| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:00:14 PM | Talked to a guy from POF for about a month. We developed crushes on each other before we finally met. When we met, he ranted and raved about the way I looked in person (better than pics, etc., etc., so he said), he held my hand all night long, stroked my face, kept gently kissing me, etcetera. He also had a raging......well.....hard-on. I was pretty shy so pulled away a lot (including when he went to kiss me good night), wouldn't look at him, etc., but I liked him. I left thinking he really liked me (I'm no fool - he seemed quite sincere), but I thought I'd given him the impression I didn't like him (which wasn't true). He sent me me a message later that night apologizing for making me uncomfortable and said he understood if I didn't want to talk to him. I reassured him I liked him a lot. Then poof...nothing. Don't know if he actually liked me a lot, but was turned off by my behavior or if I ran into the ultimate player who wasn't really all that thrilled with me on meeting me in person, but figured he might as well flatter me and gently romance me all night in the hopes of a quick lay. Well, guys???   | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:14:31 PM | Ha, yep. Sounds like a play.
Probably just hoping for a quick hookup, and then when you say "you really like him" he got all freaked. maybe at the thought of it turning into a relationship, leading you on, so on so forth.
If he doesn't reply to you within a week I would assume he's making that little date of yours "dissapear"
Keep fishing. | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:19:29 PM |
We developed crushes on each other before we finally met.
You did, he SAID he did.
He wanted to lay you. You pulled away. He doesn't want to waste any more time with you.
Of course he was turned off. He thought it was a done deal and it wasn't. That turned him off.
He was not trying to get to know you. He was trying to get to feel you.
You were not played, that's not the right word for it. You wanted one thing, he wanted another. I wonder what his profile says.
At least he had the decency to appologize for making you feel uncomfortable. Not a player, just a mismatch in expectancies. | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:28:13 PM | This guy was NOT a player. I can say this with absolute certainty for a couple of reasons.
Firstly, because real players do not ever chase women. If they have tight game, women chase them. And secondly, because if he was a player, you would have had sex with him.
Amateurs (rolleyes) | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:29:56 PM | You got played.
He didn't get what he made it clear he was after, and he vanished. You didn't get what you wanted, which was an honest relationship.
You both lost. Move on. | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:49:06 PM | Give it time, there could be any number of reasons why he hasn't got back to you. And give him his space, just wait it out to see if he is what you are hoping for.
Don't jump to conclusions, that will poison your thoughts. If he doesn't contact you, just move on and forget about him. Good for you to hold your standards high! | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/15/2008 10:04:45 PM | Some guys don't understand that women just need more time. They'll take "slow down" as rejection. This is all you needed, right? More time.
When you kept pulling away, that told him "NO." ...rejection. And when they take it like that, it hurts. When you sent that email telling him that you really liked him, he thought, "whatever... she totally rejected me."
A player would have played off your signals, waited and maybe tried again later. Scoundrel is right. Players let the lady lead the way(or make her believe this) and know how to get HER to take the steps. | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/15/2008 10:14:52 PM | Maybe he did really like you.......did you shy away....or turn off your attraction completely sending him mixed signals? Some are scared he open up to you and when you completely turn off it it sends multiple red flags. Explain yourself and why to him....find out....he isnt a player...or at least not a good one it seemed...but he may be trying to learn the game also...... | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/15/2008 10:25:04 PM |
This guy was NOT a player. I can say this with absolute certainty for a couple of reasons.
Firstly, because real players do not ever chase women. If they have tight game, women chase them. And secondly, because if he was a player, you would have had sex with him.
Amateurs (rolleyes)
Truth right there.
I think some of you folks here need to lay off on the sensitivity meter about guys being players.
Seems to me if I had to make ONE call as to who got played? I'd say the guy got played in this situation  | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/15/2008 10:57:30 PM |
Seems to me if I had to make ONE call as to who got played? I'd say the guy got played in this situation
Agreed. I'd bet a crisp fifty that that's how HE feels! | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/15/2008 11:40:32 PM | | doesn't really sound like a play to me. My guess is the guy really did/does like you and felt that you weren't that into him since you kept pulling away etc. Actually I wouldn't be surprised if he thinks that you were just flattering him for the sake of being nice. Really, I don't think a player would gently romance you all night and then send you a text message apologizing for making you uncomfortable. A player would romance you all night, and then never contact you again, regardless of how the date went. | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/15/2008 11:47:02 PM | OP
If this guy was a player, he needs to practice more cause he isn't too good at it. As other posters said, he wouldn't appologize, he wouldn't back off and he wouldn't let a cold shoulder bother him. He would have either bagged you that night or a second night. The whole boner thing also tells me he wasn't a player either. Players have a lot more control over things than to let something go that obvious. With players it is about control and that just doesn't sound player to me.
