| What should I do if my bf thinks us breaking up is the best thing
Posted: 2/22/2008 11:50:59 AM | | I have been with this guy for one year. We have been though a lot and I love him with all my heart. He has left me and taken off on me and Cheated on me a few times. We have been together for 6 months and have just moved into a new apartment. He is dealing with all his problems and He tried of hurting people he cares about and me. He says he lost what he has felt for me when we first got together, I honestly don't feel this is the right thing for us. If people on here could give me some advice for it I would greatly appicate thank you and hope you all have a nice day. | |
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| What should I do if my bf thinks us breaking up is the best thing
Posted: 2/22/2008 11:55:22 AM | Dump him and do yourself and him a big favor. You are a good and beautiful person who deserves to be loved and treated the way you want to be. Would you continue to try to wear a pair of pants or skirt that no longer fits? No, it would be embarrassing and painful. There are more fitting clothes out there that you can look good in. Just like this guy, he is a piece of work, and he is shopping around, apparently. Let him go so that he can find his happiness. If you love him, you want him to be happy. That is okay. If he wants you, let him show it.
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| What should I do if my bf thinks us breaking up is the best thing
Posted: 2/22/2008 11:58:23 AM | One way relationship..he is sticking around but not sure why?
The old adage "set him free.." he only comes back for convenience sake..it's a dysfunctional relationship....
We can all say...dump him...go on...but it's hard when your emotionally involved.
You have to DETACH from him first...it will be hard but emotionally detach..don't be intimate with him anymore..it will take time. Good luck | |
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| What should I do if my bf thinks us breaking up is the best thing
Posted: 2/22/2008 12:01:12 PM | | Why be emotionally involved with him? You are apparently only emotionally involved with yourself, creating a scenerio that is not based on a mutual love and respect for one another. So DUMP him, gone, goodbye, finito, finished, Adious Amigo, and go out and have fun. NOW! | |
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| What should I do if my bf thinks us breaking up is the best thing
Posted: 2/22/2008 12:04:15 PM | I'd say he lost what he felt for you when he was sleeping with other women....
You can't force someone to love you even if you love them with all your heart. If you love him enough you need to let him go.
There is a great book called Light his fire by Ellen Kreidman... You can read that and it may give you a different way to communicate with him.... | |
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| What should I do if my bf thinks us breaking up is the best thing
Posted: 2/22/2008 12:05:33 PM | I can hear the pain you are experiencing....it is a difficult situation to be in...but for your own sake, this relationship needs to end.
He has shown you in a number of ways, verbally, leaving you, cheating on you, that he is done with the relationship.
If I can make a further suggestion.....take some time to be good to yourself after he is gone...take a course, take a trip...something that is just for you...during that time, be very self-relective and make some decisions about what you want in a mate...then look for him. I am sure that when you make this list of what you are looking for, cheating will not be on it...
My very best wishes for your future (and impending) success! | |
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| What should I do if my bf thinks us breaking up is the best thing
Posted: 2/22/2008 12:06:21 PM | hunny if he treats you poorly he isnt the one, i can say i know exactly how you feel i've been through the same thing, i was with my ex for a year and several months, in the beginning it was all good, but then he changed, he as i now understand isnt as mentally or emotionally mature, he likes to believe he is so self righteous though but he is selfish and manipulative and someone that is supposed to care about you would never hurt you, my advice is to seriously think about your relationship, it obviously isnt the same anymore, things have changed, circumstances have changed, and he isnt the person you fell in love with anymore remember that key fact. Despite how much you want it to work or how much you love him, he will not change unless he wants to, and if he doesnt appreciate you now then why struggle and wait for him to change his mind, because hunny what if he doesnt and you just end up getting hurt i say tell him that you'll be his friend you will be there if he needs you but that you dont need to deal with his drama, he has stuff he needs to sort out and that maybe, maybe if he works it out then you can try agian but dont hold out a hope for one guy, while there may be any number of others out there willing and waiting for the chance to date you and show you that they will treat you better.
i hope this helps | |
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| What should I do if my bf thinks us breaking up is the best thing
Posted: 2/22/2008 12:10:00 PM | | Even if he said "I still love you", his action have said otherwise. Here, he's explicitly saying he doesn't feel anything for you, therefore he cheated on you, multiple times. He's obviously trying to drive you away. He already ended the relationship in his mind a long time ago and was too much of a coward to be upfront with you. You deserve someone who actually wants it as much as you. Move on. | |
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| What should I do if my bf thinks us breaking up is the best thing
Posted: 2/22/2008 12:15:22 PM | You cannot make people care about you. If he no longer feels anything for you, you need to accept that he is not the right man for you. If the situation is merely him getting his act together, he knows where you are and you can decide if he ever shows up, whether the new and improved him is worth giving it another shot.
You need to accept that the relationship is over and move on with your life, focusing on the fact that you deserve more than a man that will leave you and cheat on you repeatedly. Why do you want someone like this in your life regardless of how he feels? | |
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| What should I do if my bf thinks us breaking up is the best thing
Posted: 2/22/2008 1:05:10 PM | If he doesn't want to be with you there is nothing you can do except hurt yourself more trying to hang on to him.
