| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/15/2008 4:51:23 PM | | well i was thinking about this the other day and you see a lot of comments about fake profiles and also people meeting people and them not looking anything like the picture on their profile. But if a person created a fake persona then got to know a guy/girl over the internet then met the person , would the fact that the guy/girl had got to know the real personality not just looks matter then , (kind of like in the movie shallow hal), or would the fact that the person had lied about what they looked like completely blow the whole deal any thoughts on this would be interesting | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/15/2008 5:12:32 PM | IMO, if a person lies about what they look like or who they are, then they don't have much of an opinion of themselves, and I find low self-esteem to be very unattractive in itself. Folks who lie about themselves may be missing out on the men/women who would like them for who they truly are. Lying and then hoping the other person will love their personality and "what's inside" is a long shot.
Here's a wierd analogy... I like Diet Coke and Dr. Pepper. I had a hankering today for a Diet Coke, and went through a drive-thru to get one. Paid for it, drove home, took a slug, and .... Dr. Pepper. I didn't DISlike it, but it was not what I expected. I ended up not finishing it. If I'm talking to someone, and they portray themselves one way, and then I meet them and they are not what I expected, then there may be that momentary disappointment, and that can sometimes be a bad thing. | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/15/2008 5:21:05 PM | | Oh, and as far as "leveling the playing field", I think it levels the playing field during the online chatting and phone conversation stages. Once a face-to-face meeting occurs, the person lying has actually put themselves at a disadvantage. Not only may they not look like what their date expects, but now they have also shown a lack of self-confidence and a tendency to be misleading about themselves. People should just be honest about themselves - they will find someone - here or somewhere else. | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/15/2008 5:22:17 PM | My ex wasn't what I expected but I loved her anyway.
However that was the past and I'm finding that my horizons are widening due to meeting someone who blows all my preconceptions out of the water. Sure she has the looks but more important, I'm thinking pretty deeply about things that I've never really considered before. In the end, even if she proved to be someone different than the persona she portrays I would still be interested. | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/15/2008 5:36:03 PM | | I've gone out with people that weren't what I expected, and we continued dating for awhile. I guess I'm thinking of someone who grossly misleads me. If the picture doesn't look exactly like them, well, what the heck - a lot of folks' pictures don't. But if they posted a picture of someone else entirely, that's another thing. Same thing with personalities/selves, which is what I was thinking of when you said "persona". If someone says they are an outgoing businessman, and they turn out to be a quiet artist, we're probably not going to be a match. | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/15/2008 5:52:14 PM | The whole creating a fake profile so someone will like someone else for who they are and not what they look like is garbage to me.
You may come to think hey I really like this person and so on. But what happends when you meet and you find out they lied?
It would be a deal breaker for me, I don't care how nice I had thought they were, they blew it when they lied to me, and you can't base something good and solid on lies. | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/15/2008 5:54:14 PM | I think that this really won't work....since its based on a lie...
In all honesty this profile is fake...lol my physical discription is completely wrong....but I'm really just here for the forums...I have NO intention of meeting anyone. I don't respond to many emails...unless the intention is actually just to chat.
I used to be on here for a couple years with my real profile....pic and everything...and its funny to see the people I wrote to before who read and deleted my email....now emailing this profile wanting to get to know me......people are very much interested in a certian physical look......not so much personality at all (as that hasn't changed at all).
Anyway I don't think its an even playing field...I think online dating seems to be just a newer way for people to do what they do....look for the greener grass... | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/15/2008 6:09:05 PM | A liar is a liar, and definitely not someone I want to be involved with in any shape or form. If they lie about their profile and whom they are what else will they lie about?
I'd like to know if ANYONE who has ever met someone who lied in their profile actually kept talking to the person or even got involved with them, because i highly doubt it. | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/15/2008 8:15:03 PM |
But if a person created a fake persona then got to know a guy/girl over the internet then met the person , would the fact that the guy/girl had got to know the real personality not just looks matter then
But you wouldn’t be getting to know the “real person”. A persona is far more than looks; it is a characterization, a facade, a fake personality. Posting a “false outside” to gain favor would be a deal breaker for me, as I don’t feel a relationship can be built upon a lie. Worse still would be misrepresenting who you truly are on the inside; that would be an unscrupulous betrayal.
I do believe that some folks will find a turning of the tables when engaging in the online, as opposed to the “outside”, dating world. It will put some in more favorable position, and others will find it hinders their chances of meeting their match. For example, those who possess outward beauty will still get plenty of hits, but may do better when they are in a social situation. Likewise, those who are ill at ease with initial face-to-face meetings may find their “voice” in an online world; especially if they are well versed with the written word. However, it is still imperative that one must be “themselves” and not resort to fakery or tricks. If one is better suited to the online world, then the medium is just letting certain attributes that that they truly possess shine in a different, albeit better, light. | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/16/2008 2:05:18 PM | well i was thinking about this the other day and you see a lot of comments about fake profiles and also people meeting people and them not looking anything like the picture on their profile. But if a person created a fake persona then got to know a guy/girl over the internet then met the person , would the fact that the guy/girl had got to know the real personality not just looks matter then , (kind of like in the movie shallow hal), or would the fact that the person had lied about what they looked like completely blow the whole deal any thoughts on this would be interesting
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I have to wonder if the OP has met anyone off the net yet. LOLOL....Because if the OP HAD met anyone, he would know first hand that people give one second of time to determine if you ARE who you SAID you were. If you are NOT who you SAID you were, you are DONE...
