| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/15/2008 4:01:35 PM | my sister who is 31, has had 4 long term relationships beginning at 16....her last 2 ended after marriage proposals....lol....ironic eh?
anyways, the 2 men both waited MONTHS for my sister to accept a date. she wasn't rude in any way, she simply just had no desire to date at those times...my sister was a well known bartender at a popular irish pub....very independant woman, head strong, not a "slut" lol...
both men kept asking her for about 6 months, with the non chalant rejections...then both relationships lasted about 4 years each...
now she has been seeing someone for the past 5 months (who again, she had said no too for a couple of months) BUT!! she said shes truly in love and can see herself marrying this guy. she TOTALLY opposes marriage.
my question is this:
have any of you fellow men on pof here, kept it going until you finally got a yes? and not in the stalker way....if so, what is it that makes you keep persisting?
i think its kind of romantic, if its gone about the right way.  | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/15/2008 4:14:21 PM | | Nope.. if she said No the first time I won't ask again.. I was persistent for this one girl, I asked her out 3 times in 2 years.. After being rejected all 3 times, I no longer bothered. If she said no the 1st time, she's not going to say yes. If she did, I start wondering why she rejected me the 1st time and think if she's settling for me (which I will not have a part of). | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/15/2008 4:51:46 PM | Hmmm...
When I was in a dating frame of mind, if I didn't get a "yes", or got a non-commital answer the first time I asked, I would consider asking the person again. Time has hardened me somewhat however. These days, (if I was dating) and I got a "no", I would probably not ask again. It's been my experience that if a woman has any interest in you at all, she will either say "yes" to a date or leave the door wide open for another opportunity. Otherwise, I would just assume that I'm not what she's looking for, and move on...
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/15/2008 5:06:45 PM | Why would I want to do that? If a woman says no I would want her to mean no and I move on to someone else. If she is playing games and really doesn't mean what she says then I really don't want to be with that person anyway. If she has a habit of saying No when she means yes there there is an integrity issue and I don't want to be around her.
Maybe I am different than most guys but I care not to make my life that difficult especially since there are so many other fish in the sea.  | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/15/2008 5:31:28 PM | both men kept asking her for about 6 months, with the non chalant rejections...
^^^^^^^nope....sorry OP, I can't see anything remotely romantic in asking someone for six months and getting rejected....anyway i could not do that:
1. It feels a bit stalkerish to me.
2. I could not be that annoying.
3. I would be to interested in getting a life than putting up with that BS..
.......JMO | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/15/2008 6:42:58 PM | forum freak notes
the 2 men both waited MONTHS for my sister to accept a date. she wasn't rude in any way, she simply just had no desire to date at those times...my sister was a well known bartender at a popular irish pub....both men kept asking her for about 6 months....
Well there ya go. I was wondering how a man could ask a woman out and be rejected for six months straight, until I realized that she was between them and their beer. | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/15/2008 6:49:25 PM | its not like the guys would be all like, "i like you, we should have dinner sometime" i mean she was a bartender, they get hit on all the time, no?.....i mean over a period of time where the guys would suggest a drink...like "when are we gonna grab a drink (name)?" casual invitations.
i've seen it happen to a few women i know...friends who tease the girls about goin on a casual date. the girl avoids an actual answer...actually i was like that on here when i first joined. not cuz i wasn't interested, i just wasn't ready. but i kept the contact and chatting going. then i agreed and had a blasty blast.
well thanks for the opinions anyways.... | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/15/2008 8:27:23 PM | Sorry, only one chance per customer. I will never be your fall-back guy - I've got enough silver medals stashed away from when I was young and naive.
It's still amusing when they try, though, with the whole "You liked me, once..." schtick. Funny how being dismissed offhand will change one's opinion, eh? | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/15/2008 8:34:55 PM | do you live in a small town where the pickings are slim? asking over 6 months is just being desperate or having no other choices to pick from.
hitting on a bar tender is a sign of low IQ anyways. any man who is able to tie his own shoes should know thats a rejection waiting to happen. at the very least ask them out when they arent working. | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/15/2008 8:49:36 PM | | OP, I think that your sister has some problems which is why she attracts men who also have problems. To normal human beings, "no" means only one thing -- "no". It doesn't mean "badger me until no becomes yes". | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:01:00 PM | sure, it's kind of romantic.
many-many years ago I have done that...I had the typical silly situation: I was intereste in a girl an I was trying hard....another girl was interested in me and she was trying...
so kind of everybody were attracte to another that weren't attracted to them....
none of these attempts for relationships worked out neither for me nor for other people I know.
