| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/24/2008 10:29:20 PM | Why are pictures of young children on this Website? This is not the place for them. Pictures are deleted if the users face is not there, but yet young innocent children are exposed having their picture in full view of thousands of strangers. As parents, I uderstand we are proud of our children and grandchildren, but I also thought our duty is to protect our children. They are young, they are innocent and yet so many pictures of these young toddlers and older (definitely under the approved age of 18) appear on this site. Obviously, we are proud parents but we are putting them in danger by exposing them to the wrong types of people that are out there everywhere. How can we do this to them? I've said my peace so go ahead attack me, criticize me, whatever because I don't care. I am an advocate for the preventation of child abuse and to see pictures of adults and children and inappropriate information being presented at the same time in a forum thread does not meet with my personal approval or acceptance especially when children are involved. My philosophy is "children are our future!" So, why aren't these pictures deleted, they are more harmful than a "flower, butt, mountain, fireworks" that I have seen. Are the priorities in the wrong place???  | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/24/2008 11:52:12 PM | I'm going to attempt to be as articulate as possible in writing this post, and I hope that my idea's and ideals come clearly across.
I understand that your intentions are in the right place. I get that you seek to protect children. I applaud that you care. However, I honestly, sincerely, and full heartedly disagree with you. As someone who has two of my children's pictures on this website I couldn't disagree with you more then I do right now.
This website is about dating, yes. And it's about showcasing ourselves. We are in fact sales people. Our aim is to get other people to essentially buy into us. Our children are part of who we are. I show off my children on my profile because they show an important part of me. They show a loving, caring father. Often times, this part of me is bigger then any other part of me. It is the portion of me that would protect my children to no end. But how does posting their picture place them in harms way? The fact of the matter is that in this day and age, it just doesn't.
Bad things happen. They happen to good people, and they happen to bad people. They happen to elderly people, and they happen to young people. They happen to females, and they happen to males. Bad things don't discriminate. If something bad is going to happen to my children, then it's going to happen. That isn't to say I won't do my damn best to stop it though. My children are more at risk of coming into harms way by going to school then by me having their pictures online.
Now if I were to allow them to use the site, or the internet in general (which they don't, that IS my protective nature) then I would be introducing them into harms way. I would be asking for some predator to attempt to make contact with them. But that's not what I'm doing.
Each year I see Sally Field on TV asking for donations for the poor and needy of some African country. Time and time again, Sally shows young children on the screen. Should her commercials be taken off television because they use children to mass market a purpose? I don't think so. But it's very similar, isn't it?
I would agree that pictures of children should not be allowed on this site in one instance, and one only. If a profile reads "seeking intimate encounter" then, and only then, do I believe that pictures of children should be disallowed.
Let the good parents of the world protect their children, and you might be surprised to find out that the majority of children will be just fine. | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/25/2008 12:30:43 AM |  great thoughts OP,
I always thought some people live in a reverse time universe and they show themselves in their future youth or infant stage, sort of as something to look forward to
I agree though some people are proud of their children and may wish to share their family ties with a prospective mate. My preference would be not to share that information in form of pictures in any public media.
I don't mean to belittle the fact that there may be a possibility of abuse of a child due to someone showing a child in a picture, but I do believe it is rather remote.
I share your strong conviction for the protection of children in particular when the abuse takes form of exploitation in the sex trades. A point I made in a different threat to which many many mature people took offense, much to my surprise.
The only conclusion I can draw from that response is that there seem to be many people indifferent to the wellbeing of their fellow men. Perhaps they are just wrapped up in their own self and/or have been desensitized to turn a blind eye.
Seeing how many pictures with children are in profiles I think admin would be hard pressed to make yet another restricting rule to disallow such pictures.
Suppose that leaves the matter at a personal judgment call. | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/25/2008 5:50:51 AM | It's a matter of personal preference....I prefer to not post pictures of my children - for one thing I wouldn't do anything that involves them, their image, their name, etc. without their knowledge or consent. Secondly, I truly believe this isn't the place to showcase them. Just my choice.
I think writing about your children, the relationship you have with them, how important they are in your life, etc. gives a clear indication to the reader how you feel without having to post pictures of them.
My two cents.....
~Missy~
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/25/2008 9:17:08 AM | It is too bad that my comments have not tied in with the pictures and comments of threads. For example, there is a cleaned shaved guy on this site cheek to cheek with a beautiful toddler; however, his comment is:
"hi... i love bein shaved... it feels nice... and there havent been a complaint by me bein smooth yet... but what i love about bein smooth down there is when the gal releases her juices... it feels so good when the juice dripps around me and down my testies"
This is inappropriate and also relates to my comment why someone would anyone do this kind of thing [say this with a child in his arms]. It looks like a number of people need to do a little reseach on child sexual abuse as you will find that this is an epidemic [1 out of 4 girls / 1 out of 6 boys are sexually abused]. Your predator is not necessarily a stranger, he or she may exist in your own home, next door, at school, at church. If this the respect you show for your own child, then why not open it up to others to respect them the same way. That's your choice, and a terrible price for your child to pay. | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/25/2008 9:28:33 AM | I kind of see what you are saying with that... but, the reality of a parent actually talking like that with the child present is a different thing (I would like to think)! We do not know when the picture was taken in relation to when the comment was made.
