| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/17/2008 8:02:07 PM | Okay, I was married over 30 years and I'm relatively new to the dating scene. It seems easy enough to get a date, but I swear I'm lost when it comes to understanding what today's older man wants. I had what I thought was a great date last Friday night. We did what we used to call 'heavy petting' but there was no 'intimate' sex. He seemed to understand when I told him that I don't have sex unless I'm in a relationship. Yet, I sensed he was angry, but he didn't come out and say it. I was hoping to hear from him again, and today I looked and he's deleted his profile! I mean, come on! I'm no stalker.
So...what is it today man over 50 expects? And does it matter how many sex partners a woman has had, one you find the lady you want to have a relationship with? Am I simply dating low-life jerks? They seem nice, but drop me as soon as they find out I won't have sex with them. | |
|
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/17/2008 8:29:04 PM |
So...what is it today man over 50 expects? He expects sex the same as he did when he was 18.
And does it matter how many sex partners a woman has had, one you find the lady you want to have a relationship with?
Yes, it matters. If you've been married once.........you've had sex with one man. If you've been married twice then you've had sex with two men. If you've been married three times..........well, you get my drift. Men still desire a virgin. That's what they want to hear.
Am I simply dating low-life jerks? They seem nice, but drop me as soon as they find out I won't have sex with them.
Yes, you're dating low-life jerks. Why would you settle for this kind of man with this agenda? | |
|
| |
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/17/2008 9:49:38 PM | There are no hard & fast rules for dating, doesn't matter what age. Here's the things that I live by:
#1 - if it doesn't feel right, I don't do it.
#2 - trust the gut.
#3 - don't try to change, don't try to fix someone.
#4 - mind your manners. Treat others with respect and dignity.
#5 - ask your date questions about themselves. Find out their passions, interests.
#6 - more listening, less talking is better.
#7 - don't go on a date, expecting to get married, or laid.
#8 - meet in public places, until you feel comfortable.
#9 - if you kiss, if you run a couple of bases, or score a home run, keep it safe. There's no guarantees that if you "put out", that you'll see your date again. As far as any of the "physical contact sports" (don't play them unless you're ready - emotionally & physically).
#10 - if you find that you broke #9 - played before you're ready, don't be hard on yourself. It happens to the best of us. Just try not to make the "use them and lose them" scenario play over and over.
#11 - count your blessings that you don't have to bring your date home to Mom & Dad.
#12 - those of us who have been divorced - we all feel screwed from the divorce (at some time). Don't keep replaying the "I've Been Screwed", especially on a date. No one likes to attend Pity Parties.
#13 - don't bad mouth the ex. Don't talk about how your former relationships were from hell. We've all been there.
#14 - keep it simple.
#15 - don't over analyze "why" or "why not". Things just happen. If it's a mistake, learn from it, move on, and celebrate life! | |
|
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/18/2008 12:30:28 AM | | Some men are jerks, always have been, always will be when it comes to wanting immediate sex. They just don't know how to treat a woman with respect because they don't respect women, they see them as a means to gain sex and little else. I personally wouldn't do any "heavy petting" or anything close to that on a first date, but that is different for everyone and oh my yes, the double standard is alive and well and living everywhere. I hope you will get to know someone quite well before you accept a date with them and make it very clear from the beginning that you do not intend to have sex on the 1st, 2nd or 3rd or 10th date -whatever standard fits what you want. And don't accept any less than you what you want. If a man cannot respect a woman's wishes, he simply has no respect for women and never will. There are some good, nice men (somewhere) I hope you hold out for one and don't let the jerks make you feel bad about yourself because you have moral and ethical standards. There a plenty of women who see nothing wrong with having sex very soon, that is their right and their call, but it doesn't mean it is right for you. | |
|
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/18/2008 2:12:43 AM | | Suecat has said all it well and they are good guidelines for anyone of any age to consider except for #11. The only thing to add would be to #11. Would you bring them home to meet Mom and Dad? | |
|
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/18/2008 2:42:30 AM | No, there are no rules. There are, unfortunately, many people out there
who think there are rules and expect you to not only know them, but to live by them.
The result is a lot of folks screaming about “Players”, “Frigid Women” ,
and all sorts of other labels that just add to hurt feelings and bruised egos.
Even if there was a set of Rules that everyone knew and agreed on, we,
the Baby Boomers, would choose to protest them and work to eradicate them,
just like we have every other set of Rules we have encountered.  | |
|
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/18/2008 3:55:51 AM | Hi Austin..
Thank you!!
I am trying to get back into dating after 6 years and I am getting so discouraged! I am so pleased to see I am not alone in having a few standards I believe in and the guts to stand up for them.
While I have a very healthy pulse rate I am not interested in sleeping with someone to get his attention. I had a too close encounter before Christmas and I have to admit I'm spooked again.
Stand up for your beliefs. You cant sell a product you don't believe in, and it's your right to do so.
Best of luck to you. | |
|
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/18/2008 3:59:27 AM | Every man you meet is exactly the same. The only reason we look different is because of some fluke of nature that only made us appear different.
We all expect exactly the same thing and if we don't get it, we have to delete our profile, see a plastic surgeon have our name changed and get new ID.
Do you realize how costly that all becomes?
We don't like being teased and have no idea what a relationship is and want to know if the sex is worth pretending that we do so it's a conundrum.
Whatever we say, we have underlying pent up rage and you're better off banning together with women that understand this so they can fill you in on the finer details of being dominant over men and turning them into whimps that will never think there's someone else more appealing then you. | |
|
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/18/2008 4:36:38 AM | Im younger than you but the biggest change i noticed in the dating world was that when we were younger,we FIRST got into a relationship,& then,had sex.
