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| Misleading profiles, and people. Reasons?
Posted: 2/19/2008 2:19:35 PM | Many people speak of this, and many have a conclusion to there misled experience.
But are they right? Odds are no. There likely pin it on whatever they usually are not liked for. Or what ever they see in it. But there are so many people with different reasons for misleading.
Let me go into people looking for a long term partner.
He or she could be pretending to be looking for a LTR while having something else in mind. Maybe they just like to go out on dates for fun or so the local people in town think they are popular or wanted by many. Being seen with guys makes that woman more attractive too. Or visa versa.
They could be looking only for sex. and always find some reason why the person wasn't right for them.
If you go out on a date for a LTR chance, and it doesn't work, then it could be a number of things she doesn't want to say, so she says another reason, as not to offend you. I am using she, because I am a guy. It happens both ways. I know this ladies.
Reasons:
Not enough money.
Not enough of a challenge.
Not enough money.
Just don't click.
Sex not good enough.
Too open for some people. Not enough mystery.
Wasn't what you appeared in profile/pic. And they know it is off soon as you meet.
Just doesn't feel right.
Your size or shape is unappealing to them.
You showed a side to you that worried her.
So spent too much time talking about your ex and why things didn't work out. And it also made you look like a complainer.
You weren't a good listener.
You moved too fast.
You appeared too needy.
Maybe they just wanted sex and not a LTR and it is safer to screw a LTR seeker than a swinger.
You didn't appear to be enjoying yourself enough for being nervous and they thought they just didn't excite you, and want that to be in their next LTR.
AND I COULD GO ON AND ON! BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT FROM ONE ANOTHER FOR ONE.
But people will determine, "I must be too fat" Or too small chested" etc...
When it is more likely it is your own hang-up about yourself that you tend to see as the reason. People always try and determine why. And many come to a conclusion and stick to it. When there is no real way to know. So why be hung up on it. Be yourself. And in time, the right person will come. If you are not yourself on these dates and want a LTR, then sooner or later if you catch a fish, they will see your true self and leave. And then you will have had time to get attached and will be hurt.
This is one reason, why I do not pretend to be who I am not!
I want someone to like me for who I am. I can't pretend for ever anyways.
And if I get rejected, I may guess why. But I never say I KNOW why. I just move on. A little wiser I hope.
Tony | |
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| Misleading profiles, and people. Reasons?
Posted: 2/19/2008 2:29:39 PM | | Fair enough Tony, but don't go moaning about the fact that you're not everybody's cup of tea. When it comes to dating, we either are attracted, or we aren't (for whatever reason) and no amount of guilt tripping on people is going to change it. Would you want to settle for just any old woman? If you would, then you can't think much of yourself. | |
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| Misleading profiles, and people. Reasons?
Posted: 2/19/2008 3:17:39 PM | I think you missed my intent here. I was simply making a few points for discussion. And opening up a realm of possibilities for people to ponder over. Instead of the same few that they may dwell on. Everyone sees things different. and what one person misses, another sees. Or has experienced.
So I had hopes also of people adding some of their reasons. This would then turn into an interesting thread in the area of dating.
As for moaning about not being everybody's cup of tea? No one is everyones cup of tea.
I am only looking for the one that suits me and I suit her.
I am not perfect in any sense of the word. This was not a post to vent or anything like that.
We have all been misled. And many hurt inside thinking so much about that one or two things they feel is why men or women reject them. When the truth may lie somewhere else.
And the main point is "don't be down on yourself, there are many reasons and personal tastes out there. Do not beat yourself up over it. Besides, you may be down about something when it is not even that being the issue. " Maybe I should have stated that first off.
I hadn't partook in forums in a long time. I forgot that one gets more negative and rebuttles than positive and supporting. Overall that is. And so I didn't load it up with, please don't take it this way or that, and I am only saying for this reason etc...
