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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:10:46 PM | If so, I would really appreciate some advice!
I have been divorced for almost 7 years and received paperwork yesterday from the Catholic Diocese that my ex is asking for an anullment.
Now this didn't come as to big of a surprise since I have met his girlfriend a few times ....we still have a lot of the same friends and run into each other once in while. My ex and I are both Lutheran but she is a strict catholic and has never been married so I am assuming she wants to get married in her own church.
I am confused though on the whole process of this thing. The letter didn't really expalin to much other than my ex has asked "The matimonial Tribunal of the Diocese to consider whether or not our marriage ought to be declared null." It also says that "The declaration of nullity issued would mean that a former union cannot be considered valid and binding in accordance to church law and that no implication, criticism or blame will put on either party.
It also says that because I reside outside of the Diocese of their location that it necessary for them to obtain permission for the Judical Vicar of the Catholic diocese in which I live before they can conduct the investigation. It also says that "To make an informed decision, it is important for them to have information from the perspective of each of the parties and I have the right to participate actively in these proceedings and I have the right to be represented by a person trained in Church law and that more information will be following.
WHAT? lol...I feel like I am being arrested! I have the right to be represented??
So my question is....if anyone can enlighten me on this subject...
What happens if I refuse?
So I have to go to some kind of trial if I agree?
Are there certain grounds that he has to prove in order to anullment granted?
I will make it simple. He was an alcoholic and a gambler and that is why I left him but he is the one who ultimately filled for divorce. Will they grant him one for that?
Long story short.. he had said he had been sober for a year when we met. We had a long distance relationship and he never drank when I saw him. He even admitted to our pastor and marital counselor that it was very easy to hide it from me until we got married and where living together. He also said he didn't blame me for not being able to trust him or leaving him.
Don't get me wrong, we are still friends and he says he has been sober since they have been dating. I want him to be happy in life and we have no bitter feeling towards each other...well other than him leaving me with huge debt...Gotta love judges that split finances down the middle whether you incurred them or not. Oh well, lessons learned and it's over now.
I just don't understand this whole process, what I have to do, and if he is honest about what happend whether or not they will grant him one... | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:24:51 PM | I've personally not gone thru it, but my mum has, and one sister as well. In both cases, they were the ones requesting the annulment. I think it was fairly simple and painless, and it really just boiled down to paperwork having to be done by the catholic church, more or less.
You could call a local catholic church in your area and ask to speak with someone about it as you have questions. Especially if there are children involved - or heck - you could even call your church of faith and ask them. You can't be the first one of the congregation to go thru this.
No worries, and good riddance. He's her problem now. hahaha. | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:27:10 PM | I got those anullment papers too...some very personal questions ...I was uncomfortable just reading them and they also sent them out to my family and his family and we had a child does that make your child a **stard? Bet that word won't fly here ha!!...anyhoo to make a long boring story short... they got filled out. I then went outside tore them into tiny teeny little pieces and threw them up to God. I said "God if it is your will that my marriage should be anulled, then please piece this mess back together and hand deliver to the Pope!"
Anullments are not that easy to get...but I wish you all the best | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:28:41 PM | I always thought it was only necessary if both parties were Catholic and married in a Catholic church prior to the new marraige. With you and your Ex being Lutheran I do not see how it could possibly matter.
PS: There is also no law saying you have to do this at all. | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:39:43 PM | No worries, and good riddance. He's her problem now. hahaha/
I got those anullment papers too...some very personal questions
I know Indigo, that is what I am wondering about..they said that I would receive more information..do they mail that to you?? I am really not looking forward to this. I plan on being honest of course but do you know if he fills out the same questions? Do they compare it? If you didn't turn them in did they still grant it?
I always thought it was only necessary if both parties were Catholic and married in a Catholic church prior to the new marraige.
I thought so too Carolann, but I guess if they want to get married in her church (the catholic church) he has to do this. I don't really know.
Oh and I have no children..and thank you for the advice so far! | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:51:12 PM | The Church really gets into your sex life...yikes!
but it is a twelve step program...
1. Preparing the petition
2.Tribunal jurisdiction
3.Accepting the case
4.Contacting the Petitioner
5.Contacting the respondant
6.Contacting the witnesses
7.Reveiwing the testimony
8.Use of expert witnesses
9.Defender of the bond
10.Judges
11.Reveiwing the definitive sentence
and in my David Letterman voice NUMBER TWELVE
12.The appeal
Lots of bullpuckey to go through huh??? | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:53:32 PM | Having taught Catholic theology for 20 years, I might be able to help you. I left the Church when they refused to grant me an annulment from my last marriage. They said I stayed too long. Never mind that he was cheating. Things may have changed but this is as I recall it.
