| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 6:16:14 PM | Can someone explain to me, why would men over 50 who already have children would like to have more children? It realy puzzled me... don't you know (they know) that this is a 20 year contract and more than likely will be dead before their child reach the age of maturity. And how much can you really contribute to the child at that age when they are going through a life change themselves?
Just curious!
Candy | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 6:19:31 PM | | They are nuts {crazy or they might have other "Reasons""""which is not pretty so run from them either way I would not chance it. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 6:19:33 PM | | I don't know why anyone wants kids. But if a 50 yr old wants them, great. Beats some young 20 yr old fathering them, when they are little more than kids themselves. Kids raising kids. Nice. And we wonder why kids are so screwed up. | |
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Guess
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Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 4 | |
| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 6:23:26 PM | | they want children because they want a younger woman and that the package will increase their bad ego,just an image almost like having a sportcar or something... | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 6:26:17 PM | Msg 1,
Men in their 50's wanting to make babies with women in their 20's ... what's wrong with that? | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 6:29:36 PM | | I don't think there is anything wrong with that, if they never had children themselves but what are they searching for when they already have kids? Younger women as Guess said; is that it? | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 6:31:56 PM | Msg 7,
When does a hunter stop being a hunter?
When does a gatherer stop being a gatherer?
Hunting, gathering, that's what men do.
When should a man stop being a man? | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 6:36:04 PM | Thanks for your input ambitious slacker,
If women are smart enough to stop after 2 or 3 why would men continue to do it?
Having babies does not make a man, a man, you can be a man without it. That's why i am searching, trying to understand.
and Harry Peter, sorry i took you for a lady... hair is too long... lol | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 6:36:36 PM | | I have had the same thought when reading profiles....what are they thinking? Which kids will win out and which ones will loose? To me it tells me alot about the man and his emotional instability. Then I wonder how many can still use it to have babies with???? now thats a whole nother thread,,,,,,, | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 6:47:57 PM | | Sorry but i think its crazy, Most of them end up with little ones in their second marriage, with their much younger " now they are divorced" wives, They are now left out on the stoops, now the dating world becomes harder, because there are little ones to worry about, Visitations, babysitters, no time for dating a new gal, Ive run across these men and im baffled myself!! What were they thinking? I cant imagine myself starting over at this age! Personally, i love my kids, they are older and im ready to have fun with a new love interest! | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 6:54:40 PM |
When should a man stop being a man?
^^^^^^^^^I don't think being a man is an issue here.
Answerin the OP's question......Iam 41 and i have two children that iam going to watch and grow into adulthood.....no sorry....I cannot be a father again at 50.
Fathering and raising children at 50 will be not an easy task.....but I cannot judge someone elses decision when and how in regards to fathering and raising children. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 6:54:57 PM | I have a feeling it might be related to the limited options we have under this heading in our profiles. I'm a 50+ woman and I have no intention of having any more babies, but it's reasonable to assume that any man my age is going to have children (presumably adult or close to it) that are part of his family. In that case, I don't have any objections.
I did run across a man who was in his mid-50's with a young (8 year old) son and that's a deal breaker for me. My children are raised and leaving or have left the nest and I'm looking forward to reclaiming my adult life, not helping someone raise their youngster. Some might consider that selfish, but to me it's no different than people on here who are avid skiers or roller-bladers. They want someone to share that activity and have every right to that. It won't be me, but that's ok. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 7:04:14 PM | That old saying it is never too late .... well not entirely true. Both men and women can become too old to have children.
A man having a child at 50? When his child is 15 ( teenager) he will be 65.
A man having a child at 45? When his child is 15( teenager) he will be 60.
A man having a child at 40? When his child is 15( teenager) he will be 55.
That is about the upper limit is it not?
I personally believe the ideal is around 30- 35. Mature enough to have a family but young enough to still run after them.
Just my opinion is all.
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 7:08:52 PM |
Hunting, gathering, that's what men do.
Men hunt game for food and keep wives to themselves only so that they know that any child they have to rear is their own. They are not the gatherers.
Women are the gatherers and prefer men who are faithful because they need to know if they have a child that he will be there to provide until the child is independent and self-supporting.
Men over 50 who still want child-bearing women are, in my opinion, lacking in evolutionary development because hunter/gatherer worked when parents didn't live all that long after the kids were born and raised and gone out on their own. Generations lived together. Nowadays seniors continue on to new lives post- child rearing. If the man is stuck in child rearing than he misses out on all the fun of the senior phase of life today. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 7:25:51 PM | | My dad was only 2 years shy of the "Big 5-0" when my little sister was born. (As a plan, not an "oops.") Of course in his case, it had nothing to do with getting a "newer model," since he and my mom have been together for 27 years (18 then.) I guess my point is that men (and women) all have different motivations for having children at certain points in their lives. Or they might just think that since women like babies, women must like men who want babies. LOL | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 7:28:08 PM | I want a family...