Let him go and work on you. Make a list of qualities you want and need in a partner and then honestly compare the list to this guy. I bet he doesn't match up with what you want and need in a partner.
Tuck the list away and when you feel like you need him take it out and go over it again.
If he is honestly stepping away to work on himself let him do it by himself, you can't help him do it.
Everyone should have a partner who respects them and is honest with them and it doesn't seem like he was that guy for you.
I know your hurting but time completely away from him (no contact) will do you a world of good in the long run. | |
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| What should I do if my bf thinks us breaking up is the best thing
Posted: 2/22/2008 1:13:18 PM |
He has left me and taken off on me and Cheated on me a few times.
Oh yeah, sounds like a keeper.
I have been with this guy for one year....We have been together for 6 months and have just moved into a new apartment.
Sounds like a time warp there...into the past by 6 months? Waaaay to soon to be moving in with a guy who's just gonna take off/cheat...and you know they never do it "just once".
Let him go. | |
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| What should I do if my bf thinks us breaking up is the best thing
Posted: 2/22/2008 1:23:51 PM | O.P.- Have you been with him for a year or 6 months? Confused here. Anyway, let him "deal with all his problems" in your absence. That leaves you free to work on you and why you think you deserve this treatment, and also why you "love him with all your heart". Love yourself more! He obviously isn't in love with you, just himself (i.e.- cheated on you a FEW times!). Good luck and God bless!
P.S.- your profile shows no self confidence. Work on that and then come back to p.o.f and write one that shows you as a confident lady who knows her value!
Edit- saw your post below. Now it's 8 months. Totally confused now. How many times did the jerk cheat on you? How many times did you take him back, or did you just stay with him? | |
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| What should I do if my bf thinks us breaking up is the best thing
Posted: 2/22/2008 1:41:13 PM | oh i felt exactly the same when i broke up with my bf. we were togetehr for a year n a half, lived together for 6months. i loved him so much.. and when we broke up, i was sure we wernt doing the right thing. i cried myself to sleep... didnt eat for 2 weeks!! i was a mess. i missed him. but now i can see it was the best thing i ever did!! i am so much happier, and im glad i was strong, and didnt go back..
except he didnt cheat on me or anything, but even more so.. you have a very good reason to not want to ever see him again!
maybe it is the best thing.. maybe its not. but what happens happens for a reason.. and you will be fine in the end! | |
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| What should I do if my bf thinks us breaking up is the best thing
Posted: 2/22/2008 3:10:51 PM |
He has left me, taken off and cheated on me a few times, now he thinks breaking up is the best thing for us...
What's wrong with this picture. Hmmmm, for starters, take back YOUR power, you have total control of your destiny!!!! Alas, love is usually blind and one cannot see reality for what it is, no matter what others say. It appears that your BF (and I use the term loosely) has a lot of baggage that he must deal with and doesn't really need you around anymore. Listen to the writing on the wall sweetheart...
As for your inner voice, it is there warning you of pending doom if you stay on this course of action for the rest of your life. He's moving on, now you must take a stand and do the same. There are lots of great guys out there.  Quit spending time with the bottom feeders and come up for a breath of fresh air. 
Nice guys:         
If you continue on your present course of action, pretty soon there won't be enough of you left to identify who you were, you'll just occupy the empty space around your shoes. Bottom Line... You get what you tolerate.
NOw move on... That's my advice!!!! 
**~Remington55~** | |
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| What should I do if my bf thinks us breaking up is the best thing
Posted: 2/22/2008 3:19:40 PM | | if he did it once, will he do it again, wait he already did.. sounds like infatuation to me.. I can't see how you can put all of you into something, and know that it's like having loose eggs rolling around on the floor board. The traffic flow of life is gonna make too many messes, I don't think you want to spend all of your time cleaning up and dealing with the smell... If he can't treat you the way you expect to be treated, expect to be treated the way you don't want to be.. don't think i could live with that.... I think the life force would get suc*ed right out of me | |
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| What should I do if my bf thinks us breaking up is the best thing
Posted: 2/22/2008 3:49:29 PM | Re-Read your second line, He has left me and taken off on me and Cheated on me a FEW times. U sd U hav known him 1 yr and been together 6 mos. He says he lost what he had felt for U when first got together. Lucky You , I hope he keeps feeling that way. This guy is not capable of a healthy emotional relationship. My Ex started the cruel cheating game after marriage & numerous times then it was over in 7 years and the 2 children grew up without a father & no child support to help. He is on his 3rd marriage. I wish he had done it B4 marriage, so I wud have had a chance to dump him then & have my children with someone kinder. If he hurts you he also hurts them dont forget.
Also, these days when someone "sleeps around", he could easily bring Herpes & or Aids home to you.....dont let him lie and tell you B.S. Drop him NOW & dont cry One tear, he isnt worth it. Make him pay his share of bills owing re the apt...or bring him to talk to the landlord if moving.....he needs to take his share of responsibility.
There is some healthy info regularly on www.Oprah.com | |
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