| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 6:37:06 PM | Just wanted to ask the guys this because it seems like some men prefer to masturbate than have sex with the girl they are with.
Do you prefer to masturbate to say pic's on the internet or would you prefer to have sex with your girlfriend or wife?
And if masturbation is your preference over sex with your signifigant other........why?
I know this is a natural thing for men to do and I have nothing against it, just curious. I noticed with the guy I'm dating that if he masturbates to porn on the internet then I can usually count on not getting any sex for awhile.
Why is this? | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 6:42:17 PM | | Men will always prefer sex with the girl or wife over masturbation unless something is wrong with them. Maybe they are afraid or intimidated of sex with the woman. The guy probably masturbated because he didn't think he was getting any later and once he does it he cannot go again for a while. If he knows hes getting it he wont do it. | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 6:44:44 PM | | The thing is he knows that I am a very sexual person and that he will get it no matter when or what. I have asked if it's me and he said no he loves having sex with me and is very attracted to me but won't answer on the masturbation issue as to why that over sex with me. | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 6:50:30 PM | | You should find another guy. I personally would never choose anything over the person I'm with. Sounds like this guy has some intimacy issues. If I'm not in a relationship I don't even think about sex. When I am then watch out because thats all I think about but only with that person. Porn does nothing for me and I am too lazy to masturbate. It's too much like work. | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:00:37 PM | | LOL That's what my ex husband said to me before we seperated....it's too much like work I would rather just have sex with you....but why if he is interested and turned on by me when we do have sex (and that goes both ways) does he feel the need to masturbate? I just don't get it. | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:14:58 PM | | They say you need to love yourself before you can love another, so maybe he's trying to make peace with himself by making love to himself?! LOL I have no idea honestly. That's bizarre. The dude has some issues and needs a little help from a friend, and not Suzy Palm and her five sisters either! I think you'll be hard pressed to find many guys who like to whip up a batch up baby batter over a night in the sheets with a beautiful lady....or ANY lady for that matter! But then again I don't understand masterbation and maybe I cannot speak on behalf of those who do enjoy it. I don't get much of a release from it and as such don't do it all that often. | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:15:13 PM | I think for some guys... (my ex) It was to much work to want to care if I got something out of it...
Then of course he had some major control issues, and since I really liked it, and he was happy to have it maybe 6 times a year, it became a power struggle... He could get off by himself, and know that he denied me yet more sex.
We divorced after nine years of the irritation.
So is your complaint you don't get enough? Because if you do, then heck he just may be into the release, and not want to have to worry about making sure it was good for you. | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:25:40 PM | Fungirl,if you're a very sexual person ,then,i dont understand why he'd wanna masturbate to porn when he can get the real thing with you.......????
Strange. I'd be really insulted/pissed off............. | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:31:00 PM | Taking care of it myself or having someone to take care of it with?
Hmmmm.....lemme think about that one.... | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:37:40 PM | nexthyme: That's exactly what is happening when we do have sex, as long as he gets off and feels satisfied after that's all that matters.....and when he does masturbate he knows that he's denying me yet more sex....anytime we talked about it he said to me "oh that's all you think about is sex" well yes it is but its sex with him that I am craving!! lol No one else.
My complaint is definately that I don't get enough, once or twice a week just doesn't cut it for me. lol | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:40:34 PM |
as long as he gets off and feels satisfied after that's all that matters.
Sounds like a real stingy lover. You only a few options left if that doesn't change. | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:40:35 PM | Oh man I got say something, women you are MISSING something here. If your guy would rather jack off by himself then be with you, it's saying loud and clear that it takes to much effort and is not satisfying... meaning sex with YOU is NO GOOD and not worth the effort. How could women miss this? or take it for something else?
WOW | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:41:29 PM | K, I'll admit it, lol.
Sometimes when in a very long relationship (years), there are times when I just want to cum. If I do that with my lady it means I 'll be putting a fair bit of effort into things to make sure she enjoys just as much as I do. If I handle things myself. A couple minutes and I'm back doing whatever I was just doing before. No muss, no fuss.
