| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/24/2008 6:21:54 PM | It is proven that negative emotions exert more power in social situations than positive ones...The squeaky wheel gets the grease I guess.Why are people more apt to believe gossip than good things about people???
I like to spend my time hanging around "happy people" and keeping my
distance from fatheaded people I mean negative types... what???...negativity is freakin' catching it is a virus how do you keep your distance? I mean you try to
stay away from people that have the flu right? How do you handle the negativity in your life? | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/24/2008 6:24:30 PM | | There is one person that is negative in my life, and sadly I cannot ignore her or avoid her...my grandmother. I have learned to just "tune" her out. This was a huge thing for me as I am not good at tuning out anything. But I have also learned as an adult that I don't want her to have that control over me (being able to make me angry etc), so I don't allow her that control, by not reacting to the things she says or does. | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/24/2008 6:32:07 PM | Oh, this is an easy one -you torment them with insatiable positivity! It makes them all itchy and they will go find someone else to bother :-)
I think negative is a vague word here - did you mean people who are negative, dramatic, destructive, etc, etc? Life is short and they can be miserable on their own - give 'em the boot. | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/24/2008 6:37:55 PM | | counteracting the negativity helps it depends on who the person is. I have a client/friend who was soooooo negative that I didn't want to visit her or talk with her on the phone, but then I realized that is exactly what she does to everyone in her life, she is alone and depressed, she went through a really tough time, cancer/operation..loss of job etc. I decided to visit (with a dred in my gut) her and for all the negativity she had I countered it with positive I left her house feeling horrible because it was such a negative environment, b ut the next time I saw her she had changed her attitude got a job and started a diet. who knows like I said it all depends on the situation and how close the person is to you. | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/24/2008 6:39:37 PM | Well for me it's like this::
Everyday is new and fresh and it's my personal choice as to what, whom and which emotions I let effect me.
We have all encountered negative people, we do every single day...the difference is in choosing consciously HOW we are going to deal with it and WHAT we are going to embrace.
I don't allow other peoples anger, negativity or moods effect how I am going to conduct myself or how I am going to feel. You are right-- misery is like a flu virus and by choosing to NOT embrace it, you have won half the battle.
Don't let others talk you into "seeing" things through their negative persona or outlook, it will on drag you down and make you feel as bad, if not worse than they feel....remember the key thought, "misery loves company". | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/24/2008 6:39:52 PM | Gossip and negativity, for many people, is like that 3 car wreck on your way home from the office. As much as you find it gross and distateful,you can't help yourself but to slow down and get a crick in your neck trying to get a good look.
Something fantastical is so much more interesting than the mundane, and to add to the drama is second nature for those who get sucked into it's vortex.
It's like being in a relationship with someone who is paranoid. They can't discern their dillusion from truth, and they actually believe that the dillusion is real.
What do you do? If you can't seperate yourself from the person/people, then you have to protect yourself from getting sucked along into that vortex. Keep reminding yourself that this is their issue, and not yours. | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/24/2008 6:40:06 PM |
I think negative is a vague word here - did you mean people who are negative, dramatic, destructive, etc, etc? Life is short and they can be miserable on their own - give 'em the boot. How do you give your boss the boot or your Mother?? bend over Mom!
I think for some people it is sooooo easy to notice what's wrong. It takes real practice to see what's right. Some of us have lived around negativity for years. How do you deal?
Sometimes it is the people that deserve love the least than NEED it the most! | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/24/2008 6:46:15 PM | We all have good and bad days and we all need a friend to talk to, however some people thrive in being negative all the time. I will bring it to their attention and if they don't change... I blow them off.
I don't have time for drama and constant negativity.
Successful people always try to surround themselves with positive people... this is why they are successful.
I never met a pessimist that could offer positive advice  | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/24/2008 6:48:46 PM | Sometimes it is the people that deserve love the least than NEED it the most!
I have someone in my family like that and I know I need to talk it out with them when a chance arises but I'm not looking forward to it. It's exactly like you said in the quote above.
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/24/2008 6:52:36 PM | if you work hard to separate the individual from their words and behavior, they become easier to deal with. but that skill takes practice. try taking an objective stance with your mother, if she drives you nuts. next time you have to deal with her, try to envision the encounter as if you were a reporter taking notes. if we can remove ourselves from the dynamic, can stay more positive.
i pick up on other people's emotions, so i have a hard time dealing with people who whine or indulge in self-pity. sometimes i just want to say 'yes, your life has disappointed you, no one appreciates you and you should get drunk every evening and wallow in self-absorbed drama.' but i can't say stuff like that. and i can't allow it to drain me, either. so if objectivity doesn't work, i back away and save my energy for someone who deserves it. | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/24/2008 7:08:17 PM | I agree Indigo.
I have no time for negative people. I just keep my distance. Slowly separating myself until I disappear from their life.
I have a family member who is horribly negative...I couldn't cut her out of my life---I feel for her--it is a close relative---and it is true that it affects us because when I visit there--which is as little as possible-- I always feel like crap when I leave. | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/24/2008 7:12:13 PM | I sound a little like a therapist around negative people. Everytime they make a negative statement, I ask, "What makes you think that?" or "Why do you feel that way?" or any of those types of questions. Surprisingly, I get a lot of insight to those types of people.