My first marriage was to a non-Catholic, the annulment was granted on Pauline Privilege which means since he did not believe in Christ, it was not a valid marriage in the Catholic Church. Those are easy. The others take longer.
In your case, it should be fairly cut and dried since your marriage was not a Catholic one. The hard annulments are the ones between Catholics made in the Catholic Church. Your marriage would be invalidated in the Catholic Church to clear the way for then to marry. If the marriage does not work out, he will find it harder to get an annulment the next go round. It does not mean your marriage was invalid in the church it was made in nor does it mean your children were born out of wedlock.
The formality is to complete paper work by the complaining party showing the reason for the request: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annulment gives some good info. After they get his info, they send you paperwork for your side of the story. There are usually forms sent to anyone who can witness the actions that support the annulment. Valid Civil reasons don't always equate to acceptable annulment reasons. Contact a local church or the Cancellor in your local area. He can better assist you. There is normally an advocate in each church. Don't be surprised if you don't get much support about disolving the marriage even if he has a new gal. In some areas, it cost money for the annulment. It should be assessed to him as the requesting party. It varies stated to state. Good luck and hang in there. Hope this helps a little.
Rose's outline is correct. | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:59:16 PM | ^^^ All I can say is WOW!^^^
Seems like the court divorce was much easier
I guess we are probably in stage two then.
When I looked on the internet for grounds for an anullment the only thing it mentioned was things like the not being able to have children and infidelity that is why I was wondering if he would even be granted one. Maybe there are other reasons and I just can't find them. I do plan on calling the Vicor in my area as soon as I have time but I figured someone else here has gone through this too at some point.
At the time that we were married I was able to have children and was able to up until a year ago due to cervical cancer so that isn't the issue and I never cheated so I wonder what grounds he is seeking one for. I asked him and he just said "be honest". Well of course I will be but I can't figure out on what grounds he will be granted one...unless he lies about something..and if he does...boy will I be mad! 
Thanks outofthedesert! I will check out those links! Oh, and he told me had witnesses...but his witnesses would say ANYTHING to support him. I really don't want him to say anything that is untrue and I do really want him to be happy. I have mixed emotions about this whole thing. I just want him to be honest with himself and everyone involved but I also want him to tell the truth especially if it is in the church. | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/18/2008 6:12:37 PM | Since the Catholic Church does not recognize divorce, the only way he can get married in the church is to have the marriage annulled.
You're already legally divorced. Not doing the annullment paperwork would simply mean that he could not get married in the Catholic Church; he can always go to the Justice of the Peace or to a Protestant church. And even if you do participate in the "investigation" the church may still refuse the annullment.
The Catholic Church is kind of strict about those things. I grew up Catholic and remember seeing more than one case where a couple who'd had a baby prior to being married had to get married at the side of the altar.
Here's some basic information on the grounds for a Catholic Church annullment.
http://www.idotaketwo.com/christian_remarriage.html
Q. What are the grounds for annulment in the Catholic Church?
Most annulments are based on canon 1095, psychological reasons. These include a wide range of factors. Some of them may be misrepresentation or fraud (concealing the truth about capacity or desire to have children for example, or about an preexisting marriage, drug addiction, felony convictions, sexual preference or having reached the age of consent)
Refusal or inability to consummate the marriage (inability or refusal to have sex) ,
Bigamy, incest (being married to someone else, or close relatives)
Duress (being forced or coerced into marriage against one's will or serious external pressure, for example a pregnancy)
Mental incapacity (considered unable to understand the nature and expectations of marriage)
Lack of knowledge or understanding of the full implications of marriage as a life-long commitment in faithfulness and love, with priority to spouse and children.
Psychological inability to live the marriage commitment as described above.
Illegal "Form of Marriage" (ceremony was not performed according to Catholic canon law)
One/both partners was under the influence of drugs, or addicted to a chemical substance.
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/18/2008 6:26:08 PM |
The hard annulments are the ones between Catholics made in the Catholic Church. Your marriage would be invalidated in the Catholic Church to clear the way for then to marry
Gee...I wonder if my ex hubby's new wife knows this? lol
And considering the grounds for annulment above...my ex wouldnt get one either.
since the Catholic Church does not recognize divorce, the only way he can get married in the church is to have the marriage annulled.