As for not wanting it again for a long while, I can't speak to that. | |
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Posted: 2/23/2008 7:53:55 PM | stoney1: That makes sense to me and maybe it's just that he feels that we don't have the time (working 2 jobs) but it seems to me that it's exactly what Kazoom said that it's just not worth his time. But when we do have sex which is at least once or twice a week and he's the one that is asking for it I am hard pressed to believe that's it. He shows me affection at the right times, does special little things for me but sex just doesn't seem important to him.....just the part where he gets off.
He works late and is under huge amounts of stress at work so could that be it? | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:58:42 PM | I wasn't going to post in this thread until I read stoney1's post.
Did you ever stop to think that the woman you were with wouldn't mind a quickie where she didn't get hers until perhaps later in the day just to make you happy? Or that maybe she'd just give you a bj to take care of you and you take care of her later? Just my thoughts on it...
OP... I'm not a guy and can't answer for them... but as a woman I'd rather have the real thing over masturbation. | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 8:03:09 PM | | Oh, you misunderstand me. I don't mean the guy doesn't want you. Nothing to do with you at all in fact. In my case, when this happens, I just want to cum. I wouldn't be in the mood for sex. I'd be getting sex all the time. Once a day or so, as such I wouldn't have a craving for sex. I'd just want the end part at that moment. I think we all agree, sometimes it would be nice just to take a few minutes and cum. That MIGHT be what's happening. Sounds like when you two do enjoy it's working just fine. I wouldn't worry. May I suggest you try one thing. Let him know that sometimes if he just wants a quick "Uuuuug...... Thanks", that's it's ok by you. | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 8:12:41 PM | | If he fantasized about, say, spanking, and she didn't like being spanked at all, it would make sense for him to occasionally indulge his fantasies. If it's affecting your sex life though, that may be a sign that your preferences aren't compatible. | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 8:23:09 PM | | Thank you upforanadvetnure!! lol I saw what he was looking (he forgot to delete his cookies lol) and thought maybe I'm not fulfilling his fantasies the way he would like.....maybe if I started taking care of that part that might help? | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 8:35:17 PM | a friend of mine said he still likes to masturbate when in relationship. He said its his private time.
OP, did you try to talk to him? | |
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Posted: 2/23/2008 8:40:36 PM | PolkaDotGirl: I did talk to him about and he didn't give me a straight answer just that he still likes having sex with me and not to worry about it but when it's affecting our sex life it bothers me a little.
But maybe that's it maybe it's just his private time cause we do spend alot of time together.
Thanks for the insight, makes me feel a little better! lol | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 8:46:21 PM | Meh ... His decision to maturbate when He is alone or it's not easy to go for the whole enchilda MAY have nothing to do with your inability to please Him in any way. i've know guys who really like to burn off some excess tension or energy and it's just their private thing. It's not that they don't love their women or the sex with them ... it's just there version of a tension release and most of them are in high stress jobs. Then again ... some will do it at times out of boredom ~laughs~ but they all say it's got nothing to do with the woman in their lives for the most part ... it's just their -me- time.
It's ticklish of us ladies because we worry that we aren't pleasing to Him ... not satisfying Him or think it's a precursor to Him stepping out to get what we're NOT ... whatever -we are not- happens to be. Sometimes we can be a bit insecure ... especially if we find porn (online or such) that depicts things we don't do with Him or women we have almost NOTHING in common with.
For some Men i am sure it IS about what they aren't getting from the lady ... perhaps she isn't into something that HE is ... perhaps He hasn't communicated His wants ... perhaps HE is fearful that the woman will think He is a deviant or a perv if He discloses a secret sexual proclivity or interest ... perhaps He has some misgivings about some of His own interests and hasn't introduced you to them because He sees you as His lady and those naughty girls in porn as just sluts?
