| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/17/2008 12:25:09 PM | Well it seems to me that the women nowadays , eather have kids and don't want anymore, or they just don't want any at all.I'm A single father with 3 childern ,My childern are my life.It looks like the days of A big family are over and i'll have to wait until my childern grow up before I find someone.Thats fine though.Companiomship would be great but ,I can get along just fine .If anyone out there has any feed back for me my ears are open | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/17/2008 2:41:59 PM | Its surprising to hear you say this because i used to feel that way too. But
its more of what the person is willing to commit to, not that they dont like you.
I find women tend to stand off more than men when it comes to kids.
I work around a lot of single parents and guys tend to accept more thean the ladies do from what i've see so far. there are some great ladies out there. When yours comes along it wont matter if you braid your back hair or have twelve kids, she'll like you for you!
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/17/2008 3:35:04 PM | | I personally find that I would prefer a single father. But to give every guy a chance I won't discriminate. I hope you find the right woman as she has to accept not only you but your children, and it is vice versa for woman. Good luck! | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/17/2008 4:23:15 PM | | Being a single parent myself, that is actually one of my 'criteria' on here, looking for a man that all ready has children of his own, as no body understands the commitment you have to your children except someone who has a child. Admittedly, I think it is much more difficult to find time together when you both have children, but it can be done. I have recently started seeing someone off POF after talking for 6 months. We have finally started to take things to more than just friends, and it seems like it is taking forever, but we both have very busy lives with our respective children. The only advice I can really offer is not to give up! I am sure there are many women like myself who are looking for a man with children, and although it does take longer to establish anything, so far it has been well worth it for me! | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/17/2008 4:50:15 PM | I agree with you. I have been talking to a single mom and with our schedules there has never been even time to meet. I agree with the young lady who said that a person with a child already knows committment, but let's face it it is going to be to the child first.
It's hard to make a relationship work nowadays anyway without all this added complication. I still have hope that one day things are going to work out. Still, I won't be with anyone unless they accept the fact that I have my daughter and that she is a huge important part of me that isn't going away.  | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/17/2008 7:29:56 PM | | it is so true. i have full custody of 3 kids all under 11 and it is hard to find someone that is willing to be in that. sure i have alot of /friends/ but no one wanting more. But there is nothing i would change my kids are my life | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/17/2008 8:34:32 PM | | Well first I as a single mother, would like to tell you all single dads. Welcome to the club!!!! First off it takes alot of patience to be a single parent these days. But I do believe that men and women both get cold feet when theres kids involved. Specially when either sex doesn't already have children. As parents we put our children first, which to me its only right . Well heres to happy fishing someone out there is just waiting for one of us!!! Good luck in the pond. Jo | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/17/2008 9:23:05 PM | Thank you all for the words of encouragement,I believe theres someone great out there for all of us inriched folkes.It's probubly A good thing our situation does'nt alow for an arsy entrance.Becuas anything less than great just won't do for any single parent.  | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/17/2008 11:57:36 PM | | It can be tough if both people are single parents but it can work. It just takes understanding and a love for family. Maybe at some point if you really want to get to know each other you make a fun day for all the kids and meet as friends ( as far as the kiddos know). Yeah know...the Zoo, museum... They just want to have fun. This is great as long as their is not a new person every week or month. If you take the time to get to know someone on here and then phone and e-mail....It can be done even if you are both single parents. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/18/2008 3:07:04 AM | | I think that it is probably easier for two single parents to meet than for a single parent to meet with person that doesn't have children. I would be less likely to meet with someone who didn't have kids at a similar age as my daughter because it would be more difficult for my daughter to understand- on the other hand, if I was to meet someone at a park for the kids to play it would seem quite a natural thing from my daughter's perspective. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/18/2008 3:42:38 AM | Here is something that i feel is unfair. I personally am seeing a wonderful man who has one child and i also have my own two. He made it clear to me that he didn't want a replacement mummy and i know i made it clear that they dont need another father figure. We get on really well and as of yet i have not met his child but i'm happy to say that i would take him and his son on wholeheartedly as its all part of the package. There are women out there who will give it a go so please dont feel as if you'll forever be lonely... | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:37:50 AM | | I know what you mean by conflicting schedules. It almost takes an act of congress for me to line up a date sometimes because of childcare concerns. It just takes patience and understanding, something we all want as qualities in a mate to begin with. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/18/2008 8:04:24 AM | I have no clue...single parents at least have something in common right off the bat. The fact that our life is not our own!