It seems contradictory IMO that they expect a marriage to annulled outside of their church yet dont by practise recognise it anyway. Weird. | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/18/2008 6:30:42 PM | ^^^ See this is where the "nice part' of me comes in lol....
I just don't want this girl to be denied of her dream, a wedding in the church where she has literally been a member for 25 yrs. She had never been married and this is her dream... I would feel bad if that happened. God, I am a sap sometimes lol.
I know they could still get married in a church even if it wasn't a catholic church He has friends that are Lutheran ministers and he was a Lutheran theology student himself and was an important part of the church.
Yes, this is the point that everyone says "What? and he was a gambler and an alcoholic Yes, he was also human too I guess. I don't know, I gave up along time ago trying to figure out that situation.
Anyhow, I don't want to deny her of anything, including her dream come true, but I am also not going to lie and I want him to be completly honest as well with himself and everyone involved.
I just don't know how or what to expect from any of this or what it involves. Thanks to everyone for the answers though! It has really helped to understand some of this and I appreciate it!
Refusal or inability to consummate the marriage (inability or refusal to have sex)
Hmm, well we all have days when you just aren't in the mood you know ! ;)
LOL...I wonder if that could be the reason hee heee
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/18/2008 7:21:49 PM | He may use the alcoholic issue and state he was drunk at the time or whatever. My ex had mental issues prior to marriage, but I was unaware of them. Had I known, I would have never married him. His mother was the only one who could attest to what she told me but she is dead and would have probably only witnessed for him.
Even though there are a list of things that can be used as the basis of the annulment, they also take the length of the marriage into account to determine validity. They told me "if it was so bad, why did you stay so long?" My reply "because everytime I approached someone in the church about the issues in my marriage, I was told I needed to stay, needed to keep the family together and now you punish me because I did!"
I felt my civil divorce was enough hell to go through, so I did not persue the appeal. My ex and I are civil and if I had tried to push it further, he would have gone off the deep end. | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/18/2008 7:37:42 PM | Do not even bother respoinding - that whole Catholic Church and their annullment process is a joke.
I knew people who tried it and were going to get denied, but once a hefty donation was make to the church, they were approved.
Ted Kennedy got one, and he and Joan were married for what 20 plus years and had how many kids, and they gave him one! So he could get married in the church again. Of course when he got divorced there was no anullment, not until he wanted to get married again, and the only way she would marry him, was in the church!
That made his kids **stards in the eyes of the church, the chuch did not care about his kids, they just wanted the money!
Until they get rid of all the pedophile priests, admit to that massive cover up, and pay the victims , for the damage done to them- instead of threatening bankruptcy, do not even bother with them.
With their track record, you do not have to answer to them period. | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/18/2008 10:46:40 PM | | I understand your desire to be fair to the new lady. But I'm at a loss as to why you feel obligated to partake in this. You ARE divorced are you not? Shred it and carry on with your life. Unless of course you still have feelings for the guy I wouldn't even be a party to the whole PROCESS! And I'm a Lutheran as well. But do what you feel you must. Be beholden .... | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/19/2008 2:54:13 AM | Too bad you can't ask TED KENNEDY... he had his marriage annuled after 20 some years and kids...
when I read that I thought.. wow !
his ex was so mad about it after 20 some years and kids... to have the marriage annuled, she wrote a nasty book about him.
( can't blame her)
go to a lawyer........... who will work with a priest and be sure to take lots of money with you.... with those 3 things, you will have no problem ! | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/19/2008 3:45:13 AM | That made his kids **stards in the eyes of the church, the chuch did not care about his kids, they just wanted the money!
Sir, you are very incorrect in that statement. It does not make the children such.
Annulment/Decree of Nullity
Marriage Is Indissoluble. The Church teaches, as does Jesus in Mt 19:9, that every Christian marriage is indissoluble except by the death of one of the spouses. No power on earth can dissolve a ratified and consummated union of two baptized Christians (one in which vows have been validly exchanged and which has been later consummated by intercourse).
A valid marriage requires the proper intention at the time that the vows are exchanged. The parties must intend to make a marriage, which by definition is a life-long communion open to new human life. These are called the unitive and procreative meanings of marriage. If either of the two meanings of marriage (an indissoluble union and procreation) are excluded by the will of either the man or the woman no marriage is made on the wedding day (canon 1096).