Depending on your relationship with Him ... talk to Him. Ask Him if there are things He feels He is missing in your sex life. But before you do ... consider whether or not you are actually willing to accomidate Him in some of the stuff He might be into. Ask Him if it's just to blow off tension or whatever or if He is unsatisfied and work at it together. i've yet to see many couples who are open and able to communicate about sex come to a place that they couldn't find acceptable common ground. You might could roleplay a little with Him to give Him a taste of a scenario He is veiwing in His porn ... it's just all in how the conversation goes and what His needs are.
~angel | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 8:53:46 PM | Wow, that's kinda sad to read. If I had a penis I'd do myself :P
I just can't wrap my head around why you would stay?
Perhaps communication break down, as in he can't communicate to you how to get his money shot as intense or quickly as he can because he's so experienced doing it himself?
Ugh, I feel for ya | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 9:03:16 PM | LOL, sure you aren't with my ex spouse?
I hear ya 1 or 2 a week.... geez that is just barely enough to remind ya you are alive...
Seriously, if it bothers you and you two have talked about it, perhaps he doesn't know himself, or is to embarrassed.
The private time thing I do know about, heck I like my own private time, so I can understand that...
Best thing to learn is if it isn't a big issue, he is working hard, that stress cuts into a guys head...(upper one), and some guys like me time to get their own relazation and stress relief. Perhaps he doesn't want to feel like he is just USING you for a stress reliever, which really pretty considerate. He thinks of you as his lovers and Rosey palm, her 5 sistas and the porn stars as his wh0res. | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 9:12:51 PM | The biggest reason for men to avoid their women for internet is simply that the woman is too big a pain in the ass to have sex with. If he's spending more time on the internet than with you...it's probably YOU. Perhaps the little ones are always around and that puts a damper on sex...nobody wants to have little kids walking in asking what you & mommy are doing.
The other reasons I've noticed over the years is the woman has bad hygene habits...some gals get so stinky that it's unbearable to have sex with them...and trust me, it's gotta be VERY bad to drive us off.
Oh, yeah...one more thing...he's a Canuck...that means he's probably nuts anyway Trade him in for a hornyer fella in any case... | |
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| Masturbation and Sex
Posted: 2/23/2008 9:28:05 PM | Hmmm... I dunno ~ there's something to me that's very odd about what you say about this guy OP. Not in the sense that he masturbates frequently ~ but that he does it to the point that it's become the more preferred activity over actually being with you. Guys are hard wired to a degree that way. Most (not necessarily all) would jump at the chance to be with a real live person than just watching porn and doing the yanky spanky themselves.
Most especially because you have a high sex drive (most men merely DREAM they would have a woman like that), it boggles the mind that this guy isn't jumping at it every chance he can with you.
If I was in the situation you are, I would just take care of my needs myself... right beside him in bed for that matter. I'm selfish that way. If a partner won't contribute, that doesn't mean I should have to go without. If you start doing that in front of him it might evoke something within him. But then again, maybe not. If not and if this doesn't get resolved, you need to take a serious look at if this is the right relationship for you.
Personally, while I understand that guys statistically have a higher sex drive than women, I couldn't stay with someone that got themselves off more than wanting to have sex with me. While it's not THE most important part of a relationship, it's an integral part of it and if things aren't happening that keep you both satisfied on that end, it can have a negative impact on the relationship. A good sized piece of the puzzle in a relationship is two people fitting together and being on the same page. He sounds very selfish. To me a relationship is give and take and caring about how the other person is feeling and helping each other achieve their desires (both in and out of the bedroom).
You need to tell him how you feel about it and that his actions are pretty selfish cause it's not all about HIM. If you wanted to just have a quickie with yourself, you don't need him to assist in that and it's obvious that he's showing he doesn't need you for it most of the time. You can do it whenever YOU want it and don't need a guy around for that. If that's what it starts to come down to, it's time to reasses and perhaps find a more compatible mate. | |
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