Fast forward 10,20 years.........You have sex FIRST, then,maybe,you'll end up with the relationship...... | |
|
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:24:07 AM | | I had a date and I refused to sleep with him, his reply...........I don't know what the big deal is......you aren't a virgin anymore.....................my reply.............because of you.............I have decided to see if I can regain my membership................goodnight! | |
|
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:29:59 AM | This goes beyond the boomers, trust me. If they were horndogs at 18 they are still horndogs at 60+. And what 50 or 60 yr old man expects a virgin like one poster said?? lol
OP only rule is to stick to your values as far as I'm concerned. | |
|
| |
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:41:41 AM |
So...what is it today man over 50 expects? And does it matter how many sex partners a woman has had, one you find the lady you want to have a relationship with? Am I simply dating low-life jerks? They seem nice, but drop me as soon as they find out I won't have sex with them.
A lot of us are not looking for a long term committed relationship that may possibly end with marriage - been there, done that, have half a dozen of the T- Shirts. So the short answer is, "Yes, many men are looking for sex.
I have been dating quite heavily since this past summer. I would say that I had sex with about half the ladies. Each of them gave signals that this was what they wanted, some being so bold as to tell me the last time she had it and how horny she was.
If both parties want to do it, no problem. The one person I had to use some minor coercion on in December, continues to my FWB to this day and we did it the second time we were together. | |
|
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:58:49 AM | I would say the same thing to any female - regardless of age.
Do what YOU want to do - pay no attention to what the guy wants. What he wants is not your problem.
And as for this part > “And does it matter how many sex partners a woman has had”
It matters to me.
I think sex should be special - not just part of the dang “date” - any date - any guy.
After being married most of my life - I am not very interested in today’s ...... what ever the hell it is.
I personally think it is a cause/effect - a stem off of all the “independent” - free will (sexually liberated) thinking these days.
cause ......... expected
effect ......... delivered
expected - delivered
Stop the cycle - forget what is expected. | |
|
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/18/2008 6:26:51 AM | Thank you Ron....well said....
Like I said earlier.....good manners and character are great rules to go by in dating...or treat others as you want them to treat you....nothing too deep about that, and it's easy to remember! | |
|
| |
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/18/2008 6:51:43 AM | | Just another player making it harder for the non-player, thanks Dude. It's hard enough as it is, and then you get this exact thing happening. There should be a check box on profiles for those that just want quick Sex, I know, no one would use it, but I can Dream can't I. | |
|
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/18/2008 6:51:48 AM | Rules?????.......Rules??????.......
Why would you not live by the same rules that you have had as a foundation for your whole life? If you believed in the Golden Rule as you were taught when a child, you should believe in it today as well. Those that did and still do, treat each other that way, and those that did not, still will not, and why would anyone think otherwise?
I say enter each new meeting with optimism and hope that maybe the attraction will be there, the connection, and hopefully the chemistry. If it is, then you have struck gold, and the sex part will happen as wanted by both.....if not, you have met a new person, had the experience, maybe gained a friend, and you move on.
Maybe it is the equality part that I so search for and seek within my dates that makes me find that most of the ones I meet and have a connection with, will be just as desirous for the sexual contact as I am, and once talked about, discussed and health tested, we enjoy that part of our exploration as much as we do all the other parts. This does not happen on the first date, but trust me on this one, it does happen, sooner than later, and often as well, and this is not demanded by me, but wanted by both......if the chemistry is there.
Just my opinion.......   | |
|
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/18/2008 7:12:15 AM | ANKKKA..LMAO!!!! that was too funny isnt it the truth!!and here we are a million years later not practicing what weve preached...  good point sooooo good!!the site is worth it to have these forums for us to relate to others in good and not so good ways..
Mack you need a hug huh????maybe holding the leg up is making the blood rush to your head?!? just a thought..some of your post border on rude and do u like girls?/circle yes or no...dont be a hater...Ill be your friend..
This thread is mines' twin, us wondering what da ......????is wrong ....and my advice is go slow and dont even be some place to "heavy PET" on the first date.but thats just me..use caution... | |
|
| |
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/18/2008 7:56:15 AM | You have rules-one of which is " No sex outside of a relationship."
He had rules-apparently "No dating women that won't give it up on demand."
You may not appreciate it but at least he didn't feign a real interest in a future with you, just so you'd sleep with him.
The man for whom "sex only in a committed relationship" is a rule is more likely to be in one and thus not available to you; The men after sex under more casual circumstances are going to dominate any venue. | |
|
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/18/2008 8:15:12 AM |
The man for whom "sex only in a committed relationship" is a rule is more likely to be in one and thus not available to you; The men after sex under more casual circumstances are going to dominate any venue.
From early India's Karma Sutra to the Old Testament's Sodom and Gomorah and Song of Solomon to today's Penthouse and Playboy, not to mention the Internet, human beings have written about sex. It is a primal urge that is responsible for the survival of our species. It has been an act of worship in several early religions. Is it any wonder that there aren't men who want to participate in what is probably the most pleasurable act we humans can engage in? And, is it any wonder, that when you come right down to it, there are at least an equal number of women who will oblige these men?
Some men of this forum may want to take the high road and say they are against sex without love or a committed relationship or marriage, but when you come right down to it, if we men had the opportunity to have some sex with a partner or a stranger, only a very small percentage of us would turn it down. | |
|
| |
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/18/2008 8:27:54 AM | | There are those who give it up with out a second thought on both sides. Others are more discretionary...........that is what keeps these forums interesting. | |
|
Home
login 
