| | Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?Page 1 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | I never expected it. But 20 years with same man (high school sweethearts). Kids, house, 2 cars, all was picture perfect... so what.
I went to clubs with gal pals, never expecting what was coming next!! A woman started talking to me, we had so much in common. I laughed, felt free, easy, safe to be me. Because she was a woman, right?
Then she announced she was Gay. But, I noticed I didnt 'flip out', get angry; no walls came up... just felt.. an 'oh, ok'
We exchanged numbers, met a few more times. I really like her! Does this mean I'm gay? She has been gay her whole life. I think about her 24/7. The phone rings, I jump for it! Like a teen ager again.
We have never been intimate, but lord, my body is talking! Either she knows what she's doing, or I just havn't been out enough (out as far as, clubs, bars, and such). (well, true, only 1 man in my whole life, and he was not so nice)
What do you think? Anyone else a recent 'outta closet lady' (if thats what I even am yet??) | |
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/15/2008 6:24:33 PM | Sweetheart? I don't think by what you have posted that you know what you want!
Fresh out of a marriage. God girlie I have been there and done that. Never considered a female, even through all of my pain. Could I suggest that you take some time to soul search? Then perhaps move on? I am not bashing what you think you want, am only asking that you really heal first. Then you will know what you want, be it male or female! All the best! | |
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/15/2008 6:32:00 PM | Moon, I dont know what I want, but Im so surprized to find myself thinking of her, maybe because she listens?
Im quite sure I'm not attracted to woman, in 'that way'. If I was, wouldn't I of 'felt' it before?
I love men, and it's all I've 'known. I have thought, because he never listened, and she did/does... I'm scared of this'feeling'.
I have had loads of gal pals for years, but they were married, kids, school ptas and such... in same boat as me and mine. I never felt that way, ever | |
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/15/2008 6:44:25 PM | | Please do not confuse your need to have someone listen to you darlin, with wanting a mate. You are very vulnerable at the moment. Should you wish? Experiment a little without committment. But be careful that you do not mix things up even more. I think if you have always been attracted to men, then that is where you should stay. Then again I don't know you or your preference darlin! Just try to keep your head straight when you move forward! | |
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/15/2008 6:57:43 PM | I am very vunerable at this time. Maybe she caught that, the first time we met in local bar. Was a bunch of my old dear friends taking 'me' out.. to break me in.. get me back in the swing of things.
Funny, as I was talking with her, feeling 'safe' and I had that nagging feeling 'don't talk to any men, it's cheating'. I hadn't talked in such a long long time, to a new person. One who didn't know my ex, kids, my whole life history.
You know, she hasn't been pushy with me, but she 'had to tell me', but I wonder, why the first night. That was the right thing for her to do I suppose. Yes, I do think so. telling me right off (well few cosmo drinks later).
Yes, I'm attracted to men, but why the heck is my 'body' talking? | |
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/15/2008 7:03:34 PM | | I don't think this is the place to continue this discussion hun. Then again others may have a better viewpoint than I do. You have to go with what feels good for you. Although I might add that you seem to be in a bit of turmoil at the moment, so snap judgements/decisions may not be what helps??? | |
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/15/2008 7:21:32 PM | From what you've posted so far, it seems you're just very happy to have someone to talk to --- someone to break the isolation and feeling of rejection. Seeing you new friend brings joy because she will listen to you.
Maybe it's been a long time since you've really been happy, so being light-hearted seems a little dizzy and now you're confused. Basically, if this woman had never mentioned being gay, you probably never would have even thought about it or posted this thread.
Simple test. Are you using your bedroom toys when you visualize your friend?
No? Then she's just a friend, chill out.  | |
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:41:52 PM | Being bi-curious is more common than being gay. Sexuality for some can mean more than heterosexual. Just as you would not be attracted sexually to just any man, nor would you be attracted to just any woman.
Women are beautiful. I'm curious because it's a form of sexuality I find somewhat enticing. In my recent time of just being aware of the thoughts, I've only ever stood by two women that made me go "hmmmmmm" in the same way that I've felt about many a man. Both women were strangers while out and about running errands. I tell you - it was an eye opener when I felt my body talking in that moment and the direction of that arousal was a woman.
There you go. Maybe a little bit of what you might be feeling. Keep asking yourself questions, listen to what is going on in inside. When heart, mind and body are aligned properly (heart doesn't have to mean love) then all is well. | |
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/16/2008 5:04:31 AM | Sometimes we just get tired of the opposite sex & enjoy hanging out w/ same sex friends, particularly if we have been HURT by the OPPOSITE sex!
My take is don't rush into any new relationship. You initially hung out w/ this woman as a friend, & liked that. If you got sexual & it didn't work out you may lose a friend (happens w/ opposite sex relationships too!)