Come on ladies. Go easy on me.  | |
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| Misleading profiles, and people. Reasons?
Posted: 2/21/2008 8:03:58 AM | | Oh behave sparktender, you're a grown man, and you can take a bit of honesty. You were trying to state that people may miss out on chances because they are too picky. They may miss out on chances, but think of all the no-hopers they exclude from their lives through doing it. Life is too short to waste it with the wrong person, and as far as being honest is concerned, that's a virtue I appreciate more than any other, but it doesn't mean that I find every person attractive just because they are honest, and neither does the rest of the population. Attraction or the opposite are something that we can't change, and neither should we have to, that is what I was saying. | |
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| Misleading profiles, and people. Reasons?
Posted: 3/9/2008 2:26:51 PM | First off let me say that you misunderstood my first post, then I tried to put it clearer. Then you post again telling me what I was trying to say. Something very much unlike what I said. Putting words in peoples mouth and not listening, and being an ass is probably why you are single. You just like to contradict and dictate what people say. as the old saying goes "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."
But now that you have, let me have a turn.
You are a stupid woman who thinks she knows it all. Even what I was trying to say but didn't?
Face the facts. You are a rude, and trouble making idiot. No one here really wants this bull. However, a few will likely get a kick out of me telling you my thoughts about your small brain, in your swollen head. Wake up and die right woman. If you have only stupid stuff to add to posts, then it might be better just to clam up.
Thanks. | |
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| Misleading profiles, and people. Reasons?
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:12:52 PM | i have been on here for a while now,,,yes men get on here and they do try to find the perfect little women sorry guys god didnt make her and god ddint make perfect men,i sick of this site i am honest good person and i hate people that lie about stuff on here turns my damn stomach,men u know who to hell u are so dont go what i never wanted aperect women bullshitm i just want goodness n lairs or**** lets i wanted a friend thats all yess i am pissed sorry for that i think u have to be a size 1 than men will look i dont see any men a size 2 on here    | |
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| Misleading profiles, and people. Reasons?
Posted: 5/13/2008 12:55:21 PM | I love fat women who are pretty. Occasionally I like ugly women with smokin bodies BUT, when someone describes themselves with no picture you are sure to get BS! Furthermore I have also met women whose photos were 5 years old and have since put on an extra 200 pounds. I shit you people not! Just because I'm honest about myself everyone thinks I'm abrasive. I haven't had a single lead on a real woman yet in MAINE and it has been a year. I am starting to wonder how people procreate around here, much less get off.
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| Misleading profiles, and people. Reasons?
Posted: 5/19/2008 6:00:11 PM | Hi ,
I just had to reply to the guy who likes cute larger woman. Where you been?? LOL
There are real people looking for real relationships on here but unfortunately most people have not refined the art of communicating and cannot express there real interests, desires, hopes and dreams. It isn't the same world out there it used to be when we all just hung out at the local soda shop and got to know each other. The world is such a complicated place now. These dating sites are only for the tough cookies out there. There is a lot of deceit and insecurity out here........Let's all get real and open our hearts and minds to people who may be wonderful on the inside if a little rough on the outside.
Bonnie | |
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| Misleading profiles, and people. Reasons?
Posted: 5/23/2008 10:11:38 AM | One of the most popular reasons for misleading advertising is to sell something. It works too, no matter what you're selling, you got a better chance of success if you 'dress' it up pretty.
So, misleading profiles on POF are just the same. People want to meet(sell themselves to) other people. We all hope to attract the right one for each of us so we try to put our best foot forward. What if we don't have a best foot? We paint the one we have pretty and stick it out there anyway. I think we hope that whomever we meet will like us anyway, and forgive the little white lies we tell-------HA! Not going to happen! If you tell me you're 6 feet tall and you're 5 feet tall, you better get ready to be stretched! LOL.
