What killed our relationship in the end, was that he was an emotional cripple, not a physical one.
I also know someone who was in your exact situation, a few years back, and I knew both parties well. The girl in question, who was the one that ended it, admitted later that using the disability as an excuse was only partly true, but she used it as the only reason ,when breaking it off. Why? Because she knew that due to his vulnerability on the subject, it would be final that way, severing all ties.
Not very nice, and also no longer my friend... | |
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| Ending Relationship
Posted: 2/15/2008 8:07:25 AM | | I haven't gone through it OP, but I would imagine that it is difficult to know exactly what will make for a good relationship when you first start to get to know a person. It's only later when you realise that the relationship is not working for you (for whatever reason) that you sometimes have to make a tough decision. I'm sorry for your situation, but we all make errors in what can make us happy sometimes, and it's better that he was honest with you rather than just dissapearing and saying nothing. | |
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| Ending Relationship
Posted: 2/15/2008 8:18:43 AM | | Very sorry you have had to deal with that! It's a shame he could not deal with this situation. I think that people are either wired to deal with disabilities or they are not and unfortunately it's the demise of many relationships. | |
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| Ending Relationship
Posted: 2/15/2008 5:03:25 PM | I have never gone through this situation as I've never been disabled, unless you count the occasional broken bone, or 20..
I wouldn't feel bad about it though, as he was at least honest. Im sure in the begining he thought he could deal with it, but found out he couldn't. I have dealt with that type of issue before.. I work A LOT, Ive dated those that have said it isn't an issue ,but later it becomes an issue, as they see it as me not wanting to be with them. That wasn't the case at all, I just needed to work long hours.
Maybe "workaholism" is a disability? .. I didn't spite them for it, they tried but couldn't do it.
Im sure you will find someone that will accept you "for better or worse".. | |
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