Sounds like the guy either did like you and didn't believe your words or he is a player in training and you were his scrimmage and he is getting chewed out by his coach right about now.  | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/16/2008 1:46:54 AM | For all i know he could have gotten hit by a truck and was left half dead by the side of the road.
Give it some time, he might just be a bit embarrassed about the situation. It's a fairly big step for a guy to try and kiss you but what i dont get is that you had been kissing before so why did you pull back in the end? | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/16/2008 4:13:58 AM | | He thought you were playing him.. You had crushes on each other before meeting.. Then when you took it super slow .. He was out of there | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/16/2008 5:02:48 PM | Hi Everyone,
Thanks for the enlightening responses. I suppose, when all is said and done, if someone's into you no matter what happened (LOL short of pulling a butcher knife on someone!), they'll eventually let you know. If this guy doesn't bother eventually picking up the phone, I have my answer. However, I'd prefer him to just come out and say he doesn't want to talk if he doesn't. Then there's no wondering and it makes it easier and faster to move on. I still like to know what makes people do what they do though. It always mystifies me. | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/16/2008 10:08:40 PM |
you were his scrimmage and he is getting chewed out by his coach right about now.
^^^He is getting kicked in the behind right about now . . . .
OP: Nothing personal against you . . . . don't beat yaself up . . . .DON'T COMPLICATE your life by over thinking it . . .
It is what it is . . . . NOT FOR YOU!
NEXT . . . .
~Myth~ | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/16/2008 10:27:06 PM | 1. If he had a raging erection obviously he wasn't disappointed when he met you in person.
2. He had his hands and mouth on you all evening.
3. He purposely let you know he was raging and ready.
4. You revealed you "liked him a lot" and never heard from him again.
What was the question? | |
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octoro
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Joined: 1/24/2008
Msg: 18 | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/17/2008 3:54:54 AM | "Of course he was turned off. He thought it was a done deal and it wasn't. That turned him off."
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Nordic could very well be right. Or, he may have been sincere and is now mortified because he got carried away. You may want to review your own Forum Posts for some insight. | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/17/2008 11:56:14 AM | No more opinions needed. Ran into a POF chick who knows him. The guy is apparently the biggest player online. LOL Why am I not surprised?!!!!!!! | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/17/2008 12:09:01 PM | | I know the situation resolved for you, but I wanted to add something that a guy once said on here that stuck with me: "If you're confused, you're being played." | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/17/2008 12:16:29 PM | I don't think you were played.
This guy either, lost interest after meeting you, or assumed that maybe you didn't like him. That doesn't make him a player. | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/17/2008 12:52:38 PM | | someplace, if he lost interest when we met, I have no problem with it. What irks me is all the BS he told me all night long. That, and he couldn't keep his mouth and hands off me. If he wasn't interested, he shouldn't have BS'ed me and pawed me all night. I don't particularly appreciate people who aren't interested in me lying to me and trying to use me for a quick lay. Pretty simple, huh? Yep, he's a player. | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/17/2008 2:44:34 PM | IMO he was looking for a hookup. He saw you weren't going to jump in the sack at first date and moved on to one that will.
He replied in the hopes that you would start something up in chat and carry it over to a physical hookup the next time.
I'm willing to bet you didn't reply to his message with a bunch of obvious flirting. If you did, he may have stayed interested.
Push him to the curb and keep fishing. He had his chance. Onward and, hopefully, upward.
PEACE | |
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| Guys??? Need to know! Was I played??
Posted: 2/17/2008 2:57:10 PM | Well, if you didn't sleep with him, than I would hardly say you were played.
Could he have had an ulterior motive. Sure. Almost every man you ever meet will.
Men want to meet a woman they can see themselves in bed with within the first 20 seconds o seeing her. That's just the way men are.
However, there's also the possibility that he is shy, he is legitimately embarrassed, and he thinks you're disinterested.
It's a slim chance, but it's there.
Remember: it's not just women who like to be chased.
Try contacting him once more. Be sincere and ask him to meet you for coffee. DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM on that date, but DO show that you're interested.
If he balks at your invitation, then you're left with 2 possibilities:
1) He's a player.
2) He's insecure and his issues are so severe, that they affect his social life. In which case, you probably won't want to date him until he can get over some of those issues. | |
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