And often, you are done even if you ARE who you said you were, because THEIR perception of who you are and what your pictures look like are different from reality.
My photos are recent. I am everything I say I am. The only thing I do not specify on my profile is my age - because I quite simply HATE being judged by two numbers. I want to be judged on my heart, mind, and looks. I don't touch up my photos, they are from a web cam, they are TOTALLY honest...but still when people meet me in person sometimes I am apparently not what they expected.
I don't think there is any way to "fix" that. But I do NOT think that creating a fake profile with fake pictures would "even" the playing field - because the second people have met me, they decide whether or not I am who I represented...and if I am NOT who they thought....they are outa there.
Bada Bing, Bada Boom | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/16/2008 10:12:52 PM | I dont like being lied to.
When someone lies about one thing, then its basicaly safe to assume there are other things that they may have lied to you about.
I believe realtionships are all about an equal exchange of respect and honesty, i show my pics, it is only fair that i get to see thiers sometime down the track as its always nice to see whom you are talking to ^_^ | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/17/2008 7:15:27 AM |
Looks is very important. If a guy cannot pass my looks test, he is not desirable. Demanding that a guy be good looking is not shallow, it is being smart. That is like saying that seeking a guy in good health is shallow.
You're entitled to your opinion.... but remember this statement when you have a few more years behind you, maybe 1 or 2 kids and the daddy's not around, and your back on here with 75 more pounds on your hips.... Looking for a good guy...
Then you will flip what you just said..... and start to say that "Looks dont matter" its whats on the inside that counts... especially when your not getting the attention you enjoy currently....
LOL!!!  | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/17/2008 9:54:51 PM | You're entitled to your opinion.... but remember this statement when you have a few more years behind you, maybe 1 or 2 kids and the daddy's not around, and your back on here with 75 more pounds on your hips.... Looking for a good guy...
Then you will flip what you just said..... and start to say that "Looks dont matter" its whats on the inside that counts... You silly man! That will never happen. I will marry at 21 or 22 within one year after I graduate for college when I'm still at my peak desirability. And, like my parents, it will be forever. Also, like my parents and grandparents, it is not in my genes to gain a lot of weight.
And, don't be trying with "stupid what ifs." It is not in my nature to make such serious mistakes.
Now back to the subject of the thread: I don't see internet dating being anything more than just another and additionsl option to meet people. If it adds ten percent to the people you may meet then like income that is a ten percent raise. | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/18/2008 10:48:04 AM | | All us guys have to admit that looks do matter. In reality, the woman may be hot and sexy on the outside but hell to be with on the inside. In my opinion, woman should show the lasting beauty of who they are inside, so there will be no surprises for those seeking long term relationships. Geeks are simply men/women with little experience and there is no such thing as an ugly women. | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/18/2008 11:05:21 AM | Internet dating makes it harder for geeks and ugly people. It is much easier to make a snap judgement about them based on their face, their stated body type, etc rather than risking getting to know them.
But liars are liars and faking info on your profile is just stupid. Geeky or less than pleasant people often are fantastic people but liars won't ever be trusted. | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/18/2008 12:01:28 PM | Unfortunately because a lot of people have a narrow view of what is/is not acceptable in a potential date/partner some people feel that "Bending the truth" is the only way to go.
A lot of women will only date men who are the stereotypical tall/dark/rich/handsome etc and a lot of men will only date a woman if she is bellow a certain size,curvy etc,therfore a lot of people feel that if they play by the rules they will get nowhere.I have been on the recieving end of this (in a way) as I once met a woman who said that I lied about my height (which I did not) and she did a runner by saying she was going to the bathroom and then vanished only to give me abuse via her pc later.I'm sure that this has happened to a lot of people who have "Altered" themselves only to be found out at a later date.
I am a munchkin,I don't like it but I would not lie about it as even though I hate being single I am always true to myself,even if it means being single indefinitely.If someone lies about something on their profile in order to get somewhere,it may mean that they are not to be trusted in other things as well.
I can see why people would do it,especially in this world in which what you own and what you look like are the only two things that matter.However from a personal point of view I would never do that though I can see why a lot of people choose to do so.
Maybe if people were not so quick to judge a book by its cover,people might feel comftable with themselves and their chances in the dating world. | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/19/2008 11:53:21 AM | I've dated more since trying the internet, so my opinion is yes the internet has helped level the playing field. However I think part of this is because we've exposed ourselves more to the opportunity to date.
As for fake profiles, nope dishonesty is the one thing guaranteed everytime to turn me off. | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 2/19/2008 12:13:44 PM | | No. I think internet dating makes it harder for the "less attractive" people. People will look at your pic and your stats ( height, weight, age etc ). If you don't fit their criteria, then they often wouldn't give you a chance. In real life, people might be more willing to overlook physical appearance to some degree if there are other things about a person that is appealing to them. | |
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