Like other posters, I would prefer to date someone that has a child/children that they are involved with on a consistent basis or even with a very structured dating schedule such as mine, so they can relate to difficulites of making a new relationship blossom and move forward while only physically being able to see the person eow and one night a week.  | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/18/2008 8:11:27 AM | This question keeps coming up and I have no clue why! I personally prefer a single father. Maybe 2 issues;
1) An uninvolved father or father who was satisfied with anything less than full custody (I accept we have to share but there's never a time I don't want my kids!) might throw up red flags. If he isn't doing everything he can to see them and be in their lives as much as possible, I'd lose a lot of respect.
2) An overly involved or possessive mother in the picture might be a little scary to any potential future step-mom!
Just a couple guesses. That might be the only things that would concern me.
Basically, a good, affectionate, attentive father is about the sexiest thing on the face of this planet! I'd feel like I were missing out if I were with a man with either no kids or grown kids. I want a father with young kids. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/18/2008 8:17:16 AM | I can't speak for all single moms but can only give the feedback I getwhen I ask my single female friends about dating. Most of my friend's who are single mother's say that they do not want the extra drama more children bring. I point out to them that it is a bit of a double stanadrd but they seem not to care.
We all have choices. Why do so many start new threads when there are already many threads on these types of topics? | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/18/2008 8:31:03 AM | Pokemom nailed it.
I have no clue...single parents at least have something in common right off the bat. The fact that our life is not our own!
This has been discussed to death but my opinion is exactly as stated above. It's not that children are your entire existence, nor is it that they are incidental to your purpose either.
As a single parent, if I don't get a *little* time without them it makes for an unfulfilled SglDad. Single parents are most empathetic that if at the last moment you have to change your plans for whatever situation may arise with respect to your children.
It's in the Single Parent handbook, page 7. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/18/2008 9:28:28 AM | Dunno, I wouldn't mind meeting a few myself. I think besides understanding the juggling that goes on, they are also tend to be great guys because they have (usually) chosen to be a full time parent and involved.
Do single dads have club meetings I could crash? | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/18/2008 9:33:16 AM | | Well i dont necessary think thats the case.I do know schedules can be very hard to meet.So you have to compromise.Then everyone can work something out!!!Actually i tink single dads probaly have more patients for other peoples kids!!!People who dont have kids are likely to not have much patients for kids period!!!I have four kids and beleive me its not always easy..But when there your own its unconditional love!!!Nothing can beat that!!!!Your kids can fulfill some of that emptiness!!I agree that meeting other adults for companionship friendship first is the way to go!!! | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/18/2008 11:43:33 AM | | I don't think thats true I'm a single mother of two boys who like you are my life and I would go with a single dad. I love children and I think they make a guy more of a man when he has them. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:52:31 PM | | There is NOTHING wrong with single fathers..I will not get deeply involved with a man with no kids..simply cause I can not have anymore..I am done..the only thing I ask is for ya not to have alot of "baby momma drama" ... | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/18/2008 6:00:07 PM | | I can see someones concern of a single "Parent" with lets say 5 kids by 3 different "mothers/Fathers" but somone who has 3 kids from a provious relationship with one person?" | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/18/2008 6:01:48 PM | | I have to agree with you completely. I myself am a single mother of 3 children ages 2, 10, and 11. It is very hard to find someone who wants to be involved with a single parent who has young children. I would much rather date a man with children versus a man who doesn't. As someone stated in this post already, they know the demands of having children and know that we can't just "get up and go" at the spur of a moment. My children are my life first and foremost. Granted, it would be nice to find the missing piece of the puzzle but I'm not going to settle for the piece that fits only after you cram it in there to make it work. | |
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Juls37
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Joined: 8/19/2006
Msg: 25 | |
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/19/2008 12:11:09 AM | Personally, I cant see myself interested in someone who doesnt have kids already or someone who does have kids and is not involved in their lives!!!
There are several reasons for this..one is we have something in common and they know how unpredictable life can be with kids....two, I can not have anymore and if I were to meet someone without kids...it is not an option. Plus....I find a man who takes pride in being a good Dad VERY attractive.....so I cant imagine why single mothers shy away from single fathers....
It speaks volumes about a man in my opinion!!!! | |
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) they get along most of the time, until they get tired lol. 