One of the other posters was right, you can't delete your boss or family members, but you can learn to handle them. | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/24/2008 8:11:53 PM | did somebody say squeeky wheels?
Negative people in my life?
It's my choice who is actively involved in my life.
I may be 'stuck' with a negative personalilty in the family tree somewhere...
but to allow them to be active in my life wouldn't be a reality for me. No thanks. 
It would be their choice to be negative,
and my choice to not be around it.
If negativity comes at me... I choose to smile and wheel in the other direction. | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/24/2008 8:37:23 PM | In my personal life, I spend time with friends that uplift me and make me laugh. Everyone has bad times that get them down and need support and to vent. One of my friends lost her mother recently and I was there for her during the time her mother was dying and afterwards.
This is different then being around people who are negative at everything and don't ever see the glass half full instead of half empty. I won't stay around people who are constantly negative as it brings me down.
One of my family members was verbally abusive and miserable and I spent as little time with him as possible. When he died, I did not miss him and his verbal abuse. He died alone with no friends as his self-centered abusive ways had driven them away.
A couple of my co-workers are negative and no matter what I do it won't be good enough. I realize that this is their problem and usually try to keep to myself with them. I try to socialize with co-workers that are positive.
Overall, I choose people that uplift me and I can uplift them. Unfortunatly, you can't choose your co-workers, but I make the best of it when I'm with the negative ones. You can't pick your family either, but you can decide how much time to spend with them. | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/25/2008 12:25:40 AM | Negativity feeds on negativity..... We all have ups and downs... but, when someone is NEGATIVE 100% of the time and their glass is 1/2 empty... I tend to end relationships... Because I can't handle all the negativity!
Unfortunately, I have someone in my life that is EXTREMELY negative if we weren't related she wouldn't be in my life anymore. It's very difficult to have a conversation because I can say one thing... and her response is InSTANTLY negative. I don't even think that way so I'm always caught off guard! I don't understand how someone can be happy being so miserable! | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/25/2008 8:35:49 AM | its simple you do what anyone else does ignore them!!! is that hard to do??
i'm the negative type because of all the sh*t i've been through and put up with...now i can't stand happy people and avoid them like a plague cause they make me sick...i see happy people all the time at my school and i just glare at them and mind my own business thinking what a pity they feel at way..you can be negative and be make jokes about it but no one ever gets those jokes | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/25/2008 11:51:46 AM | | Don’t “engage” negative people. Let them do their spiel, wait till they’ve “run down”, tell them “that’s an interesting point”, and leave it at that. Pretty soon they run out of things to say when they see they can’t get a rise out of you. | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/25/2008 2:07:11 PM | | If I'm in their presence and they're not a frequent flyer, (a drive by) I just enter my zone, where I sing to myself really weirded out kiddie songs, or make a shopping list in my head, or think about really yummy sex...this way, I'm thinking happy thoughts and wearing a smile that they makes them think I'm being sweet and pleasant to them. If they ARE a frequent flyer, I have to construct my invisible bubble/barrier and act robotic...short, pat answers without expression (as tho I'm distracted, have a headache, etc.) that gives them nothing to feed off. Some cookies are hard to crumble, tho, and I have to wash, rinse, repeat time and time again. :) | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/25/2008 2:50:43 PM | Not only is negativity contagious , but so is positivity.
I work with a couple of woman , that can be negative on a daily basis.
And when one of them was in a mood, you could feel the rest of the people
around them catch the fever.
It was so oppresive around there some days, with the bad attitudes florishing.
Another woman and I made a decision together, to make an imaginary barrier
around us, that we would not allow the negativity to penetrate.
We became extremely silly and happy, and joked ourselves out of the negative atmosphere.
It worked, we began having so much fun, joking and finding the
funnies about our hectic day, that soon that was what the people around us were
picking up on.
Since making that decision to find humor in all that we could, we have both had many
of our co-workers come up to us and ask why we are always so happy.
Surprisingly it has brought the whole gang out of the
trenches of negativity. That was about 2 months ago, and it still is working.
With the exception of one woman , who still takes it all way too seriously.
But she also has days now where she can join in the fun, and can be joked out of her
mood.
Life is too short, so when you come across someone like that, give them a smile and
a joke.
If that doesnt work, dont let it suck you in, walk away and hope that tomorrow is better for them.
Laughter is very healthy | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/25/2008 3:04:13 PM | Is it just me, or do others find that in the workplace, it's mainly the women that are negative? There are mainly women where I work and as I said before, there are a couple of them that are usually negative towards others, unless your one of their friends.
I find the men I work with are easy to get along with and more positive. I like working with them because they are more positive and sometimes fun to work with because of their sense of humour. There have only been a couple of men that I've worked with who were negative but most of them are positive.
Do others find the same thing in their workplaces? | |
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| How do you handle the negative people in your life?
Posted: 2/25/2008 6:51:39 PM | A couple of knuckle sandwiches usually fixes the problem (just teasing).
Seriously I just do my best to ignore negative talk. I am relocating so I can be in a more positive environment after graduation. Just  when you find yourself around negative people. Don't spend too much time around them if you can. | |
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