I have children who are over 20 - but that doesnt mean we were ever a "family" - I talk with them and we have a good relationship - but I want a family.
I was young and ...perhaps stupid - considerably less mature 20 odd years ago..
when I talk or are interested in women of a similar age to me now, or a bit younger than I , I get either they do not want a family, or have done that and are not interested, or have sooo much baggage associated with men and relationships...
Younger women tend to want a family - want to have a real relationship, want to invest time, and carry a lot less baggage /prejudice when coming into a relationship...
Older guys make such better parents - weve learned through life experience, have the patience and take the time, less aggresive, more caring and loving and apprciative of what magic life is and how lucky/amazing it is to have a family...
We've made a lot of mistakes and are more empathetic, and willing to compromise...hell - a much better parent than some twentysomething that stuck it in you and says "yeah I can be a dad!"
Look at the world about us - and see that a man who is loving and caring and supportive and leaves his children with a sense of wellbeing, confidence and love, respect for themselves, - it doesnt matter how old or young you are when you die - if you leave your children with these things - it is a gift and youve passed on the best of yourself...that and love, love and more kisses and hugs and love and caring - there is no age limit on that is there? | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 7:36:17 PM | Just a thought which has occurred to me being on line... when men say "unsure" or "possibly"
regarding wanting children on dating site profiles, I have the feeling some of them do NOT want to eliminate the younger woman as a prospective dates so by saying that they are not discarded by the 25 to 40 demographic...
I am not saying some may really want children, but I find it to be impractical...personally
bizarre.. but to each his own. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 7:40:42 PM | Karl, have you really thought about the children in all this... Nice thinking but would you really have time for it? Are you really going to be able to be a much better parent?
My girlfirend was born out of an older realtionship and she never got to know her father as he was not there to participate in her activities. So are you fooling yourself byt thinking that you will be superman and not aged?
Are men doing this selfishly or do they really think it through and care about the future of their children?
Candy | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 7:46:29 PM | In some societies...
You don't get married until you have accumulated the wealth to be able to afford to raise them. That often means... not until the man is in his 40's or older.
There's something to be said for that...
Older men marrying young women and having kids has been seen as pretty much normal until relatively recently.
Yonger women often see an older man as someone who can provide them with security... Since security is one of the major things that attracts a woman to a man, we will see younger women with older men until someone redesigns the human genome. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 7:55:52 PM | Actually, I don't see a problem with it. I mean, have they SPECIFICALLY said they were looking for a 20 yr old brood mare? No?
Some men love the feel of a child being in a house. The smell of the baby powder. The 2am feedings. The teaching of tying the shoes, the playing catch, the first skinned knee... Just as some women do.
If he's a responsible, mature adult, I'd much rather see a 50 yr old man have a child than to see a flakey 20 yr old do it.
But if it's his profile choices you're questioning, maybe it just means that he wouldn't pass by a woman with young (ish) children. Finding someone to love you for you tends to get a little more difficult as the years go by. We all have (or will) experienced it. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 8:30:56 PM |
when men say "unsure" or "possibly"
regarding wanting children on dating site profiles, I have the feeling some of them do NOT want to eliminate the younger woman as a prospective dates
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DonQ
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Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 24 | |
| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 8:37:41 PM | why in the world would ANY man in his right mind want to start having children at 50? Hell, even 40! I took myself out of the gene pool many many years ago so that wouldn't happen even by accident. I did the whole babies/diapers/2AM feedings thing when I was young. There's no way I'd be able to get these old bones out of a nice warm bed at 2am to change a diaper or feed a baby.
Also think abou tthe kids. Would you really want thier friends to think you're thier grandfather? | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 10:07:12 PM | Why not?
This is the 21st century after all.
Life expectancies being what they are, 50 ain't 'Old'. Fathering (or mothering for that matter...current reproductive limits aside) , at, say, 70 might raise some eyebrows-- though hardly unprecedented -- but again, why not? It could be (re)invigorating! Might not be a bad thing for the brood either. Parenting is not about being able to play touch football in one's Golden Years. And how many 30-something Hockey/Soccer Dads/Moms actually play the games anyways, nevermind with their children? Too busy establishing Careers... | |
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