It is my choice not to put pictures of my children on my profile here. I think it is far worse when I see a childs picture on the profile of someone who does not have children, I always wonder if the parents know about it. | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/25/2008 10:05:30 AM | Although I personally choose not to post pictures of my daughter, I think that posting sexually provocative pictures of ourselves is more likely to provoke a sexual predator than posting pictures of our children.
B. | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/25/2008 12:13:00 PM | ^^^ totally agree
though what is provocative and what is not is much of a personal judgment or lack thereof
'girls' don't cut of the pic right where the cleavage starts I always try to scroll down  | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/25/2008 1:06:34 PM | i think if you want to have pictures of your children up its your right ..
i always question why women must show off their bodies on here .. show their boobs .. their stomach's or just being in a bikini .. isn't this degrading to women ??
i managed to get my boyfriend with out showing and body parts and mind you i do NOT have pics of my boys up for my own reasons and i do not care what others do ..
we can argue lots of points about things on this site but all in all it is a free country and we as ADULTS get to make our own decisions .. plain and simple !! | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/25/2008 2:08:45 PM | Perhaps it is just me but I would prefer to see the pictures without the bikinis?
Kids pictures can be risky and personally I would not post them. | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/25/2008 3:00:57 PM | Parents and Grandparents show intense pride in the children of their families when they post pictures. When I view such images, it tells me that the profile owner is a strong believer in his/her family and would probably protect their children to their deaths if it came to that. The images are neither sexual nor provocative just proud.
Predators are out there, we all know that and perhaps they view dating sites. However, they are more likely to be found taking pictures on their own in schoolyards, parks or anywhere else a child plays.
The profiles we post have more to do with who we are and what we seek or want. Some are honest and others not. Some maybe seen as offensive by those who are uncomfortable with what is written. But in my view, they should not be seen as offensive or wrong because the owner chooses to show the reader a picture of his/her pride and joy.
Allow parents and Grandparents look after their children, they know what is best and really do not need any outsiders telling them how they should behave. They took on the responsibility of raising a family, they know the risks and do what they feel is right. | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/25/2008 4:08:28 PM | I choose not to post pics of me and my children, I have little girls and really do not feel that I have to market myself as a mom....or share that view of myself initially on a dating site.
I have no problems with kids who do post pics of their families, it is part of who they are and how they want to portray themselves.
I have yet to come across any vulgar pics with suggestive comments as you mentioned about the guy holding the baby.
I find the provocative pics of pple who display their wares and stage pics a bit odd, and would more likely lure a predator than a pic of someone with their child. | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/25/2008 5:50:01 PM | | I would take the pictures of the children off of this website. I find it odd, too, when I come across pictures of them. | |
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Tyeee
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Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 16 | |
| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/25/2008 9:08:34 PM | OP
We have to take every measure to protect our children and grandchildren from harm. I don't think anyone will dispute the need for that. We love our kids, are proud of them and want to keep them safe.
Obviously, we are proud parents but we are putting them in danger by exposing them to the wrong types of people that are out there everywhere.
Does the publishing of photos of a fish posing with their children actually put those children at a greater level of risk than if such photos were not published? I would hope not, but if so, how? Is there hard fact to support that?
On a side note, the logic of a fish publishing photos which include them posing with children has been discussed in other threads. Many defend their reasons for publishing such images. What appears to be missing is strong evidence that fishes want to see photos which include children when looking at someone's profile.
So if there is little demand or low preference for photos of a fish posing with children, does it make good sense to publish them?
Tyeee | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/25/2008 9:43:46 PM | | Tyeee - I agree that it is probably safe to put the pics up, but why take any chances when no one wants to see the kids, except maybe some sort of weirdo. I think the predators do better on sites like Facebook and My Space, where they can pose as teens and lure the kids. On these sites, they can actually interact with the kids. It is really a very frightening thing when you think about it. | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/25/2008 10:51:29 PM | As delighted as I am with my own beloved kids, the last thing I would do is put their pics up on this or any other site. After all, I'm essentially "advertising" myself, not them. Also I would be fairly reticent in introducing any new man in my life to them until I got to know him better. Of course, as I'm just here for the forums these days, I suppose that's easy to say, huh?
Cheers, Penelope | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/26/2008 12:57:58 PM | Although I don't have any children, If I did I would not post their pictures on an adult internet dating site. I understand parents are very proud of their children as they should be, but posting their pictures is in my opinion showing very bad taste and poor judgement as a parent.