For example, someone who has no intention of being faithful cannot make a marriage since at the very time of exchanging vows he or she precludes the life-long fidelity that is intrinsic to marriage. This is often demonstrated right at the beginning, or shortly thereafter, by infidelity. Or, someone who intends to exclude the possibility of children does not validly marry. (Those who cannot have children due to age or infertility are NOT meant here, but only those who could bear children but intend to avoid this marital responsibility completely.)
It should be noted that if a valid marriage is made on the wedding day later infidelity or a contraceptive will would not invalidate it. It is only when the will of either party in making the marriage contradicts the Plan of God from the beginning of marriage that it is invalid. The Church accepts every marriage as valid until proven otherwise, however (canon 1060).
What a decree of Nullity Is. An annulment, properly called a Decree of Nullity, is a finding by a Church tribunal that ON THE DAY VOWS WERE EXCHANGED at least some essential element for a valid marriage was lacking, such as, one of the parties did not intend lifelong fidelity to the other person or excluded children entirely. Another example would be that one of the parties was incapable of marriage (due to some constitutional weakness, such as mental illness or some psychological condition that prevented making the marital commitment - gross immaturity, homosexuality, etc.).
None of these conditions are assumed they must be proven. A Decree of Nullity does NOT dissolve the marriage, it cannot. It is a reasoned judgement that one never existed, and as such is capable of human error. If the tribunal is fastidious to Church law and theology and the couple and their witnesses are honest, the decision can be followed in good-faith, including a new marriage. If someone is ABUSING the process through deceit, however, it would be a very grave sin for that person. A person who innocently enters a second marriage would not be guilty of sin, but the person who abused the process to fraudulently obtain a decree in order to remarry would commit adultery by remarrying.
An "annulment" does NOT concern whether the marriage was a happy one, whether one of the spouses LATER became unfaithful, or LATER decided not to have children, but only their INTENTION on the wedding day. If a marriage was made THAT day it is a life-long bond, irrespective of what happened later in the marriage. To "annul" a marriage based on "failure to achieve communion" or some other factor not recognized by the Holy See (as has been done) is not a decree of nullity at all but a divorce. Such decisions are a source of grave scandal in the Church and are both canonically and morally invalid.
The Tribunal Process. The process of obtaining a Decree of Nullity entails submitting the facts of the marriage, with supporting witnesses, to the diocesan marriage tribunal. Either party can do this. Then after a evaluation of these facts a judgment on the validity of the marriage is made. A second court, usually a neighboring diocese, must verify the judgment and it must be approved by one's bishop. Whatever decision is made, it may be appealed to the Roman Rota (the Holy See's court for matrimonial cases).
Since this is a voluntary process most dioceses have a fee to cover administrative costs. If this fee is a hardship an individual should ask that it be waived.
Marriage After a Decree. If a Decree of Nullity is given the couple are free to marry, unless the condition that led to the invalidity (e.g. lack of intention, mental illness, incapacitating immaturity) still exists. Then the person who has that condition is still incapable of marriage, but the other person may marry.
Internal Forum. Sometimes it is suggested to individuals or couples that they can resolve marital issues concerning a first marriage in the "internal forum." This means essentially in the confessional or in the privacy of their conscience. Someone who is divorced and remarried will be told that they do not have to seek a Decree of Nullity to validate the present marriage, rather being convinced in their own conscience that their first marriage was invalid they can return to the sacraments. This is not, however, the case. Marriage is not a private affair but a social institution, one safeguarded by the Church according to the will of Christ. The Holy See has ruled out the internal forum solution as a valid way of resolving marital validity questions. Such issues must be submitted to the Church's canonical processes (a marriage tribunal).
Do I Need and Annulment? JACQUELINE RAPP, JCL AND PETE VERE, JCL
Here are some of the common questions about marriage and annulments.
As a Judge and a Defender of the Bond within our respective dioceses' Catholic Marriage Tribunal, we encounter misunderstandings every day about the declaration of nullity (or annulment) process. Often, the people who come into our offices question the need for an annulment before approaching a new marriage. Their misunderstandings commonly arise from misconception as to what the Catholic Church teaches about marriage, and consequently, why the Catholic Church judges some relationships not to be marriages.
What is a Christian marriage according to the Catholic Church?
In the law of the Church, many ingredients make up a Christian marriage. First, marriage is a covenant. The New Catholic Encyclopedia provides the following insight about the word covenant: "The theology of the covenant in the Bible is consistently a theology of divine promise. Whether in a profane or a sacred sense, the sacred authors utilize the berit [Hebrew for "covenant"] to trace the line of salvation history toward its divinely willed goal." In short, the idea of covenant in the Bible is one of a strong pact between humans or between God and humans, in which each promises to assist the other towards a common goal.