In my case, there's not much I can do about my appearance, I"m plain as a post fence, but I have a few other things going for me, honesty, good humor and patience are good qualities to have, and I'm a good soul besides. | |
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| Misleading profiles, and people. Reasons?
Posted: 9/8/2008 6:14:49 PM | "When it comes to dating, we either are attracted, or we aren't (for whatever reason) "
I believe you are right about that one ,
I believe we all have one right person for us, but sometimes we can get cott up in are lives , the right person for us can be right next to us and we miss them , when they are in are lives and we move on ,with out knowing they where the one for us,because we did not know they where the one , we keep looking for the one for us , and we may never get them back in are lives , but we can find the next best one for us ,but we will have to work to make it work for ther both of us????!!!!
I hope you get what I am trying to say here? | |
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| Misleading profiles, and people. Reasons?
Posted: 11/1/2008 7:50:58 PM | | we need to be attracted to there looks and attracted to how they act, if both are not there it will not work out most of the time with out alot of work and then you have to work at it to make it last, so please post your picture that is less then 6 months old and tell them how you truly feel or when you meet tell then the true you .both men and women too,thanks JC | |
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| Misleading profiles, and people. Reasons?
Posted: 11/11/2008 5:35:03 PM | My Two Cents
by Tenatiouslyd
In the famous words of a fellow co-worker...."you're gonna get that."
Lets see, some reasons for misleading profiles or people...hmm...someone just wants to be loved.
I guess we're all looking for similar things in each other, sometimes being misleading is unintentional, sometimes its intentional. We all want to show things positive about ourselves, who would show something negative?
Being misleading may also fall on the grounds of being pre-judgemental to ones self. I've been. For example....I couldn't drive for a period of *three years*. Thats a tough pill to swallow, but hey, you swallow it and learn. What was tough for me was letting that little nugget of information out of the bag. I had to, it was the other party's right to know......*However*...that information did not go into my profile or anything. Was I misleading, I dont think so, but I can see where that could get interpreted as such.
I think most people are understanding. Given the factoid posted by another POF member that an individual had put on some weight, thats a tough pill to swallow. But you know...you're gonna get that.
If you find yourself in the situation where "It's a Trap!" (StarWars: The Empire Strikes Back. Akbar, Admiral. LucasFilms Ltd, 1980) then make the most of it, have a good time, enjoy yourself....because you never know....and knowing is half the battle---G.I.Joe!!!
Happy  ing everyone | |
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| Misleading profiles, and people. Reasons?
Posted: 11/14/2008 4:47:18 PM | it is so true you are or are not attracted to someone ,if you are there is chance it could work out ,but you need the emotional part to.to make it work ,then you have to work at it to .we all charge in time .we have to work at it to make it work over time.
You need both Physical and Emotional and that does not mean you have to be a 10 it mean you both have like what you look like before you can go on from there! | |
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| Misleading profiles, and people. Reasons?
Posted: 12/9/2008 7:55:30 AM | First things first- I am not an expert here but I did study a few things in college- as for human attraction: we all have a biological roadmap within our DNA that tells us what to look for to some degree in the opposite sex. This roadmap so to speak changes as we age in most cases because as we age we no longer look to have children as much and then not at all.
So if a person is not attracted to overweight people then its just the way it is and does not make a person shallow or mean. Now as for the Gay side of that coin I have no clue as it was never brought up in the classes I took. Now to address the deceit : I believe a lot of folks see things in themselves that others may not and vice verse. For me when I was a teen I seen myself as a geek, nerd, scared of my own shadow, lack of confidence & self esteem. Yet my child hood friends that I still associate with totally thought different of me then.
They seen me as brave and always finding ways to get what ever I wanted or needed,
very resourceful, tough, and yet kind to the outer limits. Nothing I seen in myself.
I also believe every relationship changes us either for the better cause we learn or for the worst cause we didn't learn from them. So baggage can either be good or it can be bad.
Please elaborate if you agree or disagree. Mark | |
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