But that is just my opinion, I could be wrong | |
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/16/2008 5:30:54 AM | | Perhaps she is filling the emotional need you marriage did not and the void you now feel. Approach this with caution. Look back over your life, were attracted to women before or is this a new thing? | |
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/16/2008 5:59:38 AM | Love bombs work for straight people and gay people.
It's in the pickup artist's handbook.
Rule #1. Make them think your interested. Ask questions to get them to talk about themselves and look into their eyes with concern.
Out of the closet? No you would have to have been lusting after women and hiding it to be in the closet.
I heard a gay woman exclaiming she was going to be bi after finding getting used by a female player hurts as much as getting used by men.
I told her she now could fear getting rejected by both sexes after they get what they want. | |
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/16/2008 8:15:52 AM | Many people just fresh out of an LTR find that they've been starving for affection. It's easy to overdose when you start getting it.
This also reminds me of a thread about someone complaining that once they were divorced, their libido kicked into overdrive. "I want to fvck everyone who walks into the door! Help Me!" | |
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/16/2008 11:48:15 AM | Now Steve...don't be creeped out! The gal seriously is wondering and exploring her sexuality. I think that being new out of a long term relationship, she is flattered by this other gals attention. But I would advise as I have previously, to proceed with caution. What she may think is an attraction, could simply be the fact that she appreciates the attention she is getting. Something that perhaps she didn't receive in her marriage. I know when I was first on my own, OMG! lol. So much to explore and think about. Now things are back into perspective for me thankfully.
OP? As I said before, take your time hun. Be true to your ownself. Look deep inside to see what it is you really think this situation is without confusing it for affection that you never had. | |
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/16/2008 5:28:01 PM | Now Steve...don't be creeped out! The gal seriously is wondering and exploring her sexuality. I think that being new out of a long term relationship, she is flattered by this other gals attention. But I would advise as I have previously, to proceed with caution. What she may think is an attraction, could simply be the fact that she appreciates the attention she is getting. Something that perhaps she didn't receive in her marriage. I know when I was first on my own, OMG! lol. So much to explore and think about. Now things are back into perspective for me thankfully.
OP? As I said before, take your time hun. Be true to your ownself. Look deep inside to see what it is you really think this situation is without confusing it for affection that you never had.
...kudos to you Miss moon...I agree. It can be confusing when just out of a relationship, your looking for something to fill that empty feeling, a replacement. I've been there...well not in the closet, but that vulnerable state whereas I just wanted to feel loved and appreciated. I NEEDED to feel desirable, that sombody wanted me.
Its probably easy to turn to a woman...the "softer sex". Who understands us more than another woman? I would distance myself for a while though OP, your feelings are still too raw and close to the surface. Don't jump into somethng you may regret later on....slow and steady.
...maeflowers
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/16/2008 5:37:57 PM | I here what you all are saying, I felt the same way after the Divorce, But and this is a big one if another man approached me with anything like that he would need a stretcher to leave with. I understand the whole thing but it still creeps me out. Yikes!!!!!!
And by the way both Mae and Moonchild, I value your input on most things in these forums. Even though sometime this forum can be too over the top. | |
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/16/2008 5:54:06 PM | OP: Heed the advice and go slow....we all like to have someone pay attention
to us. Though like others I have no closets to come out of ...I have jumped into
relationships too soon after major break ups. Those young ladies deserve
an apology for being the first woman to pay me any attention during those
hard heart times. They caught the wrath for just merely caring about me.
Please take the time to take the time.
Take it from a selfish lover.
Skunk | |
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/16/2008 7:06:25 PM | | Wow Mr. Skunk! (you should change your name)...What an awesome thought you posted. Tis very true, we can make others pay for our careless thoughts when we are messed up! And not intentionally either... | |
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/16/2008 8:10:39 PM |
We exchanged numbers, met a few more times. I really like her! Does this mean I'm gay? She has been gay her whole life. I think about her 24/7. The phone rings, I jump for it! Like a teen ager again.
No, I don't think your gay ... I think your just curious because she's gay, you like her and you get along so well. I just hope she doesn't use your weakened state of being and alcohol as a way to cause you to doubt your sexual orientation.
It's ok to have those feelings I suppose ...
ummm, in case it matters ... I get a stiffy whenever I see a Red Ferrari.
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| Out of the closet... a Woman at my age?
Posted: 2/16/2008 8:29:55 PM |
OP: Heed the advice and go slow....we all like to have someone pay attention
to us. Though like others I have no closets to come out of ...I have jumped into
relationships too soon after major break ups. Those young ladies deserve
an apology for being the first woman to pay me any attention during those
hard heart times. They caught the wrath for just merely caring about me.
Please take the time to take the time.
Take it from a selfish lover.
Skunk
.......I think most of us do that don't we? Were hurting and just looking to make the hurt go away for a little while...Time really does heal all...such a cliche' but so true.
...maeflowers | |
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