In marriage, the covenant is between a man and a woman. The spouses establish this covenant through their marital consent, by which they intend to establish between themselves a partnership for the whole of life. This means each spouse will assist and support the other in all areas of their common life, the best he or she is able, so long as the other spouse is alive.
Marriage is permanent and exclusive (monogamous). The goal of this covenant, by its nature, is the mutual welfare of the spouses (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) as well as openness to the procreation, welfare, and education of children. The Church commonly refers to the good of the spouses and the good of children as the two elements of marriage. All genuine marriages, whether Christian or non-Christian, must contain these elements. Such a partnership is commonly referred to as a "natural marriage."
We base this understanding of natural marriage on the text of Genesis 2:18-25, which teaches that God's will has established all marriage. True marriage is heterosexual (between a man and a woman); it is monogamous (one man and one woman); it is exclusive (the two form a new and unique relationship; the two become one); and it is permanent (if the two become one, this new union cannot be divided; a conclusion Christ confirms in Matthew 19:3-12).
The purposes of marriage are also taught in Genesis. First, we read there how God told Adam and Eve to "be fruitful and multiply" (Gen 1:27-28). Thus marriage is about "fruitfulness," or bringing children into the world and raising them to maturity (procreation and education).
In addition, we read in Genesis 2:18-25 that God created all the animals and brought them before Adam to be named. But a "suitable partner" was not found for him among them. So God created the woman, and Adam responded: "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh" (v. 23).
This passage confirms what the Church teaches about marriage: that it involves the partners being suitable for each other through the sharing of strengths and weaknesses. When Adam says, "bone of my bone," he is saying "this one is strong where I am strong." And when he says, "flesh of my flesh," he is saying, "this one is weak where I am weak."
Thus canon law defines natural marriage this way: "The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its very nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of children" (Canon 1055, § 1).
When both the husband and the wife are baptized Christians, this natural marriage takes on the element of sacramentality. A marriage between baptized persons is a sacrament, a visible sign of God's love in the world. This means that the couple finds in their relationship a source of God's grace, and through their partnership they assist one another in coming closer to God.
By the very fact that both the husband and the wife are baptized, their marriage becomes a sacrament. It is not a matter of where the wedding takes place or who officiates at the ceremony. Whether marriage is a sacrament is completely based upon the baptismal status of the parties.
When does a marriage come into being?
Marriage comes into being through lawfully manifested consent — that is, there must be a taking of the other as spouse in a way recognizable to the community. When two people give themselves to one another in order to create a partnership of life and love (marriage), and they do so in a manner recognized by the community, they marry. For two unbaptized people, this can be in front of a justice of the peace in the middle of a field. For a baptized Christian, this can be wherever their faith community recognizes the marriage.
For Catholics, as a faith community, when at least one of the parties is Catholic, the Church requires the parties to express their desire to give themselves in marriage before a priest, deacon, or designated minister, with two witnesses. We call this the canonical form of marriage. If a Catholic desires to enter marriage with a non-Catholic, a dispensation (relaxation of the law) may be granted, allowing the parties to exchange their consent in another manner. Nevertheless, this kind of dispensation is the exception.
What is an annulment?
A Catholic annulment, also known as a declaration of nullity or invalidity, is a statement of fact by the Catholic Church. After carefully examining the couple's broken relationship, the Church states that a valid marriage, as the Church defines marriage, never existed. It is not "Catholic divorce," as some have called it, since divorce looks at the moment the relationship broke down and says, "A marriage existed, and now we are ending it." The annulment process says, on the other hand, "From the very beginning, something was lacking that was necessary for this relationship to be called a marriage."
Quite often, what is lacking at the time of the civil contract is one of the essential elements or properties of marriage we have noted. The mature consent of the spouses in undertaking the marriage covenant may also be lacking.
Of course, the Church recognizes the couple's initial love for one another. It also realizes that this love led to some form of relationship. In addition, the Church acknowledges that there was a valid civil contract and recognizes that the spouses were lawfully married in the eyes of the state. Therefore, all children born of this valid civil contract are legitimate, according to the Catholic Church. In keeping with canon 1137, they are known as the legitimate children of a "putative marriage."
All these civil and legal realities the Church recognizes. But the annulment process looks at an entirely different realm — the spiritual — which falls within the Catholic Church's domain of competence to judge.
Why is an annulment necessary?