I don't regret it however. If you try hard an you don't succeed -it's still much better than knowing you could have tried and never know what would have happenned if you tried.... | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:04:22 PM | | First are you like your sister???, cause as you can read ,most men that have been slighted have no patience for a no ..in some case they have been turned down by a female and when they get rejected or turned down, basically give up..I have only been on here 5 months, and when I don't get a response I may try again if a profile peaks my interest..In most cases, like the other guys, if I see deleted or no response I read between the lines and stay away..but my theory is the worst thing that can happen if I try and make contact the second time , is that she says no or doesn't answer and then I will have a proof positive tht she is not interest............. | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:10:43 PM | see that many categorically said no - and provided some logical reasoning.
it's true, but humans when they are natural, aren't 100% logical creatures.
you can turn yourself to be, but kind of completely override your natural "animal insticts"
in animal kingdom, the male tries hard and persistent and several times - even fight -for the female. it's the natural way.
in culture, you make some "social rules".
we are all a mix of animal instict an cultured/learned intelligent behaviour,
I don't think it's good to completely press down to zero your "animal part".
perhaps best is to seek a good balance between extremes. so not overdoing the persistance, but also to be more natural than the "politically correct".
nice thougth-generating thread | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/15/2008 11:22:11 PM | | There's no shortage of women in the world... I don't want to waste my time on someone who's not interested, nor do I want to "win them over" because I'll always feel that she's with me not because she likes me, but because she tired of me badgering her with date requests. If a girl were to ask me out, I'd say yes or no, and hope that she says yes. If not, I'd hope she moves on. Any girl that I ask out, I hope she takes the same approach. | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/15/2008 11:31:03 PM | | I actually take no as no. I don't like being passed over then come back to and I'm not going to put myself in that position. If someone doesn't want to talk to me, that's fine, they chose to tell me in some way to move on. Constant rejection is a no no. Plus it's kinda creepy. | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/15/2008 11:41:03 PM | | Maybe if I found myself in that situation, where I had a favourite barstool in a certain pub, I could apply this prolongued method wooing of which you speak. But 6 months of rejections? I couldn't bare to even visit that establishment while she worked there after, say, the first 3 months of knock backs? This is a classic example of women needing to be lusted after to feed their ego. It's not romantic, it's pathetic. | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/16/2008 2:27:28 AM | | Polite persistence is fine. Just keep the expectations in check. Nothing wrong with being friends. I would go date someone else and just work it as a friendship | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/16/2008 2:38:01 AM | | well i have read a lot of comments on this, and im sorry, but i have seen this happen a lot also. ive had many friends just not sure, for one reason or another, they also have never been rude or flipant to the guys interested in them. but the guy that is really interested in the girl, as a person, not as what they can get from them, steps up to the plate and stands out from the rest in a special way. isnt this the way it is in the movies????? yep it is. | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/16/2008 8:04:01 AM | i wouldn't think theres anything wrong with her...she was bartending to go thru university....10 yrs of schooling with honours and all that crap. if anything i think she was saying no b/c of the fact that they were customers. everyone knows the whole "don't pick up a date in a bar" thing...but i guess once she actually started getting to know these men, she came around and figured what the hell? lol...
and the only way im like my sister is my wacky sense of humour. =) | |
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| being politely persistant towards a girl...
Posted: 2/16/2008 9:00:50 AM | Well, now we know! Reading the posts, most guys only give us one chance. Actually, the first time, guys seldom ask for aspecific date anymore. To avoid a rejection, they may ask, "Do you have plans for this weekend?" Depending on your answer, they may ask your out.
Also, they may take a risk and ask, "Do you want to go out sometime?" If you say "No" they don't ask again. In college a guy will say, "Several of us are going to...(whatever) after class, would you like to join us?" | |
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