Needless to say, I do not message anyone that showcases his children on this website.
On the other hand.........pictures of your beautiful dog?? Bring em on! | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/26/2008 2:21:45 PM | To say that no one wants to see the pictures is just plain ignorance. While I might agree that most people responding in this thread are against it, it's surely not all. And even if all people responding in this thread don't want to see pictures of someone's kids, the people in this thread would represent a small portion of the thousands of people that use POF. You can't possibly take a handful of sand and say that since that handful is made out of granite then all sand must be made out of granite. It's not a true statement, it doesn't work, and it does show poor logic.
People want to talk about chances, and that's all well and good. Chances of someone ever reaching through a computer screen and taking my child from a picture are 0%. Someone seeing my kid at a swimming pool and taking them would be much higher, I'd say as much as 2-4% (based on the amount of people visiting the pool in a given year, this is of course an estimate). My opinion, if it matters, is that people need to stop worrying about things that don't really effect them. Let parents worry about their children, it's their job. If you truly feel that a child is at risk, call your local police department and file a complaint. I promise you that most, if not all police stations now have an internet crimes division. They'll investigate the pictures, investigate the profile and the message history, and they'll decide to go forward or not with the case. Sitting here online talking about how bad it is does nothing. If you have a complaint, do something about it.
Speaking strictly for myself, as a parent I worry about my children more then anyone could, and I have always, and will always, go to extreme lengths to keep them safe when I see there is a threat to them. Posting their picture is not a threat to them, because I won't let it be one. | |
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Tyeee
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Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 21 | |
| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/26/2008 2:44:16 PM | To say that no one wants to see the pictures is just plain ignorance. While I might agree that most people responding in this thread are against it, it's surely not all. And even if all people responding in this thread don't want to see pictures of someone's kids, the people in this thread would represent a small portion of the thousands of people that use POF. You can't possibly take a handful of sand and say that since that handful is made out of granite then all sand must be made out of granite. It's not a true statement, it doesn't work, and it does show poor logic.
I don't think anyone has said that "no one wants to see the pictures". There does however tend to little expressed interest for such pictures, and some expressions of disapproval of them.
So the question one might consider is "Does it make good sense to publish photos of my children when there appears to be some evidence that isn't good bait in this pond, and little evidence to suggest that is does make good bait?"
Is the purpose of a POF profile to showcase our progeny or is it bait we toss in the pond in hopes of catching a fish? I believe it to be the latter.
Ultimately the choice of publishing such photos is made by the user, who according to some posts above actually risks repelling interest solely because photos of children were in a profile.
Tyeee
VVVVV
EDIT: Okay, so someone said "no one". I stand corrected. It is however only a generalization, one that obviously can be argued. However we have yet see someone make a convincing argument for choosing to use what appears to be ineffective bait for the majority of fish in the pond. | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/26/2008 2:48:45 PM | Message # 17 by Xavery:
Tyeee - I agree that it is probably safe to put the pics up, but why take any chances [bold]when no one wants to see the kids[/bold], except maybe some sort of weirdo. I think the predators do better on sites like Facebook and My Space, where they can pose as teens and lure the kids. On these sites, they can actually interact with the kids. It is really a very frightening thing when you think about it. | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/26/2008 2:54:36 PM | | i don not understand why its so bad ,,are there that many fruit cakes out there ?my gosh ..if your seeing someone or talking about it whats the big deal showing a picture of your family ,,but personally i wouldn't post shots with children for the simple fact that when they get a little older they might not be to keen on the idea of you posting there baby pictures or young teen pictures over the internet to copy and be pasted anywhere down the road one day.. | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/26/2008 8:45:52 PM | | Sorry, I misinterpreted Tyeee. Personally, I want to see pictures of the posters not their children. If they have several shots of themselves, I think it is good for posters to put pictures of things they find meaningful up. Still, I wouldn't post pictures of children here. | |
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| Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 2/26/2008 9:39:44 PM | There is a very good argument for it though. I choose to place things in my profile that mean something to me. My children mean the world to me, and I want people to know that, and to see that. You want a convincing argument? How about the freedom to choose? Posting those pictures is my personal choice. And while it may not be to some people's likings, it's not THEIR choice. If people want a reason why others have their children's pictures in their profiles, it's quite simple. The pictures are there because because we want them on there. That IS a convincing argument.
EDIT: Once again, I would also like to point out that you're using an inaccurate and possibly false statement.
use what appears to be ineffective bait for the majority of fish in the pond.
You don't know this to be true. While in this thread it appears to be the majority of people are not for it, this majority of people can not, and should not, be used to represent a vast portion of the people who use this site. It would be like me saying that it's ineffective bait to use a picture of yourself holding a fish (and yes, I understand the irony). I have no right and no real basis or proof to back up such a statement. | |
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