The Church teaches that marriage is permanent. If a sacramental marriage is created, no human power can separate what God has joined together (see Mt 19:6). According to the Church, not even a civil government with the power to end the civil contract (which the state calls "marriage") can terminate a sacramental marriage.
For this reason, once two people stand in front of God and contract a marriage, if they enter into a marriage covenant as defined by the Catholic Church, this covenant cannot be dissolved so long as both parties remain alive. The marriage bond is in place until death. As a result, no new marriage covenant can be created with someone else.
Any person who has entered a genuine marriage remains bound to that spouse. The spiritual bonds of marriage, if formed, cannot be ended by civil divorce. In the eyes of the Church, divorce ends the various civil, financial, and legal bonds previously contracted between spouses, but not the spiritual bonds.
For this reason, the Catholic Church investigates, through the annulment process, whether an actual marriage, as defined by the Church, came into being. In carrying out this investigation, the Church examines various facts presented to the marriage tribunal by those seeking the annulment and their witnesses. If the Church then determines that no genuine marriage came into being, these individuals are free to marry someone else if that person is also free to marry.
Why do I need an annulment if I'm not Catholic?
If you're not Catholic, but plan to marry a Catholic, you might be asked to go through the annulment process. This seems odd to most non-Catholics because neither person from the first union is Catholic. Therefore, why should the Catholic Church investigate this marriage?
The Catholic Church presumes the validity of any marriage between two people who are free to marry at the time of their wedding. (They must have no previous marriages.) Basically, if the non-Catholic religious community of either spouse recognized the marriage, so does the Catholic Church. Since marriage, as God created it, is permanent, then the Catholic Church must also investigate these marriages. Because the non-Catholic wishes to marry a Catholic, the Church's law applies to the proposed marriage, since canon law still binds the Catholic whom the non-Catholic wishes to marry.
In short, the Catholic Church believes her teachings concerning the essence and the properties of marriage bind all people, regardless of whether they are Catholic, as part of God's natural law.
Are there options for working with previous marriages other than the annulment process?
Yes. For a person who was either Catholic or married to a Catholic, and did not marry according to the canonical form of marriage (in front of a Catholic priest or deacon with two witnesses), and if the Catholic Church's permission was not obtained for this marriage (called a "dispensation from canonical form"), then the Church could process this case as a "Lack of Form." The Church calls this an administrative process.
In this case, the individual must prove that one of the former spouses was Catholic, that the couple attempted marriage outside of the Catholic form without first obtaining the proper dispensation, and that the marriage is now irreparable. The individual must also establish that this marriage was never subsequently convalidated (commonly, and mistakenly, referred to as "blessed" by the Church.) Most marriage tribunals accept as sufficient proof of these circumstances the Catholic's baptismal record, a copy of the marriage license, and the couple's divorce decree. Nevertheless, depending upon particular circumstances, more evidence may be necessary.
For a person previously married to someone with a prior marriage, provided the Church had not dealt with the prior marriage, a documentary process exists. This is called ligamen, or prior bond. In most cases, one simply documents the prior marriage of the individual with whom one attempted marriage. The local tribunal advises the couple concerning what documents they require and guides them through the process.
If one of the spouses was not baptized during the first marriage, and the lack of baptism can be proven (provided the person applying for this process did not cause the marital breakdown), then a "Privilege of the Faith" case (or "Petrine Privilege" case) can be sent to the Holy See. If the Holy See approves, the non-sacramental marriage may then be dissolved in favor of a new marriage.
If neither of the spouses was baptized during their marriage, and now one of the spouses wishes to become baptized and marry a Catholic, provided one can prove the non-baptism of each former spouse, a Pauline Privilege is possible. In this situation, the diocesan bishop or his lawful representative, having established the non-baptized status of both parties, allows the non-sacramental partnership to be dissolved in favor of the new marriage. Of course, the spouse desiring baptism and the new marriage must first receive baptism.
A Basic Rule
If you are trying to determine whether you need an annulment, these explanations may be helpful. In any case, keep in mind one basic rule as you approach the process: If either you or your intended attempted a previous marriage, be sure to tell your priest. Before you attempt another marriage, the Church must address the previous marriage in some form or another, either by a documentary case, a privilege case, or a formal annulment process.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/marriage/mf0044.html
Jacqueline Rapp, JD, JCL and Pete Vere, JCL. "Do I Need and Annulment? " Envoy (November, 2003
Another article:
How To Obtain an Annulment Through The Catholic Church
From Cathy Meyer,
Your Guide to Divorce Support.
Many marriages are not successful even with the good intentions of both spouses. This can be true even when the family is well established and the marriage has last many years. Once a marriage is entered into by two people, Catholic, Protestant, or non – Christian, it is presumed to be a valid and binding union until the opposite can be proven.
The Catholic Church has established certain procedures that a couple must follow when petitioning for an annulment. Primarily, a civil court must divorce a couple before they can attain an annulment. Below are the steps one takes to have their previous marriage nullified.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: 16 months
Here's How:
Who can apply for an annulment.
Usually, a person seeking an annulment is someone who has been married, is now divorced and wishes to marry again, specifically in the Catholic Church. Anyone married in the Catholic Church and now divorced can request an annulment whether they are wishing to marry again or not.
Involvement of former spouse.
Yes, the Church requires that the former spouse be notified that the annulment process has begun and to offer him/her the opportunity to make a response. Your ex spouse will be sent a letter explaining the process that was initiated. Your ex spouse does not have to agree to the annulment. They also don’t have to agree to participate in the process.
Documents you will need.
Copies of the baptismal certificates of all Catholic parties involved.
Copy of the civil marriage license.
Copy of the church marriage certificate.
Copy of the divorce decree certified or signed by the Judge.
Submitting your case.
If the case begins on the Parish level, the priest, deacon, or pastoral associate will submit it to the tribunal. If you choose you can go straight to the tribunal and not begin at the Parish level.
Witnesses
You are asked to contact two or more people who are willingness to help with your case. They should be people who know something about the marriage in question, especially the period right before and right after the wedding. These people usually are friends or family members. You should tell all the witnesses that they have your permission to speak freely.
When to expect a decision.
After all the information is gathered, a judge or panel of judges will write the decision. They will decide whether or not the marriage was indeed invalid from the start. Another person who is known as the Defender of the Bond also participates. The Defender of the Bond represents the marriage itself, speaking in favor of all the facts that support the validity of the marriage. After the judge reaches a decision, both you and your ex spouse will be notified of the decision, unless the former spouse does not wish to be notified.
How much time it takes.
There is no way to put a time line on the process. However, it normally takes approximately 16 months. The period for a declaration of nullity depends on many factors. For instance, if the petitioner does not complete the necessary document gathering in a timely fashion, the annulment is delayed.
How much it will cost.
The cost can vary from church to church. The average cost is around $500 with a portion due at the time the case is submitted. The rest can be paid in monthly installments. If you cannot pay the full amount, arrangements can be made, through the church to defray some of the expense. No case is turned down due to a person's inability to pay the fee. Some churchs don't charge.
I hope this clears up any misunderstandings regarding information presented by common misconception and the uninformed.
Until they get rid of all the pedophile priests, admit to that massive cover up, and pay the victims , for the damage done to them- instead of threatening bankruptcy, do not even bother with them.
With their track record, you do not have to answer to them period. As far as that tacky remark, yes there are problems, but all churchs have them. There was a protestant youth camp that was closed because the protestant preacher in charge was messing with the young boys. There was also a case where a protestant minister was sleeping with the female piano player--husband used it as grounds for divorce. It also happened in the Senate of the United States with Senators and pages. It is not just a religious thing. There have also been a number of the "victims" who later recanted the story and said they were just in it for the money. I don't disregard that it has happened, but be realistic, the number of cases in comparison to the number of priests who do a good job, who are kind and chaste, is quite small. I agree that it should not be covered up, I agree that it should never have happened, but I think you will agree, we do not live in a perfect world. If it was, none of us would be here because the person we married would have loved us forever. | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/19/2008 3:58:59 AM |
^^^ See this is where the "nice part' of me comes in lol....
I just don't want this girl to be denied of her dream, a wedding in the church where she has literally been a member for 25 yrs. She had never been married and this is her dream... I would feel bad if that happened. God, I am a sap sometimes lol.
Actually always...I think its rather a beautiful thought. | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/19/2008 4:55:12 AM |
A valid marriage requires the proper intention at the time that the vows are exchanged.
That's the loophole. A friend's ex wanted to remarry in the Catholic Church, so he petitioned for anullment. The wife had been a model wife for 32 years, and they had 2 children. He was an adulterous abuser, but since he filed the papers and paid the fee, they found that she entered the marriage without the "proper intention" and gave him the anullment on those grounds. She was devastated and left the Church. | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/19/2008 5:20:02 AM | Went through an anullment myself with my first marriage,He did not fill out the paper work he was sent..they still granted me the anullment. My church incouraged me to do this after my son was born and I wanted to have him baptized-(second marriage) The paperwork was out of the world, they wanted to know everything from my first sexual experince to present and everything about my brothers sisters,parnets,ect ect. I did it with the intent to get remarried in the church..and after the anullment was granted and the church asked for the 500.00 donation as they called it..My husband was so pissed off he refused to marry in the church..Now divorced for the second time I think it was Gods was of saving me....I recently met someone else and will be able to marry in the church.
I say forget the papers..whether you fill them out or not..it will reley more on what he has to say and if there is anyone on the tribal committee pushing for him.
Good Luck | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/19/2008 6:25:34 AM | | My ex-wife is very catholic, so far she hasn't asked for a church annulment. We had two children together. From time to time I've wondered if an annulment through the church was in my future. Since I don't care, I hope if she does ask, the paper work is not overwhelming, I don't have a problem with doing it, its just that I think that it is such a farce I won't spent much time doing it. | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/19/2008 6:28:26 AM | Been there done that.
I got those papers in the mail and laughed so hard I cried.
I then called the church and told them that if they could rationalize away 18 years in the same bed, same house and with 3 children into not being considered being married than by all means go ahead. But leave me the ---ck out of it!
Never heard from them again. They married in Catholic Church. Hope they are happy. | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/19/2008 7:39:29 AM | My experience with Catholic church annullment - my exh's then gf wanted to get married in the church (she's Italian Catholic, he's UCC). The church refused (despite them already having two children together) to marry them unless he got an annullment. He found this to be HIGHLY hypocritical of the church, since we have a son born IN wedlock from our marriage.
They told him that all he needed to do was submit a "donation" of $250 and they'd annull our marriage. He thought about it and told them to stuff it up their hypocritical @$$es. He and his gf had another child and got married by a JoP. :) | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/19/2008 7:56:08 AM | OP, you seem extremely thoughtful and a very nice person. However, these kinds of issues are exactly why I don't date Catholics. Some of their practices are just not Biblical. There is nothing Biblical about an annulment. The Bible gives very little "out" as far as divorce goes. For everyone else, it is a mistake but it is forgiven. That is all you need! You don't need the church to determine how (or if) you will be forgiven. God says you can come directly to Him and ask and it will be given. The Catholic church wants you to go through them. If they accept that then it is their business and they need to figure out how to deal with it. You don't owe it to her and you don't deserve to be put through any more because of a man who obviously didn't take marriage seriously enough to be a good husband. She is entering this marriage knowing his past. She must accept what that means. The wedding isn't the important thing. Too many women focus on their "dream wedding" and forget about the man she's marrying. If the man she's marrying means she can't marry in the Catholic church, then she needs to accept that or think really long and hard about her intentions. A wedding is one day; a marriage is the rest of your life!
I am also Lutheran. I wouldn't do it. It is their issue; let them decide but you shouldn't have to be involved.
I didn't read that really long post all the way but it looks very informative. Maybe that will help you make your decision. | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/19/2008 8:03:25 AM | MSG 16 -
The church that was going to annul the marriage between my exh & I told him that our sone would not be recognized as a "legitimate" child (born of marriage) once the annullment went through - therefore, he would not be eligible to be a member of the church, to be married in the church, etc. In the Catholic church's eyes, he would be an illegitimate child, not one born of marriage.
Not disputing your information, just telling you what they told him. | |
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| Has anyone gone through an anullment in the catholic church?
Posted: 2/19/2008 9:26:44 AM | | Not a problem. I was, note WAS, a life long Catholic, while I hold the Church dear, my ex had a live in and I could not get an annulment. I chose to walk away. I am in a protestant church and very happy. I can certainly understand those who choose not to date Catholics because of the paperwork. Their intent is to insure all marriages are valid on the date it happens. We all know when we stood there and made those vows, divorce was the furtherest thing from our minds. We also know that people change, circumstances change. The marriage occasionally break down. Fact. We can't change that.. Scripture says we should only have one spouse. It also says it was not meant for us to be alone. How do you justify both when one walks away. God knows I never wanted my marriage to fail. I just made a bad choice. I had starts in my eyes at that young age. I am human. If God turns his back on me for the "sin" of divorce and remarriage, then He is not the loving God I believe Him to be. It makes no sense to believe He will forgive a murderer and not a divorce person who remarries. I think He is greater than the Church sometimes give Him credit for. | |
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